Dick: So Yeah, It Really Pisses Jason Off, Which Is My Main Motivation, -- But I Did Sign Bruce Up For

Justice League Moments Caught on Live Television (part 2)

Superman: Say it.

Batman: No.

Superman: SAY IT.

Batman: *mumbles too softly to be heard*

Superman: Can’t hear you.

Batman: You have superhearing, Superman.

Superman: I can wait as long as it takes.

Batman:

Batman, just loudly enough for the microphone to pick it up: You’re my best friend.

Superman: *is beaming*

Batman: Can we finish the fight NOW?

Superman: After you………bestie.

Batman: *long, drawn-out sigh*

Superman: ☺️

—————

Aquaman: Stop calling me a fish.

Green Lantern: Okay, but TECHNICALLY…

—————

Martian Manhunter: *sitting there in serene silence*

Constantine: *also just sitting there albeit not quite as serenely*

Martian Manhunter:

Constantine:

Martian Manhunter:

Constantine:

Captain Marvel: Would you two cut it OUT already? I can’t take much more of this.

—————

Flash: Wait, what’s Batman running away from?

Black Canary, watching Batman take off in the batplane: His feelings.

Flash: Oh, okay. Yeah, that tracks.

—————

Green Arrow: No, you don’t get it. I can’t retire, Arsenal called me old.

—————

Green Lantern: This is the fourth time this week.

Flash: No wonder Batman’s so annoyed.

Green Lantern: If I try really hard I bet I can make it five.

—————

Wonder Woman: I leave for FIVE minutes.

—————

Green Arrow: I’m just saying, I’m not sharing grandkids with Batman.

—————

Superman: Ope, sorry, let me just…

Martian Manhunter: Your continued success is a mystery to me.

Superman: Oh yeah, Batman hates it.

—————

Flash: This is the WORST timeline.

—————

Superman: Maybe we should call Nightwing.

Batman: We do NOT need to call Nightwing.

—————

Black Canary: *long, long sigh*

—————

Green Lantern: YOU go deal with it.

Constantine: You do realize Batman’s children are not actually demons, right?

—————

Batman: *laughing*

Zatanna: Did Flash break the timeline again or something?

—————

Constantine: On three?

Zatanna: Rock, Paper, Scissors, GO.

Constantine:

Constantine: Dammit.

—————

Green Arrow: Stop calling Batman’s kids for backup. Yesterday Red Hood laughed at me for twenty minutes straight.

—————

Aquaman: Do I look like I know where Montana is?

—————

Captain Marvel: Come on, I don’t need vegetables.

Flash: A half cup of broccoli is not going to kill you.

Captain Marvel: You don’t know that.

Flash: You don’t know that it will.

Captain Marvel: It might.

Flash: Science experiment?

Green Lantern: We can’t do experiments that may result in death though, remember? Batman put it in the rules.

Flash: You’re just as bad, you know that?

Green Lantern: I have enough green in my name I don’t need it in my food too.

(Part 1)

What are the weirdest things Jason stole from the Batcave?

Kryptonite

The bat-plane's landing gear

The Discowing suit

A 5-foot-tall painting of Titus as a revolutionary hero

The Batcomputer's hard drive

Duke's sandwich

50 gallons of kerosene

Roy's trick arrows that Bruce confiscated

The dinosaur

The giant penny

An industrial sandblaster

The Batmobile's tires

Cass's pre-workout snacks

The ice cream Bernard left in the fridge for Tim

The bat-canoe

Black Mask's full criminal record

His own autopsy report

Bat-Cow

Humpty Dumpty slander

modern au: every gang party is pure anarchy, but the aftermath is so much worse.

-javiers asleep…in the bathtub…with water in it…completely clothed.

-someone played sia and now karens in the hospital with two broken legs and a fractured arm because she wanted to “swing from the chandelieeeeer”. had it not been for charles, she wouldve been left there.

-johns all over tiktok and instagram reels for his…”pole dancing”. he made bank though.

-micah chugged a redbull monster protein powder mix and is already out of the house.

-jack is asleep under bills coat on a sofa somewhere.

-bill is surrounded by beer cans in a corner. hes just exhausted from the effort of throwing mr pearson out of the window.

-lenny is wrapped up in an irish flag in the garden, covered in vomit, bloodshot eyes and snoring like hell. the phrase “no balls” has earned him several cuts and bruises, 9 million likes on tiktok, and a deep sense of shame and embarrassment waiting to attack him as soon as hes sober.

-tilly made it back to bed, thanks to mary-beth.

-abigail and molly are both knocked out in dutch’s bed after jumping susan then hiding there.

-reverend brought the real fun (iykyk)

-strauss hjacked the dj booth and played some bangers. it didnt matter the lyrics were in german, everyone still went crazy.

-uncle slept through the entire thing.

-sean is on the floor of mary-beth’s room violently breathing through his mouth as he sleeps because his nose is so stuffed. why? he snorted ‘something’ and then snorted davey’s ashes (lennys fault). he also fell down the stairs, mixed an insane amount of alcohols together, started to flirt with inanimate objects after loosing track of lenny, vomited on everyone and everything, graffitied up the ra on the walls and on trelawny. awful idea considering trelawny owns the hideout.

-dutch and hosea? currently on their way back to their state after arthur got himself arrested 16 hours away.(how arthur. how.)

a collection

Hey giys this will be the last post i make from this account. Unfourtanatly i am getting a new phone and i dont have any logins for this account as it was linked to my old email adress i no longer have access to. I will be making a new account when the new phone is set up and will reblog this so you can find my new blog. xx

bye to a real one… add your favourite smash mouth tweet

Another chapter of my "The Waynes on Twitter" work on AO3

Masterlist of Tweets

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28 - Human Disaster Bruce Wayne

Who is gonna tell him?

Clark: we're going to need someone to scare them. Wally stay out of this.

Wally: me? Why me!?

Diana: you're too nice Wally.

Bruce: just like Barry.

Wally: first of all, Uncle Barry beat the crap out of my dad beating the crap out of me. Lastly I'm dating your son, and Roy, best friends with Donna and Garth and you don't think that they rubbed off on me?

League: no.

Oliver: speedsters are just too nice.

Wally: yeah and you're incompetent you need a canary to take care of you.

Oliver: *gasp* you take that back!

Wally: then get off her lap.

Oliver, hugging Dinah: no, fuck off kid.

Bruce: hey that's uncalled for.

Wally: so was keeping Joker alive after he killed your son. Keep that silver spoon in your mouth and shut up before I spill secrets that they don't know about. Like, for example Agent A's favorite rug.

Bruce:

Clark: I apologize for thinking you're not scary, please take care of Lex.

Wally: you're forgiven, I'll have that man shaking in his boots.

Oliver: yeah, go pick on that man you monster...

Dinah: it's okay, that big scary Wally is gone.

Hal: all of you thought I was lying saying Barry can be scary. He created that little monster.

Diana: I wished I could have seen that.

Hour later

Wally, open the door: fuck you and the horse you rode in on lameass. *Slammed the door* he's crying and ready to plead for his crimes and step down as president.

Diana: well done, Wally.

Rest of the team except Clark: *shudder in fear*

Clark: dang, he really said fuck his mom too... Low blow.