I still can't believe that Tommy "Karate" Pitera, the mafia boss who was also a karate champion and who killed people by doing karate on them, was a real person. That's not a combination of traits a real guy has. That is a Metal Gear character. That is Chuck Norris playing the heel in a Bruce Lee movie. But no, there was a time not that long ago when people on the mean streets of Brooklyn might whisper "Hey, watch out for Tommy Karate, he'll kill you with his bare hands" with the gravest seriousness.
It was bound to happen at some point. Traveling through rain, heat, and snow was going to lead to you getting sick. It started off small. You woke up to your arms and legs aching, but you brushed it off. You spend your time walking from place to place, if you felt a bit sore that was expected. Then your head started to hurt. A dull ache behind your eyes. Maybe you weren’t drinking enough water. It had been a while since you had a break. For every little thing there was a reasonable explanation.
It wasn’t until you woke up gasping for air that you were finally willing to admit that you were sick. Nose stuffed to the brim, clothes drenched in sweat, and forehead hot to the touch you couldn’t remember ever being so sick.
When you don’t get up early that morning, DO / Wukong knows that something is wrong. If you hadn't already woken up before him, then it wouldn’t be long before you were up. Looking over at your flushed face, his brows furrowed in worry. When he pokes and prods you and doesn’t receive much of a reaction except for a grunt, his tail flicks in worry.
Destined One
[-] He can instantly tell that you're sick. And while outwardly he doesn’t seem bothered, the way his tail flicks around and his raised shoulders were enough of a sign to tell he was worried.
[-] Feels completely out of his depth about what to do. Sure he helped take care of the younger monkeys back home, but didn’t know if that could be used on humans. The last thing he wanted to do was make you feel worse.
[-] You’ll have to guide him for a bit. Tell him what you need and he’s on it. With the same focus he has when fighting, he’s going to do everything to make sure you get better.
[-] Is the sun too bright and making your headache worse? Be prepared to be carried somewhere with shade and be handed water.
[-] Not able to stomach anything. He’s going to make the blandest most flavorless soup imaginable just so that you can eat something.
[-] Doesn’t want to leave you side if possible, but he knows that he needs to get you medicine. And as the day progresses and you don’t seem to be getting better, he starts to get more nervous.
[-] Ultimately both of you choose to go to the Zodiac Village. Maybe they’ll have something to help you get better.
[-] And if while you're bundled up, tea cup in hand, you notice DO take note of what herbs and plants can be used for medicine for later, then you’re willing to pretend you didn’t notice.
[-] Everytime you take a nap, exhausted from being sick, DO hovers by your side. He’s there ready to get anything you need when you wake up.
[-] By the end of the night, feeling much better your head rests comfortably on DO lap. He gently runs his hands through your hair, easing your headache. And if, when you wake up tomorrow morning you notice DO with a runny nose and cough, then it only makes sense for you to return the favor.
Sun Wukong
[-] You're taken aback by how effortlessly he assumes the role of caretaker. And when you tease him about it in between coughing fits, he’s quick to remind you that he did look after the many cubs that lived in Mount Huaguo.
[-] Brings you fresh washcloth to put on your forehead, he’ll even go so far as to help you bathe if you let him. And with how gross you feel, you’re willing to take him up on that.
[-] He’s gentle with the way he washes your hair, makes sure the water is nice and warm to help you breathe better.
[-] Grabs the most comfortable clothes he owns and makes you wear it. He can’t have you wearing your dirty clothes, and if a blush covers his face when he sees you wearing his clothes, then well that’s just the sickness making you see things.
[-] Won’t leave your side no matter what. He’s sticking by you until you get better. And in the off chance that he does need to leave, Wukong makes sure to have a clone looking after you.
[-] Brings you fresh fruit for you to eat. Cuts it up into small pieces and hand feeds it to you. In his words, “A sick mortal like you should feel proud to have a king at your beck and call”.
[-] If you have to move around, he’s going to carry you. Won’t let you do anything even when you insist you can.
[-] When you’re not looking or taking a nap, you don’t notice how his brows furrow in worry. Maybe he should go and steal one of those immortal peaches or pills from the Celestial Court. He won’t do it now, but it’s something he’s going to be thinking about once you get better.
[-] And when the day is finally over, feeling rested and better, you comfortably lay your head on Wukong’s chest. The rise and fall of his breathing lulls you to sleep.
Women in Shakespeare
Happy Crowy Yule! It's a reall whose who of Yuletide.
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I can understand how "modern person thrown into the past gets by pretending to be a healer/doctor" is as surprisingly common of a trope as it is. I mean I'm fluent enough at bullshitting to be pretty sure I could pull it off to impersonate a doctor in any time pre-1800s. If I have no idea what something is or how to treat it, I could just get the opinion of the other whatever-passes-as-medical-professionals around, but if their suggestions sound like bullshit I'm not doing it. And I'll beat the shit out of anyone suggesting bloodletting or mercury. With my healing stick. I've tied little bells on it, that jingle comically with every smack.
The awesome curative powers of my healing stick come from two separate sources: Placebo, and me using it to beat anyone trying to give my patients mercury.
also speaking of jakub różalski this painting of his is my FAVOURITE like yes girl snitch on the knight!!! get his ass!!!
This looks like a fucking parody post, or an edgy edit, but it’s 100% official real Flintstones.
Twitter (2020) VS the Hays code (1930)