Everyone Always Talks About The Flesh And Its Potential To Relate To The Transgender Experience (and,

Everyone always talks about The Flesh and its potential to relate to the transgender experience (and, well, as of the latest episodes of TMAGP, that's been canonly explored) but also: what about the experience of growing up fat?

Sucking in your stomach in pictures. Pinching the skin under your chin because you don't want to have a double chin. Noticing another stretch mark during puberty and ignoring it, storing in the farthest corner of your mind. The way your legs look in pictures. The way your tights look when you sit down. Keeping an arm constantly on your stomach. Noticing that you're slumping and straightening your back so the rolls are less noticeable.

Oh, and the nasty part. The comments other kids make. The comments your parents make. The awareness of not being curvy, just being fat. Plain fat. Wanting so bad to be desirable, by someone, anyone, but you're not skinny. You're not curvaceous, voluptuous, really your body is just...unflattering. The self-esteem issues. Thinking that every single picture of you is ugly, wretched, as you see others taking pictures of themselves so...casually. Fixating on the most miniscule parts of it all, the way your fingers aren't as slim as others', the way you look when you smile, the softness in you that you so deeply despise because it's not appealing. Not attractive. And it's all you want to be.

And don't even get me started on the intersection of being fat and trasmasc, that's a whole other can of worms.