Fragile

The Stars

I look to the star, they don’t shine the same.

I want be a star but the spark is not the same.

Passionate to passionless.

Losing sight of who I am.

Only seeing the scars.

Feeling what I lost.

This pain is not for sport.

Midnight

At night is when the darkness come to flirt.

It’s jealous of your joy.

It hopes to destroy with no remorse.

In torch your thoughts.

Exposing your faults.

Depleting your source.

Your endorphins running thin.

Walls closing in.

These mental wars has no end.

Want to scream for help but no one understand.

Nor do they care to give a damn.

This pain is in command.

Now you’re sitting in a pool of your own sweat.

Living through all your regrets.

Within yourself you digress.

Your stress take center stage.

Putting on a show for the ages.

Taking a bow for your devastation.

Colorist or preferences

Hiding behind what they prefer

Knowing deep down they can’t stand someone of a less shade.

This goes back when we were slaves or when we were in caves.

When our pigment protected against the suns rays.

As the sun caressed our skin with elegance.

The glow of gods and goddesses.

Maybe they hated it.

So they punish.

Bashed it until we lost pride if it.

Losing our ancestral essence.

We were Kings and Queens but now they only see us as good in the sheets.

Or anger at its peak.

It’s no in between.

Never see what’s underneath.

We’re human beings.

Regardless of what they see.

Who Am I ?

Poisoned by the bonds that ties.

Your inner self is so shy.

Hiding behind a culture’s eyes.

If you don’t follow the dotted lines, you get the evil eye.

You conform cause your faults are magnified.

Tired of hearing your own cries, you find a mask to disguise.

Your identity losing supply.

Who I am?

Fatherless

You set the stage then vacated but your shadow still eclipses me.

Your path or mine, them lines are blurred.

I want to walk in your footsteps but who am I personally?

I took my mind from my body and thought how come we never spoke but I’m always talking to you.

I don't cry but its like I'm always shedding tears for you.

I started balling so we can be closer.

Looking to stands but every time, your seat empty.

Deep down, I'm empty. 

Suppose to be here but shots rang out.

Your bloody body, dropping, replaying like it’s the gamer winner.

Another black fatherless child.

It’s endless.

Senseless.

They asking why I’m so distant.

You was put in hearse before I learned how to mourn.

I’m still so torn.

Impression

Born in a less than ideal situation.

Having to find a way to elevate when you only see devastation.

Learning to be a better person when you only see questionable foundations.

And don’t you dare think differently.

You’ll be singled out and shamed.

Stay in a child's place is all they paint until it’s stained.

What you speak will cross everyone's ear frames.

Can’t even be confined to a parent.

Your feelings will be displayed on a canvas and they wonder why our trust vanished.

Now opening up is so phantom.

Their lack of loving, patience, and directions makes us less equipped for future relations.

Choosing yelling over communication.

Leaving us with no understanding of our transgressions.

Not knowing who we become is a reflection of their lack of preparation.

Forcing us to grow up too early.

Not mentally but with responsibilities.

Hindering our possibilities.

Encasing us in their own Insecurities.

Highlighting similarities from a parent with ongoing hostilities.

Basing our capabilities on theirs.

That ain’t fair.

We ain’t ask to be here, we’re products of two toxic pairs who don’t know how to actually care.

Ain’t saying the love ain’t there but there’s certain ways a child needs to be love that parents are unaware.

Darts

Forever playing darts with my heart.

Dicing it to pieces.

Lost in the blackness.

Acting so wouldn’t see the sadness.

You was the captain of my madness.

Taking my breath away.

Now I can’t feel nothing.

Haven’t crushed in a minute.

Can’t get the same high.

The L different but the smoke keep showing you.

Then I realize y’all one in the same.

Only here for the moment.

My energy is priceless but lately I been letting everyone pouch in like Tyson.

I was clueless that I was investing in sourceless Entities.

Allowing deposits from insignificant funds when I been giving out fortunes.

Extortion from the people I hold dear.

Depleting my shares for who would vanish when I need little bit care.

I been facing despair when no one is near.

I’ve become accustom to disappearing instead of asking for help cause for me, no one else is truly there.

A burden I came to bear but still lend a hand when I hear someone else cries.

Maybe it’s how I was raised.

My mother instilling me with generous ways.

Or I’m just a people pleaser that doesn’t know how to say no.

The most loyal or most stupidest.

A stewardess in pleasing but never in dismissing.

Maybe it’s a mission from divinity.

Embedding a large amount of empathy within me.

A coping mechanism to avoid my own vacancy.

Steadily engulfing myself in everyone else’s misery.

Knowingly knowing that the energy I receive take toll on me but I continue to indulge in things that’s no good for me.

I’m the biggest danger to me then any weapon formed against me.

Self inflected wounds that could of been avoided.

Mental trauma that still need to be sorted before else where involvement.

I just want to be dormant but everybody keep calling.

Lost

Living in the present but stuck in the past.

Reminiscing of the time we had but these memories are only dreams.

You was gone before they can be.

Gone with the wind but I hear you in the breeze.



Even though I can’t remember how you sound.

Being your son, I’m proud but it comes with a lot.

Your image is splattered across my life and I fear that I can’t complete the portrait.

I look just like you but I can’t be you.

I’m shackled to you cause I’m a product of you.

I struggle to step out of your shadow cause you’re my light even in the darkness.

I wanna shine for you.

I’m here to showcase my writing I hope you enjoy