―  Dear Atlas, You Cannot FALL.                      

welp. idk why i continue to exist.

i need to do some grinding on my apex battlepass but after that i’m gonna try to write, focusing probs here, @forplikte​, & @nokkiru​,,

no addressing our problems we downward spiral like MEN

                                                  dox  &&  fifteen                                  @grimesucker  &&  @kienokoru

I do. I did it. I did. I had to. I have to. I have to live.

— Aisha Sasha John, from “I like it when we give the world to itself,” I Have to Live

@grimesucker​ sent:  his OD had PINGED the notification , allowing him some time to PREPARE---...still, something feels INAPPROPRIATE about this , in how he presents a BOTTLE of SEWER WATER with a BOW around the neck ; look , he doesn't have a lot of EXPERIENCE in buying presents, & alcohol always seems like a good idea. ...& if not , well , he's got some solid itch brownies as back-up. "hey, fifteen - happy birthday."

 belated birthday wishes

  surprised by the bottle thrust in his direction, shiro is LOST, glancing between it and the man holding it with a questioning quirk in his brow. expression softens, however, when explanation comes in the form of dox wishing him a happy birthday. huh, he didn’t really think the mender was one to keep track of that sort of thing.

     “ thanks, dox. ”  accepting the sewer water, despite it not being the sort of thing he’d ask for or even purchase for himself. it’s a gift, and one from DOX for that matter, so he appreciates it regardless. it’s the THOUGHT that counts, and dox cared enough to think of him on his birthday and buy him a present. smiling, the boy holds the bottle in both hands, the one of metal clinking against the glass, and gives it a GLANCE OVER. the bow is a cute touch.

raising his head again, shiro nods toward the kitchen and raises his eyebrows at dox.

     “ why don’t we share this? ”

Worst feeling in the world is knowing you did the best you could, and it still wasn’t good enough.

as a teenager, shiro was actually on the scrawnier side. when he was a younger cadet, he was shorter than a lot of his classmates and it wasn’t until he was about seventeen that he had something of a late growth spurt which steadily put him closer to his final height of 6′2. the growth spurt helped put a bit of his bulk on too, but it wasn’t until he started working out regularly, also conveniently around the age of eighteen, that he really began filling out. wasn’t until he was twenty that he reached peak ‘tall & built’ status.

@grimesucker​ sent:  it's a MESS of a cake , too many layers that now threaten to TOPPLE---it's PRETTY otherwise aside from unsteady foundation , all fluffy cream & fresh fruits ; atop sit candles, a HAZARD in how they're alight, but dox doesn't seem CONCERNED about it---"c'mon, make a wish n' blow it out!" // think sleeping beauty cake..... shaman verse ??????

  belated birthday wishes

     “ oh my god. ”

  shiro LAUGHS at the sight of the cake, unable to help himself. it looks like it’s barely staying balanced and it might light the whole cottage  ( which is ALL WOOD, by the way )  on fire if they aren’t careful. he suspects there’s some magic at work to prevent this, but still.

     “ this is the most RIDICULOUS cake i’ve ever seen. and also the most amazing. ”

laughter still marks his voice, but now it’s more bewilderment than amusement. no one’s ever made him ANYTHING like this for his birthday; how long did dox spend baking this and topping it? clearly so much work has been put into it and, for some reason, it’s all been done for HIM. it’s... maybe it’s silly, but it makes emotions of all sorts pile into his chest.

watching the flickering lights of the candles atop the CAKE MOUNTAIN, he takes a moment to think. make a wish? there’s nothing he needs to wish for, everything is already good  ---  he’s HAPPY, even if there are still some struggles he’s working though, and he wouldn’t change a thing about his life the way it is now.

i want things to stay like this, he thinks to himself, stepping up to the cake. breath drawn, the candles are all blown out in one go and shiro still has a BROAD smile on his face as he leans back, gaze turning to dox.

     “ you really didn’t have to go to this much trouble. ...but since you did, i think we should have a couple of big slices RIGHT NOW. ”

shiro: *has a uc nickname dox gave him & everyone around them uses* also shiro, meeting someone new: hi i’m shiro