I Wasn’t Crazy About This Piece So I Wasn’t Intending On Publicly Posting It Again, But It Keeps

Advertising peaked at the Discovery channel “Boom de Yada” commercials

Reblog to make it die faster

In a series of completely unrelated coincidences, the same family moves into a haunted house, attracts the attention of a local poltergeist, purchases an evil ventriloquist dummy, activates a witch’s curse, and adopts the newborn antichrist, all in the same week.

not the twitter migrants putting "reblog heavy" in their bios on here... like yeah. that's what we do here

We also figured out—the hard way—that the ancients probably cut each layer of linen to the proper shape before gluing them together. For our first linothorax, we glued together 15 layers of linen to form a one centimeter-thick slab, and then tried to cut out the required shape. Large shears were defeated; bolt cutters failed. The only way we were ultimately able to cut the laminated linen slab was with an electric saw equipped with a blade for cutting metal. At least this confirmed our suspicion that linen armor would have been extremely tough. We also found out that linen stiffened with rabbit glue strikes dogs as in irresistibly tasty rabbit-flavored chew toy, and that our Labrador retriever should not be left alone with our research project.

we could go back to telegraphs instead of social media. send your mutuals unspeakable strings of morse code at 4:30am

“The entire British museum is an active crime scene” - John Oliver

the suffering never ends

Still collecting the full alphabet of the “live, laugh, love” variants if anyone has some good examples.

Bonus if they can fit the “We can’t ___, _____, ____ our way out of this.”