Vows Aka 10 Ways To Win Your Husband's Heart Masterlist

No one can convince me that he isn’t perfection! Namjoon, my love, you are my world!

happy tuesday ♡

This couple makes my heartache so good!

Love: a series

Your ex-husband's an asshole but you can't seem to move on.

Pairing: Namjoon x f!reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: Asshole Namjoon, smut, angst

Warnings: Sex, swearing

Love

Talk it out

Vanilla Guys

Favour

Five fuck Friday

My girl

Wedding rings and everything - a drabble

©hamsterclaw 2023

This is one of my most favorite stories that features 3 of my favorite Kim men! I love the world this author is creating and am so excited to read more!

A Map of Mrs. Kims | KSJ, KNJ, KTH

Pairings: Jin x female OCs, Namjoon x female OCs, Taehyung x female OCs (some POV shifts in drabbles and AUs)

Rating: Each chapter will have its own rating, but the story is a mix of PG-13 and 18 + | Mature | Explicit! 

read on ao3 | last updated: June 1

Synopsis: Mrs. Kim is tired of being accosted in the grocery store, at her art class, and even in the country club restroom about her three incredibly gorgeous but stubbornly single sons. So many women are vying for a spot on Jin, Namjoon, and Taehyung’s arms, but these three boys are dead set against settling down. Hopefully, Mrs. Kim’s trusty map of the city’s fourteen top bachelorettes will finally guide them to true love.

Genres | Content Warnings | Themes: Kim line as brothers, slice of life, enemies to lovers, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, unrequited love, slow burn, fluff, angst, and, of course, smut

Author’s Note: This is my love letter to our funny, sweet, and heartwarming ARMY, and it is particularly dedicated to all of you who have been so kind and generous with your time, your laughs, your feels, and your own beautiful stories. Can you believe we’ve been building the AMOMK world together for nearly 8 months?! It has been a hilarious, wonderful, and meaningful ride, and as always, I hope you enjoy where we end up! If this is your first foray into the AMOMK world, you can read the original ask that prompted the idea, check out the asks and snippets that have followed, and follow #amomk to check out all the still-ongoing asks / snippets / drabbles!

Parts | Chapters | Schedule:

🧭 North: 01 | 02 | 03  

🧭 South: 04 | 05 | 06 (Jun-Jul 2022)

🧭 East: 07 | 08 | 09 (Aug-Sep 2022)

🧭 West: 10 | 11 | 12 (Oct-Dec 2022)

🧭 Home (Dec 2022)

Extras:

What You Need to Know (starter packs and selected drabbles to jump into the AMOMK world!)

Bongseon’s Official Map (Mrs. Kim’s map and notes on the bachelorettes!)

Bachelorettes 1, 2, and 13 (between Chapters 02 and 03 in Y/N POV!)

Alternate Universes (more AMOMK fics by fellow ARMY!)

Unexpected Arrivals : part 1 | part 2 by @aureli-us! Who is this intriguing woman from Jin’s past?? Thank you for writing this side fic for the AMOMK universe, and excited for more!

Of Maps, Forms and Other Crazy Ideas by @sabiekay​! What is it like to fill out one of Mrs. Kim’s forms? Thanks for writing this drabble for AMOMK!

If you’d like to be included in the taglist, you can add yourself here, send me an ask, or comment on / reblog this post!

Headed to the Mountains |KNJ

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•one shot

•Masterlist

•pairing: songwriter Kim Namjoon x oc with chronic pain

•word count: 3,465

•genre: escapism, hurt/comfort, smut, established relationship

•rating: MATURE/ 18+

•warnings: current event commentary, somewhat anti- American sentiment (I live in Texas so I see a lot of mess first hand 🫤 it’s my country but my god, it’s messy), stress, chronic pain, high sensitivity, sensory issues, first person voice, smut smut smutty smut, oral (female receiving and male), tandem oral, smex, doggy style?, Namjoon’s big brain during smex, smut with feelings and a lot of thoughts (as usual) ((all my air sign placements really coming out to play

•a/n: idk what this is, besties, besides extremely unedited and wildly indulgent. I may change the voice out of first person and all the “i’s” to “you’s” but it’s up the way it’s up for now. 🤷🏽‍♀️The world is just a horrifying place right now, especially in the US, and I just wanted to write something that felt like a small refuge, spend a little time some place that felt better, so we’re back in Namjoon’s living room. Also, who better to escape into the woods and away from reality with than the founder of namjooning himself ((also also, that bit about Pennsylvania was 100% true. It’s wild here, man))

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“I cannot get comfortable for the life of me,” I huff grumpily.

It’s a Monday night, late in March. The threat of rain has been looming for hours. Despite its sudden absence in the forecast when I check the weather app, I can still feel it in my bones. In the raw, creaky way my joints scrape against each other. The way the inflammation in my body burns like fire ants beneath my skin.

Namjoon is quick to notice from across the room.

“This weather’s been making your body feel like hell this spring.”

“Yeah, I hate to begrudge it though. Winter was even worse.”

“Gosh, it really was huh?” He frowns at the laptop screen on his desk. He’s got the tiniest beanie shoved on his very big head but somehow, it works. The tips of his hair peak past the beanie’s brim, brushing the mussed hair of his furrowed eye brows. “God, I can’t stand to stare at a screen a second longer.”

He peels his gold rimmed glasses off his nose, rubbing the little indentions they've made along the bridge and pressing his fingers into his closed eye sockets. I can tell he’s exhausted and miserable too about how much energy life seems to require of him these days.

“I’m going to scoop you up and make you the most comfortable woman in the world, I promise. Just give me like three minutes.” He tips back in his desk chair, the spine of it sliding out to a wide reclined angle as his long legs stretch out in front of him.

“Why did we spend so much money on a couch that’s not even comfortable, joonie?” I whine, shifting once again.

“Because the last one was even less comfortable than this one,” he reminds me, “and at least this one is cognac leather,” he shrugs. “It’s comfy on the eyes at least”

“Well I need it to be comfy for my bones.” I grunt, shoving yet another throw pillow out of your way. “Maybe we should pick up and move to the shore, like in a regency novel. I think the air would be good for me. I wonder if American healthcare accepts existential dread and deep chronic pain as enough of a reason to just financially support us until I turn to dust.”

“You and your TikTok algorithm both know as well as I do that America will do no such thing,” Namjoon chuckles with his eyes closed.

“I know…. But they should take at least some culpability. God knows most of my health problems probably exist BECAUSE of them.” I slide the strap of my bra and shirt off my shoulder, not because I want to be a seductress but because the elastic is cutting into my throbbing right trap muscle and if I don’t get some of the tension off of it, I might scream.

“Right? Did you hear about the latex spill in the Delaware river yesterday? The entire city of Philadelphia doesn’t have usable drinking water right now. My friend there literally got a text message about it from the city strongly recommending every use bottled water only until

Further notice. One and a half million people woke up to that text Message! It’s insane.” Namjoon pulls his oversized hood up over his beanie as he looks up at the ceiling, ankles crossed beneath the desk.

“Lord, haven’t we lived through enough of this? I’m so tired, joonie.” I can hear how pitiful I sound. To his credit, he treats me just the same as when I sound intellectually astute and strong. I’ve always liked that about him.

“If the world is going to hell in a hand basket anyway, maybe we should look into a- moving internationally and b- signing up for a payment plan on one of those YouTube influencer mattresses,” Namjoon tips his head my way, and suddenly my heart feels a little more light.

“Ooo, the helix?“ I smile, for perhaps the first time tonight.

His dark eyes twinkle in the low evening lamplight.

“ I actually did some research and found one made out of avocados.”

“Is that as close as I can get now that my body has decided it’s allergic to Avos?”

Namjoon’s eyes crinkle as he laughs. “God, your body would find a way to betray you like that wouldn’t it?”

“It’s not my fault I’m too delicate for this world,” I shrug.

“I forget you were born inside a flower that protected you from the world with its petals until it bloomed, thumbelina.”

“If I could take a nap inside a peony right now, I’d do it in a heartbeat…. The pollen might be too much though.” I sigh.

“Come here,” Namjoon laughs, standing from his chair and extending his hand toward me.

“Where are you taking me?”

I slip my knuckles between his and knock against his shoulder with my head.

“To my bumblebee. Take you on a spin around the block” he winks.

“I’m surprised you didn’t say take a ride. It’s like the only lyric you use these days” I snicker, bumping the curve of my hip into his.

“You’re supposed to write what you know,” he shrugs.” It’s not my fault your hips are your area of expertise.”

He winks at me and god, if he took every piece of clothing off of me right now, I’d ride him in a heartbeat.

Shit. Knowing him, he can probably feel my response to him without even looking at me. Sure enough, he looks down, smiling until his dimples dip in his cheeks, and damn it, I’m so captivated by the focaccia dough dips in his face that I stumble into the corner of the wall. My hip catches and I yelp, more embarrassed than in pain.

“Shh, hey, I got you.”

That calm voice of his is so low right now as his palm curves around the dip in my hip that got nicked by the wall. I tip into his long, warm torso and let him guide me into the bedroom. I’m clearly too disoriented and agitated to make it here without careening into something else and frustrating myself, so I’m happy for the assistance. Besides, being scooped up in Namjoon’s substantial hands is never a bad place to be.

“Thanks, baby. I needed that.”

I press my temple into his chest, kiss his ribs. Marvel at the resistance of muscle I feel beneath his soft green shirt. I press my nose into the fabric and let the warmth of him calm me. His other hand strokes soft knuckles along my jaw. His touch is so light and sweet - I feel my shoulders drop as he does it.

“Pick me up?” I whisper, eyes lifting softly to look up at him from where I’m pressed into his chest.

His hands slide up my sides, palms pressed into my waist as he lifts me. The soft grunt he makes as my thighs wrap around his ribs makes something in my brain feel a little fuzzy. Life is better like this, I think. Our faces nuzzled cheek to cheekbone, his hands fitted beneath my thighs, mine trailing softly through the silky bits of his hair peeking out of the back of his beanie as my arms drape over his shoulders like fabric. I can feel the knot of tension in the middle of my spine begin to untie itself as I melt into him. God, I’m so happy he exists.

“Where would you like to go, princess?”

Namjoon kisses the top of my ear, and that fuzzy tingle in my brain is back.

“What are my options?”

I press my lips softly to his throat in light, meditative kisses. They’re more like delicate exhales. My tongue barely tips out to taste his skin. Just a touch. Just a taste. Sleepy and slow because that’s all I have the energy for. His eyelids do that hazy half flutter that tells me he likes it enough to pretend he doesn’t so that I’ll keep going. I smile as he gently tips his head to the side, as if waiting for my answer, but really he’s just giving me more room to access that spot behind his ear that likes my lips. Let’s humor the man.

“We could go to the bed, the shower, the bath…” he gasps a little on the last word, the ah sound coming out too airy as I gently mouth at his pulse point and his grip on my thighs gets tense. “Or there’s a ….counter right here.” His head tips toward the half bath in the hallway as his fingers dig into the meat of my legs.

When I look up to meet his eyes, they’ve gone serpentine. Deep and dark and heavy as he holds me close. I can feel how shallow his breathing is becoming and I smile, sleepy and soft as he watches me.

“Take me to bed, Joonie.”

He’s kissing me before I can even finish his name.

He tips the door open with one of his feet before squeezing us both through the threshold of it. With his eyes closed and his tongue between my lips, he’s bound to crash into something and he does. He thunks an elbow, I knock my head, but in seconds, he’s cradling it where I’ve bumped the wall, spilling “sorry, I’ve got you, sorry,” onto my tongue as he pulls me in closer.

The spell doesn’t break.

He’s big and he’s bulky but he’s careful with me as he lays me on the bed and climbs over me. His mouth doesn’t leave mine even as he peels off each piece of my clothing. His movements are slow, his touch tender as he does.

Namjoon has learned how to soothe my body when it’s alert like this. Knows the cool air feels refreshing and crisp when my skin is hot with pain and sensitivity so he gets me naked with a deft touch. He knows the feel of his skin is grounding for me so that soft green shirt of his hits the floor. Knows I love his hair so the beanie goes next. Knows I love the strength in his thighs so his shorts are next as he tugs my hips down beneath his to let me wrap my legs around his slim waist.

I'm so wrapped up in the warmth of him that I don’t realize he’s tugged my silk pillowcase beneath my head. It’s cool when my head falls back and I smile, toothy and wide, as his plush lips sink into my skin. He’s at my collarbone now, then the volume of my breasts. His breath is warm, the air is cool and his substantial hands grip me firm like dough he’s being careful with as he kneads.

His cock brushes against me between my legs and the bright feeling it sends sparkling through me makes my breathing stutter.

“Joonie,” I shiver, and I can feel him smile against my skin. See his eyes flash up at me in the dark.

“We do too much, baby.” He breathes, voice smoky and low like the dragon he is.

I don’t know what he means. My critical thinking is losing its sharpness as he suckles warm and soft at the dip of my ribs.

“Too much?” I can feel my brows crumpling, but his tongue is so warm on my stomach that my hands dig into his shoulders without my consent.

He reaches up to brush one hand over mine.

“Shhh, easy. We’re trying to relax you, not tense you up.”

He’s smiling. I can barely see him but I can feel him and I know his grin would only dissolve me deeper into the mattress.

“We do too much, we deal with too much. God, your skin is too motherfucking much,” he squeezes me, latches his soft mouth onto my waist and tugs at the skin. I can feel the bruise blooming there, but he’s off and on to the next before I can even get words out. “Your body is always trying to process all of it, but it’s too much. Let me take care of some of it- let me help.”

When His tongue slips between my legs, his strong hands push my legs wide, press them down when he feels me buckle. His breath is so warm, his mouth is so molten, his nose on my clit is so gentle- it all leaves my body in an exhale. Tension drops off like melted wax and I feel myself go supple in his palms as I let him do what he wants with me.

“There’s been so much chaos. So much to deal with. So much to do. I just want to run away from it all with you.”

His tongue is languid as it works on me. The rush of warmth undoes the aches in my body better than a hot bath ever has.

“Then let’s go, Joonie. Where do you want to go? I’ll follow you anywhere.” And I mean it. They’re not lusty rambles. They’re not hollow words. I’d follow him to the edge of the world.

He puts that plump mouth of his over my clit and the gentle way he slurps me up melts my bones into soup broth and clears my head.

“You’ll let me take you anywhere?”

He looks up at me, his mouth never leaving his post, working me slowly as he waits for my reply. His mouth is so wet, his eyes are so sharp and my body is just another piece of music he’s learned how to perfect. I nod, bottom lip bit between my teeth and relax as much as I can as he composes a symphony between my legs. His smile folds the crinkles around his eyes, and his aura flickers between lovingly soft and steadily authoritative as he doubles down, wrapping his arms around my legs to scoop my hips up into his face and pressing into me, deeper, faster, harder.

I arch up when he does, gasping as my shoulders lift up, my fingers twist in the bedspread, my jaw goes slack. He’s really doing a number on me and all I want to do is say thank you and let him continue.

He slides up my body then, one hand behind my head bringing my forehead to his as the other grips my hip with enough pressure to split it apart as he tips his cock inside me in a way I didn’t know I needed. The sound is squelchy and wet and he smiles as his nose bumps against mine.

“You’ll follow me?”

He sounds cocky in a way he hasn’t in a while and a little piece of me loves it. His hips are fluid as his cock rocks in and out of me. All I can do is nod wildly, disoriented as I clutch him close to me. My legs are folded up, feet along his hips for purchase with my knees butterflied wide. I’d laugh at how much I must look like a frog if this didn’t feel so good. He’s got a hand beneath my bum, lifting my hips off the bend and gliding his cock so deep into me that surely my organs are all shifting wide like the Red Sea to make room for him.

“Wherever you want to go,” I hum, arms falling slack. I’ve lost the energy to hold on to him, but he’s got me held up so precious and tight that we’re still more intertwined than two fibers of thread in a tight knit sweater. I’ve fused into him and now every breath is in tandem.

“I’m gonna take my girl away from here.”

His thumb brushes my bottom lip and I feel myself flush at his tenderness.

“Yeah?” My eyes are wide, following his. He hovers above me, furrowed face sculpted with intensity and aggression as his body works mine into ecstasy. I’ve really acquiesced to the fact that I’m nothing more than a soft lump of clay in his hands that he’s working with precision. I’ve always wanted to be a work of art.

He slips my breast into his mouth like a lychee jelly, moaning at the feel of me tightening around him when he does it. Pumping harder, faster, deeper, only to pull out and dip his long fingers into the mess he’s made. He slathers it over all my sensitive bits, caressing with finesse as sparklers crackle in my vision.

When He pulls me up and into him, my face is pressed between his pecs and god, I can’t keep it together. I kiss them furiously as he works, clutching onto his arms, dragging my fingers down his abs as he slides his glossy fingers over my clit like he’s casting a spell. I can’t breathe… I can’t breathe… I can’t….

But I can because I have to- Namjoon won’t ease up until he gives me the sweet oxytocin of release by his hands and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I dig deep and exhale slow and controlled, whimpering as he rockets past that orgasm to send me into preparing for the next one. He smirks like I’m his plaything and I comply with no resistance. I’ll have as many rounds as he gives me. I’m a big girl. I can handle- Oh!

At least, I thought I could handle anything. Naive me, I suppose.

I smile into the sheets when he tips me over onto all fours. He kisses my shoulders, kisses along my spine, brushing his thumbs on the folds on my hip, all tender and kind and syrupy sweet as the behemoth between his legs tips ever so slowly inside of me despite my incredible tightness, and I don’t know whether to breathe or scream so I press my face into the bedding and giggle like there’s something wrong with me.

“Take you somewhere quiet,” he slides in deeper. “With no noise,” he thrusts. “No news.” He thrusts. “Just nature.”

My chest feels tight with affection but my body feels limps like a rag doll as he pumps me silly. His gargantuan hands holding up my hips are the only thing keeping me from sliding off the bed and melting into the floorboards.

“Joonie, i’d- I’d love that,” soft puffs of air leave me with each fluid roll of his hips. The snap at the end of the graceful flourish knocks my skull a little loose but I don’t mind. Thinking so little is really quite nice.

“Take you for walks, lay with you in nature, fuck you like this in an outdoor bath tub while we watch the stars.”

His hand glides down my spine as he paints beautiful pictures with his words. My heart and my body don’t know which way is up.

“Escape all this chaos. At least for a little bit.” He smirks. I catch a glimpse of it as I look over my shoulder, reach back to hold his hand.

“I might never let you drag me back to the real world.” My smile is gooey, fond and so is his now. His dimples have come out - all his sincerity and heart on display, as his hips still even as he still fills me up.

“I can write poetry in the wild,” he shrugs. “My music would probably be better for it.”

He looks bashful and soft. The juxtaposition of his strong body and sweet face make me dip forward. He slides out of me, watching with confusion as I guide him to stand beside the bed.

When I flip onto my back, letting my head loll backwards off the bed in front of him, he arches a brow at me. I just chuckle and pull him forward by the back of his legs.

“Come here. I want to make my own music.”

I take the length of him into my mouth and he topples over, hands bracing on either side of me on the bed. He groans so sweet and low that I smile as I take him deep. His knees buckle when my nose tips softly against his balls as I suckle him slowly and it takes everything in me not to laugh at how happy I am.

His hands travel my body as his mouth occupies itself. He makes a meal of my breasts, takes a drink between my legs, holds my throat to lighten my breath. When we cum in tandem, he collapses to my side as we catch our breath in silence.

The night is still, the air is cool and rain is finally trickling against the windows.

Our bodies are spent and our plan is set.

We’ll run away soon enough.

But now, cradled breast to breast, we sleep knowing our world is just the smallest bit brighter.

Namjoon x Reader 

Word Count - 600 

SMUT 18+ SILVER HAIR DADDY JOON - forbidden sex

Keep reading

This hurts me to the core…I’m still not over loosing our sassy Duchess even after all these years. It hurts to think about her and she still visits me in my dreams …

In my to read list! Plot sounds promising!

the hate effect || knj || masterlist

Summary: Kim Namjoon has always been ambitious, even before he became an idol. He always wanted more for himself and didn’t mind giving up anything in order to achieve his dreams, even if it meant giving up on you too. But now, 10 years after debuting, the world-renowned idol has finally achieved everything he sought when he was young, but he couldn’t be emptier. Used to his new life where he has everything at his disposal and manages to reach higher and higher places, Namjoon has his usual life interrupted when Hybe hires a new staff, none other than his former youth love: you.

 ↬  pairing: idol!namjoon x staff!female reader 

↬ genre: series, haters to lovers (?), angst, fluff bits

↬ warnings: swearing, angst :)  

A/N: hello there! I’ve been thinking about a series with a lot of angst for a while now so I saw a perfect opportunity for that. Your feedback is always welcome and feel free to send me asks whenever you want. Hope you like it!

# teaser || Playlist

# archive 1

# archive 2

# archive 3 NEW

# chapter 4

# chapter 5

Reblogging cause I’m a sucker for arranged marriage tropes 😁

Currents

Author: @yeoldontknow​ Creative Content Contributor: @chillingkoo​ who made this utterly stunning banner for my birthday because she is an absolute angel ;~; Pairing: Seokjin x Reader (oc; female) Genre: arranged marriage au; angst; fluff; smut Rating: NC-17 Warning: explicit sex; explicit language Summary: Jin thinks he’s loved you since the moment he saw you, back when you were teenagers; Jin knows he’s been in love with you, the soul burning kind of love, since he saw you on your wedding day. He doesn’t mind that you don’t reciprocate on his level, he’s just happy to show you he cares. Until one day, he simply can’t anymore. Until one day, you realize you need to show him you care, too.  Word Count: 16,535

Two days after your fourteenth birthday, your parents agree it is time to tell you that you are engaged.

When they call you into the kitchen, you find they are sitting beside one another - closer than you have ever seen them - and a slow panic begins to course through your veins. In the past, death was the only thing that could bring them together, the fading of a life forcing them into closeness if only to seek comfort in another equally as empty.

Keep reading

One of my all time favorite!!! I keep re-reading this story because it’s just that good!

Reckless: Masterlist

Author: vyduan Pairing: Kim Namjoon | Reader, Jeon Jungkook | Reader Genre: angst, idolverse, friends to lovers, slow burn, canon compliant Word Count: 70,353 Rating: Explicit Warnings: Eventual explicit f/m sex, past child abuse (implied)

Reckless Masterlist [COMPLETE]: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | Epilogue | AO3

“Her” Series Masterlist For more of my fics, here is my Masterlist.

Summary: Namjoon walked into his cramped studio and found a person who was decidedly a lot smaller and prettier than any of his members curled up on the couch, fast asleep. At first, he thought the person was an overworked staff member trying to steal a quick nap — but upon closer examination, he realized it was you.

He briefly recalled his manager Sejin mentioning that you’d been using their studio while they’d been on tour — and that you would all eventually have to share the space due to limited real estate at the Big Hit offices.

You seemed younger than he remembered you being backstage at their Taipei concert back in March. Namjoon supposed that it was likely because you were currently barefaced, bundled under a giant padded jacket (the air conditioning was pretty high in the office), and — were you whimpering?

Notes: Thanks to @bangtanbeforebitches​, the “Her” series will follow the same Y/N with each BTS member.

You don’t need to read the other parts of this series in order to follow or understand this story. However, it might be fun to see what changes, and what stays the same. Thanks for humoring me!

Holy shit! This is fucking good!! More please!

Sanctity

Your ex-husband is at a wedding with you, and it feels like you don't exist. Part of the Love series, read the rest here.

Pairing: Namjoon x afab! reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: Exes, angst

Warnings: Swearing

When you were invited to this wedding, your university friend Soojin had told you that Namjoon was going to be best man.

Soojin’s groom, Alex, has been friends with Namjoon since childhood, so you weren’t surprised at all.

You’d texted Namjoon about the wedding but he hadn’t bothered to reply.

You’d assumed that he was busy, you’ve been slammed at work too, it’s always hectic in the runup to Christmas.

The wedding ceremony is in a 15th century chapel, tucked in the side streets of the very edges of the city, and the wedding celebration in a boutique hotel nearby.

You’re chatting to one of your old university friends at the drinks reception after the ceremony when Namjoon arrives.

He looks irresistible in his navy suit. Perfect. Unattainable.

He’s not alone.

He’s got a stunning woman on his arm, and they’re both laughing like she’s just said the funniest thing in the world.

Your ex-husband’s dimples flash, and he bends down solicitously, steadying her as her heel gets caught in her beautiful gown.

Their show of unity hits you like a kick in the chest.

Namjoon looks up, catches the stricken look on your face that you aren’t emotionally nimble enough to hide.

Your eyes lock.

A breath is all it takes before he turns away like he never saw you.

***

There’s a startling clarity to your feelings as you try your hardest to avoid your ex and his date at this small, intimate wedding.

You’re hurt.

Hurt that he didn’t bother to tell you he was bringing a date to this wedding.

Hurt that as much as you’re trying to avoid him, he seems to be just as keen to avoid you.

You know he’s been dating since the divorce, well, you both have.

You owe each other nothing.

You smile distractedly at the ex-classmate you’re struggling to find common ground with.

What’s his name?

Louis? Lewis? 

You’re too scattered to remember.

He’s telling you about his recent divorce, which is making you think about your own divorce.

Two years ago.

Have you and Namjoon really been fucking around for two whole years after the divorce was finalised?

Shit.

You can’t blame him for wanting to move on.

Louis steadies you as someone bumps into you from behind, jostling you.

There’s kindness in his eyes.

You force yourself to focus.

‘Divorce is hard,’ you say, a lame attempt at keeping the conversational ball going.

Louis, the gentleman that he is, says, ‘People who’ve been through it tell me it gets easier over time.’

‘I don’t know that it does,’ you say, the first truth you’ve spoken tonight.

Louis looks at you curiously, but you’re in no mood to extrapolate. 

You swallow the rest of your drink and excuse yourself to use the bathroom.

You don’t recognise yourself in the mirror, that’s the honest truth.

Sure, you’re wearing the clothes and jewellery you put on earlier today, and your hair is still how you styled it, but you look completely different.

You’re flustered and frazzled and anguished.

Worst of all, you’re a fool.

You add colour to your cheeks to hide how drained you look, top up your lipstick in a desperate attempt to fix your face, but you know it’s futile.

You emerge from the bathroom and realise everyone’s heading to their tables for the meal.

You check the table plan and head for your seat.

You force a smile for the vaguely familiar people at your table and are pulling your chair out when a hand lands next to yours on the back of the chair.

You follow the line of the arm, up to the shoulder, up the curl of hair just touching his collar, up to his face.

Min Yoongi.

‘Let me,’ he says, smiling at you politely.

He seats you, then sits in the chair next to yours.

‘I didn’t know you were coming to this wedding,’ you say.

The truth is, you’re grateful for his familiarity.

You don’t know Yoongi well, but he and Namjoon are close friends and he’d joined you for dinner a few times whilst you and Namjoon were still married.

‘I wasn’t sure I’d be able to make it back in time,’ Yoongi admits. ‘I wrapped up a project in Kowloon last night.’

You know Yoongi works for his family business.

‘Have you been busy lately?’ you ask.

Yoongi signals to the waiter, hands you a glass of white. 

‘No busier than usual,’ he says. ‘I think Namjoon’s been busy though.’

‘Yeah?’ you say, carefully neutral.

‘Seen much of him lately?’ Yoongi asks, taking a sip of his wine.

‘Not a lot,’ you say, truthfully.

‘Me either,’ Yoongi says.

You take another sip of wine.

‘So how come you’re at the singles table?’ you ask, trying to change the subject.

Yoongi rakes a hand through his hair.

 ‘No one will put up with me,’ he says, straightfaced.

‘I’m really taking one for the team, sitting next to you,’ you say, deadpan.

‘You definitely deserve extra dessert,’ Yoongi shoots back.

The laughter that bubbles out of you at his remark goes a long way towards easing the tension you’ve been feeling all night.

Yoongi smiles. His hand lands on the table, rings gleaming as he fiddles with the wedding favours scattered on the white linen.

‘I’m hungry,’ he tells you. ‘I hope the food’s good.’

You’re not sure you’ve got any appetite but you murmur in agreement anyway.

At least you can’t see Namjoon and his date from where you’re sitting.

Yoongi’s got a knack for filling in the blanks in the conversation, but even better, he doesn’t mind silence. 

His company carries you through the different courses so well you feel like you need to thank him. 

You’re about to, when a delicate tinkling fills the air. 

You turn around to see that it’s your ex-husband, standing, tall and handsome in his suit, especially now that his tie’s loosened a little. 

He’s holding up a glass of champagne. 

‘I hope you’ve enjoyed your meals everyone. As Alex’s best man, I’ll be guiding through the speeches this evening,’ he says, smooth, confident, charming. 

He’s always been good at commanding a room. 

You feel disconnected, numb as Namjoon introduces Alex’s father, Soojin’s father, Soojin’s maid of honour for their speeches, applauding mechanically. 

You don’t take in a single word any of them have said. 

Through it all, Namjoon provides a charming, easy commentary, until it’s time for his own speech. 

‘I’ve known Alex since we were kids,’ Namjoon says, ‘and believe me, there are stories that I could tell, but I did promise that I wasn’t going to embarrass him in front of his nonna.’ 

There’s a ripple of laughter. 

You’re transfixed. 

You’re trying to remember when you last heard Namjoon speak like this. 

All of your interactions for years have been snappy, impactful, sexy, but he hasn’t sounded like this in years. 

He sounds relaxed, confident. 

Happy. 

You sit rigidly as Namjoon shares an anecdote, to the hilarity of the room. 

It’s the final part of his speech that breaks you. 

‘I can truly say that I’ve never seen a couple more perfectly matched than Soojin and Alex. I can only hope that all of us have the privilege of experiencing a love like theirs at one point in our lives.’ 

You can’t help yourself. 

You’re staring at him, wondering if he can feel your gaze on him. 

Namjoon raises his glass in a toast. 

There’s a sigh from the room, followed by a wave of applause. 

It’s the perfect ending to the speeches. 

Namjoon never once glances your way. 

****

You don’t stay for dancing, just exit as quietly and discreetly as you can. 

You slip on the beautiful coat you bought just for this wedding, do up the buttons mechanically. 

Head out the entrance, sighing with relief when the front of the hotel is empty, save for you. 

Well, not quite. 

There’s a shifting to your left, you turn just in time to see Yoongi straighten up, ice cubes clinking in his glass as he steps forward, out of the shadows. 

‘I didn’t mean to startle you,’ he says mildly. 

‘You didn’t,’ you reply. ‘I’ve got an early start tomorrow, I should get going.’ 

Yoongi nods. ‘Can I give you a ride?’ 

‘I’ve got a taxi on its way,’ you demur. ‘Besides, I don’t want you to have to leave because of me.’ 

Yoongi nods again.

Then he gives you a half-smile. ‘Want the rest of my drink?’ 

You glance at him, surprised. 

He holds out the drink to you. 

The whiskey goes down smooth, a mellow fire that warms you. 

‘Thanks,’ you say. You put your hand on his arm as he takes the glass back. ‘Thanks for tonight.’ 

Your words brim with meaning, you don’t want to explain but you get the sense he knows, anyway. 

He’s been friends with Namjoon for years. 

There’s kindness in his eyes as he covers your hand with his, gives yours a gentle squeeze. 

The sliding doors to the hotel slide open, but your taxi’s arrived, so you don’t look back. 

You get into the cab and breathe the first breath you feel like you’ve taken in hours. 

You turn your head to wave goodbye to Yoongi, only to see Namjoon standing next to him. 

Your eyes meet for the briefest of moments before the taxi drives you away. 

©hamsterclaw 2023