Something My Therapist Told Me That Personally Has Been Rather Helpful Is That Coping Skills Are Not

How each type look during an argument

This is GOLD

hi i was wondering if you had any skincare product reccomendations, i've never done skincare before and i don't really know where to start. i know i have sensitive and relatively dry skin.

i have a suncream that has spf 50+ which i think is good but do i need a specific one for my face? i apologise for all the questions but any advice would be amazing!

thank you!

💛

Hi darling!

Skincare is a tricky thing, because everybody's skin is different and as such has different needs. What works for one person may not work for another.

Firstly, you should start with my top skincare tips post so you understand the basics, function of ingredients, and which products are essential or not. You can also check out my skincare tag if you're interested in additional reading.

That being said, here are the basics from my routine and what currently works for me:

Morning routine:

Vitamin C serum: La Roche Posay - Vit C10 This helps brighten complexion, softens skin and helps to fade any blemishes, scars, etc. Pro tip: keep your Vit C serum in the fridge, Vit C tends to oxidize and turn orange with time, even if i doesn't affect its efficiency.

Sunscreen: La Roche Posay - Anthelios for Face SPF50 This is what I've been using for 2 years now, it's popular for good reason. Although I will say they recently changed the formula from completely dry to a little oily, and I prefer the former.

Night routine:

Cleanser: CeraVe - SA Smoothing Cleanser This is a chemical exfoliant (with Salicylic Acid) which is great for acne or break-out prone skin, to be used 2-3 times a week. For daily use I recommend CeraVe's classic cleanser, the Hydrating Cleanser.

Moisturizer: Bioderma - Hydrabio Riche Gentle, moisturizing, rich but not greasy. I always go back to this. (It's for dry skin, but if other readers have oily skin, try the Hydrabio Legere version instead.)

Skin-barrier repair (optional): La Roche Posay - Cicaplast Baume B5 This is a holy grail if you have damaged skin from using too many products, exfoliants, sunburn, etc. It's very gentle and soothing, and really does improve skin overnight. You can use it for face, body, even lips, but for that I prefer the product below.

Skin-barrier repair for lips (optional): La Roche Posay - Cicaplast Baume for Lips This is my go-to for intense hydration and repair (ie. chapped lips, wore drying lipstick all day, etc). Leave it on overnight and you'll wake up with smooth, plush lips ready for the day.

Retinol: The Ordinary - Retinol 0.2% in Squalane, CeraVe - Resurfacing Retinol Serum, La Roche Posay - Effaclar Adapalene 0.1% Topical Retinoid Retinol essentially regenerates your skin, helps with fine lines, wrinkles, scarring, etc. I'm still looking for the best retinol product, but I would recommend either of the above, all of which are direct recommendations I've found by dermatologists via Youtube or IG.

Conclusions

The only essentials you need are: cleanser, sunscreen, moisturizer. Everything else helps, but isn't necessary.

If you choose to add new products to your skincare routine, always add 1 at a time. That way you'll know which one is or isn't working for you.

Create the skincare routine that works for you. Don't go running after trends and trying out a hundred different things. Only test 1 product at a time, and when something works for you, keep it in your routine.

If you can afford it, reach out to a dermatologist to recommend products that are tailored to your needs. Most of the products listed were recommended by my dermatologist for mine.

If that's not an option currently, start following board-certified dermatologists on social media instead of taking advice from random people online as fact. You'll learn so much from their tips, plus it's free! I like watching Dr. Dre and Shereene Idriss, they are both entertaining and educational.

Hope this proves helpful, and let me know how your routine comes together. 💜

-Lumen

The Types as Meme Man Memes: Enneatypes

Type 1 -

Type 2 -

Type 3 -

Type 4 -

Type 5 -

Type 6 -

Type 7 -

Type 8 -

Type 9 -

how mbti types procrastinate

entp, enfp, intp, infp: considers possibilities of what to do instead of said task. starts typing but gets distracted when trying to choose a song to listen to. probably scrolls through tiktok. thinks that said task is too overwhelming. can't schedule an appointment on the phone by themself.

intj, infj, enfj, entj : plans out everything, but doesn't actually do it. wayyy too perfectionistic. has a bunch of pinterest boards (or playlists) related to said thing. not inspired. not enough pressure. "scheduled procrastination."

estp, esfp, istp, isfp: thinks the task is stupid and boring, and there are more fun/interesting things to do. also thinks that they have enough time to get it done but actually only has 2 hours. doesn't narrow down priorities. probably forget it existed in the first place

isfj, istj, estj, esfj: associates task with bad past experiences and avoids it. thinks it's not important + a waste of time compared to other things. keeps getting stuck on minor criticisms or flaws. doesn't put said thing on their to-do list (not in sight, not in mind!)

A Former Funky Bitch Guide for Remaining Fresh

As I do my scrolling, I have seen (and liked) many posts that go in depth about a hygiene routine however they’re all very…minimal. Unrealistic for most, dare I say. I only say that because though they may be useful for the ideal woman, a large percentage of women are beyond a standard hygiene routine and need something a bit more thorough. Myself being one of them.

Many women sweat fast which produce body odor rapidly. As our menstrual cycle approaches, body odor may become more pungent. Pregnancy may also produce pungent body odor temporarily and sometimes permanently. Remember, many women are still dependents (minors or college students) who are unable to change their diet yet your diet is an important factor towards production of your body odor.

This post is for my young ladies who may lack the privilege of having (parental) guidance for hygiene. Many of us like to downplay it as common sense, however I’ve personally experienced, witnessed with friends and worked with teens in poverty ridden neighborhoods who lack the knowledge of what many consider the basics of hygiene. In fact, many mothers are so envious of their daughters they sabotage them in that matter. This is real life.

This post also heals my inner teen because I was that teenager. Depression played a part. Parental negligence played a part. Lack of authority played a part.

Enough chit chat, here’s bullet points that you can screenshot and save for quick access in order to improve your hygiene to feel and smell as feminine as you are. This is a safe space:

African black soap has played a crucial part in stripping all of my body buildup unlike many body wash/bars of soap. It can irritate you, so I suggest purchasing diluted versions if you know you have sensitive skin. Otherwise, many beauty supply stores or African salon/shops sell African Black Soap.

Detoxing my underarms weekly with Aztec Clay, along with the t-zone (nose and center of forehead) of my face to minimize oil production on my face.

Cornstarch as a base before spraying deodorant to slow down the sweat. I use two drops of almond oil and lather my underarms up, apply the cornstarch (with a makeup puff? I forgot what they’re called lol yikes but wedge sponges work too) and seal it with my deodorant. You may want to put your shirt on first. This technique is similar to placing setting powder after your primer to keep your makeup from becoming dewy.

Wash bra and panties in the shower with me at night and when the AM hits I place them in the laundry. Sometimes the shirt I’ve worn if I need to.

Spray perfume on the arms of your shirt (CAUTION: If you have skin easily irritated, you may not find this tip useful.) Do not spray directly onto skin and instead spray within the underarms area of your shirt. Useful if you lift your arms often and are insecure about blowing a whiff regardless of if you have sufficient hygiene or not.

Keep wipes and dog poop bags in your purse: ladies let’s leave behind using solely tissue to freshen up after going to the bathroom. I’ve learned that many bathrooms don’t have garbage bins within the stalls or they’re only attached to the paper towel dispenser, so having dog poop bags that I can place my used wipes in has came in clutch.

Perfume/ Essential oil on dryer sheets in dresser or closet (CAUTION: FIRE HAZARD do NOT place dryer sheet with perfume or essential oils in the dryer. Can cause a fire especially with the old ass dryers y’all got). Also try this same trick if you bring a change of clothes to work/school to enhance the freshness.

A ziplock bag with a rag: If you work at a job that keeps you active and you cannot control your body’s reaction or you simply want to freshen up on your half hour break, this is a quick way to wipe away the sweat + natural buildup and remain smelling fresh. I’ve personally done this; it’s similar to a hoe bath.

You go to the bathroom, get you some hot water, you’ve already put African Black soap on your rag so it lathers up on contact, wash your arms/under boobs/intimate areas if you’re freshen up during your period (don’t use soap let alone the African one! You’re going to be burning jalapeño spicy), pat your clean area dry with a towel and proceed with your routine that may include cornstarch, deodorant and spraying body mist across your body. Ready to roll?

If your quick to sweat from your forehead, keep a scarf that you can use as a bandana/headband. I highly suggest these specific types below because you can easily manipulate it based on your outfit at the moment in need. I’ve worked at fast food, I’ve had to carry groceries, I’ve had to fight and sometimes the LAST thing you need is sweat getting in your eye (especially if you’re a fellow black girl. An edge control and sweat combo in the eye is not fun)

Activated charcoal in two ways: as an absorbant pad that can be placed as a sticker inside your clothing to avoid sweat stains or as a bath soak since charcoal contributes to expelling unwanted bacteria from your body which can be a factor behind your body odor.

I use these tips for my advantage and convenience. When I am going to an event that I know I will be photographed, I make sure I keep those underarm pads on me literally. I change my clothes at the gym often so I place perfumed dryer sheets inside a ziplock bag with my clothes so my perfume is not overwhelming but enhanced. My anxiety I’m not a fan on period cups when I’m out and about and cannot afford an accident, so I absolutely keep baby wipes and poop bags in my purse to dispose of my waste quickly and freshen up as I need to. It set me back $4 at Family Dollar…

Anyone and everyone should try these to make their lives easier. I hope this post was able to come across someone who needed this guidance because Lord knows I did at some point. Cheers to growth! 🕯🧿

Six: You’re always so calm, no matter what happens. How do you do it?

Nine: It’s easy. You just got to make yourself dead inside. Then it doesn’t matter what happens… good… bad… nothing gets through, so nothing bothers you. Easy.

Sometimes people will decide who you are.

It won't be based on truth. It'll be based on their perception of you.

No matter what you tell them, or how you explain the reasoning behind your actions, they have made up their minds.

Everything good that happens will because of your efforts, will be seen as things that happened despite of you.

People who defend you or stick up for you will be seen as having "a temporary lack of judgement".

For people with ADHD, this will happen more.

They'll call it lazy and unwilling.

Explanations will be called excuses.

They'll repeat the same advice. "Ask for help", even when you tell them you struggle with that.

They'll see your response caused by previous trauma as stubbornness. They'll think you think you know better, they'll think you ignore advice because you forgot.

Your efforts will not be seen.

They'll misinterpret your character.

And you'll be powerless.

I know all of you have experienced this. I know you read this and you can tell me exactly who it was and in what context. A teacher, an employer, a parent (although I really hope it wasn't a parent), maybe a former "friends", or a distant relative.

We all have that same story.

But we are not that person they think we are.

We are valid and true.

They can not decide our character.

They do not have the right. They do not deserve us. They're not worthy of your time, your efforts, your loyalty.

Hold on to that person that had your back.

They are worth it.

infp: When cats sleep all day they’re cute

infp: But when I do it I’m ‘clinically depressed’ and 'need to get help’

musical lyrics as truths the types need to hear

ESTJ: “Life is never what you planned. Life is moments you can’t understand. And that is life” (Falsettos)

INFP: “You pretend to create and observe when you really detach from feeling alive” (Rent)

ISFP: “Make just a ripple. Come on, be brave. This time a ripple, next time a wave” (Anyone Can Whistle)

ESTP: "You may know what you need, but to get what you want, better see that you keep what you have” (Into the Woods)

ISTP: “Prefix ‘ordinary’ with ‘extra’” (Finding Neverland)

ENFP: “Don’t fall apart at the seams. It’s called letting go your illusions, and don’t confuse them with dreams” (Merrily We Roll Along)

ISTJ: “You can like the life you’re living. You can live the life you like” (Chicago)

ENTJ: “So scared of what your enemies will do to you—you’re the only enemy you ever seem to lose to” (Hamilton)

ESFP: “Nice is different than good” (Into the Woods)

ENTP: “Well, I’ll sing you the story of a sorrowful lad. He had everything he wanted, didn’t want what he had” (Pippin)

ESFJ: “Nobody but me is going to change my story” (Matilda)

ISFJ: “Stop worrying where you’re going. Move on. If you can know where you’re going, you’ve gone” (Sunday in the Park with George)

INTJ: “You’ve got so many reasons for not being with someone, but…you haven’t got one good reason for being alone” (Company)

INFJ: “The choice may have been mistaken. The choosing was not. You have to move on” (Sunday in the Park with George)

ENFJ: “Hey, buddy, don’t be afraid it won’t be perfect. The only thing to be afraid of, really, is that it won’t be” (Company)

INTP: “Give me pain, if that’s what’s real. It’s the price we pay to feel” (Next to Normal)

Real image of the Gorbo Factory: