Currently Thinking About Seungmin Using A Vibrator On You While You’re Both Trying To Study To Test

Someone requested leeknow twt links could you do one for hyunjin? :)

As long as I get a thank you<3 /jk :0

Hyunjin Links (18+)

Hyunjin moaning while fucking you<3 (seriously one of the hottest things I've heard)

Hyunjin giving y/n backshots in her apartment:0

Hyunjin fingering your other hole while you ride him

Riding Hyunjin with his favorite satin PJ shorts of yours.

Let me tell you... Hyunjin Links are so hard to find 🫣 Also let me tell you how easy it is to get distracted when this is the content i post😗

Hyunjin: What brings you over?

Seungmin: Just here to visit the elderly. Hey Chan.

Chan: Hello Seungmin.

Seungmin: Did you have your daily pudding today grandpa!

Chan: Why are you yelling?

Seungmin: So you can hear me. The dementia is getting to him.

Chan: Goodbye Seungmin.

Seungmin: I have to go anyway, Jeongin did shrooms, and he's in his closet hiding from a Giant Butterfly.

Chan: What?! Why aren't you with him right now?!

Seungmin: He's fine Minho is there. He also did shrooms. If I'm honest he might be the giant butterfly. He's naked and flying around with a blanket.

Chan: Where's Felix?

Seungmin: He's there. Also on shrooms. He's been on the phone with a Hedgehog for an hour. They're in a relationship.

Chan: Seungmin go back and watch them. Unless...

Seungmin: Yes, I am also on shrooms but I'm not weak minded. Anyway me and Dave have to go.

Chan: Who's Dave?

Seungmin: Banana Dave. The six foot banana who's afraid of Felix.

Hyunjin: No fair! They get to do hallucinogenic drugs over there?

This series pained me and brought me immense joy at the exact same time because I know I'll never read anything like this again. The way you know exactly what you're writing about makes it so wonderful to read. I felt so many emotions reading this but I'm so glad I took 3 hours out if my sleep schedule to. Just wow I'm so blown away by how confident your writing feels. Everything about this is perfect. Flawless ❤️

THE ZONE: Chapter 6

« PREVIOUS CHAPTER

“Maybe I don’t believe in soulmates, prince.”

Chapter 6: Have We Met Before? (Reprise)

[Series Finale]

🚨 Angst, alcohol consumption, themes of emotional manipulation, narcissism, revenge and retaliation, emotional turmoil, microscopic dom/sub elements, unprotected sex, oral sex, vaginal fingering, facesitting, temperature play/ice play, creampie, cumplay/cum eating, squirting

Taglist: @sai-kida134 ; @lolalee24 ; @choxcosmos ; @ughbehavior ; @anotherpinkpanda ; @mochaquokka ; @svintsandghosts

I STRONGLY urge you to loop this song in the background while reading this chapter.

“Can you get the door, baby girl?”

It was finally the first day of the spring break and everybody you knew was fucking spent because of the exam stress. Chris made it a habit to organize an annual party at his place to blow off some steam and it always ended up having hilarious stories somewhere along the way. God knows you were in dire need to unwind yourself. The guests were arriving in groups and it already looked like Chris’ entire building was in his living room because, hello, if Chris Bang was throwing a party you’d better goddamn cancel your entire life plans to be there. You made your way to the door.

You knew these girls, but you hadn’t officially met before. If you blurted out their names, it was totally going to come across as stalkerish, so you managed to pump the emergency breaks and assumed the pleasant host role.

“Welcome! Very nice meeting you, I’m Y/N.”

“Hey there, Y/N! It’s great to finally meet you.”

“Excuse me?” you smiled in surprise.

“It feels like we know you already. I’m Ryujin, by the way, and this is Chaeryeong.”

“Please, call me Chae!” she chirped, “Oh, and DON’T close the door yet, please.”

Someone else on the outside stopped the door from closing at the last second and held onto the door frame, panting.

“Made it. I fucking made it. Hey, beautiful!”

“No fucking way…”

The prince. Looking all normal and shit. At Chris’ doorstep. Super out of breath like he ran a mile. In the flesh. It had been quite a while since the last you had heard about him and got worried sick in the meantime. And now he had the fucking audacity to just show up and ‘Hey, beautiful’ you like nothing happened?

Like nothing fucking HAPPENED?

You took a step towards him and your utterly calm voice was terrifying.

“You…”

“I’m so sorry, I w-”

One more step and you nudged him on the chest, pushing him back to the hallway and slowly closing the door behind you.

“You… fucking idiot.”

“I- I can-”

One more step.

“Do you have any idea…?”

One more.

“...about the fucking concern you caused me?”

“Beautiful, I’m so s-”

One more step.

“You… absolute fucking dipshit.”

One more.

“I couldn’t fucking SLEEP because of you.”

One more.

“Now you just show up here…”

One more.

“And you say hey?”

One last push.

“YOU SAY FUCKING H-?!”

You couldn’t even finish that sentence.

Hyunjin attacked your face with aggressive kisses like he was trying to quench his thirst. So needy, so full of yearning, so full of lust. So full of him. Like he was trying to pacify you. Not until you felt his familiar texture on your skin did you realize how much you missed him. 

“God, I missed you so fucking much, beautiful.”

There were a lot of things that needed to be answered, but priorities mattered. His vanilla scent came first. His plush lips came first. Burning yourself on his skin came first. You let each other be consumed for quite some time out on that hallway before getting a grip and heading inside, completely forgetting what you were supposed to talk about. Hyunjin had his hand on the small of your back, and now that you completed the attendance check, Chris welcomed the guests from the kitchen island:

“Ladies, gentlemen, and esteemed non-binary folk, welcome to the annual Shitfaced Break Olympics™ because FUCK midterms!”

“FUCK MIDTERMS!!!!!” the crowd roared in response.

While coming back from Sydney last summer, Chris brought back a game that looked like the raunchiest version of Cranium that ever existed a.k.a the main tournament event for this year’s olympics. It was basically a drinking board game intended for eight people maximum for one round, and it involved a bunch of truth or dare prompts. The game did not give you the option to pick a category; whatever you landed on, you had to do it. The punishment of the game was the gigantic glass with measurement lines in the middle of the board: with each dice roll, everybody had to pour 5 ml of whatever they were drinking into the glass. Either when somebody failed to fulfill a prompt, or when the glass was full - whichever happened first - you had to drink that spawn of satan cocktail. If you couldn’t do it, your team lost the game. Your tournament parties involved you, Chris, his brother Felix, and Jeongyeon versus Ryujin, Chae, Hyunjin, and their friend Jisung. You were a little uncomfortable with Chae and Ryujin there considering the circumstances but did your utmost best to loosen up.

Jisung picked a card for Jeongyeon, “Name of your first head?”

“Giving or receiving?”

“Giving,” Jisung smirked.

“Uh- Whatshisname.”

“BITCH, drink!”

“But I DON’T remember his name!”

“DRINK, DRINK, DRINK!”

With cheers accompanying her, Jeongyeon’s face automatically contorted the second her tongue touched that blasphemy in the glass, “I fucking HATE y’all!”

You picked a card for Jisung, “Take off your shirt for the rest of the game.”

“Gladly,” Jisung declared and a collective oohing raised from the entire room when he flashed those biceps.

“Jesus fuck, man, your waist is like nonexistent, how the FUCK?” Felix’s jaw dropped upon seeing Jisung’s bare upper body.

“Feel free to cop a feel of the Jaist anytime,” Jisung winked and Felix legit reached out to touch him.

“GODDAMN Lix, I didn’t call you here to get corrupted!” Chris yelled.

“Too late for that, bRAH.”

Among that unison laughter, Ryujin picked a card for you, “Let the person sitting 45 degrees to the right from you touch your boobs. Under the shirt,” and she immediately placed the card in the middle of the deck.

You cocked a brow, “It really says that?”

“Yes,” Ryujin responded with a knowing smile, “Either do it, or drink. The floor is yours, Hyun.”

Hyunjin got up to get closer to you. The second you reached the hem of your shirt to pull it up, however, he grabbed your hand to stop you and pulled you in from your nape for a kiss. The entire table broke into an applause.

“A fine gentleman, indeed,” said Chris. “Now drink, you motherfucker.”

“No regrets,” Hyunjin responded and raised the glass towards you before downing it. While he was struggling to do that, Chris picked a card for him.

“The name of your most recent ex?”

Hyunjin put the glass where it belonged and answered towards Chris’ direction.

“Yeji.”

It was apparent that everyone in that table was completely flabbergasted by this declaration. Except Chae and Ryujin.

They broke up? They actually broke up?

“Look what the cat dragged in.”

Hyunjin was sitting down in Yeji’s kitchen in silence for the past half an hour or so. Yeji’s sister let him in and left upon Hyunjin’s polite request that he needed to be alone with Yeji.

“Wanted to chat a little. Coffee?” Hyunjin pointed at the fresh pot he brewed.

“Sure. Before that though,” Yeji flashed a little vial with white powdery substance in it, put it in Hyunjin’s chest pocket, and placed a kiss on his head, “happy belated birthday, handsome. I’ll be right back.”

After Yeji came back in changed clothes, it was their usual empty chitchat as if they actually cared about each other. How school was, what their folks were doing, were they going to attend that dinner on the weekend et cetera et cetera. Everything was fine. Until Hyunjin made his declaration.

“It’d be ideal if you looked for a date for the weekend because I won’t be taking you.”

“Party somewhere?” Yeji took a sip from her mug.

“No. I came here today to break up.”

Yeji’s shock was momentary. She broke into a hysterical laugh once her brain registered what came out of Hyunjin’s mouth. She found that so hilarious that she was slapping her own thighs at one point.

“Good one, Hyun. Absolutely not.”

“Look at my face and tell me if I look like I’m trying to be funny, Yeji.”

Yeji wiped the tears from her eyes and examined Hyunjin’s face. His expressionless, stoic face.

“If you think there’s not gonna be any repercussions after this, you’re fucking mistaken.”

Hyunjin calmly finished his coffee and got up to his feet, “I’m not asking for your permission. I’m telling you. We’re through.”

Then he left leaving Yeji utterly speechless. This was the first time he misbehaved after all those years.

It was only a couple of days later, though, Hyunjin found himself storming back in through Yeji’s front door. Fuming. Completely out of control. Like he was about to go on a fucking rampage.

“Missed me already?”

Hyunjin slammed the door behind him and glared at Yeji with all the menace he could possibly emit from his eyes.

“You fucking know I’m on prescription drugs. Why did you do it?”

“And? Don’t you think your father has a right to know what his precious son is doing with his life?”

Hyunjin landed a punch on the wall, almost breaking the surface in.

“Not that it’s ANY of your business, but if I’m NOT telling my OWN fucking family something, maybe it’s because I don’t wanna GODDAMN worry them. WHAT KIND OF AN EXPLANATION IS ‘YOUR SON IS ON DRUGS, I THOUGHT YOU SHOUD KNOW’??????”

Yeji broke into a satisfied smile as Hyunjin was angrily pacing in the room trying his utmost best to control himself.

“I know you think you’re all that and you’re the queen but there are lines that should never be crossed, Yeji.”

“If I’m the queen, that makes you the king. You ever thought of that?” she responded calmly. Hyunjin stopped dead in his tracks.

“Maybe I’d like to be a prince instead. If you ever fucking asked me what I wanted, you would goddamn know.”

“What the fuck has gotten into you?”

Hyunjin took quick steps towards her direction and pointed his index finger towards her.

“I’m trying really hard to be able to live with myself and do something fucking right for once. Stay away from me.”

Yeji immediately grabbed Hyunjin by the arm when he attempted to leave, “You belong to me, Hyunjin.”

“Really?” he turned around, completely outraged, “Fucking enlighten me, please.”

“It’s always been us!” Yeji yelled. “You wanna go have fun on your own? Fine, I’m not stopping you. I’ve never stopped you and I’m not about to. But at the end of the day, this is where you’re supposed to come back. You know it is.”

Hyunjin couldn’t believe it when the realization hit him. All this time he could have done it without getting blood on his hands but fucking cholera vision… He wasn’t about to lie: once you lovingly cut through his scars to force all the venom and puss to leave his body, he did experience side effects first. Hyunjin just wasn’t aware of how addictions worked. Everything was about to be okay if he could endure the initial withdrawal. 

He just didn’t wanna live like this anymore.

And this was about to get ugly.

“You didn’t even say we belong together.”

The usually intrepid Hwang Yeji was getting all flustered and it showed.

“You know what I mean, Hyun.”

“You did it once before. What’s stopping you from letting me go this time?”

Yeji looked at Hyunjin’s face to throw some snark, but she actually wished he would interject so that she didn’t have to think. Words were spectacularly failing her. Hyunjin took a step towards her.

“Because you know I’m calling your bluff.”

One more step.

“Because you know that I know better now.”

One more.

“Because deep down you know I’m not gonna come back this time around.”

And one more.

“Because you know that it finally fucking hit me that belongingness is not equal to ownership.”

“Hyunjin, look-”

“I deserve to be loved too, Yeji. Did that ever occur to you?”

Yeji was frustrated at this point, “But I do love you!”

“NO, YOU DON'T!” Hyunjin exclaimed. “YOU love the guy who plays mind games with people and fucking wins. You LOVE it when people yearn for the shiny thing in the room and you love how they fucking CRUMBLE when you show off that it’s yours. You get off on rubbing it on people’s faces that they CAN’T have it. Insert anybody else, anything else in the equation and it would still equal to the same goddamn thing. I’m just a proxy for you.”

There was an unfamiliar expression on Hyunjin’s face. It looked like a bizarre metamorphosis of anger into sadness.

“Maybe it’s not the fact that I need to be loved although I’m fucked in the head.”

Hyunjin took a deep breath mixed with a sob before he continued.

“Maybe I need to be loved because of it. Let go.”

“No.”

“I said let go.”

Hyunjin hadn’t calculated anything beforehand the day he wanted to cut this weird tether he had to Yeji. He just wanted to simply punctuate everything with a full stop, but Yeji was insisting on replacing every single attempt with semicolons and ellipses, which meant peace was not an option and she wanted problems. It would be fine and it would be a fair fight if it was just the two of them, but dragging his father into all this?

Hwang Hyunjin finally fucking snapped.

“Listen to me and listen to me well. I’m only going to say it once,” he spoke in the only language she seemed to have a proficiency in.

“As we both know, I know the actual reason why you’re not strutting your stuff on the digital realm even though you’re dying to. I know it fucking kills you. There’s nothing… absolutely nothing stopping me from letting a little bird tell on the kind of shit your father runs in his business. But as I’ve clearly said before, there are lines that are never meant to be crossed. That being said, if you insist on what you absolutely should not, I will not hesitate to ruin your fucking  life. You’ve known me all these years and you know me too damn well to be able to tell when I pass the limits of bluffing.”

Yeji froze. As much as she would like to delude herself into thinking otherwise, Hyunjin was dead serious.

“Try me, I fucking dare you. See if it will be worth it.”

Hyunjin walked towards the front door to never come back again. It didn’t have to be this way. It could have been much more amicable, much less violent. Instead of being seen off, he heard one last complaint from Yeji.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you haven’t called me beautiful in months.”

Hyunjin shrugged in response before letting himself out of that house for good, “Maybe you’re just not that beautiful.”

Towards the end of the night, you walked out the balcony to get some fresh air. All this time you had this one desire that was buried kilometers under your soul, but you had convinced yourself it was nothing more than mere wishful thinking. Although it presented itself in corporal form, threatening you that you could indeed have it, you were dead scared. None of it felt real.

“Room for some friends?”

Ryujin and Chaeryeong let themselves out on the balcony while you nodded. Chae placed her hand on your shoulder gently.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” you creased your brows like you felt a headache coming on, “That was just um… A lot to process.”

“But it’s true,” Ryujin smiled. “I know you’re looking for something suspicious somewhere, but no one’s trying to set you up.”

“Even a guy like him deserves happiness if he’s that willing to turn things around, you know,” Chae tilted her head to look at you, “God knows he’s paying his dues.”

“Make no mistake, with massive number of installments yet to be fulfilled,” Ryujin highfived Chae, and the gesture made you chuckle.

You couldn’t believe how... nice these girls were being. The complete opposite of that scathing first encounter with The Prince and The Charmer.

“I’m so sorry. It’s just-” you stuttered, “Because of Hyunjin and Minho- I thought- I thought you would-“

“Also have egos the size of Mount Everest? Hard pass, girl.”

“HOW ARE YOU THIS SWEET AND STILL FRIENDS WITH THEM?”

The girls heartily laughed at your unfiltered exclamation, and Ryujin responded, “To each his own. Their life choices don't erase the memories we have shared together. We just abstain from the intense drama whenever we can, that’s all. It doesn’t change the fact that we truly want them to be happy.”

“And Hyun will be if you’re willing to indulge him,” Chae placed the stray hair clinging to your cheek behind your ear, “All I’m gonna say is maybe you shouldn’t think of this as being his new Yeji. It’s just being his Y/N. Something to think about.”

You wanted to say so much but the fear of sounding infinitely nonsensical was there. You replied with a smile instead and you three made your way back inside. You sat down on the floor in front of the couch where Hyunjin and Chris were talking.

“...so yeah, it’s tense in the Hwang household nowadays,” Hyunjin told him. Chris threw his arm around Hyunjin and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Why don’t you crash here for a couple of days, Hyun? I have a spare room.”

Hyunjin’s eyes darted at you upon the offer, but there wasn’t even the insinuation of something lewd in his gaze. He just looked at you like a puppy.

“I um- I have a favor to ask, beautiful.”

And for the first time ever, you knew he wasn’t going to ask to play with you.

“What is it?”

“Can you…” Hyunjin averted his eyes, “Can you stay here, too? If Chris is okay with it?”

You looked at Chris for some kind of a signal and he nodded with a smile.

“Of course, prince.”

And the relief that washed over Hyunjin’s face afterwards forcing him to beam was totally worth it.

You spent a couple of days being disgustingly domestic at Chris’ apartment with people coming and going every once in a while. It didn’t always include booze. Some days were just straight up regular, movie nights or just rambling with friends. You couldn’t help but notice the shadows that passed by Hyunjin’s face every now and then. He would sometimes briefly disappear to the balcony or go for a walk to recollect his thoughts. You didn’t take offense to that, though. You were being careful to not bring up any subjects yourself until he felt comfortable enough to talk about them with you.

“Is someone crying?” Jeongyeon turned her head towards the bathroom.

You perked up your ears to pick up on what Jeongyeon was referring to. You heard sniffling sounds coming from the bathroom and Hyunjin was gone. You instinctively jumped from your seat and walked into the bathroom, not having an ounce of decency to consider knocking first.

The prince. Looking all disoriented and shit. At Chris’ bathroom sink. Holding a vial with some white powdery substance in it between his long fingers. Tears running down his face.

He was doing so fucking well up till that moment.

‘Why this, prince?’ you thought to yourself.

‘Why fucking this out of everything?’

It started the second Hyunjin was coincidentally reminded of its existence while he was looking for his credit card in his jacket pockets.

For the first time ever in his life, Hyunjin felt like he didn’t have a safety net. No Plan B. Which made the dread of messing up his only shot all the more real. It seemed like his meds were starting to wear off; he was feeling constantly on edge. Your existence was massively helping, but how he wished you also possessed the skill to silence the voices in his head, constantly whispering him things. That he was gonna fail. That you were gonna leave. That he was a terrible friend. That he could never make his parents proud in whatever goddamn capacity.

Whenever he felt the onset coming on, Hyunjin would leave. For some fresh air, for a little walk to distract himself. He didn’t want you to see him like that. You didn’t deserve that see him like that. A complete dumpster fire of an inner demon forcing him to yield and get on his knees, tempting him with sweet reminders that he knew the way to soundproofing his own brain. 

He made his way to the bathroom, closed the door behind him, and reached for the vial containing his bootleg limitless catalyst. Just once. There was no harm in once.

Very rarely. There has to be a cause for celebration.

And what the FUCK was there to celebrate? His endless descent into darkness? How he was completely undeserving of a single drop of happiness because all he did was cause pain to everyone around him?

Hyunjin broke down crying, eyes still glued to the vial.

It wasn’t worth it. It was never gonna be worth it. It was time to man the fuck up for goddamn once and take the road less traveled. And experience that struggle in every single one of his cells. Revel in that pain so that the gain might be even greater. For himself. For you. For the both of you.

The door opened.

I’m not, Hyunjin wanted to scream out, but it felt like he swallowed his own tongue.

It’s not what it looks like, beautiful. I swear I’m not. Please!

Your voice came out so calm that you were in complete disbelief in your own self.

“Is there something you wanna tell me, prince?” you closed the door behind you.

Having done this way too many times than he cared to admit, Hyunjin knew what that sentence meant. That impending confrontation which may or may not result in a complete disaster. But this wasn’t a situation of the defense taking the stand. He was going to lay everything out in such clear terms that there wasn’t going to be any room for doubt.

At least that was what he initially set out to do.

But with Hyunjin’s severe disability to follow his own track of thought at that moment, it instantly devolved into something completely irrelevant since, for some reason, he felt the need to start from the Big Bang.

“The day we met…” he said. “I didn’t wanna believe it. And every single fucking day that followed, I tried resisting it with every fiber of my being, but you…” he sighed, “You were just something else, beautiful. You still are. The most mesmerizing thing that has ever happened to me.”

Then a string of brief stories followed. Like he was showing you some random pictures on his camera and telling you where he had taken them. The night you noticed the scars on his thighs. The night he left you with Minho at the bar. Chris’ birthday. His birthday. Minho’s birthday. Their face-off afterwards and how he almost shoved a fucking knife down his throat to get the truth out of him about your birthday. What he told you to get you to do things. How he played you.

Not necessarily in this order.

There was seemingly no connection between them, but when you examined Hyunjin’s face as he spoke, you could see the ghost of a desperate plea: he was handing you the pieces of a puzzle and begging you to please please piece them together as he was in no condition to do so.

And you were right. He had absolutely no right to demand anything that even reminded someone of loyalty from you. But it felt like he did. 

It still feels like it does. I’m so sorry I’m this selfish, beautiful.

“I just didn’t know any better, beautiful. You have to believe me.”

You listened, and listened, and listened. Maybe for the first time ever, Hyunjin wasn’t able to read your face.

“I just got myself out. I didn’t think you’d say yes to me right away. I thought you’d need some time to see how I can change because I know words mean nothing,” he kept silently crying throughout his entire monologue, “So that… so that you’d accept me. See that I’m worthy of you. And give me a chance.”

You heard the gentle drip of the water droplet that caused the entire glass to fucking overflow.

Snap.

“This is how you change? THIS is how you CHANGE???” you pointed at the vial.

“No, please beautiful, I wasn-”

What about all the times you felt like you were severely mistreated, huh? Like you were a nobody. What about all the times you were there for him? Whatever the fuck you shared all this time? All those nights you would slowly fall into the descent of pleasure together like you two were the only goddamn people alive? Providing each other with elaborate tactical guides to ruin one another? The day he basically tortured you with his words without a shred of mercy? 

DID HE LOSE HIS FUCKING MEMORY SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY? HE COULDN’T HAVE CONCLUDED A FUCKING YES FROM ALL THAT??? 

It felt psychotically good to vomit all the poisonous bile of dejection and resentment that had been pooling inside you for months while all Hyunjin was able to utter was a neverending ‘Please’.

“Stop looking at me like I’m the only fucking thing that matters in this world!!!!!!”

You harshly opened the door and pointed your finger at him one last time before taking off.

“I’m gonna say this once, Hyunjin. Whatever I did up to know, all that shit that endured like a goddamn lunatic was for you. Because I fucking love you!”

What did you just say to him?

Hyunjin. You called him Hyunjin. Outside of the bounds of your cocoon of lust.

Not prince.

Not your prince.

This must have been a nightmare and he desperately wanted to wake up.

“Please, beautiful,” was all he was able to whimper.

“Please, don’t go.”

It wasn’t the anger, the judgement, the chastising… You could curse him all you wanted all night long and he wouldn’t even bat an eye. God knows he wanted you to.

The thing he couldn’t endure, however, was the expression on your face that spelled utter disappointment.

“Whoa, where are you going, baby girl?”

“TO GET SOME FUCKING AIR!”

Hyunjin wanted to run after you. He did. He really did. He just couldn’t fucking move under the weight of your words. It felt like you handed him blocks after blocks of iron with every sentence. In a momentary lapse of sanity, he smashed the vial into the toilet bowl and flushed it.

Chris walked into the bathroom to witness a Hyunjin sitting on the toilet, yanking at his own hair. He kneeled down in front of him.

“Not to be that person, but you might need a miracle this time around, buddy.” Hyunjin looked at Chris with bloodshot eyes.

A miracle. He needed a miracle.

It wasn’t long before you reached the park. Or maybe it was; you couldn’t exactly track how much time passed with all the rant you were having with an imaginary Hyunjin in your head.

The selfishness. The audacity. How fucking dare you…

Yet even in a moment like this, you were trying to find solace in bits and pieces of him. It was Hyunjin’s park you instinctively retreated to so that you could hear yourself think.

How fucking pathetic were you?

Your inner rambling transformed from frantic to erratic and not so long after, it stopped. All you were left with was a very unnecessary revelation about yourself.

Loving someone so desperately shouldn’t have hurt this good.

“Hey, beautiful.”

You watched the owner of the voice that didn’t have a fragment of its usual playfulness. That was the bleakest, gloomiest ‘Hey beautiful’ ever. He kneeled down in front of the bench you were sitting on, restlessly shaking your legs. You thought you had calmed down but that sight just rekindled that fury inside of you.

“Just tell me something. What was the reason? WHAT WAS THE FUCKING REASON????”

“Hate me,” he grabbed both your wrists, “Hate me all you want. Curse me, I don’t care. I deserve it. I will endure it. But please, please, please don’t let me go.”

Let you go?

Hyunjin reached his hand and caressed your cheek, “I’m nothing without you, beautiful. Please don’t stop loving me the way you do.”

Stop loving you? Like it’s a fucking matter of free will?

“There’s nothing in this world that I want more than to be yours. I love you, beautiful. I’ve loved you for a long time.”

What did he just say to you?

“Look at me. Look into my eyes. You know I’m not lying.”

“Pr-”

“No, don’t,” Hyunjin shushed you, “Please don’t say anything for now. Just think about it until Saturday. Let it gestate at the back of your head. Meditate on it, sleep on it, I don’t care. But just don’t say anything right now. Even if it’s a good thing. I will never be able to live with myself if you made a rash decision and then resented me for it. For better or worse.”

It was maybe for the first time that Hyunjin didn’t try to coax you into whatever outcome he wanted. He was legitimately offering a choice.

“I just want you to be happy. Ideally let me make you happy, but I swear I’ll be ready for whatever you decide. I’ll accept it with open arms. I promise, beautiful.”

Yeah, I’m sure he never breaks his promises.

“Saturday, huh?” you said, remembering the day of the event you made a bet on months ago, “What makes you think I’m even gonna be able to go?”

“Because you are,” a convivial smile appeared on his face, “I know you are since the day we bet on it at The Hideout.”

You smiled back. Not because your anger automatically vanished. Not because you instantly forgave him. There were so many things Hyunjin needed to show you so that you could even begin to consider leaving the past where it belonged. But at that moment, you just smiled because seeing his crescent eyes was like watching someone yawn.

“You’ve never called it The Hideout before.”

“I am now.”

Hyunjin grabbed your hands and placed a kiss on each of them.

“I know it sounds like complete bullshit to you for now but I am willing to change things. A lot of things. You make me wanna do it, and I’ll prove it to you. In whatever way you want. Just let me. Let me and I promise it’ll be worth it.”

You know what, he actually never does. Honestly, it’s the only thing I can vouch for about the motherfucker.

Ping!

You looked at your phone expecting a whole-ass scolding from Chris for storming off like that and urging you to bring back donuts as a punishment or something. Never in a million years did you expect what you were seeing on the screen. Your eyes widened.

“No fucking way.”

Your tone immediately alerted Hyunjin, “What? Is everything okay?”

You looked at Hyunjin in complete astonishment then back to your phone, mouth still parted from shock.

‘We are pleased to inform you that…’

“I can’t fucking believe the park actually works.”

“Remember when I said our friendship with Hyunjin was based on keeping secrets?” Chris asked while buttering his toast.

“Uh huh?”

“Yeah, what the fuck was I thinking?”

You laughed. Not because you were trying to veil some awkwardness for once, but because you agreed with him with every single cell of your being.

It was finally Friday morning, D-1 until the day you were looking forward to for so long no matter how much you didn’t allow yourself to have any kind of expectation about it. Since Hyunjin’s invitation came in way earlier than yours, he had made his travel plans accordingly. His flight was scheduled for noon while yours was supposed to take off at 9 PM that evening. Ever the gentleman he was, Chris was going to take you to the airport.

Prince

Hey, beautiful!

Go to the airport.

Like, right now.

You looked at your phone while crunching the bread in your mouth. You appreciated Hyunjin’s enthusiasm, but no fucking way you were about to leave twelve hours earlier than intended.

Prince

It’s supposed to snow like hell today.

And the rest of the week.

There’s no way flights aren’t getting canceled.

I swapped my flight with an earlier one to not risk it. There’s another one in an hour.

Hurry, beautiful.

“Channie boy, move your ass.”

You and Chris dropped your toasts immediately and you got changed at lightspeed. Chris got a little carried away on the way, fully convinced he was starring in the latest Fast & Furious movie, but he managed to drop you off at your destination in one piece.

“RECORD time! I’ll be leaving a 5-star review, Chrissy.”

“Have fun, baby girl,” he gave you a quick hug before leaving, “Call me if you need me to come back and I want all the details!”

You blew him a kiss and ran to the airport dashboard, just to notice that…

Prince

I fucking MADE IT!!!

What’s your situation beautiful?

Me

I think I got some bad news for you, prince.

As you were typing to explain your situation, Hyunjin called you.

“What’s going on, beautiful? Is everything okay?”

“My flight got cancelled. So di-.”

“WHAT?!”

“Yeah, I th-”

“I’ll call you in 5. Just hang in there for me,” and Hyunjin hung up the phone.

You just stood there in front of the dashboard with your phone in your hand. You examined the entire board and noticed there were seven flights in total leaving for your destination, including the one Hyunjin managed to get in. Your originally scheduled flight was the last one, and the board already had two lines that spelled CANCELLED on it in bold, red letters. It didn’t look good, honestly.

Your phone rang again.

“Go to Counter 5.”

“Counter 5?”

“Yes. Give them the code I just sent you.”

The code you got texted contained the reservation number of a flight you must certainly had not booked yourself. You found the counter Hyunjin directed you to.

Me

Sorry, prince. This one’s canceled, too.

Prince

GodfuckingDAMMIT!

Hang tight, beautiful. I’ll fix this, I promise.

You know what, he actually never does. Honestly, it’s the only thing I can vouch for about the motherfucker.

You never wanted to believe Chris that badly before. Who gave a crap about the event? Fuck the event. There were more important things that needed to take place that day. However, the more time passed, the more you visited counters, the more your gaze was met with regretful faces, the more you started to lose hope. For a second, you caught yourself thinking whether it would be at all possible for you to drive there. Sure, whole-ass flights were getting cancelled so it would make perfect sense to fucking drive.

Get a goddamn grip, woman.

“Listen to me, beautiful. I got it,” Hyunjin spoke urgently on the phone, “The 7.30 flight. It’s supposed to carry a volleyball team, so they’re for sure flying that one out before they get snowed in. It doesn’t allow me to make a reservation from here - it has to be an in-person purchase at the counter because of the circumstances. Hurry. Please.”

Yeah, the plan seemed nice and all, but…

“Um, listen prince, not to rain on your parade or anything, but last minute plane tick-”

“I DON’T CARE!” Hyunjin yelled, “You have my credit card information. Just go!!!”

You what fucking information?

Hyunjin sounded like he was legitimately going through some kind of a panic attack at the end of the line. You attempted to diffuse the tension with a little humor, “That was a dumb move on your part, prince. You do realize I can just max this out right fucking now.”

“I don’t care. Get yourself a private jet if you can, but just come to me, beautiful.”

You totally meant to control that tiny sob, but it escaped your throat anyway.

An infinite wait in the line accompanied by the chitchat with the volleyball ladies later, you actually saw it. The leather chair you were supposed to strap yourself on for an hour in that damn metal tube. That was supposed to take you to the prince.

Your prince.

Me

I MADE IT!

I FUCKING MADE IT!!!!!!

Prince

When you land, take the shuttle and tell them you’re gonna get off downtown.

I’m so looking forward to seeing you, beautiful.

Come to me already.

When you got off that shuttle that night, there was nothing but butterflies starting a damn riot in your stomach. Like you were going to see Hyunjin for the first time in your life. It felt like you were about to willingly assist in your own heart’s abduction. 

That entire avenue looked like one of Hyunjin’s photographs came alive. Little flickers of lights dancing everywhere, a sea of people, and a tram passing by in the middle of that road closed to any other traffic.

Then you saw him.

You saw the tall, beautiful man, blonde hair glowing under those yellow lights, walking in quick steps with hands in the pockets of his blazer.

Then he saw you. 

The second he spotted your silhouette from afar, he broke into a smile so bright that his eyes disappeared. He started running.

“You came to me, beautiful.”

His embrace.

His kiss.

Him not giving a single fuck whether people were watching.

Not because it satisfied some perversion, but genuinely because he didn’t care.

Because your existence was the only thing that mattered.

You had been to a bunch of hotel rooms with Hyunjin before. Always luxurious, elegant, making you wonder whether you can actually put a price on a good night’s sleep (or the lack thereof), but nowhere quite like this.

First and foremost the room was orange; not the usual formal, borderline clinical-looking colors. There was a coffee maker on the vanity table, the small box next to it stacked with espresso capsules. The painting right above the headboard of the bed depicted a woman walking on the beach naked. And some champagne on ice with a small bowl of strawberries resting on the right nightstand as the finishing touch. This room looked so cozy. It felt warm. It felt intimate.

It felt like home.

As Hyunjin placed your cameras on the left nightstand, you went out to the balcony to check out the view. You had never seen such a beautiful sight before. Not that it was something grandiose or anything, but the sea view in the distance with a bridge lit up in rainbow colors adorning the dark waters just looked like something Hyunjin would paint during a cool, lonely, but delightful night. It moved you.

“I say today’s triumph calls for a celebration. Champagne?”

Hyunjin handed a glass to you and extended his glass for a toast. The weather was already chilly, so when you took a sip from your glass…

“Damn, that’s cold!”

“Yeah, the bottle is on ice,” he smiled, “The best kind to be honest.”

Hyunjin fixated his gaze on the bucket for some time as if an epiphany had dawned on him.

“Actually…”

When Hyunjin took a piece of ice from the bucket, you were watching him with curious eyes. He trapped it inside his mouth as he got closer to your face. When his lips met yours, it was an automatic reflex - you had to feel his tongue on yours. The wet muscle brought even a wetter guest with it this time around. You exchanged the ice cube between your mouths like you were in a competition to see who was going to melt it faster. It was so cold, borderline numbing, but Hyunjin’s warmth was comforting you.

Hyunjin touched your torso under your shirt. His hands were wet and cold like he was trying to come home in snowy weather and that sensation immediately sent a jolt down your spine, but you allowed him to equalize the temperature of his hands with your body’s nevertheless. While he was doing that, he crushed the ice between his teeth, and a drop of cold water trickled down the corner of his mouth, immediately prompting you to lick it clean. He couldn’t help but slither his hand under your shirt again, eventually peeling it off of you.

Hyunjin guided you inside, gently laid you down on the bed, and took another frozen cube from the bucket before joining you. At a completely torturous pace, he dragged it between your bare breasts and on your nipples. You were shivering. Everywhere. Then he closed his mouth on your nipple and started drawing languid circles on it. The contrast of the ice and the warmth of his mouth peaked your sensitivity. It felt like running your hand under the shower water and thinking it was freezing cold for the first couple of seconds only to realize that it was in fact boiling hot.

Hyunjin sofly removed your pants and underwear as if he was trying not to wake you up. Zero rush. Once you were completely naked for him, he dragged the ice from your ribcage down to your crotch, licking on the wet trail the cube was leaving behind. Then he gradually guided the compressed frost to the most sensitive spot of your body.

“T- Too cold.”

“Relax for me, beautiful,” Hyunjin placed a kiss on your clit while sharply inhaling your scent, “It’s gonna feel amazing.”

He kept dragging that fucking ice cube all over your labia with such unhurried movements like he was trying to find inspiration to paint the landscape of a snowy day. The more he rubbed the cold mass on your body, the smaller it became. All your senses were on hyperdrive and when he jumped the gun by slowly pushing the remains of the ice inside your pussy, the moan that ripped from your throat was nothing less than animalistic.

“Hold my hands, beautiful.”

You were feeling the ice melt inside you slowly. It was the singular stimulant alerting your entire body until Hyunjin trapped your clit between his voluptuous lips, and it was the most exquisite of contradictions. When he started sipping on you, you squeezed both his hands out of delight. He let you tug on his slender fingers entangled in yours however harshly you wanted like all he wanted to do was to soothe you. To cater to you. To satisfy your every single need. Absolutely nothing else mattered.

“If you just let me, I can do this for hours, but I don’t want to torment you, beautiful. Just tell me when you wanna cum.”

The hardest fucking proposal of the century. You didn’t wanna cum, absolutely not. The way Hyunjin set fire to your body was way too heavenly, and you would seriously consider jumping off the balcony before letting it stop of your own volition. Just watching this beautiful fucking creature between your legs, eating you out with such hunger but still with the manners nothing short of a prince was enough to lose whatever sanity you had left. Sometimes it was incredibly unbelievable how eager he was to please you. You weren’t able to utter a single word to give him any sort of instruction, though. All that left your lips were the rapturous moans, the source of which was shifting to your diaphragm with every passing second.

“Come to think of it, you’ve never squirted for me before, have you beautiful?”

Not for him per se, you didn’t even know you were capable of doing that, period. It was another mythical phenomenon from the realm of pleasure for you. It was a rhetorical question but you were too far gone to process that, and you legitimately tried to come up with an answer for Hyunjin.

“Would you like to do it for me?”

Did he really fucking ask that? As if even the thought of him forcing you to cum all over his face was not erotic enough.

“I just happen to find that so fucking hot. Just saying.”

You wanted to say something. Signal something, but you genuinely felt like you lost the ability to speak.

“Just say the word and I’ll have you raining all over me.”

Oh, fucking hell.

“Please,” was all you were able to articulate. Hyunjin broke into a content smile.

“Your wish is my command.”

It was that exact same sentence he uttered during your first night together, but this time around it felt infinitely different. Like he actually meant it rather than just saying some random shit to turn you on.

As if you needed to be turned on more.

Hyunjin hovered over you and grabbed one of your legs to place on his shoulder. 

“Tell me when you feel the pressure, beautiful.”

He started hitting your deepest spots at the same leisurely pace, exploring them anew with a specific destination in mind.

“Does it hurt?”

“No, it just… It feels…”

“Like you wanna pee?”

He smirked. You knew that mischievous smile all too well. It was the telltale sign of how proud he was of something he was able to cause in you. 

“Tell me when I hit that spot, okay?”

Hyunjin’s movements got a little rougher, but they were still in the second gear.

“There. FUCK, right there!”

"Nice and loud for me. There you go."

He leaned down to kiss you, the curvature of his cock involuntarily hitting the spot in the meantime.

“You know the drill, beautiful. I’ll hit that until you make a mess all over me.”

He calculated your coordinates in an instant and gave you a fair warning in advance.

“Can’t promise I can hold it in, though. No one told you to look like such a fucking goddess.”

And he set off. Rough. Determined. You lost your damn mind at the sensation, but Hyunjin hadn’t realized your loud moans echoing in the room would affect him so.

“Ah, fuck, I’m- Tell me you’re close. I’m begging you, beautiful, please tell me you’re close.”

Yes, he was trying to please you, but Hyunjin pleading like that was just too fucking sexy for your own good.

“Look at me.”

Hyunjin could have fucking sworn he almost blew his entire load in you upon that gaze. You were looking at him with such motive dripping in absolute lust that you didn’t need to exert a drop of effort. It would quite frankly be in vain now that Hyunjin was turned on this much.

“Cum inside, my prince.”

“Ah, beautiful, PLEASE-”

“This once you make a mess for me.”

Or maybe it wouldn’t be.

In none of your encounters up until that point had Hyunjin orgasmed that violently before, frantically spasming, strings after strings of hot liquid painting you white, inducing the strangest of serenity in you. He collapsed on your chest trying to catch his breath and basking in the utter afterglow of his orgasm.

“Fuck, I just- I don’t wanna get out.”

You smiled at him caressing his hair, “Weak already?”

He placed a kiss between your breasts, “I just don’t want my seed to leave your body. Ever.”

He slowly pulled out and propped you up signaling that you should change positions.

“It can’t go to waste, beautiful. Sit on my face. I’ll clean you up real nice.”

Did you absolutely clench around nothing when he said that? Fucking yes. You quickly made your way up to straddle his absolutely beautiful face and made yourself comfortable.

“My fucking GOD- You’re just a fucking godsend, beautiful. Ride my face, there you go.”

Then the torture began. You remembered this scene from your first night together, as well. How he locked his mouth on your entrance, gently sucked on it, and collected the dripping cum with his tongue as if he was trying to drink the last drops of a milkshake, wet thumb gently teasing your clit all the while. The point wasn’t to get you to cum; Hyunjin was doing it to indulge himself because he genuinely believed there was nothing sexier than filling you up just to empty you again. By himself. Granted when he did it the first time, you weren’t full of him, but that very incident was the ultimate reminder for him that you should always always be filled with him and him only. Not to mention this particular act had always felt intimate for Hyunjin for some reason, and he loved that feeling. Once there wasn’t even a drop of his own cum to be cleaned, he point-blank asked you:

“Tell me how you want me to finish you off, beautiful. Just say the word and I’ll do it. Anything you want.”

Anything you want?

That was way too much power to be trusted with you, especially when you considered the rap sheet of kinks you possessed. You didn’t wanna scare Hyunjin right off the bat, but on the other hand, he was offering your wildest fantasies on a goddamn silver platter. There was a more pressing matter at hand, though.

“Would you like me to keep going here, or-?

“Earlier, you didn’t- You didn’t get me to-”

“Ah, of course. And that was so fucking rude of me, wasn’t it?” Hyunjin laid you back on the bed, “Please accept my apologies, beautiful. And since I have my mind intact this time, I get to fucking ascend you.”

The way you were spread for him always did something to Hyunjin. In addition to your undeniable allure, it was the thought of you willing to be this vulnerable with him, offering yourself for him, trusting him… It was an inexplicable thing.

He really appreciated that.

“You’re a fucking goddess, beautiful.”

You were expecting him to make a move, but he reached for his camera on the nightstand instead. You chortled.

“Wanna make another sex tape or what, prince?”

Hyunjin smiled, but it wasn’t that obscene smile of his, informing you of something lewd ahead, “I just wanna capture you. This moment. Us.”

It wasn’t fair that Hyunjin was the only one to get to do it, so you reached out for your own camera as well. You realized there had only been a handful of instances where you looked at him through your viewfinder.

“God, you are so fucking beautiful, prince.”

And you also realized you had never called him beautiful to his face before. Hyunjin broke into a smile behind his camera and you captured that exact moment. Both with your lens and your heart.

“So that’s how you feel, huh beautiful? Kiss me.”

It was time to appreciate art in real-time. Hyunjin loved how you kiss, always with a couple of gentle bites on his lips. It told him volumes as to how much you desired him. He didn’t waste any more time and made his way to the coordinates of that one spot in you, completely determined to have you seeing stars for hours. The way Hyunjin moved… Oh, the way he fucking moved…

It had always been so damn delicious, but tonight the entire room was bleeding wine red, exactly in the shade of the wall behind his headboard. It was raw. It was primal. Precise. Intentional. Driving you to absolute insanity one push at a time. 

“SHIT, prince, you’re killing me with this! FUCK-”

“Claim me, beautiful. Call me yours.”

“My pr-”

“No. No, no, no,” Hyunjin squeezed his eyes while shaking his head, “Yours.”

You clung to his biceps and dug your fingers on his skin, like you were trying to mark him, and pulled him closer.

“You’re mine.”

“Yes. Fucking YES!” Hyunjin pulled you harshly into his own lips, “I’m yours. Just yours. We belong together, beautiful.”

You knew that feeling from somewhere.

Simple. No games, no calculations, no strategies. This wasn’t a chess game. 

It was affection. It was just compassion. As simple as that.

“There. There, THERE, right there FUCK, please don’t stop!”

“Gonna make a mess for me?”

“Yes, YES, please- Please, make me- mak-”

“I have a favor to ask, beautiful,” Hyunjin stopped and forced you to look at him, “Will you let me eat you out?”

The request surprised you a little, “You just… did?”

“No, not like that. I want you to lose yourself,” he stole a kiss from your ankle he was still holding onto, “I wanna make you squirt on my face.”

“Fuck, prince, you’re seriously gonna be the death of me,” you groaned. Hyunjin took that to mean you gave him permission and lowered himself between your legs.

If you got exposed to something over and over again, wouldn’t that lose all meaning? Wouldn’t you be eventually numb to the feeling?

Then how come every time Hyunjin dragged his tongue across your skin, no matter the local moisture, he always managed to make you fall into pieces? How come all his ministrations felt this delectable every single time to the point of pushing you into a state of complete frenzy? How fucking come he was the epitome of sensuality in corporal form? Just how?

Hyunjin coated your entire pussy with his saliva and started tasting you with such an appetite. It was literally the same lip movements on your clit - the exact same pattern as whenever he kissed you. Slow. Sensual.

Wet.

His long, slender middle finger came to his aid and to your eventual rescue. You leaned into that familiar hook of the finger and fucked yourself on it as Hyunjin kept licking you. You already had an inkling that this wasn’t going to last long. 

“Hold my hand, beautiful.”

Hyunjin offered his left hand for you to grab and squeeze however you wished. He wanted to be connected to you through more than one channel. The index finger of his right hand joined the middle one, both reaching that delicious spot inside you.

“Fuck me harder.”

Hyunjin smiled into your pussy, extremely delighted by your reaction. He added a third finger and started massaging that spongy spot with sheer fervor. You could feel the imminent threat of a brutal convulsion ahead.

“More. Harder.”

Hyunjin squeezed your left hand, “You’re gonna feel a lot of pressure in a second, beautiful. Don’t hesitate and let go for me, okay?”

“Please, harder, FUCK!”

You could die.

You had never been able to resist how fucking beautiful Hyunjin was. He just exuded sexiness being his normal self, but getting him between your legs like that, hungrily lapping at you, and you got to taint all his delicate features with your arousal?

You could seriously fucking die.

Hyunjin never let go of your hand while you were riding out your high, still sucking on your supple skin and placing kisses everywhere he could. Once he was convinced there wasn’t a shred of climax left he could elicit out of you, he climbed up on you to kiss you. Breathlessly. Like he just couldn’t get enough of you. You had never experienced an afterglow this warm before. Hand supporting his head, Hyunjin was turned to your side, fingers gently caressing your torso and patiently waiting for your tremors to fully recede. 

“You know what Jisung said when I told him about this morning’s action?”

“What?”

“Is she made of fucking gold?”

You laughed in response, “How did you answer?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“How FUCKING dare you, prince!!!”

You were getting ready to land a sizzling smack on Hyunjin’s waist when he trapped you in his embrace so that you couldn’t move.

“Because I’ll be damned if I call you anything less than a diamond. You’re so fucking precious to me,” he pressed his lips on your forehead.

“I love you, baby.”

You felt your entire body being electrocuted and you were sure you were beet red as if nothing remotely obscene happened between you two just about five minutes ago.

“Oh, I got an upgrade now?”

“If you’re okay with it. I’d love to hear you call me that, too.”

The look in Hyunjin's eyes, begging to be loved, begging to belong, begging to be embraced by you… It was impossible to resist. You took his lips between yours again, and his eyes automatically closed at the contact.

“I love you too, baby.”

Hyunjin smiled while caressing your hair, “If I’m completely honest, I’m actually very much inclined to call you my soulmate instead, beautiful.”

You chuckled in embarrassment, “Maybe I don’t believe in soulmates, prince.”

And that was a lie.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

*Adapted from a true story

The Zone has a very special place in my heart, and I'd like to sincerely thank you for being a part of it. If you feel like asking questions about it, as long as you're kind you're always welcome in my askbox.

I appreciate you.

- R. (CB97%)

«BACK TO GENERAL MASTERLIST»

TXT Soobin Hard Thought Visualizer

You made a mistake watching your boyfriend's concert Livestream. Currently that decision left you with a wet spot on your panties and your thighs clamped tightly. You sat waiting patiently for Soobin to walk through the front door. Only to lunge for him once he finally stepped in. Without a word spoken you stripped him of his clothes and straddled facing away from him. Maybe watching your boyfriend's livestream wasn't a mistake after all. (Reverse cowboy riding)

If you like my content and would like to support me you can tip me! Or just like my post! That works too.<3

COLLEGESLUTS.COM — IDEA 686 | HHJ

Part one of the CSC series. You can find this series’ masterpost here. This can be read as a stand-alone, but you may have questions that will be answered in future installations. Keep in mind this is the intro.

There are three things you hate more than anything: 1. Your english Lit. professor, 2. Frat parties, and last but most definitely not least, 3. CollegeSluts.com and their founders. There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything: 1. College, 2. Back alley blowjobs, and 3. The frustrating desire to fuck you silly.

PAIRING: hyunjin x f!reader

GENRE: enemies to lovers; smut; crack; angst; college au

WC: 17k…. fear me! (also broke my record!!)

WARNINGS: reader is going through it and will continue to go through it. there’s no development for them at all in this installment i apologize (😭) reader calls skz sex-crazed demons, she’s very confused but not irrational, there’s not many warnings besides for the smut— profanity, alcohol consumption, mentions of alcoholism, annoying characters, insanely inexperienced reader, bet making, one-sided hatred, hyunjin wants to figure you out & thank god for that otherwise this series wouldn’t exist, sexual tension bottled up as hate bc yn is stupid. virgin/corruption kink, loss of virginity, overstimulation, dirty talking, unprotected sex…, creampie, fingering, pussy eating, teasing, breast play, and i think that’s it…

A/N: hi angels, i finished this in three days somehow and even though i didn’t plan on this being my post for 400, we hit it recently so this is it! and it’s fitting since a lot of people are waiting for this series <3 I hope you enjoy the first installment, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, my ask box, or in a reblog! & lmk if you want to be added to the taglist for this fic or my permanent one which is linked below! i hate writing the introduction to a fic and if you feel like this entire one-shot is pointless i promise it’s not 😭 there’s a lot of drama to come soon but i had to establish some things first!

i managed to make a playlist for this series! please enjoy 👩🏾‍💻

mlist; taglist; navi; | ⇦ previous | next ⇨

There are three things you hate more than anything.

Your english lit. professor

Frat parties

last, but most definitely not least, collegesluts. com and it’s founders.

It’s the literal bane of your existence, the reason why it’s so hard for you to sleep at night, and the one thing that makes your skin itch even more than the fuzzy sweaters your grandma knits every winter season.

Maybe if the creator of the site wasn’t such a douchebag, and maybe if the site users weren’t even worse, you wouldn’t abhor it as much as you did. But that’s a lot of maybes— ones that create a reality much different than your own and don’t make you feel much better.

You were first introduced to the hellsite in your second year of college— only made a year before. After you found out, age twenty hanging high over your head and no longer a fresh face in the school system, you’d tried and failed to get it shut down. Multiple times.

Happy, carefree people, would just ignore its existence— get on with their life, allow people to be college sluts in peace, but you couldn’t do that. Only you saw it for what it was, right? A sex site for college-goers to ruin their lives before it even started. Everyone else was too blissed out, a hand shoved in their pants every night as they watched their classmates fuck each other without fail. Only you could really see—

“Hello, can you hear!?”

Your eyebrows furrow at the voice behind you and your shoulders tighten when a finger pokes harshly at your skin.

“What?” You groan, rubbing the section of your arm that was unjustly abused. “Can you just be nice like a normal person?”

“Well, you’re an asshole so why would I be nice to you?”

“Fuck off Seungmin. What do you want?”

The only thing that betrays the fact that he heard you at all is the laugh that echoes behind you. Your chest tightens in response, and you fold your arms over your chest.

Kim Seungmin. A close fourth on your list of things you hate more than anything else. He was one of the users on the-site-that-must-not-be-named. A platinum member actually, a fact that always made your skin burn even in the coldest of weather. He was even friends with the site creators, and you wouldn’t doubt he had a hand in making it completely. He’d never been shy in supporting his use of the site, because nowadays regular cam sites were somehow uncool. He even had shirts with the college sluts logo in big, bold, letters. He was a part of one of the things you couldn’t stand. A big part of it even, but you ignored all that so you could call him your best— and one of your only— friends.

Kim Seungmin is first on the things you love, and that automatically removes him from the list of things you hate. When an arm slings itself across your shoulders you barely react, simply steering you both in the direction of your first class. It’s too early to deal with your best friend, and especially his toothy remarks and sarcasm, but you don’t say so and simply allow him to talk your ear off while you concern yourself with more important things.

Things like Hwang Hyunjin and Christopher Bang. The admins of College Sluts and the cause of the twitch in your brow. Sometimes the amount of hatred you felt for the two amazed you. To others, they were college boys— hotter than most, smart, talented, promiscuous. They had a good personality, a future, and were people a lot of other people got along with (and their other friends but you won’t get into that lest you pop a vessel).

To you, it’s agree to disagree. In short, they’ve got everyone totally fooled. Only sex-crazed low lifes actually managed to create a porn site. It’s one thing to think of it, sprawled around their dorm rooms knocked off their ass and barely sober, but it’s another thing to actually do it— work hard on it, execute such ideas— it’s completely baffling to you. How can no one see how perverted that is? You don’t even know what to call it, but the fire that erupts in your gut is enough to tell you that it’s bad.

There’s a bunch of girls and guys crowding around them, laughing and hugging and touching. Touching as if they were in the privacy of their home and not outside where others could see. It makes your chest heat up, and makes weird maggots swallow up your stomach, leaving a tingly feeling in its wake. You hate it. They’re demons. Sex-crazed demons.

“God, I’m starting to think you’re like anti-sex or something.”

You grunt.

“Literally we’re just walking by and you look like you’re contemplating murder.”

You hum.

“Jesus,” Seungmin sighs, shaking his head before waving over at his friends. More like his sinner acquaintances. Don’t get it wrong, you’re not overly religious or particularly shameful— despite how you might seem— but it’s something about that entire group (Seungmin sometimes included) that makes you feel like breaking something. Choking something? Crying? Screaming? You’re not sure anymore.

When you catch Hyunjin’s eye he smirks and you frown. Just the sight of him is enough to make your head hurt and your knees weak. At least, that makes sense to you. The rest of the student body? Not so much.

You hoist your bag up on your shoulder and tear your gaze away from him. Your building isn’t much farther and if you squint really hard you can pretend you don’t see Hyunjin approaching from the corner of your eye. It’s a hot day and when he sidles up to you, shoulders almost touching, it gets much hotter.

“Hey,” he greets, slapping palms with Seungmin and holding one down low for you. Your hand hesitates, almost greeting him in return before you slap his arm and send a glare his way.

“Bye,” you grit, turning your head away from him and grabbing at Seungmin’s arm. “I have somewhere to be.”

“Loosen up!” He calls, his long legs easily catching up to your fast pace. “I just wanted to say hi to my favorite girl.”

Your breath stutters the tiniest bit but you ignore it, not bothering to grant that remark an answer. Hyunjin is flirty. Too flirty. Stupid flirty. The kind of flirty that gets girls like you all riled up even when you’re supposed to be hating him, even when you’re supposed to curse the very ground he walks on, and it just makes the dreadful maggots in your system start up their annoying fluttering.

Seungmin doesn’t say anything, even when your grip on his arm tightens at a painful rate. You will your heart to stop beating so damn hard and for your entire body to stop reacting so easily to him. You don’t even know him so why does he hold so much influence over you? Someone like him? Someone who spends their time and their intelligence on a haphazard college porn site? No. No way.

“What do you want, Hyunjin?”

The devil with the long brown hair, and soft cheeks, and cute dimples takes the chance to lean close to your ear, making sure you hear whatever it is he has to say.

“Don’t be too mad at me, bug. I just wanted to tell you that you look gorgeous today.” Hyunjin pats your cheek, smiling before he leans away, turning back the way he came.

“See you later.”

And that’s that. The sex demon comes to set your cheeks ablaze and leaves once he’s done, letting you deal with your muddled feelings on your own. Once you start walking again, ignoring the stare boring into your cheeks and the confusing pounding of your heart, there’s only three words on your mind.

Fuck Hwang Hyunjin.

There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything:

1. College

2. Back alley blowjobs

3. The frustratingly clear desire he has to fuck you silly.

Hyunjin isn’t sure when he realized it exactly. He doesn’t even know why he reacts to you so strongly. If you were anyone else he probably wouldn’t give you a second glance. He’s sure of it. Maybe it’s the desire to want something you can’t have, or the fact that you aren’t groveling at his feet.

It’s not like Hyunjin has any idea of why exactly you’re so hellbent on hating his guts, nor does he really care all that much. So you don’t like College Sluts, that’s your right as is anyone else’s, but it’s not like he’s shoving the damn shit in your face. He minds his business, manages his porn site, and does it all with a smile on his face. You, though? It’s a miracle he’s seen you smile once. And that was when he wasn’t paying attention and knocked into someone carrying a full tray of food.

Chan laughs at him all the time and so does Minho, wondering if he has some weird kink for wanting people who clearly don’t want him back, but more and more he’s thinking that isn’t the case. He’s always been bold, always been a bit flirty even when he wasn’t trying, and he knows he’s easy on the eyes. It’s not a secret, but your reaction to him isn’t one of disdain or clear attraction, but rather confusion, and that confuses him.

He flips the mic in his hands, switching between cradling it and flinging it every which way. The speakers of the karaoke system effectively drag him from his thoughts as the music gets louder and Jisung spins Felix around on their makeshift stage. Whoops and hollers echo from around them, the rest of their friends cheering at the performance in front of them. Hyunjin can’t bring himself to laugh even as a smile threatens to take hold of his features.

“Yo, what’s up with you?” Jisung plops down beside him, slinging an arm around Hyunjin's shoulders as puffs of breath leave his lips. “You’ve been sitting here brooding. What’s going on?”

“I don’t brood,” Hyunjin argues, though he maneuvers his body so he can tell Jisung exactly what has him brooding. “It’s just— I’m still thinking about Y/n.”

“Bro.”

“It doesn’t seem weird to you?”

“Weird that she’s just not interested? This is a new low, Hyunjin. Not everyone is gonna be attracted to you—”

“I know, but that’s not what I’m saying. Doesn’t her whole attitude towards us seem a bit excessive? All over a website.”

“It’s not your typical website.”

“Sung, it’s probably one of the safest porn sites out there because of how exclusive it is. No one but students here can get on it.”

“Does she know that?”

“That’s my point,” Hyunjin sighs, running a hand through his hair before starting again. “If she doesn’t even know the full details of the site, how can she possibly hate it? Hate us?”

Jisung pauses, looking back towards the stage. It’s true that all eight of them have thought about this at least once. They know there’s people who hate the website, who steer clear of it in all instances, but none who have made petitions and gone to the superintendent requesting an audience about it. No one who’s actively been so hateful to them specifically, refusing to look in their direction unless it’s to send a glare their way.

“Maybe there's another reason?” Jisung offers, sending Hyunjin a sideways glance. “I mean, maybe she just hates porn.”

Hyunjin snorts at that. How can anyone hate porn?

“You’re laughing but I’m dead serious. Has she ever even had a partner?”

“How the fuck would I know?”

“You think about her 24/7. I wouldn't be surprised if you knew what she ate for breakfast.”

“Not fucking funny.”

Jisung barks out a laugh, falling over into Hyunjin’s space. “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it soon.”

Hyunjin isn’t so sure but he nods anyway, allowing Jisung to go back to the stage for the next song. Hyunjin knocks back his drink, throat constricting barely at the bitter taste. He doesn’t care. He really doesn’t, but there’s something weird about your behavior and he’s more than determined to figure it out. Maybe he needs to just mind his business but fuck that, he thinks, no one is gonna hate him for no reason. Maybe he’s a little too riled up at that, maybe Jisung is right and this is a new low. Maybe he just really can’t deal with rejection well. Maybe.

Minho’s screeching into the mic does it’s hardest to ruin Hyunjin’s night, but the way the rest of his friends tackle him and attempt to steal the mic just makes him laugh, leaving a warm feeling in his chest. This is all he needs— his friends and a good drink to put a smile on his face. And the college porn site he worked very hard on, of course.

The group only gets through a few more songs before they decide to leave, deciding to ignore the fact that some of them have classes in six hours or that they’ll be nursing a bad headache for the entirety of it. Hyunjin is one of them. He laughs along with his friends as they walk, and he watches them from where he stands in the back.

Jisung has his phone out and is making a concerned face, typing furiously on the device. Either they’re having technical issues or his girlfriend is getting on his ass once again. Minho has an arm slung around his shoulders, laughing at whatever it is he’s typing and whoever it is that’s typing back. Next to them Felix and Jeongin have joined hands and Felix swings them back and forth, giggling as he does. Jeongin pretends he doesn’t like it, like usual, but Hyunjin notices the hint of a smile on his face. He always notices.

Chan and Changbin are quiet on either side of him, walking in the tranquil quiet that’s always rare for their group. It feels incomplete— Hyunjin wishes Seungmin could’ve come. He doesn’t know how the boy manages to be friends with the creators of the CSC and also be friends with its #1 hater. Maybe he’s selling secrets, telling you everything about the site, all its loopholes and glitches. Maybe he’s working against them now, coming up with a plan to shut them down once and for all, though Hyunjin doesn’t know if that’s possible.

Right after those thoughts trickle into his mind, he thinks about Seungmin wearing the handmade “merch” for the site, and doesn’t entertain them any longer. It would be ridiculous— even for him— to think that someone who repped college sluts like it was their brand would ever work even harder to tear it away.

The knot in his throat that’s been squeezing at his airways since earlier that night relaxes just a little. He’s never actually said this to anyone, but just as much as he thinks about why you hate him, he thinks about whether Seungmin will hate him too; about if he’ll lose a friend due to reasons he’s not even sure of. As much as he thinks about why you hate him so badly, he thinks about why he doesn’t hate you right back. He wonders why he— instead of wanting nothing to do with you— wants to know everything about you. Why he wants to understand you when you’ve made no effort to understand him, or worse, made up your own mind about who he is without even attempting to entertain the idea that maybe you’re wrong.

Hyunjin has lived his whole life suffering from other people's ideas of him, from their expectations that they held with no prior consultation with him, from the perfect picture of him in their minds that didn’t correlate with the real Hyunjin. He’s had his fair share of wondering, thinking, wanting. And it’s disappointing to see how even after all this time, since childhood, nothing has changed. He’s always wanted what he’s not allowed to have, but it’s not for lack of trying.

They don’t arrive at their frat house quick enough. As soon as the door opens into the building Hyunjin feels like falling asleep on the couch. It wouldn’t be the first time, but he’s also not sure what last happened on that couch. Between spilled drinks and sex that was too rushed to even make it to a bedroom he’d rather take his chances on an actual bed. Chan doesn’t bother to turn the lights on when he comes in, and the seven of them shuffle around each other, spilling into the living room or into the kitchen to grab drinks and snacks as if they didn’t just come back from eating.

Hyunjin knows he’s been distant all night but he can’t be bothered to care as he sends a quick good night his friends’ way and makes his way upstairs. The house holds eight other boys besides them and he’s surprised none of them are downstairs or hanging around even at the late hour. Though, Hyunjin reasons, most of them have girlfriends and the few others that don’t are seniors and probably pull all-nighters in the library or some shit.

Hyunjin doesn’t want to think about that. The year only started back up again a few months ago, he doesn’t need to be thinking about work anymore than he already does. He makes a good living even without a real job, so he’s taking shit day by day. It’s not like anyone else is much different. Most of his seniors are cramming because they were so carefree. Hyunjin doesn’t think about the implications of that either.

The softness of his bed is long overdue and his body sinks into the plush bedding. He strips off his shirt and pants, not bothering to make his way to a shower or put pajamas on or do anything really. He has five hours before he needs to wake back up and this is nothing if not a power nap that won’t help him get through any lectures the next day. Or, later that day rather.

Hyunjin doesn’t concern himself with that though, because there’s only one thing that’s on his mind when he falls asleep and when he wakes up, and that’s what he’s going to say to you tomorrow morning in the first class of the day.

The first thing you manage to think of when you wake up is how best you’re going to ignore Hyunjin today. You’ve been brainstorming, wondering which response will humble him the best, maybe make him speechless for long enough that you can get away. If only those getaways could last forever, you sigh, pulling a fitted tee over your head. It’s low-cut, makes your cleavage pop just a little bit more, and you add a necklace for that exact reason.

You’re not the sex-crazed demon that the CSC most definitely are, but you do like a little attention every now and again even if you don’t get that much action. Or any, really, and you’re just fine with that. It’s one of the reasons why you don’t like the CSC. There’s no reason to sexify everything, and that’s exactly what they do. People can get by just fine without it.

Just fine? Seungmin would probably jab, but he’s not here right now and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You are just fine, but the mention of the-site-that-must-not-be-named just fills your stomach with stones and ignites your nerves like nothing else does. To you, that’s more than enough proof that it’s the CSC’s fault— not yours.

Anyway, today is the day you have to see Hyunjin bright and early, which always manages to set your day off to a bad start. No one should have to deal with him at this time of day, or any time of day, and you pity the ones that do. Seeing Chan isn’t rare, but he doesn’t talk to you like Hyunjin does. He stares every now and again, gives you a lazy smirk, and is generally sexy as much as it pains you to admit it, but he doesn’t bother you. Though you know he probably talks about you. His stares are too knowing, way too insightful even when you don’t really know each other.

The rest of the boys you’ve talked to on a few occasions. They aren’t as insufferable, but they are associated with Hyunjin and Chan and are, in fact, involved in the upkeep of the-site-that-must-not-be-named. To you, that’s more than enough reason to at the least dislike them. You don’t hold soft spots for any of them, except maybe Felix who seems way too sweet to be a sex demon, but then again, it’s always the nice ones.

Besides, it doesn’t matter what they say to you or don’t say, or if they look at you or not, or if they even know you exist. It really doesn’t matter. You shake the thoughts from your head vigorously, ashamed at the fact that you spent the first hour of your morning on them. It’s unbecoming of you. It’s good to remind yourself not to actively concern yourself with any of them, and simply fight for the site’s demolition like you’ve been doing.

Seungmin says you have no life, but Seungmin also wears T-shirts with cartoonish, glittery pink boobs and the site’s name in glittery cursive letters. You don’t think Seungmin should have an opinion.

The last time you attempted to do anything about the site was roughly two months ago, a month after school started back. You took your time to settle in, fall into a routine, and get your work and classes in order before resuming your mission. It was arduous, brainstorming and juggling school work, but it was your responsibility since no one else would work hard enough.

A quick shuffle through any of your things would tell people you were a perfectionist— articulate in your placement of items and the way you did things. Even taking the time to plan certain outings to a T, determined to make sure everything goes well. It’s not a secret how obsessive you get over things and how uncomfortable or incomplete you feel when things don’t go your way, when you have to follow someone else’s idea of how things should work. It’s the reason why most people don’t get along with you because to them you’re too controlling, too compulsive and dominating.

When you were a child that fact had bothered you. It was confusing— that was just your nature, and you wouldn’t have survived your childhood without it based on the way your parents lived. When kids would shun you, treat you like something sticky at the bottom of their shoe, it hurt your young heart. You felt apologetic simply for acting the way you always felt like you should act, for doing the things that left you satisfied after. Now, in college, no one demands classmates to get along, no one can shun you in the cafeteria and force you to eat in the library. If they don’t like you it’s fine with you, frankly it doesn’t matter. You have one goal and one goal only, and once that’s over with you can move on.

When you step out of your dorm the sun is blinding, shining down with unforgiving rays of light. All you can do is squint, tilt your head down a little and wish you had a hat. The walk to the Art’s building is long, but feels longer with how warm it is. The heat shimmies its way under your clothes and into your skin, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.

The scenery on the walk there is always breathtaking though, the pavement that makes up the pathway to the building is closed in by blades of grass that have been cut and trimmed to perfection. Rocks make up the border between them— large smooth stones that vary in size but are more or less the same oval shape. There’s an entire garden full of all types of flowers, Gardenias, Lilies, Irises, Tulips, and even some you can’t name. At the entrance of the building there are bright lights that illuminate at least 25 feet in front of it at night, and wide hedges that have been designed to look like swans, their necks curved in a way that if they were moved next to each other they’d be forming a heart. White flowers grow inside the hedges serving to make the entire scene look more beautiful, and as much as you hate walking there, the view is unmatched.

The Art building has always been your safe haven, Art in general being your home away from home. It took a long time for you to feel comfortable studying it— always caught up in the what if. What if you can’t make a living from it? What if you end up not liking it as you grow older? What if it’s not a sustainable career? Questions that still plague you often, and stop you from putting as much of your heart in it as you’d wish. These classes are somewhat self-indulgent. A way for you to escape from the hectic mess that is your life, away from the stress of work, from the anxiety of what comes next, and from the infuriating instances that continue without your control— away from the things you can’t control so you can run to things you can. So imagine your horror when you found out Hwang Hyunjin was in the same class as you. At the same time. Doing the same thing.

It felt like your escape wasn’t yours anymore, and that the stress from your day followed you everywhere you went. It wasn’t enough for Hyunjin to pester you often— he had to be everywhere you were too.

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, setting your shoulders and regain the poise you take pride in– carrying yourself with the confidence you wish you had. It doesn’t take long for you to make your way to the entrance of the building, as you walk, having been kissed by the scorching light of the sun and brushed against by dewy blades of grass. It feels surreal and staggering to be outside alone so early in the morning, yet peaceful, for you know that it will be long before you get this chance again.

“Bug!”

Oh no. no no no. You walk faster, hoping to make it inside before Hyunjin can catch up to you. Hyunjin is never this early. He either comes right on time or late to the frustration of your teachers and peers although no one would ever say it to his face. You can hear his feet against the pavement louder and louder as he comes closer to you, catching up just when you take the first step up the stairs to the entrance.

“You didn’t hear me, bug?”

“Stop calling me bug.”

“Sorry, bug,” Hyunjin laughs, putting a heavy arm over your shoulders and bringing you closer.

You roll your eyes so hard it feels like they’re gonna stick. Maybe they should so you don’t ever have to see Hyunjin again. Maybe he’d think you look scary like that, your eyes rolled up forever. Maybe then he’d leave you alone.

Hyunjin is annoying. He always acts like you’re his friend, but you know it’s fake because why would he want to be friends with you, someone who hates everything he works hard on and hates him as well to an extent. It seems overly fake and forced to you, so you don’t ever entertain it. The last thing you need is to fall for it and then be made out to look like an idiot when he eventually embarrasses you.

“It’s too early.”

“It’s never too early, pretty.”

“It’s always too early to be dealing with you,” You groan, wrenching his arm away from where it laid over your shoulders. “Why are you talking to me?”

“Why not?” Hyunjin asks, seemingly unaffected by your attitude towards him. He shoves his hands in his pockets, his shoulders raised up to his chin in a shrug. “I like talking to you.”

You snort, looking up at him with eyebrows raised, “You like talking to me, the one person— possibly in this world— who absolutely hates you, and barely spares you the time of day?” You ask, tilting your head in mock confusion. “I’m sure this is the longest we’ve ever had a conversation, but nice try.” You squeeze his cheeks, hard, and when he swats your hand away you can’t help the giggle that you let out. If his cheeks felt like dough under your fingers you’re choosing to ignore that, wiping a hand on your jeans with way more intensity than needed.

“But see,” Hyunjin starts again, “We’re having a conversation right now and neither of us wanna choke each other.”

“Speak for yourself. I’m barely resisting the urge to punt your head like a baseball.”

It’s silent for a moment before you both burst out into a fit of giggles. Hyunjin braces himself against his knees as he laughs, his hair falling over his face as he does, and you’re not much better— staggering where you stand to laugh with him. It only takes a few seconds for you both to calm down, and slowly the reality of what happened catches up to you.

“Do you even punt baseballs?” Hyunjin snorts, and you just laugh harder.

“I don’t know, Hyunjin, if you haven’t noticed I’m at the arts building not sports.” You wheeze, fighting through another laugh. “Now I’m just imagining your head flying over the gardens.”

Hyunjin lets out another chuckle but shivers a bit at the thought. He waits for you to calm down, your giggles turning into small huffs. A hint of a smile still remains on your cheeks, and the sun shines down so strongly on your features it feels like he’s seeing an angel— like divinity right in front of his eyes. When you straighten up, he can see every movement. The way you position your bag upright, the way a bit of your gums poke out from your lips. Your lips, soft, glossy, and look the most perfect in a smile. He can see the way your eyebrows lose the tension from your laughing fit, the way the crinkle of your eyes lessen as your face relaxes. He can see everything, so he can also see when your lips fall back into a firm line, when your eyebrows go back to that angry stance they always hold when you’re around him. The way your shoulders stiffen, and the grip on your bag tightens. He can see everything, and he reminds himself the only time you laugh is when he’s the butt of the joke.

“I’m going to class,” You murmur, walking the rest of the way up the stairs and into the building without looking back or waiting for him to respond. Though Hyunjin wonders what he would’ve even said.

I’ll come with you.

We can sit together.

No, you both can’t do anything together, and more and more Hyunjin wonders why he even wants to.

“You were laughing with Hwang Hyunjin? The sex demon??” Your friend hisses from next to you, stringing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You?”

“Yes, me, Jieun.” You huff. “I can barely believe it either. What did he do to me? I hate him, I can’t show weakness by laughing around him.”

“Honey,” Jieun laughs, leaning towards you, “You can laugh. Honestly the fact that you ran away after is hilarious.”

“I didn’t run away.”

“You ran away.”

“I didn’t run.”

Jieun settles on you with a heavy stare, face slack, and you roll your eyes. “Fine, I walked away.”

“I don’t know how either of you take each other seriously.”

“I don’t take him seriously.”

“Yeah you do, babe. You refuse to laugh around him. That’s very serious.”

You snort.

“And the fact that he gives you the time of day when this is the dumbest feud possible… I just don’t understand it.”

“It’s not dumb.” You sputter, smoothing your hand over the glossy wooden desk of the classroom. “It’s…” You trail off, staring into the large windows at the side of the room. You cock your head and lean forward, jaw slack when the sex demon himself waves outside. “Oh what a stalker.” You growl, throwing up the middle finger in his direction. “He’s got his little posse following him too.”

When Jieun makes to wave back you smack the back of her head and groan when she gives you an affronted look.

“What was that for?” Jieun exclaims, bringing a hand up to rub against the back of her head.

“Don’t fraternize with the enemy,” You hiss, folding your arms over your chest and staring back at your professor.

“Are you gonna explain the feud—”

“No.”

In your opinion, class doesn’t end quickly enough. You split with Jieun at the entrance, the both of you going in opposite directions, and attempt to reorder your frazzled mind. So you laughed. A lot of people laugh at people they hate. Plus, he laughed too— so why should you be overthinking it? You’ve laughed before, in situations you weren’t supposed to, and this is no different. Now you just need to make sure it never happens again. You nod to yourself as you walk, pulling out your phone to make sure Seungmin is already at the meeting spot.

The sun is still just as ruthless as it was earlier, but a light breeze grazes your skin and rustles the trees along the sidewalk and in the field in front of you. There’s a bunch of picnic tables, some occupied and some of them not. There’s groups of friends sitting under trees, some couples, some of them alone; reading or completing assignments in the nice weather. You spot Seungmin a few tables down, a brown sweater over a collared shirt and cute glasses perched upon his nose.

You take your time walking to the table, letting your skin soak in the warmth and tranquil peace of nature. When Seungmin spots you he shuffles over, giving you some space to sit next to him and you do, mumbling a small hey before knocking your head against the table.

“You’re going to a party with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Seungmin… Hi, how are you? How was your day? No, I’m not.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“Well, unless you’re going to drag me, no I’m not.”

“I just might,” Seungmin sighs, “Why are you so difficult?”

“Difficult? You’re the one being difficult. I don’t want to go and you’re telling me it’s not a choice.”

“Because it’s not.”

You let out a groan, a long torturous one that has people turning their head to a straight faced Seungmin and you who’s head is still knocked against the table. When people think it’s stopped it starts all over again, a guttural groan filled with displeasure and frustration that loosens your chest when it’s done.

“Are you done?”

“Leave me alone.”

“It’s on Saturday. I can pick you up.” Seungmin says instead of arguing.

“Today’s Thursday.” You whine, just stopping yourself from letting out another groan— one that wouldn’t ever stop for as long as you have to deal with Kim Seungmin and his annoying, snarky, bossy self.

“…. I’m aware.” Seungmin says, and you don’t even have to look at him to know he’s making a face like and so what?

“I can’t stand you, I hope you know that. No type of warning, no preparation… I don’t party. I need at least two weeks to mentally prepare myself and another two weeks to get an outfit.”

“Damn.” Seungmin says, but he rubs a hand against your back, lightly pushing you to lift your head from the table. “Listen, I’ll help you. And it’s being thrown by people I know so you don’t have to worry. I don’t think many people throw college parties a month in advance but I’ll keep that in mind.”

All you can do is nod, waiting patiently as Seungmin finishes whatever assignment he’s working on. You’ve already completed the ones you have, the pro of not having much else to do and being on top of things always. Everyday you both meet up here, either at a table or under one of the trees and talk. Read, finish assignments, or even eat snacks. There have been some times where you meet there and then go somewhere else together, rarely off campus but it happens, and you get something to eat or go on a mini adventure. It’s the highlight of your day and you’re sure it is for Seungmin too, but you’d never admit that to each other. You don’t have to, though, because you’re both always on the same wavelength especially when it counts the most.

Though now he’s given you something else to worry about, that being this sudden party. It’s no doubt being held by a frat house, and you have an inkling which house it is. You haven’t asked, trying not to pop the bubble of secureness that surrounds you. You can go to a party being held by the CSC. You can, and you will, and if it isn’t being held by them then that’s even better. You try to convince yourself you really don’t care at all, but the thought remains. Can you really enjoy yourself at a party being held by them? You don’t know why it bothers you so much or why you feel so uncomfortable having a good time around them, but you just keep repeating the same thing to yourself over and over. It doesn’t matter.

“Jieun told me what happened this morning.”

“Of course she did.” You sigh, staring ahead at the group of squirrels running up a tree. The people under it startle when leaves start to fall over their heads. “We just left each other, how did she find the time to text you all that?”

“She called me,” Seungmin cackles, braces on full display as he scribbles furiously into his notebook. “Every story I hear about you and Hyunjin is against my will.”

“Every interaction between me and Hyunjin is against my will,” You counter, shifting so that you face him. “What did she say?”

“That you laughed with him and it embarrassed you. That you’re confused about your feelings towards him.”

“So are you two my therapists now? I’m not confused. I don’t like the things he does— I don’t like his carefree attitude, how he has no problem talking to me like we’re friends. I don’t like- No, I hate the fact that so many people fucking praise him because he created some crude porn site.”

Your heart rate picks up, your hand gripping at your jeans as a poor attempt to conceal your growing frustration. “I don’t like the fact that no one else sees what’s wrong with it. We shouldn’t have a fucking porn site for college students? I don’t think we should know what we all look like under our clothes and I’m tired of everyone acting like I'm the crazy one. He’s the perverted one, the weird one. Who the fuck thinks of something like that? It’s not just him, it’s all of them.”

Seungmin ponders your words, the grip on his pen tightening ever so slightly. “Hyunjin is a good guy. All of them are, and if that’s how you feel then why do you talk to me? I use the site, I'm their friend, I’ve helped them out when making it. Aren’t I weird and perverted too?”

You sigh, “Seungmin…”

“Help me understand. Because if you can stand to be around me, then why can’t you be around them? Or try.”

“It isn’t the same and you know it. It’s easy to ignore it when it’s you. That’s them. They are the CSC to me. A reminder of everything I hate, what I want to get rid of.”

“But why the hell does it matter? People want to use the site and that’s why they do. No one is fucking forcing it.”

“You guys just don’t understand it. None of you do. It’s like you’re blinded by it or something.”

“We’re grown adults, Y/N,” Seungmin growls, “We don’t need you to be a guardian fucking angel.”

“Don’t make me out to be the bad guy, just because all you fucking care about is sex or some college sluts, like can you actually be that shallow?”

“Why is it so hard for you to see reason? Do you see how angry you’re getting at me for asking a simple question? You asked me what Jieun said and I told you.” Seungmin spits, shutting his book with a slam.

“Stop asking me about that site. Stop making me seem like some confused hateful person just because you’re too dense to understand where I’m coming from. I’m not confused, I know exactly how I feel. I try not to bring it up because you like the damn thing so much, and you can’t seem to hold the same courtesy for me.” You stand from the seat, settling a dark glare at Seungmin’s angered form.

“Fuck your friends, fuck that site. Stop talking about me like I need guidance.”

You’re not irrational. You’re not. You have every right to be angry. Seungmin is your friend. Jieun is your friend. They’re supposed to be there for you, not gang up on you. You feel alone, so alone in everything you fight for, in everything you aim to conquer— as if the things you stand for don’t matter. It reminds you of middle school all over again, of high school— having people look at you like you were something from another planet. Someone people had always failed to understand. It’s lonely. You’re not irrational.

You didn’t blow up. You’re not angry. You’re frustrated, yes, but you don’t blow up. You don’t get mad. You aren’t irrational. Anyone else in your position would feel the same, right? Anyone else would be upset because it feels like your friends always take the side of the people you despise more than anyone else. Why aren’t they on your side? Why don’t they believe you? Why don’t they understand? It makes you feel stupid. It makes you feel like you have no right to feel the way you do. It’s lonely.

You’ve never been irrational. You’ve always had a good grip on your feelings. Always. And when it feels like the grip loosens it’s always the cause of something relating to the CSC. It’s proof that it’s what the root of your problems is. It’s proof that the CSC needs to be gone so you can finally go back to normal. So you don’t feel like the odd one out. So you don’t have to feel so upset. Because you’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way. You don’t get mad. You’re not angry. You don’t blow up.

You control everything, you control your actions, your emotions, and you make sure to hold control over your environment— of how things play out for every second of your life. This feels like it’s running out of control. That the CSC brings havoc in your life no matter what— even when you try to ignore it, it comes running back to fuck you over even further. You’re not irrational. You’re not confused. You don’t get mad. You don’t. You don’t blow up. You control everything.

The sun hides right when you need it. You pretend tears don’t blur your vision, you pretend that the suddenly gloomy environment doesn’t affect you the way it does. You pretend that the once comforting breeze doesn’t feel sharp against your exposed skin. You pretend because when things run out of control that’s all you can do. Pretend you’ve got it handled, pretend that you still have a grip on things, pretend that you understand. You’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way.

You never argue with Seungmin. Playful bickering from time to time or you two being rude to each other but always playfully. You’ve never cursed at him so maliciously, spoken to him like he was someone random, as if he wasn’t your best friend. You’ve never done those things— but you do when the CSC is involved. You never get pissed at Jieun, even when she’s annoying, even when she acts like the only thing important in life is the new boy she’s talking to— You don’t get mad. You’re not mad now, but you’re something. Something fiery, and everything always goes back to the CSC. You’re not irrational. You’re just the only one who understands.

Right when you see the blurry form of your dorm building it gets blocked by a large body and you slam right into its chest. You can barely see in front of you and you know your face is screwed up into the worst form imaginable, tears falling with no control. Without your control.

“Sorry, excuse me,” You laugh wetly, sidestepping whoever is blocking your way and running up the steps to your dorm. The sooner you fall into your bed and cry this out, the sooner you can forget about it. The sooner you can apologize and move past this weird limbo of feelings. It feels like purgatory, stuck in the in between, not sure which direction you’ll end up going in. It’s full of unsureness, of frustration. It feels like a loss of control. It angers you, makes you feel like nothing is going right.

But you don’t get angry. You’re not irrational. You don’t get mad. You pretend, because that’s all you can do.

Hyunjin is confused.

The last thing he expected to see this morning was you laughing, but now, he realizes the last thing he ever expected to see was you crying. Eyes glossy with tears, a nose rubbed raw, face screwed up into something pitiful.

Hyunjin doesn’t know a lot of things. He doesn’t expect a lot of things, but most of all he doesn’t know how to continue after seeing it. He doesn’t expect to care so much, not after the way you’ve regarded him. After the way you’ve both regarded each other. He doesn’t know why he can’t walk away and say nothing when he knows he should. If he brings it up you’ll get defensive, be embarrassed, be angry. He shouldn’t say anything.

He keeps walking, frowning slightly at the gloomy clouds. It was so sunny less than an hour ago. Things change so quickly, it doesn’t make any sense. He thinks back to earlier that morning, the light that shone on your face with every laugh you let out. He thinks back to just a few seconds ago. How dark shadows fell over your face as tears ran down your cheeks.

The walk is more automatic than anything else. He doesn’t take the time to stare at the scenery, he doesn’t look at the people around him. He barely sees the ground in front of him as he walks, his mind not registering what’s right in front of his face. He’s too caught up in you. Like usual, wondering why you do the things you do, why you feel the way you feel, wanting to understand. What did he do? What can he do to make you feel better? How can he make you hate him any less? He wants to understand, he wants to listen, to talk to you, to be near you. It confuses him.

His phone vibrates, pulling him from his thoughts. It’s chan, texting about the party on Saturday, and he sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He’s so tired, tired of running around for parties, tired of attending to the site, tired of waking up early for classes. He just wants a second to sit down and relax, to not worry about you ruining the one thing he’s worked hard for, to not worry about what class he’s flunking, about what party he’s expected to attend, to not worry about why you were crying in the middle of the afternoon. He just wants a moment to collect his thoughts and free his mind.

HJ: I got it

BC: alr cool, put it in the cabinet with the lock, you know how Hyunjoon gets

HJ: Fuck, is it that bad?

BC: he’s an alcoholic bud, it’s that bad.

Hyunjin laughs a little, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He wonders if Seungmin told you about the party yet and grimaces, wondering if that’s the reason why you were crying. If it is, he’s not sure who needs to get a grip. You, for hating him so bad, or him for continuing to try and get you not to. It takes a lot of effort for him to continue the power walk back to the frat, but he arrives sooner than later, stuffing the bag of drinks inside the cabinet and locking it shut. He thinks it’s a bit ridiculous that they have to lock the alcohol up as if they have small kids running around, and also wonders the effectiveness when Hyunjoon lives in a frat house and is an adult who can buy his own alcohol.

It’s Thursday afternoon but he finds that he’s not as excited for a party as he should be. Usually, he’d be bouncing on his heels, counting down the hours for it to start, and realizing he’s so caught up in everything else going around he doesn’t feel that normal excitement that he so often does. He makes sure to fix that, shaking the unnecessary thoughts from his head, pushing responsibilities to later. He has a party to prepare for and he's gonna act like it.

The rest of the boys don’t get back till later— they’d given Hyunjin the responsibility of buying cups and drinks and shitty snacks while they went off somewhere else. Hyunjin can’t keep track of what they do especially if he’s not joining, so he focuses on doing what he’s supposed to in order to make this the best party of the year so far. His frat has always held the record of best parties— has always held their winnings in high regard as well, and he’ll be damned if he gets the cold shoulder if he’s the reason the party isn’t as good as it should be. Most of all, he’s thinking about what he’s gonna do during it.

Hyunjin is not shy on having sex— never has been, never will be, and more often than not he’s having it. Sure, that may be expected since he made a literal porn site, but Jisung also had a hand in it and he has a girlfriend. Felix doesn’t have one-night stands often, nor does Seungmin. It’s different for all of them.

He knows there’s a few girls that have been actively trying to get in his pants, knows that he’s been trying to get into theirs, but he can only hope he can focus on them for long enough to do so without thinking about you. If you come, he knows that there’s no chance he’ll think of anything else, and he’ll probably spend the entire night just getting you to laugh again. To get you to explain to him why. why why why. It’s confusing, but he pretends it doesn’t matter.

Thursday comes and goes too quickly, and Friday does as well. The day isn’t over yet, it’s only the afternoon, but the implications of that make you anxious. Make your nerves ignite far more than they should.

Seungmin didn’t answer your calls for the rest of that Thursday. Didn’t read or respond to a single text until you decided to leave him alone. Jieun called, but you didn’t answer. You think the way you felt towards her is the way Seungmin felt towards you. Maybe something worse, so you gave him space and took some for yourself, a moment to really think about what made you react the way you did. You don’t think you’re in the wrong, you still don’t think you could’ve reacted any other way and you’re not sure what that says about you.

You take another bite of your sandwich as you walk down the street from the Art store, your phone cradled in your other hand and a drink poking out from the opening in your bag. It’s hard to mentally prepare for things that you don’t know anything about. You don’t know where the party is, who’s hosting it, how long you’re expected to stay. Thought that’s if you’re even still going. You want to take Seungmin’s silence as an answer that no, you aren’t, but you also don’t want to assume that and then he shows up at your door and you’re not ready.

You don’t want to go, not at all, but if it made Seungmin happy then you would. If he didn’t come to pick you up you briefly entertained finding your own way to the party and cornering him, forcing him to hear your apology before leaving and soaking your pillow with tears. But you don’t know where the party is. You also briefly entertained the idea of calling Jieun and asking her, but you’re not interested in the lecture that would come from that. You still don’t appreciate her words about you to Seungmin and the implication of them. Seungmin is your friend, you can tell him what happened all by yourself. You don't need Jieun to play messenger.

You swallow the last of your lunch and throw the wrapper in the nearest trash can. You want to start a new painting, one that can unleash the frustrations of your life as it is right now, and you can only do that by getting some new supplies. You save up constantly for this exact reason— for the ability to buy whatever your heart desires whenever it desires it. You dip your toes into whatever interests you, and all concepts of Art satisfies you more than anything. Writing whatever you desire, taking pictures of the things you find beautiful, painting whatever you want— it gives you the control that fuels you more than anything else.

The art shop by your university is quaint, always quiet and never very full, yet always filled with high quality supplies and fully stocked. You’ve made friends with the old lady who owns it and her daughter, constantly going there just to buy something in order to catch up with them on whatever has happened since your last visit. They’re like the mother and sister you never had, people who feel more like family than your own. It’s partly for that reason that you’ve made the trek there, hoping to get some advice for the things you’ve been feeling before going to the party that’s undoubtedly being held by the one group of people you despise.

The bells above the door jingle when you step in, and you let the smell of paint, chalk, crayons, pens, and faint air freshener soothe you. It’s just as cluttered as it’s always been— stacks upon stacks of sketchbooks and canvases on one side situated next to the easels and small desks. The paints have a section of their own, oil, watercolor, acrylic, matte, and more— on the opposite side there’s pens and crayons, colored pencils, oil pastels, and sharpeners of all shapes and sizes.

The walls are covered in paint as if before bringing in all the items they’d had fun splattering the walls in color. It’s messy, unruly, cluttered, and barely organized— so it doesn’t make sense to you why it comforts you so much. When you see a small form hobble out from behind a stack of books a smile forms unbiddenly on your face, and the small old lady smiles back.

“I missed you, dear,” She scolds, wrapping you up in a hug. “It’s been too long since you’ve come to visit.”

“I know, I’ve just been busy Ms. Yang. I missed you.” You sigh, rubbing your nose in the soft fabric of her sweater. She smells like paint and flowers— she smells like home.

“Sam will be here soon, she’d love to see you.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice. I need to talk to her too.”

“I can tell, child. You look stressed.” She sighs, shuffling behind the counter and sitting on one of the other seats behind it. “Get what you’re looking for,” She says waving a hand dismissively towards you.” I won’t make you explain it twice.”

You huff lightheartedly, making your way over to the canvases and picking one of medium proportions. You’re still not sure what it is you want to paint, but you know whatever you’re feeling is strong enough that you grab Oil paint, needing something rich and vibrant and something sharper to contrast the muddled and cloudy image of your mind.

It’s before long that you settle on a brand you normally buy, and the set of bells signal someone’s arrival into the shop. You turn your head, expecting to see Sam and her long curly hair, beautiful in its volume and her tawny brown skin, but instead you’re greeted with the sight of straight brown hair, swept behind the ears of a tall man, a mole under his eye and the reason for all your problems. You don’t know why you react the way you do, but with your items cradled in your hand you sprint behind a large stack of sketchbooks and hold your breath, staring with wide eyes at the cans of paint at your feet.

What the fuck is Hwang Hyunjin doing at your shop? This is your safe place— your safe haven. A part of you curses the ground he walks on, hopes that the store is too messy and cluttered for his liking, prays that he proves he’s as shallow as the company he keeps and that he leaves and doesn’t come back. Another part of you hates yourself for being so ridiculous. For letting your personal feelings about him delve so far that you’d think something like that. Sam and Mrs.Yang deserve the business, deserve the money, deserve the customers. You shouldn’t hope for anything different— but it still amazes you how he never fails to intrude on the things you hold dear. To intrude on the things you want to keep to yourself.

You don’t move from the spot you’re in. It could’ve been ten minutes, an hour, even, or maybe it was only thirty seconds, but you only peek out when you hear Sam’s voice ring through the shop. You survey the room, stepping out from your hiding spot when you confirm that Hyunjin is nowhere to be found. Though, you don’t think you could’ve hid regardless by the way Sam calls your name.

“Hi, Sammy,” You smile, coming up to pull her into a hug. She grips you tightly, her kinky hair tickling your cheek and her clothes smelling faintly of vanilla and roses. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, hun,” Sam smiles, albeit a little sadly as she looks over your face. “What’s wrong?”

“Hey, don’t leave a poor old lady out,” Mrs. Yang huffs, “Come over here and tell us both about it.”

Without even saying anything they’ve already cheered you up, your steps feeling lighter as you make your way behind the counter and sit on one of the three seats. You sit between them both, their eyes set patiently but concerningly on you.

“I don’t know, really,” You start, and then, you tell them. About your argument with Seungmin, about how lonely it is feeling like you’re the only one feeling this way, about how much the site angers you— how it makes you feel. You tell them about Hyunjin, about how he doesn’t stop bothering you no matter how much you make it obvious you don’t want his company. How much that frustrates you, as well, and about how the lack of control over the entire situation, and over the CSC’s place in your life makes you uncomfortable, and about how the CSC itself makes you feel things you’ve never felt before and how much that scares you. You can barely describe the way it does, and who else can you blame besides its creators.

When you’re done it feels like you’ve vented a lifelong event, it makes a heavy weight lift itself off your shoulders and the heavy silence that remains doesn’t feel like judging, but rather them trying to understand— soaking up the meaning of every word you said in an attempt to place themselves in your shoes.

“I think,” Sam starts, “That your cluelessness about your feelings towards the site in general turns into anger, and the fact that the boy,”

“Hyunjin”, You offer.

“Yes, I think his attempts at speaking to you only worsen it somehow, like you’re being cornered by this weird feeling that you don’t understand and it makes you even angrier.”

“You said your friend is a part of it?” Mrs.Yang interjects, a wrinkly hand kneading your shoulder.

“Yeah,” You murmur, “He’s good friends with the group and he loves the website.”

“That probably doesn’t help then,” She continues, “If you’re surrounded by people who know what they like or enjoy something you don’t like or don’t understand, of course you’re going to feel angry. You feel like the odd one out.”

“I think more than anything you need to figure out if it’s really anger you’re feeling, and if the only reason why you hate this website is not because of its purpose but because of your lack of control over it.” Sam finishes.

“I can’t say I agree with it either,” Mrs.Yang grunts, “It’s not something I think college students need to be worrying about. Things like that stick with you, but it’s their choice to indulge in it, Y/n, you can’t control that.”

You sigh. You guess so, but you still feel like you need to get rid of it. You’ve been slacking, not paying attention to it as much as you should because of all the chaos it’s creating. It’s been a while since you’ve done a petition or made a list of ideas as an attempt to shut it down, but for now it seems like enough to just hate it. They can’t change your mind. Not Seungmin, not Sam, not Jieun, not Mrs.Yang, not Chan or Changbin or Minho— not any of them, and especially not Hyunjin. You just want to be hateful in peace and you don’t know why you don’t seem to be allowed to do that.

You leave the shop feeling lighter, but also like you didn’t actually get any good advice. Sure they validated your feelings, but that’s it. You’ve been trying to figure out your feelings. You know why you’re frustrated, and even though it felt good to be validated it also felt like a waste. You hold the bag of art supplies closer to you as you walk. The sun is setting, painting the sky reds, and oranges, and purples— and you think maybe you’ll paint that. To represent the end of the turmoil that surrounds you, as something hopeful.

You relish in the soft slope of your shoulders, in the relaxation you so rarely feel nowadays, and walk briskly to your dorm so you can fall into your bed and try to forget about the fact that there’s a party you’re supposed to be at tomorrow.

And as if the thought brought it on, your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out quicker than you’d ever admit and a relieved smile pulls on your lips when you see it’s from Seungmin.

pup: be ready by 9

you: ok!!!!!

you: i miss you

There’s no more responses but you don’t let that dampen your mood. He still wants you to go with him and that says enough. You do feel terrible about the way you acted— the way you’ve been acting— but you know it’s justified. You’re not irrational. Not at all.

If you collapse at the foot of your bed, art supplies sitting on the floor by your feet, and a paper by your head titled #686, no one has to know.

This Saturday has not been a day of relaxation for you. You didn’t have any plans, though instead of enjoying the peace you so rarely received, the day consisted of you running around your room with a frazzled energy following behind like a ghost. At first you contemplated showing up in a sweater and jeans; no makeup, no jewelry, just you and a lazy fit— but realized that would only bring you even more stares than if you dressed as slutily as possible.

It’s with a black leather mini skirt and a black, lacy, low cut long sleeve tucked inside that you finally allow yourself to relax. You’re probably dressed way too flashily for a college party, but you can’t entertain any thoughts like that or you’ll spend the next three hours obsessing over it— and that’s three hours that you don’t have. Knee length boots stare at you from the door and it’s with a sigh that you walk to the door and put them on.

There’s more reasons to be nervous than just the party, between the inevitable walk with Seungmin to the encounter you’re most definitely going to have with the CSC and all of its users, you’re out of your element. There’s not enough deep breaths to make you calm down, there’s no method available to help clear your mind. Your heart races much more than should be healthy. It feels like hell, even, and all you can do is let this plethora of nerves run its course.

When your phone buzzes with Seungmin’s ‘I’m outside’ text, it almost feels like your heart stops. Fuck, Seungmin’s gonna ask who you’re all dressed up for, gonna ask why you’re so nervous. Why are you all dressed up? Why are you even going? It’s too much, too much of not knowing, not understanding, not feeling right. What will it take to get you to feel right? Like in freshman year when your biggest worry was whether or not you were passing your classes, now it feels like that's a lifetime ago. Like you’ve encountered way too much to even consider anything like that— not that you need to worry about it anyway. It was supposed to be a carefree year for you. You’re always on top of your responsibilities, always prepared, and nothing ever changed that until you went on that site for the first and last time.

You stop, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath that’s otherwise pointless, and step out the door. You curse the day you ever went on that website. It’s why everything is all messed up now, but you rid those thoughts from your mind. You’re determined to have fun tonight no matter what, and no matter who’s there.

Seungmin waits at the door, A button-down hanging off his shoulders and jeans. His hair is combed back and he’s ditched the glasses.

“Hey.” It comes out meeker than you’d like, a little too timid for what your relationship with Seungmin is.

“Hey,” he smiles, the braces you love so much on full display. Your best friend is beautiful, and it’s with a pang to your chest, it’s with seeing him now— so welcoming and so normal with you— that a small part of you realizes maybe you have been being irrational. Maybe you have been acting too strongly, but then you remind yourself that you’ve never been irrational. Never.

“So I’m guessing we’re going to the CSC’s dorm?”

“You’ll fit right in,” Seungmin laughs, starting to walk. You struggle to catch up to him; it’s been so long since you last wore heels that it’s hard to get used to. You don’t grace his comment with an answer, simply relishing in the soft nightly breeze and the shine of the moon. The stars glitter from above you, light years away yet so visible. So sure of their stance in life. You don’t think stars blow up at their best friends, or feel confused, or feel lonely.

You arrive at the party all too soon. From a block away you could see people drunk, staggering in the same direction, and from down the street you could hear the bass of the music, but the warning signs weren’t nearly enough to prepare you for the actual sight of it. It’s like the typical house parties you’d see on TV, but louder and more nerve-wracking. People hang out in front, the music loud enough for them to enjoy even from outside the building. Lights flash from behind the window, an array of purples, greens, reds, and blues. You can see people's shadows from behind the curtains over the front windows, and you feel like you’re about to throw up.

“Oh god,” You mumble, taking a few shaky steps inside. You can't do this. You’re gonna freak out and embarrass yourself. You can almost feel the anxiety seeping from your pores, and the word no repeats over and over in your head like a mantra.

No no no no no.

You can’t do this, but you do it anyway. Stepping inside the party is a feat in itself, and you can’t tell if your hands are shaking from the strong bass of the music or because of pure anxiety. The music knocks into your body so strongly that your knees buckle, barely able to hold you upright. At any moment you feel like you might collapse.

You can’t do it but you do it anyway, taking one step and then another, and when the door closes behind you, you resist the urge to turn back and run away. The party is full of people— so full that it’s impossible to walk anywhere without bumping into someone, and despite your best efforts you do get stares. Whether it’s because of what you’re wearing or if it’s because it’s you at a party being held by the CSC… you’re not entirely sure. You don’t think it makes a difference. You try to ignore it, act unbothered, and it must work because after a while they look away, murmuring something or the other about what you’re doing there.

Seungmin drags you away from the door and to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge and cabinets like it’s his home. You take in the somewhat chill vibe of the kitchen compared to everywhere else. It’s not nearly as full, but there are couples at opposite ends acting as if it isn’t a place where food is kept.

You take a few deep breaths, reassure yourself that you can do this, and even if you can’t you’ll do it anyway. Seungmin doesn’t say anything, just pours you something sweet and fruity in a red cup and hands it over with a raise of his eyebrows. You drink it way too quickly and you know you’re gonna regret it later, but you need the effect it’ll bring. The faux calmness that’ll help you get through the night. Though with how full the party is you think that you won’t be able to see the hosts anytime soon if at all, and that’s enough to bring your heart to a stuttering stop before it resumes its beating in a much more slow paced manner. You’re still not calm, but you’re doing your best.

“Try to relax,” Seungmin chides, his gaze heavy where it bores into you. “Everything will be just fine.”

You nod, taking a more calculated sip of your drink this time. You let the music relax you instead of startle you— focusing on the beats and the melody— on the lyrics, instead of the volume and how it makes your body tremble. You can do this.

When you finally feel like you’re able to relax, Seungmin parts from you, saying there’s some people he has to see. You’re an adult, so you can handle being alone for a few minutes. Eventually, though, the few minutes turn into something longer. You wonder if maybe Seungmin is still upset with you— you didn’t speak much about it on the walk like you thought you would. Honestly, it was mostly silence, and you didn’t think much of it before but you are now. You hold your drink close to your chest, dubbing it your life line for the night.

You last all of thirty minutes before you feel like you’re getting too hot— the building only gets even more stuffy as more people arrive, all of you packaged like a can of sardines. You take the fleeting burst of confidence to leave the kitchen and go to the backyard, hoping that it’ll be a bit more peaceful (as peaceful as possible considering the music blasting), and allow the fresh air to graze your skin like a soft blanket. You sit down on one of the benches in the backyard, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. What will it take to feel at peace? Maybe there’s nothing you can do. And it’s with these thoughts that you do exactly what you shouldn’t do at a party, wallowing in self pity and confusion. You’re so caught up in these thoughts that you don’t notice when someone else joins you.

“Hey, bug.”

Your head whips up faster than what’s comfortable, and you barely hide the wince that struggles to leave your lips. Hyunjin speaks again before you can respond.

“Don’t leave, alright. Please?” He asks, sitting down beside you and smoothing his hands over his pants. “Can we talk?”

“About?”

“About us? About you? I’m tired of running in circles and I want to know why you hate me— the CSC so much.”

You’re silent for a moment, contemplating, thinking. You should get up, leave the backyard and this party altogether. You should ignore whatever it is Hyunjin has to say because he’s the reason for all this, right? Why is he always pretending he doesn’t know; acting like he wants to get to know you? Acting like it really matters how you feel. Everyone wants to understand, everyone wants to know why, but you don’t even know— but you’ll never admit it outright. You’ll never say the one thing that’s been your driven principle for the past year is something you’re unsure about. All you know is that it’s bad, that it’s made you feel ways that were foreign to you, and in order to regain control you need to get rid of it. No matter how anyone else feels about it, no matter who gets upset with you along the way. You need to do it.

Your voice is soft, but not meek. For once, you’re gonna get this entire experience off your chest. “When I first went on the site in the beginning of freshman year I was curious,” You start, glancing at Hyunjin and feeling the tightness in your chest return when you realize he’s already looking at you. “At first, I was curious, and then I was confused. I clicked on a few videos— I scrolled for a while— and I started to get this weird feeling. The more I watched the videos, the more I scrolled through pictures and posts, the feeling got stronger.”

You feel so stupid, but you continue. If Hyunjin makes fun of you he’s just proving your assumptions correct. “I’d never felt that way before and honestly, it kinda scared me, and it was annoying that I didn’t understand it. I didn’t do anything after that. I ignored how fast my heart was beating, how my body was reacting, and never went on that site again. Slowly, that confusion turned into anger— it’s not normal. The way I felt wasn’t normal, and that’s why I think that site needs to get shut down.”

“Bug…” Hyunjin laughs a little and you want to be offended, but you can tell it’s more shock than amusement. “Bug have you ever had sex? Or.. touched yourself at all?”

Your mouth opens and closes comically, but Hyunjin is patient, waiting and watching carefully for you to speak. “Is that what’s important?” You finally say, your eyebrows furrowed and you’re ready to defend yourself if need be. “No, I haven’t.”

“God, bug this is…” Hyunjin squints at you, “I think you were aroused.”

You splutter, feeling your heart rate spike in embarrassment. “What!? No. No.”

“That weird feeling? That heat in your gut,” Hyunjin says, and to punctuate he lays a large, warm, hand over your stomach. “You were horny.” This time, Hyunjin’s laugh is one of amusement, but you're too distracted by how big his hand is, splayed over your stomach and so warm it feels like it’s burning through your clothes.

“Hyunjin, the feeling— no, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Bug, if you’ve never ever been aroused before somehow, of course it felt weird. Holy shit.”

You don’t say anything, but Hyunjin continues before you can get a grip on your thoughts.

“I can’t believe this is the reason why you’ve hated us for so long, I honestly can’t believe it.”

“Hyunjin… that feeling wasn’t pleasurable. Control is pleasurable. I didn’t have a grip on anything that day and barely regained it on the days following. You can’t convince me that getting rid of the CSC won’t bring back a sense of normalcy. You can’t, and even if you’re right, I think that morally, the site is still wrong, and I’m not going to stop trying to shut it down.”

“There’s so much about the CSC you don’t know about, and there’s so much more to pleasure than control.” Hyunjin sighs, clearly more at ease now that he realizes you’re just confused. You don’t know, really, why you hate them. That’s clear. You’re stubborn though, he can tell, and even if this idea he has works— he’s not sure you’ll stop until you get what you want.

Earlier that day the CSC received an email from the dean, threatening that they’ll start looking into all that their site entails because of how often you keep badgering them about it. It’s starting to create a murmur between staff, and they’re growing increasingly frustrated. All that means to Hyunjin is you’re finally breaking through their resolve, running them down enough for them to consider shutting it down or supervising more intensely. Hyunjin can’t have that. None of them can. When Hyunjin approached you tonight he expected to have to beg— to have to plead with you to stop meddling. The site is bigger than you know, more important than some college stupidity. It rakes in a lot of cash, and he can’t have such petty reasoning stop that flow.

Hyunjin’s voice is husky as he continues and his words send an undeniable shiver down your spine “I can show you that the site, and sex by association aren’t bad at all. Mentally, you’re confused and physically, you’re pent up. We can’t have that can we, pretty girl?”

“No, we can’t.”

Wait. What? Yes, we can. Yes you can. You’ve been doing just fine right? You don’t need Hyunjin’s help. He’s not gonna change your mind because your mind doesn’t need changing.

“You can try to shut us down, but at the same time let us help you.”

“Us?” You murmur, attempting to understand what exactly is happening.

“All of us, the CSC can help you figure out what you’re feeling, right? We can help you decide what to do.”

“…You can help me?”

Hyunjin hums, removing his hand from your waist and trailing his finger along the skin just above the hem of your shirt. His fingers dip over your cleavage, tug at your necklace, up and up until your chin is in his hand, and he turns you to face him as his lips brush your cheek. “I want to see who will succeed first, so let me show you that there’s more to pleasure than control.”

He can help you. Out of all the people who ask you why, who say they want to understand but don’t try, he’s the one who’s offering a solution. As annoying as he’s always been to you, as much as he’s always embodied something you hate— the person who’s embedded such foreign feelings in your mind— he wants to help you. He wants to try, and he’s not telling you to stop your goal either. He’s not telling you it’s stupid, he’s not getting angry. He doesn’t make you feel irrational. You’re not irrational. You have a goal and it’s one you’re gonna complete, but… it doesn’t hurt to try, right? And if you succeed, if you shut them down and Hyunjin fails— if the CSC fails you’ll win. You’ll win and prove that you were right all along.

“Go easy on me.”

“Of course, bug.”

You keep your eyes downcast in embarrassment as Hyunjin whispers against your skin, his fingers gently turning your chin up and over to the point of focus. His lips. Pouty, sinfully crimson, curving upwards so surely, like they themselves know their effect on people. They look so soft, so wet. You want to feel them, and it’s as if Hyunjin’s read your mind because his lips are on yours before you can even blink.

“You just kissed me,” Your voice is airy, breathless, and usually you’d be embarrassed.

“Can I do it again?”

There’s a simmering, boiling tension both of you have been ignoring but you’ve lost the will to care about hating Hyunjin or Chan or the CSC. Momentarily, you’ve lost the will to feel much at all but a burning desire to take away any negative emotion you feel. You’re sick of it, sick of feeling confused. Last night you’d dealt with it by crying your eyes out, before that you’d dealt with it by having a screaming match with your best friend, and now you’re ready to look for something to fix it. This just might be the best way to start.

“Not outside.” You whisper, your hands clutching the fabric of Hyunjin’s shirt with such an intensity you’re afraid it’ll rip off then and there.

The trip inside and upstairs is a blur. You’re sure if anyone saw you they stared, wondering what you two were doing together, wondering what you were going upstairs for. It’s a blur, nothing is clear but what you’re going to do at this moment, and with Hwang Hyunjin of all people. Of what you’re going to do in the future, with the CSC of all people, what you’re gonna do to them— what you’re gonna allow them to do to you— that’s the only thing on the forefront of your mind. Not about who’s watching, not about who wants to know. It’s about you. You’re the one in control, you’re the one who gets to decide. You’re the one who needs to know.

Warm. You feel warm all over, pressed against Hyunjin with his thighs spreading yours open, warm in his tight embrace. Your hands are clutching at his clothes, at his arms— It’s so hot, yet somehow the constant cool air of the room makes you shiver.

“W-what do I do?”

Hyunjin chuckles, his voice the softest you’ve ever heard it. “You don’t have to do anything, pretty. Let me handle it.”

Letting Hyunjin handle anything doesn’t sound like a very good idea to you in any instance, but in this case you let him. You’re otherwise clueless in this area and frankly, if you want his help you’re going to have to accept it when it’s given. His mouth lands back on yours, a certain kind of desire running through the kiss. His hands are all over you. Trying to grab at every inch he can, and you try your best to kiss him back with equal intensity— to move your lips against his with the same fervor.

Your heart kicks up an irritating notch when Hyunjin slides a warm hand up your shirt. You can feel the way his fingers ghost over your skin with an unnatural intensity, as if his touch is amplified tenfold. And if Hyunjin had imagined this during late nights, cock shamelessly fisted in his hand as he dreamt of you pushing your panties to the side for him to enter your tight hole, no one has to know.

“Look at me, pretty,” Hyunjin growls, your eyes opening at his command against your better judgement. His pupils are dilated, staring down at you with a foreign intensity. The way he looks at you is an awakening, and with a small burst of confidence, you bury your fingers into the collar of his shirt, bringing him down for another kiss. It’s a little awkward with your inexperience, all teeth and clumsy movements until he takes the lead. His lips feel like heaven and you want them everywhere, want to kiss him forever. You want to sink his soft groans into your skin, keep the taste of him on your tongue for the rest of your days as he licks into your mouth, coaxing feelings out of you you've never felt before— kissing you into blissful dizziness.

"I wonder why you're so pretty, hm? Been torturing me for months, sweet thing," Hyunjin teases, pressing your thighs farther apart, tongue pushing against yours, his lips cherry red. You want to kiss him again. "I don’t think you really hate me, bug.”

Your breath hitches when his hands move to your skirt, slipping under the hem and holding the fabric tightly. God, you feel so bare. Like Hyunjin is looking at you from the inside out. When he pulls your skirt down slowly, so slowly it feels like time stands still, all that’s on your mind is him. His breathing, his touch, his warmth. When your pink, lacy panties come into view the chuckle Hyunjin lets out is so deep it feels like a heavy blanket over your mind, soothing you yet igniting something in you that you didn’t know existed. God, you’re in the demon's bed but you feel like you’ve gotten a taste of heaven, and when those soft, cherry red lips ghost over your skin, trailing over your pelvis, leaving light kisses along your skin, all you can do is jerk in his hold. You’re so sensitive. So, so sensitive.

His hands grip your waist tightly and his lips trail upwards, the bridge of his nose pushing your shirt up until it’s so high your breasts threaten to fall, smothering Hyunjin’s face underneath them. You shiver at the thought, those sinful lips pressing kisses against the skin of your breasts; what would it feel like? Would it feel like this? This feeling that you’re still so unfamiliar with?

"Pretty girls deserve to know what it feels like to have me right here,” Hyunjin starts, leaning down to press a trail of kisses to your inner thigh. He bites and marks along the fleshiest parts, chuckling at your quiet whimpers and yelps. You didn’t know you could make sounds like that. He slides a hand up between your thighs and rubs between your folds, still covered by your lacy panties. “Did you come to impress someone tonight?” Hyunjin murmurs, before splitting them to rub your clit through the fabric. You feel like falling as he circles between your thighs, a gasp hiccupping at the base of your throat before it gets stuck— you can’t make a sound.

You faintly hear the rustle of clothing and the absence of Hyunjin’s touch, opening your eyes to see him pulling his shirt off, biceps flexing as he does. He’s so big, and fuck, his whole body could cover your own if he really wanted. He towers over you, caging you in and surrounding you from all sides. When his shirt is off and thrown somewhere to the floor, he looms over you, his hands pressing into the bedding at either side of your head, and all you can do is gasp— your eyes widening at his proximity.

“You okay?” He whispers, and you nod.

“Yes.”

It’s breathless. It’s not you. It’s not the person who wanted nothing to do with Hyunjin only a day ago, but you want answers. You want clarity. And right now, you want this.

Hyunjin wastes no time after your confirmation, his fingers slipping under your panties and ghosting over your skin. He lets out a harsh breath at the feeling where you’re otherwise silent, trusting that he knows what to do. When a rush of cool air blows over you though, your legs close instinctively, and Hyunjin hums, “Stay with me, bug.”

“I’m here,” You respond, slowly spreading your legs back wide and allowing him to pull your underwear down until they’re hanging off ur ankle, your arousal sticks to the fabric, but with a flick of his wrist they’re gone. They’re gone. Oh god. You’re really doing this. You take a deep breath, and when a warm hand comes to cradle your cheek you lean into the warmth. It’s okay. You’re okay.

Soft lips press against your skin, tainting the unmarked flesh with bites and bruises. He paints your neck purple and blue, fingers ghosting between your thighs, tracing and playing with the obvious wetness coating your arousal. His mouth travels upwards, pressing against your own as he claims your lips in a devouring kiss. Everything is on fire, hot and burning as lust begins to entirely consume you for the first time.

A small moan slips past your lips as he dips a finger into your slick, warm cunt, and you clench around the digit almost immediately as instinct. The cool air and your nerves make your thighs tremble, but it doesn’t seem to affect Hyunjin— not at all— if the way he keeps eye contact with you while he fingers you slowly is any indicator. Painfully slow. You don’t know if this is to help you or torture you, and you can’t help the way your thighs tense under his ministrations.

The man before you reaches his other hand towards the hem of your top to pinch the edge of it between an index finger and thumb, and pulls the cloth away from your skin.

His eyes bore into yours: “This okay?”

“Fuck, the more you ask me the more nervous I get.”

“Okay, okay. I don’t wanna make you nervous.”

“Just… be nice to me, Hyunjin. Okay?”

Hyunjin smiles, and you exhale, relaxing into Hyunjin’s sheets and letting his musky cologne consume your senses as his touch roams everywhere else.

And then finally— yet all too quickly— the shirt is tugged away from your breasts and they fall freely as Hyunjin eagerly leans closer. His nose presses against one of your hardened nipples, and you watch his pupils dilate quicker than you thought was possible. He’s barely holding back the urge to fuck you dumb, and the finger that still thrusts slowly into your cunt stutters in its movements.

Look at you. His eyes roam over the look on your face, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth, bright eyes glazed over and hooded in a bliss that’s otherwise foreign to you, a particular ease directed towards him. Then he shamelessly let his eyes drop down to your thighs that tremble even harsher under his gaze. The action only forces his mind to run wild. He can’t help but wonder how you do it— looking all innocent— being all innocent but acting like you’re not. Like you’re so sure. You’re confused, god, you don’t know what real pleasure is— and it’s Hyunjin’s job to teach you. Fuck, did he want to be under you, gazing up at your through half lidded eyes, hungrily eating up the sight of you bouncing on his cock like the slut you could be.

He dipped his head down, holding your breast in his large hand and rubbing over your nipples with his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened bud. Your hands automatically perched themselves on his shoulders, and he grins, moving the finger thrusting into your cunt harsher, faster.

“Oh, god,” You moan, loud, your grip on his bare shoulders tightening ever so slight. His skin was warm under your fingers— soft and smooth and fuck if it didn’t feel good.

He groans, cock stiffening more than it already had. At this rate he was probably going to cum in his pants untouched, but he held himself back. He wanted to do this right— show you all that pleasure could be. He moved his mouth from your nipple to slip lower, down lower and lower still until he came face to face with your arousal.

“Fuck. You’re driving me crazy.”

“Oh- oh Hyunjin help me, please,” You pleaded, his shoulders too far to grip onto; your hands instead finding his hair, running your fingers through and pulling when he nosed at your clit, groaning heartily when your wetness clinged to his skin.

It’s with a lick to your clit that you wail, your thighs threatening to close, and they would have if Hyunjin’s hands hadn’t reached out to force them down, pushing further and sticking his face into your arousal with more fervor, licking and sucking with such vigor that it felt as if he was trying to devour you. Your thighs trembled with every movement of his tongue, poking and prodding at every inch of your cunt, his nose dug against your clit and for a moment it felt like you were seeing stars. Your eyes fluttered shut, your mouth letting out uncontrollable moans.

You didn’t think it’d feel this good. But, you remind yourself, control feels better. You can’t let him change that— he won’t change that.

The obscene sounds that came from his actions should’ve embarrassed you, but nothing like that came to mind. Hyunjin was relentless, and you couldn’t even think of anything more than the feeling of his hair between your fingers and his tongue slurping at your cunt.

You tried to quiet your moans by clamping a hand over your mouth, but sitting up and watching the way he sucked and licked at your arousal made your head spin. He made the action so nasty. So filthy. He was wild yet careful. But what did you know? All you knew was that it was driving you insane and you didn’t know anything could feel this good.

Besides control, of course. And you assume, the eradication of the CSC would, also.

Suddenly, your stomach tenses, your body locking up, and you quickly cream all over his tongue, shaky moans slipping through your pretty lips. Your thighs shook from the aftershock, trying to come down from this feeling. Afterwards, Hyunjin’s actions felt too harsh. He didn’t change pace at all, but it felt like your body was going to arch its way into oblivion. Unable to ignore the sensitivity of your body any longer, you pushed against his head until he stopped, attempting to catch your breath.

“You okay?”

You hum, begging the beating of your heart to soften, though as soon as it finally did you looked back at Hyunjin and saw his pants sliding down his legs. His toned, muscular legs, and it started its harsh beating once again. That wasn’t it? Of course, that’s wasn’t it, but fuck. You don’t know if you can handle anything more.

The headboard of his bed knocks against the wall as he climbs back up on the bed, moving his body closer this time and instead of only his chest hovering over you, this time his legs cage you in, one on either side, as your heart pounds itself into oblivion.

One hand supported his weight on the pillow by your head while the other was preoccupied, curled around his cock as he stared down at you— something akin to a beast in his gaze. Tip reddened and precum oozing from the slit while he groaned. The tingly feeling in your groin was coming back, similar to the fluttering you always felt whenever Hyunjin would come bother you. It intensifies when Hyunjin wraps your legs around his waist and pulls you closer to him, your body dragging the bedding from under you and you yelp.

He rubs the tip of his cock against your twitching folds, teasing actions feeling more like torture before he finally sinks in. Slowly, deliberately, but you still tense. It’s scary, having something stick itself inside of you.

“Relax,” Hyunjin murmurs, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Stay with me.”

You do your best, forcing your body to relax, as he sinks deeper and deeper still. Hyunjin grunts softly when you clench down on him, and he sighs as you blink dazedly up at him.

Pretty eyes are locked intensely on your cunt, Hyunjin watching the slide of his cock as he thrusts inside. His hair is plastered along his sweat slicken forehead, and he sinks back into your slick walls with another languid roll of his hips.

“Fuck you’re so tight, baby.”

You moan, high and light, your eyes fluttering closed in bliss while Hyunjin’s chest expands with a shaky breath. He rolls his hips into yours— sinking his cock into your virgin cunt saying the filthiest words you’ve ever known before his words break off into a moan, his tone lower and deeper than his playful one. Tonight you’re seeing a whole new side of him— a new persona. This isn’t the annoying Hwang Hyunjin who bothers you and calls you ‘bug’, this is the Hwang Hyunjin everyone else knows. The one you hadn’t met yet.

“Oh, please don’t stop— be nice to me,” You babble, your hands grabbing at whatever you can— his shoulders, his back, his hair; and that’s all it takes before he suddenly takes up a pace that’s a little faster, rougher as your pussy squelches, wet and messy while your arousal smears along your thighs and the sheets.

Your body jolts with each thrust, pussy clenching around him as Hyunjin moans—every twitch and squeeze of your pussy leaving him breathless. “Come on, baby,” He pleads, and you don’t know what to do. You’re too lost in the haze of pleasure that’s taken over you— you can’t hear past the slap of your skin and Hyunjin’s groans in your ear. You know you’re moaning, but you can barely hear yourself. It’s all Hyunjin. Him all over you, surrounding you, making you feel good.

He grunts as you clench down on him with another roll of his hips, sinking deeper into you with each thrust. “That’s it, pretty,” he grunts, “Taking me so well, fuck. So greedy for me.” And again, you feel that strange feeling before tensing up, your body convulsing and arching up as Hyunjin’s thrusts grow more frantic— harsher and harsher as he groans gutturally in your ear with one last thrust long and deep, and when something shoots deep inside, you shiver one last time before your body sinks into the mattress and Hyunjin’s weight cases you in.

You feel boneless, lethargic with your movement. You feel when Hyunjin gets off you, when he closes your legs after slipping your underwater back on. You hear it when he sighs, something light and satisfied, and you barely manage to answer when he asks you how you feel. You can’t do much more than sigh, but it seems like enough for him— like that was the exact answer he was looking for. You succumb to blissful sleep right before the door shuts behind Hyunjin.

“Hear me out,” Hyunjin sighs, a lazy smile on his features even still. You’re no joke even if you might not know it yet. “I think it could really work.”

“You want us to convince Y/n to what? Leave us alone or..?” Jeongin says, leaning against the table in the kitchen.

The party has long been over, there’s a mess everywhere but it’s empty except for the eight boys and you knocked out in Hyunjin’s bed. Jisung sits sprawled on the couch, head twisted ever so slightly to betray that he’s listening to the conversation, Jeongin leans against the table and Chan has his arms folded where he leans against the wall serving as the entrance between the kitchen and the living room.

Minho downs a bottle of water by the sink, and Changbin leans against the fridge, leveling Hyunjin with an intense look. Felix and Seungmin sit on the couch opposite Jisung where they have a full view of everything and everyone.

“She barely even knows what porn is, so I said I could convince her the site isn’t that bad— and is something she could grow to like, if not love.” Hyunjin explains, his eyebrows raising in wait for the retaliation that’s sure to come.

“Why should we?” Minho asks, with a swallow, “If she doesn’t like it, honestly what does it matter.” Heads nod in agreement.

“Listen, they’re starting to consider whatever the fuck she’s selling them at those little meetings, and I got an email about investigation if this keeps up. If we fail to change her mind, we can at least distract her enough for the heat to lessen a little.”

Chan nods, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” He shrugs, looking over at everyone in the kitchen. “We change her mind, then we got one less problem to deal with.”

“And if we don't?” Changbin asks, tilting his head at both Hyunjin and Chan. “And if this is just a waste of time?”

“It isn’t,” Hyunjin assures, “Trust me.”

The rest of them don’t argue, but Hyunjin feels Seungmin’s gaze boring into him from the couch, feels his questions burning at the tip of his tongue, begging to be let out, so he leaves before they can succeed.

“We can talk about it more later, but I think it’ll work. It’s a good deed, and I know how much you guys love those.” Some scoffs and laughs fill the room, but Hyunjin is already halfway up the stairs, a plan forming in his mind and a pleasant smile growing on his face.

a note from iris: this chapter was late because of that long ass smut scene so i hope it was enjoyable and that this wasn’t 17k worth of a snoozefest 😭 i’m sorry it’s late!! so sorry but it’s still friday even if it’s 11 pm <3<3 not beta read not nothin so pls.. spare me.. and i hope you liked it !!!

not-so-mini taglist (there’s so many of y’all !!???): @chrisbahng @seonghwatoothless @bubblelixie @199719932000 @imsuchasimp00 @hyu-hl @oddinaryfelix @raspbinniecreme @fa3body @kittykatkrissa @andreaswrld @hattorihaechan @lachinitaaaaa @j-0ne25 @bangchanbabygirlx @ni-sh @green-orangeade @sincerely-skz @exclusivej3ss @elizalabs3 @lili-kims-blog @curiousgworge @midsoulz @sawadabegum @reighlee-greaves @lotus-dly @blcar @impossiblewritingrebel @yourhwngness @idek-at-this-point-lol @multihoe-net @hyun-bun @hwan-g @ughbehavior @rindomo @awesomelycoolworld @springdeity @todolyn @meowminhosblog @hyunelixies @emotionalwreckkk-blog @seungschacco @avyskai @cvfechan @jeyelleohe @vvsmydiamonds127 @chriscentric @simpforpunzngl @be-a-spacequeen @svintsandghosts @myjisung @hanjiesgf

*** if your tag didn’t work make sure your blog is visible! if i somehow missed you when tagging i offer a sincere apology <3

Goddamn i swear this is the hottest thing ive ever read😭 y/n is so oblivious which makes this dynamic so cute and sexy;))

HOST REQUESTED: Han Jisung

«ONE NIGHT AT BACK DOOR COLLECTION MASTERLIST»

HOST PROFILE 🔸Name: Han Jisung 🔸Attracts: Deviants 🔸Characteristics: An absolute perv who's perpetually horny [Needs revision: Minho, file shit properly istfg -Chris] 🔸Why patrons love him: He finds quirky things hot.

FAIR TRADE

📜4.7K words | Approx. 20-min. read 🖤HAN x Reader 🚨Please see the series masterlist for general warnings: Perv!Ji agenda is thriving, lowkey mutual pining, sexual deviance, somnophilia, pegging, edging, oral sex, 69, cum swallowing, unprotected sex. 📻Accompanying soundtrack 💭Reblogs & comments are always appreciated and please keep in mind they are the ultimate motivation fuel. 🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!

[3 new messages] Ace

Ace We received our patron files for Valentine’s I saw a familiar name in mine🤤 I’ve missed hosting you

An involuntary smile climbed to your lips when you read the messages, more so when you saw who they came from. Jisung. The guy you had the most bizarre relationship with. 

You first met him when a ladies’ night went sort of awry. When your friends told you they found a rich vein of inspiration for you, you thought they were going to take you to see some unconventional performance art again. It could be called performance art based on how you would interpret it, but you definitely didn’t expect to spend a night at a damn host club having the best sex of your entire life.

You Thought we could set the record straight You owe me a drawer’s worth of underwear Ace Bet I need some new ones for my collection anyway You Or you can stop stealing them! Ace LMAO good one Why do you think I tease you a lot before we fuck? I need those panties soaked with you Nobody told you to taste that good You You’re a sicko Ace

Ace. A nickname you had aptly given to him because damn did that guy know how to please. Well, it was his job to please, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to subscribe to his services like he was a fucking streaming platform. 

It wasn’t easy to do that whenever you wanted because the club he worked at had a ridiculous waiting list. Even if you wanted to book him twice in a row, there were no consecutive days available, and the dates closest to each other were four to six months apart. It was proof that miracles existed when you managed to score an appointment on fucking Valentine’s Day.

It was fine, though. If it meant eventually spending another mindblowing night with him, you could settle for passing the time in between with a vibrator.

Ace And you fucking love it 💋 Nudes? You Geez can’t wait till next week? At least be a little romantic about it smh Ace Nudes in the rain? Come on baby I really miss you Spare one for your Ace You You're lucky you're a beast in bed [IMG1095.jpg]

Then one night you saw him off his work attire, chilling with his friends at some club. He recognized you, came to say hi, bought you several drinks, lost his whole entire shit when you told him you were a digital artist making adult webtoons, and when you kept teasing each other for the better half of an hour, he asked you if you wanted to get out of there. You took him home, had atom-rearranging sex outside the bounds of customer service, and everything changed after that night.

Your friends were right. Jisung turned into the source of inspiration you never planned on having. You kept drawing him. You kept drawing him a lot under the disguise of practice. His broad shoulders you loved to cling to, his narrow waist you loved feeling under your touch, his magnificent chest you loved dragging your nails on, his perfect lips you loved to kiss, his smile, his eyes, his pout, his cheeks… You dedicated characters after him. You illustrated steamy scenes after the things you really wanted to do with him. Granted, you refused to tell him about your work for the longest time, but he forced it out of you during one particularly faded night. And being one of your avid readers ever since then, there was no way he didn’t notice.

But that was all there was.

Technically, Jisung wasn’t allowed to ‘date’ in order not to hurt his reputation with his patrons, not that any sane person would agree to date an escort in the first place. He was a salesman who sold fantasies to whoever was willing to take him up on his offer, and there was fine print to be followed for that. The full knowledge that this man was unattached and could belong to anybody who wanted him was one of them.

Neither of you really knew what your relationship entailed; you just knew that you enjoyed each other’s company a lot. From afar, it looked like being friends with benefits, but even naming it so suddenly changed things and put Jisung in a compromising situation. You had opted for calling each other ‘cuddle buddies’ instead. Two people who cuddled and just happened to fuck each other’s brains out every time they touched. You didn’t want him to get into any trouble because of you, so you made it a point to never initiate anything, and you didn’t even have to, to be honest. Jisung always seemed to have an excuse ready to go to come and see you.

You still went to Back Door every once in a while to request him. The only difference was that you didn’t have to wait for months anymore to see him again.

Ace 🤯 I may have started salivating Can I come over? Please? Pls pls pls pls pls times infinity You Do you even care if you get canned? Ace OH COME ON!!! You never stay the night when you come in as a patron Let me fuck you awake again

And then he would say some shit like this, and effectively cause you to display a blue screen. Sometimes you hated how he knew exactly which buttons to press. It was pathetic to even think about it, but there was a reason you didn’t stay that you were going to take to your grave. Those appointments at Back Door were your make-believe date nights with Jisung. You just didn’t want to face the fact that he was going to do the same all over again with other people. Whenever you saw him outside the confines of that club you could still pretend you didn’t know what he actually did for a living. You weren’t judging him for it—not only did he not hide it from you, but that was also the reason you both met in the first place.

It was just more bearable this way.

You I’ll think about it when I see a photo with them Victoria's shopping bags Ace Can I come over if I buy you your precious lingerie? You Don’t give me attitude or else you ain’t getting any Ace 🤐🏃

One of these days. Maybe one of these days you could find the strength to say no to him and stand by it for once.

But it seemed like that day wasn’t going to arrive anytime soon.

“This is to replenish your entire second drawer, and this is for dinner,” Jisung handed you several brand-name shopping bags and a box containing a large pizza at your front door.

“Damn, you got here fast!” you exclaimed, genuinely surprised that he showed up at your apartment, “I didn’t think you would come at all.”

“How can I not cum if it’s you, baby?”

You slapped his arm with the bags in your hand and invited him in. After leaving the pizza in the kitchen, you walked to your bedroom to drop off the bags on your bed, and Jisung followed after you.

“Aren’t you gonna model for me?”

“No.”

“Oh, come on! Don’t you think I deserve it?”

“You’re seriously asking for a bounty for returning what’s mine?” you cocked your brows, “You’re the culprit!”

Jisung was going to answer. He actually had a really witty comeback prepared, but when you turned around and stood right next to the soft yellow glow of the standing light in your bedroom, he could perfectly make out your nipples as well as the outline of your breasts under your white tank. He spaced out so hard thinking about them bouncing that he totally forgot what he was going to say.

“You okay there, Ace?”

“Huh? Yeah um…” he cleared his throat somewhat abashed, “Low blood sugar.”

It was odd, to say the least. He was actually proud of how unfiltered he was when it came to teasing you, throwing in innuendos everywhere he could, or flat out telling you brazen things just to fluster you. You were used to Jisung being audaciously horny; not to this.

“Then pizza it is. Wanna watch something while we eat?” you started walking back to the kitchen.

“Actually, a close friend of mine has a new movie out,” he returned to his default mode after slapping himself on the cheeks, “Shall we watch that?”

“You’re friends with a movie star?”

“I mean, duh?”

You handed him two bottles of beer from your fridge and plopped down on your couch with the pizza box. As you were settling down, Jisung logged into some website and pressed play. You were more than halfway into the pizza when the actual premise of the movie finally hit you.

“Ace?”

“Hm?”

“This is porn.”

“Why would you discriminate against the hardest workers of the movie industry?” Jisung exaggeratedly protested, “Just watch it! There’s plot, and the acting’s decent, I promise.”

You didn’t know what to be more surprised about—the fact that you were casually watching porn with Jisung as if you were binging a freshly dropped season of some show, or the fact that he had a close friend in the adult movie business. You had to hand it to him; there was indeed somewhat of an interesting plot going on, chronicling how a woman was exploring her sexuality with the android ‘sex doll’ she purchased, but pornwise, things on the screen were pretty predictable. Tame, almost.

Until she wore a strap and started going to town on this guy. As the scene progressed, you gulped so audibly that Jisung turned his face to you.

“You good?” he asked with a shit-eating grin.

“Yeah!” you jumped in your place, completely taken aback by the sudden voice. You were so engrossed in the scene that you had forgotten you weren’t alone for a second, “Yeah, why?”

“You’re blushing.”

“Isn’t it natural? We’re watching porn.”

He grabbed his beer from the coffee table and sprawled on the couch with an annoyingly smug expression.

“Or, you really like what you’re seeing right now.”

You could try to be as casual about it as you wanted, but once Jisung picked up on something, he never let it go. There was no way he was going to let you live it down.

“It’s– It’s just sex,” you stood up from the couch, “I need to use the bathroom.”

“I’ll know if you’re rubbing one out in there!”

You went to the bathroom under the pretense of washing your hands, but the matter of the fact was, you were in dire need to hit your face with as much cold water as possible. When you looked at your reflection in the mirror, you noticed how much you were indeed blushing, and your heart was beating so fast. It wasn’t how sexy the scene itself looked to you—it was the thought of doing this to Jisung and him liking it that almost made you combust.

For the rest of the movie, every time you were reminded of that particular scene, you put your brain in autopilot mode, thinking about things that weren’t even remotely sexy to clear the reddish fog in your head. Chairs. Seats. Stained glass. A church service. 

But wouldn’t it be the most extremely erotic thing ever to peg Jisung during a church se—?

“ALRIGHT, let’s just call it a night. I’m tired,” you jumped to your feet. 

He didn’t protest, turned off the TV, and just followed you to the bathroom. After both of you washed up, you went to bed with Jisung cuddling you like a clingy koala bear. His warmth always lulled you to sleep faster than trying to fall asleep alone.

Yet, every time your breathing became deeper, telling him that you were long gone from the conscious realm, it always awakened something inside him. Your chest was softly rising and falling, but his heart was racing like he was running from something as fast as he could.

Jisung had no idea why the thought of making you cum in your sleep was such a turn-on to him, but it was. During one of your ‘cuddling’ sessions, he just couldn’t help himself, and when you reacted so positively to him, he immediately picked it up as a habit, or more like an addiction, and couldn’t stop ever since. It was happening again—he was getting painfully hard just thinking about what he was about to do to you.

He carefully turned you on your back, spread your thighs apart just a measure, and started to slowly slide your shorts down. When he nestled between your legs, that sweet scent that made him go berserk welcomed him again. Of fucking course he was going to steal your lingerie; did you ever try tasting yourself?

He briefly basked in the warmth radiating from your body and finally started teasing your clit with just the tip of his tongue, really, really gently so as not to wake you up. He kept it up for quite some time until he could see you involuntarily clench around nothing. It made him smile. It always made him smile watching you throb like that because of him. Jisung wondered whether he was making you see a wet dream right then. Maybe you were finally letting him cuff you to the bed, making you cum over and over again until you were a panting, crying mess. Maybe you were making him beg to let him fuck you for everyone in the club to watch. God, he would put on such an amazing show with you, but no one would be allowed to touch you. You were his to please. He would satisfy you in every way you asked until he diminished you into a puddle.

As he kept turning himself on more and more with these thoughts, his drags on your sopping wet cunt became more intense. He stopped breathing and laser-focused on stimulating your swollen clit with very fast licks until he made you cum in his mouth while you were quietly moaning in your sleep. He swallowed every last drop, but it wasn’t enough. He could never get enough of your taste. Of your scent. Of your body. Of you.

The sight of your pulsating pussy oozing under him, covering your folds with heavy gloss through and through was enough to make Jisung lose his mind. His salivary glands were working at full force watching you contract hard like that. He took off his boxers with careful movements and gingerly slid into you. When he started fucking you even with those languid thrusts, it felt so damn good inside you that he knew he was in so much trouble. The urge to drill you into that mattress was so fucking real. You were definitely going to wake up.

And when he couldn’t control his pace anymore, you did.

“Wanna go faster?”

“Ah, fuck! Go b– Go back to sleep, baby.”

“While feeling this good?” you sighed contently, “I don’t think so.”

When you grabbed him by his waist and pulled him closer, Jisung buried himself into you with one sharp thrust until he reached the very end of your walls.

“God, I just love fucking you awake!”

“You’re a sicko, Ace,” you sleepily smiled. 

Jisung lowered his body to be closer to your face and reciprocated your smile before kissing your face off.

“And you fucking love it, baby.”

Valentine’s Day. That fucking corporate Hallmark holiday which was the peak of consumerism and blah blah blah…

None of those were the reasons this particular day got on your nerves. It was how the passionate filler episodes you released every February 14 could not be further away from reality. You usually spent this day alone, pretending you were ‘protesting’ it, when in fact it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to spend it with someone you liked. Maybe go on a disgustingly romantic date, do cheesy shit like holding hands while walking on the strip, and come back home to eat heart-shaped chocolates off of each other and fuck all night.

This year, you were indeed spending it with someone you liked under less than favorable conditions, but at the end of the day, you were spending it with Jisung in his suite at the club, so who the fuck cared?

“I have a surprise for you,” he declared while refilling your champagne glass.

“What is it?”

“I prepped myself for today.”

You checked him out from head to toe to notice some change, but besides the undercut he got, nothing really seemed different.

“Chanel suit, blue hair, and a tight belt to accent that waist,” you took a bite from the chocolate soufflé in front of you, “Looks like your usual host attire to me.” 

“Not like that,” he grinned and leaned into the table, “I have a plug inside me right now.”

When you dropped your spoon, it hit the thick porcelain plate so loudly that Jisung flinched in his place.

“W-why? Why? Why would you do that?”

“Let’s just say a little inspiration from last week,” he casually responded and took a sip from the bubbly drink, looking directly into your eyes in the meantime.

Your lips parted in surprise, but once the initial shock cleared, you started laughing hysterically. This man and his going overboard shenanigans… It reminded you of that one time you told him you were craving something sweet, and he brought back a two-tier chocolate cake after disappearing for an hour.

“Can’t fucking believe you would go that far for—”

You didn’t finish that sentence. You wanted to say for me but obviously, it wasn’t for you. It was for a patron. A paying customer. 

Jisung examined your face for some time, downed his remaining drink, and extended his hand to you to get up. He gently pulled your chin towards his face and started kissing your chocolate-flavored lips, very unlike his usual M.O. He usually lived up to his ‘horny’ rep—everything was on the fast lane with him. Sloppy sometimes, but always lustful.

But that particular night, he was kissing you so slow and deep that you got scared. You knew there was no more room for you in his life than you already occupied, so you really really wished there was a ‘Stop falling in love’ button somewhere at the back of your head to smash it until it broke.

“Go crazy on me.”

Rather than ripping the clothes off of each other like you always did, you both took your sweet time this time around. You felt yourself melt in his mouth with every button of his shirt you loosened. He felt his temperature rising the lower he dragged the zipper of your dress. There was something in the air condensing dangerously, prompting that kiss to escalate to sucks on tongues, bites on lips, heavy breathing, silent exhales turning into soft moans, and wetness on skin. Passion distilled at least six times to reach its purest form. 

Jisung placed the harness of the strap around you and pulled you to bed with him before you could even begin to feel self-conscious. He carefully took out the plug that was stretching him open for who knows how long and spread his legs for you.

“Do whatever you want to me.”

You almost lost your mind over how eager he seemed to be for this. You grabbed the lube bottle on the nightstand to get him comfortably slippery and then began pushing inside with shallow, careful thrusts.

“Tell me something,” you asked as you worked him deeper, “Why do you keep stealing my underwear?”

Jisung closed his eyes with a demonic smile and licked his lips before answering.

“So that I can feel you on my tongue when I’m masturbating to you, why else?” he snapped his eyes open and stared right into your soul as his hands sneaked to your inner thighs to lightly caress them, “I’m gonna cum untouched to your taste one of these days.”

“Do you masturbate to me a lot?”

“All the time,” he sank his fingertips into your supple flesh, “I want you, baby. I want you so bad.”

Who wanted the other more was up for debate. Jisung hadn’t really done anything to you besides kissing you and touching you from the waist up, but you were aroused out of your mind with just the way he talked to you. As he kept egging you on like that, you began fucking him faster, and the one thing you kept replaying in your mind over and over again for the entire week actually started happening right before your eyes.

The same moans when he woke you up from your sleep. The same sharp hissing sound when he hit that spongy spot inside you. The same enthusiasm when he buried his face between your legs. The same excitement when you told him you were about to cum. 

He liked getting fucked by you.

“Oh, god, don’t stop. Harder. Fuck. Fuck!!!”

“No,” you instantly slowed your pace way down, “Not this fast.”

Who the fuck knew when the next time you could do this was going to be? Of course you were going to savor it. You wiped the beads of sweat on his forehead and kissed him as he kept touching everywhere on your body he could put his hands on. You loved his muffled, impatient moans against your mouth.

“Please,” Jisung kept panting between the kisses he was drowning you in, “Please, don’t stop.”

“You like that?”

“I fucking love that,” he emphatically responded, “Touch me there.”

He guided your hand to his throbbing cock, rock-hard and leaking with his arousal. He was so sensitive to your touch that one light brush of your fingers against his skin and he let out a loud whimper.

“Please,” he started begging in earnest while wrapping your fingers around his girth, “Please, baby. Can’t you see how hard I am for you?”

You smiled. Jisung was expecting you to cave, but you pulled out instead. His frustration was painfully apparent from that deep groan he let out. You undid the harness and removed the dildo from the o-ring. He was anticipating your every move, waiting for you to show some mercy and push him over the edge to get him to his delicious release.

“What if I kept fucking you,” you slowly climbed up his body, “but your dick was down my throat?”

You saw that maniacal glint in Jisung’s eyes. He was moments away from snapping for good and unleashing the beast mode. You knew for a fact whatever he said he would do past that moment was not going to be pretend; he would actually do it.

“Sit on my face before I cuff you to this bed and make you cum till you pass the fuck out.”

He lifted you up from your arms to prompt you to do as he said, and you could do nothing but oblige. He pressed your hips down on his mouth and finally felt the taste he never stopped craving on his tongue again. Those warm, wet glides all over your pussy… They were fucking everything. 

As he kept getting you dripping wet between your legs, you lowered your body to take him in your mouth and started fucking him. The vibrations of his soundwaves worked better on you than your best vibrator. The more hungrily Jisung was licking all over your pussy with obscenely wet sounds, the further you took him down your throat. You started fucking him deeper and rolling your hips on his mouth for more friction. When he felt the frequent contractions against his tongue, he started lapping at your soaking wet cunt at full force, and you felt warm strings of his cum squirting in your mouth. Needless to say, this particular orgasm was going to make it to the top three of your bangers list.

The post-coital protocol of your visits to the club was pretty much the same. Pillow talk with Jisung, shooting the shit about whatever, showering together, you dressing back up again and leaving. This time around, when you started putting your clothes on, he started getting dressed with you.

“What are you doing?” you asked him in surprise.

“I’m coming with you.”

“Why?”

Jisung heaved a very annoyed sighed and facepalmed himself out of pure exasperation.

“Can’t fucking believe you’re gonna make me spell this out. You actually thought you were just extremely lucky to get an appointment here on goddamn Valentine’s Day?”

“I mean… Yeah?” you took a moment trying to decipher what he meant, “You guys are usually insanely booked, so I did consider it extremely lucky. How else would I be able t–?”

“ME!” Jisung threw his arms to the side and yelled impatiently, “It was ME! I’M the one who begged Chris to let me host you on Valentine’s Day.”

Oh, there was simply noooo fucking way in the universe…

“Shut up.”

“Yes.”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP! REALLY?” 

Miracles, huh? Did they really exist, or did they just appear in the form of Han Jisung every once in a while?

“And he was… okay with it?” you asked, eyes still wide open.

“He said it was getting painful to watch how obvious we were being.”

“What do you mean how obvious we’re v—”

“Everybody here reads your webtoon, baby.”

“You fucking BLABBED?!”

Oh, great, now you had multiple reasons to be mortified because why the fuck wouldn’t you?!

“Felix found it! Said he was looking for inspiration for content, whatever the fuck that means,” Jisung patiently explained, “I told him only after he did rounds with everybody and said the main character looks exactly like me.”

Who knew? If you handed a copy of your collected works to the other hosts here the first time you walked in, would your restlessness have ended sooner? Would you have had the guts to tell Jisung that you were actually falli—?

“But… You’re not supposed to…”

“I know,” he flashed one of his bright smiles to you and pulled you closer to him from your waist, “So? Can I take you out?”

“Good luck trying to find somewhere on, what was it, goddamn Valentine’s Day,” you scoffed with as much pettiness as you could squeeze into that sentence. Jisung wasn’t even fazed at your retort attempt.

“That’s really cute. We have a reservation at Chiara’s in half an hour.”

“How the fuck?! It’s 10 PM!”

“They know.”

You scanned him from head to toe with a dubious look, “How are you so sure I’m not gonna say no?”

“Then I’ll go get shitfaced by myself,” he uttered very matter-of-factly and shrugged, “But you’re not going to.”

“Just how would you kno–?”

“You like me,” he plastered that annoying shit-eating grin to his face again, “As in like me like me.”

You could actually feel your face burn like a fucking radiator and you had zero snark left in your pocket to hit him with. All you could produce was a bunch of incoherent sounds. Jisung took the matter into his own hands and ended the discussion right then and there.

“Now we’re gonna go and critique tonight’s performance over some drinks. If you tell me why you drew Peter getting pegged in this week’s episode, I’ll tell you the reason why I’m considering quitting.”

So the declaration that he wasn’t even slightly oblivious to how you were feeling about him was not the biggest shocker of the night, huh?

“You would… You would actually quit?” you hesitantly asked, scared to hear an actual answer.

Jisung pressed his lips against yours and kissed you for a long time in response.

“It’s only fair trade, baby, don’t you think?”

AUTHOR'S NOTE

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Yes, hello. I'm back and in full thot mode so I'll see you around.

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THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF ME GETTING ASKS = ME POSTING. IT HELPS ME WITH MOTIVATION YALL KEEP ASKING ME FOR LINKS AND I'LL PROBABLY GET TO YOU( ╹▽╹ )

Been missing your links 😢😢

Honestly same babes, so here's a jeongin link just for you (◠‿・)—☆

Jeongin hard thought visualizer

Hear me out, Jeongin is VOCAL. Duh vocalracha... Anyways the way i know this is how he would moan when you make him cum in you. So in conclusion, Jeongin is a vocal man but even more so when he's cumming in you<\3

<3

If you like my content and would like to support me you can tip me! Or just like my post! That works too.<3

Something about this dynamic makes me go absolutely insane:')

♡ promises with felix

↳ pairing: felix x reader ↳ word count: 2.3k ↳ genre: smut ↳ summary: you shouldn't make promises you can't keep aka felix wants his reward now ↳ warnings: smut [unprotected intercourse, use of a butt plug, mentions of pegging, creampie] ↳ masterlist ♡ updates ♡ read on AO3

if you want to support my writing, you can buy me a coffee here and let me know what you think about it here. thank you! ♡

Don't make promises you can't keep, you tell yourself once more when your phone vibrates, the screen showing yet another text from your boyfriend.

Felix: when am i getting my part of the deal?

You kind of hate this deal you’ve made, mostly because you’ve played yourself like a fool with it. You thought you were being smart when you gave him the butt plug and asked him to wear it tonight when you hung out at his friends’ place.

“What’s in it for me?” Felix mumbled into the kiss, not even protesting about the toy.

“You get to come inside of me,” you offered so confidently. “How does that sound?”

You did it thinking the toy inside of him would make your boyfriend stutter and squirm, which would only turn you both on. But, instead of that happening, you’re the one squirming in your seat, pussy clenching around nothing at the texts Felix is sending you. That’s the thing—you should be the one in control now. In fact, you are the one in control, as per your initial agreement when entering the relationship.

Control is a fickle thing. When you first started having sex, you thought the one who fucks gets to set the tone and steer the whole thing, which was never you. Then, you suddenly realized that was kind of unfair and that you want to exert control, so you sought out guys who enjoyed letting go, who let you do whatever you wanted and make them beg.

That only happened twice before Felix, and he turned it all around for you. You’ve never seen someone be so snarky and in control while getting their ass rammed by a toy—no one but Felix. To him, letting you play with him, letting you finger and peg him, calling him your pretty baby were rewards, not punishments. He saw nothing emasculating about letting you fuck his ass or call him pretty. In fact, he loved it, which is what confused you so much.

You’ve never had a guy talk back to you while you fucked him, never had someone who sounded so in control while keeping their cheeks spread so you can push your strap further into their hole. But that always happened with Felix. You’d fuck him and ask him if it feels good, or something similar to that, even though it was clear he was feeling amazing—his cock would be hard and leaking, body twitching under yours, toes curling as he kept his knees in the air. So, you’d tease him about it, “Ah, you’re so hard... Must like being a slut for me.”

And yet, he’d chuckle and mutter in that low tone of his that got you going, “Feels perfect... Hard enough for you?” he’d look down at your hand wrapped around his leaking cock. “Bet you want to feel it in you while you fuck me, huh? I’m sure you’re so fucking wet I’ll slide right in once you’re done fucking me. I know you want me to fuck you just as hard as you’re doing me right now.”

And poof, any semblance of control would slip through your fingers, Felix leading conversation from then on, praising you for fucking him instead of you praising him for taking it so well.

You’re not sure why you thought tonight would be any different, though. The butt plug was a new thing—you wanted him to wear it in public and maybe squirm a bit. Yet, Felix was making you get wet and act awkward, so much that Jisung asked you if everything was fine.

You started it, though. Earlier, an hour into this hangout, you texted Felix, wanting to check how he was doing:

You: how does that butt plug feel in you, baby?

You thought you were doing something with it, that Felix would look at you with widened eyes and look away in shame, giggling with pink cheeks. To your misfortune, he wasn’t ashamed at all.

Felix: it feels good. not as good as your fingers in me, though

The second you read the text, you had to press your thighs together to alleviate the pressure bubbling between your legs. Fuck, he knew what to say to get you going. 

Getting to massage his prostate while jerking him off or sucking his dick was a favorite of yours, mostly because you got to see Felix fall apart. He always did it so readily too, never trying to spite you or be bratty. No, if you wanted him to beg and even cry, he would. He’d do anything to please, yet he also enjoyed teasing you.

He’s been texting you similar things since then, pausing for five or ten minutes, letting you relax and talk to people before telling you something nasty again, something that would get you going.

Felix: i bet it will feel so fucking good to fuck you with this thing inside me

Felix: i’ll give you such a big load, baby, i promise

Felix: that’s what you want, right? that’s why you promised me i’d get to do it here

After that text, Felix gives you a smirk that makes you clench your jaw and look away. You want him and you are sure people will notice if you keep looking at him like you are ready to devour him.

Felix: you want to feel me in you even after i pull out

Felix: you’re so dirty it’s hot

Felix: when are we doing it

The texts keep coming, and you tell yourself never to make a promise like this again. You rarely let Felix come inside of you, but that’s not the issue here. You’re on birth control, so you’re not afraid of pregnancy. You two are exclusive and clean, so you’re not worried about that either. It’s that you’re at Jisung’s place, surrounded by Felix’s friends, and you can’t just go to one of the rooms and fuck. You thought the idea was kind of hot back home when you made the deal, but now that you’re here, you’re worried someone’s gonna hear Felix fucking you stupid.

Yet, you promised, and he held up his end of the bargain, still is. At one point, your boyfriend walks over to you and sits down, hand wrapped around your shoulder as he pulls you in for a kiss, mumbling into it, “Can’t wait to feel you.”

“Can it wait until we get home?” you whisper back, hoping he’ll give up on the deal.

“Baby,” he whines into your ear, nose nudging your cheek, hot breath fanning your face and neck. “I’ve been so hard all this time, my underwear is all wet... Want to come in you so bad. Will you let me, hm? Want to have my cum in you?”

“God, Felix,” you grunt, even though your walls clamp around nothing in desperate need of him.

Twenty minutes later, Felix gets you to give in and go to the bathroom, following quickly behind.

You’re excited to have him but terrified of getting caught, so you mutter at him as soon as he locks the bathroom door, “You have to be quick, though.”

“Oh, I will,” Felix mumbles, the sinister chuckle telling you he’s got something in mind.

Before you know it, he’s turning you around, pushing your hips into the sink as his hands work on your zipper. The next second, your underwear and jeans are pushed down your thighs as Felix’s hand sneaks between your bodies and to your crotch, fingers immediately finding you embarrassingly wet.

“Oh, I knew you were loving it,” Felix grunts, getting his cock out of his jeans with his other hand, but you can’t focus on that, not when he’s running his fingers across your slit, getting you even more worked up. “Can I fuck you?”

“Yes,” you say, knowing it can’t last long, knowing you can’t come this time, knowing there’s no time. If it were up to Felix, he’d eat you out to get a couple of orgasms out of you before he even puts his dick in, but his friends are in the other room, and he’s just getting his reward. “Just... Quick.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I can be quick when I want to,” he says sweetly as he positions his cock at your entrance, mouth pressing kisses into your neck. “I wanted to fuck you all night.”

“Does the toy feel good?” you ask him, even though you’re sure he’s ecstatic over it.

“Like I said, great but not as good as you.” With that, Felix pushes his cock into you fully, eyes rolling to the back of his head. The butt plug is applying pressure inside his ass while your walls are clenching around his cock, making him get weak in the knees instantly. “Fuck! Damn, this feels good.”

“What is it, baby, too much already?” you tease, even though you’re not immune to the feeling of his cock in you either, especially when he moves it so nicely, slowly fucking into you, letting you adjust. You're sure the double stimulation feels even better.

“Teasing, are we?” Felix asks with a cocked-up eyebrow and a tinge of playfulness in his voice.

The next second, he’s grabbing your leg and making you place your knee on the sink so he can enter you from a different angle, one that immediately gets you to arch your back into him. It's deep, and you weren't ready for him to start fucking you like this, not in Jisung’s bathroom, so you moan loudly, taken by surprise.

Realizing you forgot where you are makes Felix go even harder. “Yes, that’s right... Let me hear you... Love to hear how good I fuck you.”

“Almost as good as I fuck you,” you tease again, clenching around him on purpose, your hand flying down to play with your clit.

When Felix sees that, he tsks at you, swatting your hand away. “Baby, you have me for that,” he tells you as he spits on his fingers and moves them down to your clit, wet and ready to touch you. His other hand keeps your hip in place, fingers digging into the skin.

“Felix!” The second his glistening fingers make contact with your skin, you moan again, kicking your head back. It’s early in, but you’re already done for, and you want Felix to get you off.

His cock just slides right in and out every time, coated with your juices. You’ve been wet for hours now, imagining how good Felix feels with the toy inside of him, thinking about how much you wanted to finger him and suck him off while he moans and becomes putty in your hands.

It’s funny how he’s in control again, even though he’s the one with a toy in him. “Gonna come for me already?” he asks you as the fluttering of your walls gives you away, eyes staring into his reflection in the mirror, glued to the way his plush lips fall open as he moans into your ear. “My cock makes you feel that good?”

“Perfect,” you mumble, hand placed over his. You’re not helping him touch you—you just want to touch his hand and feel like you have some sort of control still. “Wish I could fuck you too.”

Felix snorts at that and starts moving his hips faster, slamming himself into you, your juices dripping down your inner thighs because of the way he pulls all the way out. It’s too much when paired with his nimble fingers on your clit.

“Be good and come for me now,” Felix hums in your ear gently, his voice in stark contrast with the sharp movements of his hips and hand. “I'll come right after you, and we can go back... You'll fuck me when we get home, I promise.”

“Don't make promises you can't keep,” you grunt, face frowning as your body clenches, orgasm closing in.

“Like you?” Felix quips, smacking your clit, which doesn't do anything to ruin the moment—it only makes you hornier, if possible. By now, Felix's cock makes a wet sound every time it moves in and out, revealing how embarrassingly wet you are because you're fucking him in his friend's bathroom. “You will keep your promise, pretty, won't you?”

When you hum in response, Felix starts rubbing you again, this time applying more pressure. At the same time, he opts for pushing his cock deep inside of you and moving only a couple of inches back before plunging into you again, knowing he hits all the spots that feel good that way.

You notice beads of sweat along his hairline, one dripping down the side of his face, brows scrunched as he focuses. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm coming—”

It's a quick but powerful orgasm, one that makes you grab the sink so you don't fall onto Felix. But, he doesn't stop even though he usually would have. Instead, Felix wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his frame and pumps his cock into you from behind. His thrusts are sharp and fast, grunts getting deeper, low voice struggling when calling your name.

“You're gonna fill it up for me, hm?” you ask sweetly, knowing how much Felix loves coming inside you. “Give it to me.”

“Yes, yes,” he keeps mumbling into the crook of your neck, breath tickling your skin. Unprompted, you reach back and grab his ass, giving it a light squeeze before finding the end of the toy that's sticking out of his hole a bit from all the thrusting he's been doing. “Oh, fuck, fuck! Baby, I, fu—aaah!”

With you pressing the butt plug into his ass, Felix releases inside of you, overwhelmed by the feeling of your warm walls milking him dry, of you obediently taking his cum even though you're at Jisung’s, even though it will probably keep trickling out of you and onto your underwear, make you sticky and wet, remind you that Felix owns it.

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WHY DIDN'T SOME ONE LET ME KNOW I HAD THE LINKS BACKWARDS THE ENTIRE TIME ITS BEEN UP😮‍💨💔

can we get a seungmin and huening link please <3

Kpop hard thoughts visualizer

Seungmin helping you bounce on him so you can cum ft. being obsessed w ur ass <3

Kai doesn't get to feel your pussy around him until he's helped you squirt first </3

This is my latest ask I'm sorry love</3 i hope this is okay pretty ❤️

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