Trying To Explain To My Mom How And Why I Relate To This Little Hissing Goblin Man Was An Insane Feat

Trying to explain to my mom how and why I relate to this little hissing goblin man was an insane feat of strength and will. She understands nothing about dnd and knows nothing about fantasy high. I really gave her no context. She understood nothing but she tried and that’s worth something

More Posts from Asymptotic-rage and Others

2 years ago

Having people accept and accommodate my autism is the best feeling. I love finding a quiet corner to sit in with my other autistic friends, but when it’s neurotypical friends, it means even more. They aren’t doing this for them, but only for me. I used to (and often still do) think of myself as less than because of my autism and other mental illness, but this helps me remind me that I’m not. Yes, I’m disabled but that doesn’t make me weird or worse.

can you infodump to me? (i love you) is this overwhelming? (i love you) is this the right texture? (i love you) is it ok to touch you? (i love you) do you want the subtitles on? (i love you) do you want to go somewhere less noisy? (i love you)

1 year ago

Buddy Dawn makes me the most angry of all the ratgrinders. That passive aggressive derision. Thinking he’s better than everyone else. The perfect parallel of how that was Kristen in freshman year. It’s brutal and that interaction was so tough to watch. I need Kristen to take his worldview apart so badly


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9 months ago

I love that Brennan's dynamic DMing for his wife is "Yes, absolutely, anything you want an I'm also going to make sure you never die" and Murph's dynamic DMing for his wife is, "No, you're absolutely fucking insane and I'm going to make you suffer for it."

2 years ago

Fuck it I'm bored so here's a ranking of different Peter Parkers by how Jewish they are

Fuck It I'm Bored So Here's A Ranking Of Different Peter Parkers By How Jewish They Are

Dead last, obviously, is MCU!Peter Parker. This version of Peter is the farthest from comic canon to the point of being almost unrecognizable at times. Also, Tom Holland answered the question "is peter parker Jewish" in a Wired Autocomplete Interview a while back with a very baffled "no", cementing him forever as my sworn enemy. So he's actually the only peter parker who, at least by word of God, is canonically NOT Jewish. -1000000/10

Fuck It I'm Bored So Here's A Ranking Of Different Peter Parkers By How Jewish They Are

Next up is Tobey Maguire's Peter Parker. I think this Peter is... fine, at least he's much closer to comic canon than MCU!Peter, but honestly that's not saying much considering how far the MCU strayed from comic canon or even the spirit of comic canon. But like overall, Sam Raimi's movies just aren't particularly interested in presenting Peter as Jewish, so, eh. 1/10

Fuck It I'm Bored So Here's A Ranking Of Different Peter Parkers By How Jewish They Are

By far the most Jewish of live action Peters is TASM!Peter, also by far the most comic accurate of live action Peters. I'd be remiss not to mention the fact that Andrew Garfield is Jewish, and he understands the character so fucking well. He stated on record that he played Peter as Jewish and that he sees Spider-Man as an inherently Jewish character:

Fuck It I'm Bored So Here's A Ranking Of Different Peter Parkers By How Jewish They Are

However, the Webb movies still do not textually define him as Jewish, and the best parts of Andrew's Peter's Jewish subtext are better when viewed in light of the comics. Overall, 6.5/10

Fuck It I'm Bored So Here's A Ranking Of Different Peter Parkers By How Jewish They Are

Next up is the original, our beloved comic book Peter, pictured here saying Happy Hanukkah in a panel from Matt Fraction's Hawkeye. Comic Peter is one of the most heavily Jewish coded comics characters of all time, which is saying something considering how Jewish comic books are as a medium. Obviously he was created and often written and drawn by Jewish writers and artists, but beyond that his driving ethos and values are incredibly Jewish, and as a bonus he's constantly sprinkling Yiddish and Jewish phrases into his speech, alongside things like the above panel where he outright acknowledges Jewish culture in a scene where everyone else is saying merry Christmas. However, despite the extremely heavy coding, Marvel Comics are fucking cowards, and he has yet to be confirmed Jewish, so I must give him a measly 8/10.

Fuck It I'm Bored So Here's A Ranking Of Different Peter Parkers By How Jewish They Are

Finally, the cream of the crop, the most Jewish of all Peter Parkers, Into the Spider-Verse's Peter B. Parker my beloved!!! Peter B. is voiced by Jake Johnson, himself a Jewish actor, and is a phenomenally accurate representation of comic book canon - but he also has the unique quality of being canonically, textually, in the actual movie Jewish! It's a bit of a blink and you'll miss it scene, but when we get introduced to Peter B. in his "one more time" segment, we see his wedding to MJ, where he steps on a glass. This is a Jewish minhag - custom - meant to represent the destruction of our Temple and Jerusalem, as well as remind us that sorrow and joy come intertwined, and is one of my personal favorite Jewish customs. It's a phenomenal moment in the best Spider-Man movie, and while this version of Peter would have been my favorite film version regardless, his Jewishness absolutely pushes him even further up. 13/10, no complaints

1 month ago

Imagine for a moment you’re one of Lou Wilson’s new neighbors. This guy moves in driving the joker-mobile. He gives you his number and when your call goes to voicemail you’re treated to a full gospel choir. One day you catch a glimpse through his window and he’s just scratching hundreds of scratch-off lottery tickets. He owns two jet skis.

1 year ago

I did NOT need to be called out like this. Yes, I spent this morning eating spinach directly from the bag. I do not understand what to do with spinach. I know I am supposed to eat it so I will take it like medicine. I am glad to know I am not alone in this experience


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4 months ago

Emily axford and Zac Oyama are a girlfailure and just a guy duo in every universe

1 year ago

Writing a song so metal that you become god is insane


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5 months ago

My professor telling me that she knows John Green from his first time on Tumblr was not on my 2024 bingo card


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asymptotic-rage - The Void
The Void

Everything that happens in my brain is a trash chute

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