Why Are We Okay Recently. Well, Not Okay, But Neutral. I'm Not Overly Suicidal Or Depressed Or Anything

i love my boyfriend but I can't stand the thought of being perceived or seen currently. I deleted the photos I sent him last night this morning cause I couldn't stand it.

One day everyone will think I’m just offline for awhile but I’ll be gone

i can't get you to understand a single bit. so why bother trying, why dont I just leave again, and not temporarily this time.

wonder why I don't have the energy or motivation to finish my school work. tired of teachers getting upset.

my teachers wouldn't understand or go easy even if I told them anything.

sorry I can't get the will to finish and turn things in. sorry I'm falling behind. sorry my grades just get worse each year. sorry I don't give a shit about anything.

“whats your plan b?” - suicide

I try to listen to his favorite artist (citizen soldier) and I jus can't. i just can't. i can't listen to music like that without getting pissed off, cringing, or like I'm gonna throw up. i love my bf but I hate that artist.

“I love you.”

No you don't.

"ill need your essay by 3:15 or you'll have to spend time after"

fuck off fuck off fuck off I leave at 130 you cant make me stay. you can wait until fucking midnight when I turn it in. you can fucking wait.

can I really call this crying? when all that happens is my eyes well up with water and only one or two tears fall and they don't even make it far before it stops.