My Head Hurts (from Being Sick) And Is Also Telling Me To Do Certain Things

current mood is wanting to fucking cry, scream, and rip my skin apart and hair out but actually I'm just sitting doom scrolling or watching youtube letting these feelings sit because you just don't have the will to do any of those things.

that sounds so bad. im sorry I just want a place to bee without having a feeling of constantly being watched and perceived. I'm sorry I just want a place to ramble and vent and whatever. oh god I feel bad I'm bad I'm bad I'm a liar i feel like a liar

genuinely want a skateboard and learn how to to do but like, I'm too fat and out of shape for that.

i love my boyfriend but I can't stand the thought of being perceived or seen currently. I deleted the photos I sent him last night this morning cause I couldn't stand it.

is it safe to take like.. 8 year old dietary pills you found in a drawer? they've never been opened before and im considering it..

also, they're huge. wtf.

feeling like blocking everyone but that just feels like too much of a hassle and questions to answer so I'm just going to go off the grid again without telling anyone

My ideal body is covered in scars but apparently that’s not an acceptable body goal

we are all born to die right? so is it wrong of me to speed up the process?

I swear so much has happened these last 3 days that nothing feels real, and it's not even bad stuff, just very eventful days and it's leaving me very floaty and confused

it feels like I haven't stopped to take a break or take in anything fully

dropping off the Internet again (not posting or responding to anyone for probably a week again) and debate suicide