Andrius Felt Useless

If Mr Jalapeño ever released an official instrumental album I think I would be the happiest I’ve ever been in my life (I just really want a Love In Paradise and God Games instrumental).

I need to hear what secrets this man has hidden in the instrumentals…

Prompts about a superhero who finds out their parent is a villain?

“You’re evil!”Their parent sighed. “Morality is a subjective concept, I’ve taught you that. You break the law every time you go out in that cape.”“I’m a hero, it’s different!”“Name one quantifiably ‘evil’ thing I’ve done.”The teen hero opened their mouth, full of righteous fury. Then closed it. They were sure their parent had been caught doing something evil, yet they couldn’t think of anything. Not a single dastardly crime.

—

“You are not my mother.”The villainess smiled, ever in control, ever amused by their shuddering rage. “You can deny it all you want, little hero. You were born from me; my blood runs in your veins. My powers are your powers.”“Your morals,” they spat, “are not my morals.”Her smile widened. “Not. Yet.”

—

“It’s not that I’m trying to control you,” their parent said, a comforting hand on their shoulder, “but I have to keep you safe. You know that right?”“By any means necessary,” they repeated dully, thoughts whirling too fast to spare any inflection.Their parent squeezed their shoulder. “So becoming the city’s most feared supervillain isn’t that outrageous, right? Definitely no worse than Kiera’s mum baking 800 cupcakes for the PTA bake sale.”

—

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i wish all my beloved followers and mutuals a very “you find a fic that has the exact premise and characterization you’ve always wanted to see but never had the energy to write yourself and it’s really good and just as long as you want to read”

Set Up

Supervillain stalked closer and closer, but Hero was too weak to rise. Too weak to try and run away. They lay there waiting for their impending doom. 

“Don’t worry, little one,” Supervillain said as they crouched down, “you were set up to fail. Superhero always sets their apprentices up to fail.”

Hero opened their mouth to reply, but found they had no words. They squeezed their eyes shut against the tears that threatened to spill over. How could Superhero send them off to their death? After everything?

“Shhh, shhh,” Supervillain said soothingly as they reached out to cup Hero’s cheek. “Don’t cry. It’ll be quick.”

“Please,” Hero finally managed to gasp out. “Please, don’t hurt me. I’ll do anything. Anything! Please. Let me live.”

Supervillain took Hero’s chin between their thumb and forefinger, drawing Hero closer. “Anything? That’s a big offer. Are you sure?”

Hero knew they would come to regret this. But they had no choice. Doing anything for Supervillain seemed a lot better than dying right now. They nodded. 

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Supervillain smiled softly and lifted Hero into the air. “Let’s go then.”

“Go?” Hero didn’t like how gently Supervillain held them, almost tenderly even. 

“Yes. You’re going home with me. We’ll start your training when you’re ready.”

“What?” Hero was sure that this was some sort of sick joke. 

“Unlike Superhero, I don’t set up my apprentices for failure. I make sure they have adequate training and only send them out when they are good and ready. Join me, Hero, and your life will vastly improve.”

Dear Closeted People On Tumblr...

How do I pretend to be straight?

What do straight people talk about? How do I sit properly? How do I make it seem like I'm not distracted by a girl's beauty and I am indeed enchanted by the non-existing handsomeness of a boy? How does one breath in a gay panic?

Hello, I have a prompt request for a hero’s failed attempts to escape an arranged marriage with the villain, hope you’re having a good fall!

“I do hope getting married in secret before we could be engaged wasn’t your plan, was it? You see, no one would dare touch you. Not when you’re meant to be mine, not when they know what I would do to them.”“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”“Oh,” said the villain, holding up the plans that the hero was sure they had burned in the fireplace, “don’t you?”

—–

“Just let me go!” they cried. “You don’t love me, and I don’t love you. What are you forcing me to stay for, your own sick enjoyment? Just to watch me drown in misery?”“I keep you for the status,” the villain replied, crisp and entirely businesslike. “Because you’re my conquest, the symbol of my victory. You should be glad I let you roam free as my partner-to-be, rather than keeping you in a cage as a trophy.”

—–

They had evaded the staff, the security, the dogs and the motion sensors, the cameras and the keypads. Now they stood at the edge of the villain’s property, with only a chainlink fence separating them from freedom.A chainlink fence, and the villain themself. “You weren’t trying to escape, were you?” The villain fluttered their eyelashes, a cruel smile playing on their lips. “After all, that might hurt my feelings. You wouldn’t want to risk that, would you?”

—–

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Hi

I am desperately searching for a batfamily fic that goes "5 times the kids called Bruce dad and the one time he called them his children". I forgot to save it now I can't find it please help me I'm begging you-

I have more doodles you guys are in luck

Papers Out!

The thriller/comedy series I'm writing featuring character stereotypes that I either change completely or improve/expand details on. It focuses on a newspaper club filled with some of the main stereotypes you see in teen movies as they get dragged into a mystery involving human experimentation and the paranormal going on within their up tight private boarding school. My main cast includes an anxious nerd with a strange obsession with perfection, his sheltered catholic best friend who also embodies the gay best friend troupe, a mute theater kid who has definitely got arrested for arson at some point, a jock who acts as the groups overprotective older brother who is a bit far too caring, and the school's popular girl who definitely does not have a strange obsession with her image and has crippling insecurities.

"Honey?" [Villain] leaned on the window frame.

"Go away." [Hero] grumbled. "I 'cheated' on you. Remember?"

"No, that was [Civilian]'s heart you squashed." [Villain] snorted, caressing the poor hero's face. "When I wear this costume, I'm your secret criminal lover. The one you made out with in the parking lot."

"Shut up!"

"They're never going to let you out of this cell, knowing who you are." [Villain] pouted. "It's nearly impossible for anyone to look at you the same way again."

"I wish you could've just broke up with me instead of resorting to such low tactics." [Hero] mumbled. "It's not working, I'm not coming to join you so easily."

"Pumpkin, you're going to end up being a villain either way." Their lover laughed. "Whether you come crying back into my arms or not, I'm going to love seeing you turn into a monster."