Latest Posts by aertalias - Page 4

starting talking with Dirk was bad idea

hello, dirkjake enjoyers👀

just dirk strider being fruity

besties!!

first its porn bots next thing you know its gonna be aliens in ur dms typing in leetspeak

two different kinds of movie enjoyers

bonus:

The only known copy of the Hussie “First Folio” of c. 1625 exists in fragments in the Bodelian Library (MS. Eng. misc. c. 413). No publishing details are available, provenance is unknown.  

Prologue:

The uncertain glory of an April day, Which now shows all the beauty of the sun, Limns a youth upon which no name did weigh These thirteen springs. That burden will be one He will take up this morn, and so in this This gentle youth becomes a gentleman, By taking on the name that’s rightfully his - A token that betokes a divine plan. Where others, who did Fate give name at birth Can have no say in what their fortune tells (Whether lives of misery or of mirth), This youth may choose his Heavens, or his Hells. He stands now at the door of childhood’s room, Now Let him learn his name, and learn his doom.  

Act 1, scene 1

   Voice: Enter name.

   Boy: Letters are appearing! As if drawn by Some fiery hand - and now I ken they spell The name “Zoosmell, Lord of Dung”? Fie on this, Fie! A shallow jest - better be the names Of rustics than nobility besmirched.

   Voice: Try again.

   Boy: More words appear, these pleasing to the eye - I’ll be “John Egbert”, a name for saints and Kings, I trow. Now to take up arms and go, But where among these cakes and bills for rude Entertainments could they be? In this drawer?

Looks in drawer

   Boy: No arms. Damn my addled mind: they rest Beneath the cake inside yon magic chest.

   Voice: Remove CAKE from MAGIC CHEST

Boy retrieves arms

   Boy: No antics or hilarity for now, I must needs store these in my Sylladex. What else lies here? Some Gyves that feign to lock, A Blade that cannot wound, a Hat, a Mask, Tricks to mimic smoke or blood, a Treatise On japes, a Volume on the life of a Man of wisdom who traffick’d in dark arts. All this I fain would take ‘gainst future need, For now mayhaps this smoke will show it’s meed.

Takes smoke pastilles

   Boy: Alas! my arms I now can’t bring to hand! This Sylladex is like unto the sack That peddlers use to cart about their wares – And all that they have pack’d must be unlade ‘Ere that which they pack’d first will come to light. No matter now: anon I’ll set it right.

Examines bill

   Boy: No spirits be as facinerious As these. Though fell be their actions and their Passions run to black, these hell-kites’ exploits Enthrall me and I can’t abjure their charms. How now, a note? My father left this here, A birthday gift to mark my thirteenth year.

John and Jane death-pranking Dirk (GONE WRONG) (GONE JUST)

Earth C Dirk is sad about dropping Lil Cal into the ocean so Roxy arranges a funeral (They’ve no idea where Lil Cal is they just have a funeral because Roxy seems to do funerals for everything)

He’s trying to convince him that his moustache is cool

Striders trying to cook an egg

Enter name.

Your name is REI AYANAMI.

You are one of a few specially selected pilots for enormous machines known as “Evangelions”, or rather you were before you destroyed them all, more or less.

Your room enlightens people to your many HOBBIES, of which you actually have none, except possibly for causing the END OF HUMANITY, which you have done a number of times, including just now. Again, it’s not exactly one of your primary interests, but you won’t deny that you’re pretty good at it. This time you think it will stick.

You are known for your stoic personality, which your friends think belies a DEEPER UNDERSTANDING OF THE UNIVERSE, but in reality you just weren’t really raised very well. You do actually have an unusually strong understanding of the universe, though. You know, for example, that you are a CLONE, possibly of OTHER CLONES. This is a comfortable reality for you, although you can’t wait until your friends find out. The look on their faces will be EPIC!

You have been surrounded by your clones in various forms for some time now, and currently this fact presents itself in the form of your SPIRITUAL GUIDE, whose components you dragged out of some machine somewhere. You have reason to believe that there is even ANOTHER REI sleeping in the medium, and you think that having plenty of backup Ayanamis is a good and not deeply existentially worrying way to assure that someone can take your place the day after your INEVITABLE AND PROBABLY GRUESOME DEATH.

You also have reason to believe that that day is today.

You do not have an online handle, and you write exactly as you have been ordered to.

What will you do?

> Rei: Be Asuka instead.