Self Reflection
Self reflection
I saw a dead cat walking on acid today. It didn’t shock me or scare me, it actually surprised me more than anything. I was sad for a minute but I had to ask why was I sad? I saw death but it’s actually not something to be sad about or even to fear. It wasn’t a warning of what’s to come. The moment was a stand still. The cat had its eyes closed if anything a bit of it eyes were glaring but not even to actually shock me. Its ears were upright it was perfectly in tact. In fact I just assume a car hit it but tbh there was absolutely no evidence of that even taking place. But cats dont just die in the street do they?
That’s why im able to step back a little more. It was very foggy. A cat that could’ve lost its way. A cat that was potentially stuck in its ignorance and own ways. But it was fog. Something died in the fog. Did I find what died in the confusion? Did something die when I become more aware? What died tho? But I guess another key takeaway is allowing space and time for the answer to just simply come to me. I got to excited with this information but now im going to pull it back into self and find comes next.
I would ask for opinions but in reality yours doesn’t even matter to me. It would shape my belief in something I dont have clarity in and why does your truth have to become mine? I’ll remain unanimous. Instead you who are reading take this information as you will. I guess we all uncover our own truths and hidden layers
More Posts from Jailposes and Others
i’m on acid rn and i saw a dead cat on my walk through darkness hope this helps someone out there
12.12.18
Im not sure why life has been so crazy and out of hand lately. aside from all the bullshit tho my mom did tell me i was becoming a man for the first time in my life. that was cool. But after all the shit ive been through this past week i gotta be stronger. I gotta focus more. People are counting on me this time, i can feel it. Just the simple fact that these people trust me with their future just tells me i gotta go my hardest. this year is different. 2019. i feel stronger, taller, more grounded in who i am. people still judge me from the outside, my quiet side. the side that doesn’t really talk to anyone because im uncomfortable. the part of me no one understands, the part of me that people believe is the only part of me. i just want to make better music. i need to create again. i need my crew. i love them niggas. i still feel lonely. currently having an oreo fetish please forgive me. i feel temptation creeping close. not that i can act on it anyways, but its there. i still know im not ready for the lifestyle i want to live. and i only say this because i dont want my significant other to suffer on my behalf. am i wrong? am i selfish? should i take time to figure out myself and what i want? i want her, thats no doubt. but will i get everything i need from her? idk. i cant help but feel this feeling in my heart. i just dont know what its telling me. what am i doing? im starting to see how great i am. legendary. its a lot of responsibility and thats why i gotta be on my shit. for my team, for my guys, my family, the people that wont leave my side no matter how much i fuck up. i do this for y’all, for us. its all love. i hope everyone is patient with me, give me a chance. maybe chances. im not perfect but being looked at like im perfect is stressful. any mistake i make people hold it and dont let go. its a gift and a curse. life so far. nigga honestly im just trying to go home. i need to build my foundation again. i need a clean fresh start if that makes sense. i haven’t seen my mom in over a year. im scared what everyone is going to look like. fuck you JC why’d you put that thought in my head. is my family scared to see me and vice versa? it doesn’t matter. i love them. i love everyone who supports me. the fact youre even trying to read my thoughts is a surprise. how long should i keep this blog a secret? well its a not a secret my name is so easy to find lol. i still think about you everyday X. i hope youre in heaven i love you with my whole heart bro. im not sure why i have to carry your legacy but i will. idk how you took care of all these kids but ill do my best. your “children” as you called them lol. damn i miss you. everything i do i do for you. and God of course but that goes without saying. i will carry on what you started idc if i didn’t know you. you left something with me, i felt it ever since you were gone. youre still the yin to my yang bro. idk why i feel so close to you but i got your back forever. forever. Bad Vibes Forever. i love how our group names are so similar. Rare Vibes Only + Bad Vibes Only. Fuck bro. i love you with all my heart my nigga. how am i gonna keep moving without you? seriously. i love you, i wish it was me rather than you. i just hope you can and god can guide me. i dont ever tell anybody how i feel about you. they dont understand its too close, too personal. you were a genius bro. i love you. i respect you. i wish we became friends. you were really a hero to these kids bro. 2019 is ours. just dont let me get lazy or unmotivated please.
When I fell asleep in all my clothes as a kid my mother would call it ‘ready to roll’.
“Jetlife” chill ass beat i made for Curren$y
Watching Euphoria last night with the homies until like 4 am that shit is hilarious 😂 why is everyone gay and toxic. ALSO THAT NIGGA NATE NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE BRO. FEZ HOLDIN IT DOWN GO WHITE BOY.
YO BADBADNOTGOOD AND KAYTRANADA REALLY SLID ON THIS BEAT 😭🔥
Righteous Justen - Who Got Next? (Produced + Directed By The 199x.)
