“Actually We Are Alive For Once. Wow... That Just Shocks Me. How Can I Live Without Her? I Can't...

“Actually we are alive for once. Wow... that just shocks me. How can I live without her? I can't... I think about her everyday, every minute, every second, everything reminds me of her. Wow... I love her. I love her.”

Myself in 2020

More Posts from Bardofanauthor and Others

8 months ago
HAPPY BI-VISIBILITY DAY, EVERYONE! (Sept. 23) 💙💜❤️

HAPPY BI-VISIBILITY DAY, EVERYONE! (Sept. 23) 💙💜❤️

1 year ago

Different Ways to Describe Eye Colors

↳ a masterpost for writing prompts that describe eye colors

Different Ways To Describe Eye Colors

Brown Eyes

Blue Eyes

Green Eyes

Hazel Eyes

Unusual Eyes

Gray Eyes

Heterochromia Eyes

Black Eyes

White Eyes

Hazel Green Eyes

Gold/Yellow Eyes

Reddish-Brown Eyes

1 year ago

Flashback to 2020 (tw depressive rant)

So, I’m pretty tired with myself today…

I’m so fucking lonely here you know?

No one around to talk to, everyone doing their own things?

It’s stupid…

Why can’t I love someone like how I love myself?

Am I that fucking insane to do something like that?

I guess I am…

I’m so fucking lonely…

I don’t hang out with many people anymore because of COVID….

I miss my old friends so much that I forget I even exist…

I think about people all the time that I become a completely different person.

It’s stupid.

It’s dumb.

It’s crazy what you do for love.

I know you will all be reading this and think, “What the fuck is this shit?”

I don’t know what I am either…

I’m just the chaos and the calm…

The sun and the moon…

Forward and backwards….

I’m everything people want to be and don’t want to be…

I’m the person that could help you or hurt you….

I am the person that talks to everyone or stays in the shadows…

I am myself…

I am not myself…

I am something I’m not…

Something not human…

Something not myself…

What even am I?

Why am I here?

Why do I even exist?

I don’t need to exist… at all!

Fuck me! I don’t give a shit!

Leave me alone for once!!!

I hate myself so fucking much!!!

I’m worthless!

I’m nothing.

I’m nothing without her.

I’m nothing without him.

I’m nothing without them.

I’m nothing.

I am nothing to no one…

And now I'm done with this...

This mask of a smile I've worn for so long...

It's gone...

The mask of happiness for my friends and families to see...

For the happiness I've falsely felt for an enternity...

Slam my fist in the wall.

Throw some shit and give me a call.

I'll scream at you for however long I feel like.

How are you doing?

How are you doing?

Are you bleeding like me?

Are you hiding behind a mask like me?

A mask like mine?

Are you here?

Are you surrounded by your own peers?

Are you looked down on or looked up to?

Are you still trying to be the version of yourself everyone thought you were a year ago?

Are you still faking those smiles?

Are you burning the horrible memories, that made no one trust you anymore?

Are you lying to people that don't deserve it?

Can you stop, cause I am far too gone?!

I need to stop and listen.

I need to do this, evenly.

I am a giant wave crashing into the shore line.

I am myself.

I am not.

I am the calm and the chaos.

I need help, but no one ever listens because, they have their own issues.

They have no time for you, it's true.

Leave them behind and don't go running back to them or they will hurt you more....

Or maybe not...

Maybe they're something more.

Like a soulmate or friend....

Maybe I should reach out to them for help...

Can I reach out for help?

Myself in 2020, not in the right headspace.


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10 months ago
Think I Found A Brush That I Like.. Plus I Had Like Barely Drawn This Big Man

think i found a brush that i like.. plus i had like barely drawn this big man

4 months ago

I have finally found the inspiration to write my first book with this prompt! My horror-romance novel is turning out to be quite thrilling. I've just finished chapter five and can hardly believe how far I’ve come. I’m excited to see where my characters will lead me next, and I can’t wait for the surprises that await!

Ship trope I'd love to see more of: "Are we in love? I mean, yeah, probably, but that's a problem for future us. Right now we're just trying to make it through the Plot."

1 month ago

“What if I write it and it’s bad-”

WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS GOOD? WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED? WHAT THEN????

2 months ago

We humans live, thrive, hate yet need change. If aliens changed at a much slower pace than us, how fascinated would they be at us?

--------------------------------------

Human: Ah, fellow per-x dweller! How are you?

Alien: Hello! I haven't seen you in- *eyes widen and looks up and down at human* you look...different.

Human: Oh. Yes, I've been exercising. You notice the difference?

Alien: ...how so fast?

Human: What do you mean? It's been an entire month! I would be disappointed if I didn't see this much progress.

Alien: ...I've been exercising for a year...and I still look the same. *distraught, staring into space*

Human: o-oh, how often do you-

Alien: every.freaking.day.

Human: ...I see.

Human #2: *walks by* hello, how are you both? It's been a while.

Human: *desperately looking to change topic* a-ah, your hair! You dyed it pink! Looks great!

Alien: ...I thought you hated pink like a day ago?

Human #2: Oh well, I just changed my mind.

Alien: ...a...day later?

Human #2: yes?

Alien: ...next thing yall tell me is going to be that you can change your mates often.

Human: like lovers? Haha, we rarely fall out of love easily-

Human #3: *rushes to them crying* Guys! My lover broke up with me in just a week of dating! A week!! Cuz stupid idiot "fell out of love" with me.

Alien: ...

Human #2: ...

Human: ...um...I'm sure it wasn't a week-

Human #3: *stealing tissues and blowing into them* A FREAKING WEEK!!!

Alien: ...why am I friends with you lot?

5 months ago

one of the best fics i've ever read, one that had me addicted to my phone and crying, wasn't even prose. it was a huge, casual, bullet-pointed outline with every detail of an au that the author never got around to writing in full. and it was amazing.

let this be a message to all you who want to write but can't do it "normally": write it! someone out there will eat it up. whether that be poetry, tiny drabbles, or bullet pointed list: your work is always worth it. your art (yes, art!) will alway deserve to have its moment in the spotlight. why? because you made it. even if it wasn't done in a traditional matter, it came from your brain and your creativity and that is amazing.

1 year ago

USEFUL WEBSITES FOR WRITERS

Writing With Color: Helps with writing about culture, ethnicity, and religion. Overall, it gives advice on how to write about diversity.

Name Generator: As the name says, it helps you build names for your characters. Very useful if you cannot think of names for your characters!

KathySteinemann: The 'archive.pdf' section helps you with synonyms in case you struggle to find the right word for your sentences (also to avoid using redundant words).

Spwickstrom: Similar to the previous one, this one provides grammar tips. Extremely helpful when finding phrases, verbs, conjunctions, adjectives, and so on.

Servicescape: The perfect website if you're experiencing writer's block. It provides writing prompts. It helps you spark creativity when it comes to writing.

reblog to help other writers !!

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bardofanauthor - Bard Of An Author
Bard Of An Author

Parker (they/he) (21)WRITING COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN! ★Apart of TOO MANY DAMN FANDOMS!!!

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