The Woman Laid In His Arms, Her Eyes Blinded From The Attacks In Battle. She Bled Out From The Sword

love again

dan heng x gn reader 3.3k words , hurt comfort + second chance romance this was inspired by one of cardan's letters to jude (from the folk of the air series by holly black) but other that than i have no idea where this was going ++ dan heng might be ooc too but this was very fun to write :,)

the astral express used to be your home.

now, it is nothing more than a sore subject; a burden that presses on your being—a constant reminder that perhaps, there are some things you grow out of, but are forever unable to get rid of. it has taken far too much of your life for you to cast aside, and as much as you wish you could permanently erase it from memory, you aren’t sure if you even want to.

it’s a conflicting dilemma to be faced with. you’re constantly wedged in between two emotions: wanting to forget, and wishing you didn’t want to. there’s something so comforting about holding onto the remnants of the past. and yet, simultaneously, there is also something so devastating when faced with the realization that they belong only to the past; nothing more than a reflection of a bygone time.

still, you’d like to say that you’re faring pretty well. belobog has taken quite the space in your heart, and even though it might only be filling the hole that the express left you with, you’re more than content.

you’ve learned to adapt to the everwinter—the eternal freeze, as they’d call it. and even though it’s sweeping winds have proven to be quite bothersome at times, you don’t really mind. you’ve gotten used to enveloping yourself in a thick coat before exiting the house. and waking up a few minutes earlier than usual to warm yourself with a hot beverage isn’t so horrible.

but most importantly, you’ve begun looking forward to your days, as opposed to letting what happened a few months back tie you down.

it was a moment in time anyone would remember vividly had they experienced it—for a completely haunting reason. even after seven months of solitude; more specifically, seven months of self induced isolation, you can still easily step back into that day, as well as the ones that followed, though those are a bit more blurred in comparison.

when dan heng accused you of being a traitor, you knew there was no going back. in the blink of an eye, everyone on the astral express viewed you differently, and as much as they tried to believe otherwise, they couldn’t shake off the possibility of his words holding some ounce of truth to them; his status was that of a trusted guard, authority held in high esteem.

but he was also your lover.

dan heng was the embodiment of everything you’ve longed for; precious, beloved, sacred. only, that wasn’t enough to quell his misplaced anger towards you. instead, it fueled it even more, and with each day that followed, he made his distaste for you increasingly apparent.

you’ve tried to explain—persistently, and determined to dispel any suspicion he held towards you; desperate to make things right; to make him love you again. but every time you’d catch him alone and free from his duties, he’d glower at you before you could even reach him, and even as you trailed after him with a string of rushed explanations falling from your mouth, he wouldn’t listen. he didn’t want to. he didn’t need it.

he didn’t need you.

and who were you to ask for more? soon enough, even welt and himeko had little to no trust for you. they couldn’t even seem to tolerate you; always making excuses to avoid engaging in conversation, seemingly edging you out of their circle through subtle means.

it was exhausting, and also painful. incredibly so that one silent night, you hopped onto the train, dragging a suitcase from behind and begging pompom to take you somewhere else—anywhere else—and to keep quiet about your disappearance. not that you thought anyone would care, really, but still.

that’s how you ended up in belobog; with a broken heart you’ve tried piecing back together and an unspoken explanation festering in the back of your mind—that you weren’t siding with kafka, simply hoping to reach a compromise with her; a conversation caught and taken completely out of context.

but you’re faring pretty well. and time heals all wounds, apparently, so there’s an obstreperous hope rooted deep in your heart that makes you believe things might just really get better. each day that passes signifies another step inching you closer towards the line of recovery. and perhaps, knowing that one day you might cross it, was enough.

but belebog has been in some commotion lately.

for a reason completely unknown to you, the silvermane guards have been raising a ruckus by the streets every day. causing citizens, in return, to erupt into an uproar in absolute fear of what might follow.

and you’ve resigned yourself to that oblivion. ignorance is bliss, and you had no plan on disrupting the semblance of peace that’s been so graciously bestowed upon you. but the world has an incredibly humorous way of working, and somehow, it seemed hellbent on giving you the answer to a question you had no interest knowing.

“please wait.”

a firm hand encloses itself around your wrist, tightening its grip even further (though still gentle), upon noticing how you were trying to escape.

“y/n—” he tries once more.

“no,” you deny without any hesitation.

everything about this is wrong. the last thing you needed was for dan heng to appear right in front of you, and in belobog of all places. god, this was your home; your newfound sanctuary—did he have to ruin that too? how long until enough was enough?

you despise the way his touch sears into your skin, abhor the fact that even after months, he still manages to get a reaction out of you, and resent that your heart still races seeing the tender look on his face. that treacherous, good for nothing organ.

you level him with a glare before forcefully pulling your hand away from his; the loss of his warmth causes your heart to sink into your chest. “do not speak to me,” is all you say, and then pivot on your heel to walk towards the opposite direction—going to god knows where.

“this is where you’ve gone to?”

the question falls on deaf ears.

“you do not belong in belebog,” he says.

and you want to whirl around to ask him: where do i belong then? the astral express, where you have all cast me aside? but they remain lodged up in your throat, eventually dying when you realize how meaningless it would be trying to argue with someone who has never been willing to listen in the first place.

you continue walking, and each step you take is so heavy that they echo in his ears. dan heng is at a loss for what to do—has been for the couple of months, but he knows better than to let this opportunity slip through his grasp, so he follows, trailing behind you while keeping a distance.

he tries making small talk; starts talking about how he’s on a mission, accompanied with march and a newfound acquaintance who goes by the name trailblazer—claims that belobog is bound for conflict, and that he’s glad to see you, as if he wasn’t the one who pushed you away.

but you pay him no mind. there is no reason to show him any reaction. all you need to do is disregard him until he gives up.

“herta has been trying to contact you,” he suddenly announces. “she is worried; so are asta and arlan.”

“tell them there is no need. i’m alright.” you reply, voice rushed, wishing to get whatever this was over with.

what follows next are updates about everyone you’ve known on the express: himeko, welt, march, and even a couple of researchers have apparently been worried in regards to your disappearance; asking pompom about your whereabouts, and soon trying to find out the answer themselves. and while it washes away a bit of indignation, it holds little to no value to you now.

so what if they were troubled? for all you knew, they deserved it—they wanted you gone, and so you did them a favor by leaving, but now they want to pretend that they care? incredulous.

in a fit of frustration, you take a sudden halt in your steps, prompting him to take a pause as well; his feet rooted to the cobblestone pavement. when you turn to face dan heng, his shoulders straighten to correct his posture and his eyes search to meet yours, but you’re unhappy—displeased, and quite annoyed.

“leave. me.” you demand through gritted teeth, trying to prevent every other word threatening to escape by biting on your tongue.

but he cannot. because if you’ve been faring pretty well, then dan heng has been faring horribly, and if he made a mistake, then it was up to him to fix things.

“i have been looking for you,” he admits.

“you’ve found me, now leave.”

“my love—” he tries to begin, and it nearly kills you.

“do not!” you yell, every emotion you’ve been trying to keep at bay reaching its boiling point; eyes flaring with bitter anger at the term of endearment. “you have no right to call me that!”

you can’t do this anymore. for the sake of your own wellbeing; your pride and sanity, or whatever is left of them—and for every piece of yourself you’ve slowly been regaining. he is not allowed to strut out of your life and slam the door on you only to come back.

“you have no right to be here! leave!”

“come back to us.” to me, he wishes to say, though it remains in the back of his mind. “i am begging you.”

“i will never go back.”

“you do not belong in belobog.”

“i do not belong in the express either; you have made that very clear to me—all of you have.”

“i was mistaken in my judgment.” he tries to reason. and the turn of events is humorous, because this was exactly what you’ve been trying to do a few months back. and now, dan heng is completely aware of how desperate the feeling is. “but i have explained. they were not wrong to put their faith in me, but i was wrong to accuse you—i am sorry. the fault is on me, but please do not blame them for their suspicion.”

“i don’t care. you don’t get to do as you wish and expect me to follow through. i don’t belong here, yes, but whether you like it or not, this is my home now, and you have no right to take me away from here after tossing me aside.”

gesturing wildly with a hand, you continue. “i have been trying to navigate my way through the aftermath of what happened. and i have resigned myself to that loss—so leave me. you have no right to barge into my life and ask me to come back. you have no right to take advantage of my love after taking it for granted.”

the air stills around you then, temperature seemingly dropping a few more degrees, if that were even possible in this everwinter. helpless, you look at dan heng with quiet agony—defenseless and exposed, but most of all, ashamed.

dan heng stares at you in horror, and it makes you want to cry. you needed to get out of here; needed to lick at your wounds and stitch them back shut. god, where did your walls go?

“leave it. i—” you shake your head, unsure on what to say next. your hands fall to your sides, nails digging into the palms of your hands as they clench into fists.

“tell everyone on the astral express that i am fine. there is no need to worry about me.”

and he hates it; the way you speak of your home as if it’s no longer of that nature, but simply a place you once knew of. he hates how you’re right in front of him, within reach, but still out of grasp. and he hates that there is no one to blame for the consequence of his cruelty but himself.

red rimmed, exhausted, and on the precipice of surrender, dan heng’s eyes burn—perhaps he is being too selfish, but even then he doesn’t think he can stop.

“march has been wearing the clothes you’ve left at your station,” he says. and you have no idea where the direction of this conversation is heading, but something compels you to listen anyways. “himeko has been blaming herself for your departure. welt has been persistent in his demands for an answer from pompom. arlan and asta cannot go one day without mentioning your name.”

there’s a slight pause he takes before resuming.

“you have not left just because you did; you are part of the astral express. you will remain a piece of us forever, so please,” dan heng begs, swallowing against a scratchy throat. “come back to us.” and then corrects himself in a broken voice. “to them, at least.”

“enough!” you snap, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“please—”

“you are asking for too much.”

“i will take anything you give me,” he lets out, strained and miserable; unceasing in his pleads. “you can resent me for an eternity, shout at me all you want, curse me unto death, just come home.”

and it’s enough to reduce you into a foolish mess; the patent desperation of it all—longing in his voice, yearning in his eyes. you’ve always had a soft spot for him. it seems that some things never do change.

“you don’t need me,” you whisper, still in disbelief.

dan heng offers you a breathless laugh.

“i do,” he confesses, wearing a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “more than anything else. and i have tried not to need you—not to even think about you, but it’s a losing game.”

he takes a hesitant step towards you, praying you don’t move backwards in response. and when you don’t, it only spurs him on to continue, so he does exactly that; slowly moves closer until you’re only a breath apart from one another.

“when i found out the truth, i have never been more in dispute with myself. it is humiliating being proven wrong, but rather than shame, i felt sorry for not believing you; for not even listening.”

you have no room to cut in. he speaks before you can let out a single word. “i don’t deserve forgiveness. i don’t deserve to even ask for it, or any of this, but i beg you, come home. i am sorry for hurting you—for driving you away, but i’ll be selfish once more and ask you to come home.” hate me at a nearer distance. just don’t be too far away from me.

and for once, you’re rendered speechless; completely overwhelmed. your cheeks flush with heat, and you feel so much that you begin to cry—pathetically sobbing as you fall into him and weakly punch at his chest, somehow still managing to feel your heart skip a beat at the contact.

“why are you here?” you cry, choking between words and hiccups. “you confuse me. i don’t know what any of this means.”

he pulls you in closer, placing your head on his shoulder with a careful hand, allowing your tears to stain the fabric. “i love you.”

“you don’t know anything about love.”

“i do. i know it because it’s you.”

you sob into his shoulder, shaking. “i hate you.”

“i know,” he says, rubbing small circles on your back to soothe you. “but i love you, forever and always. i don’t think i can stop. i have been too careless with you. if you’re willing to let me, i want to fix that.”

“you can’t. i’m a mess.”

so dan heng says, “i love you regardless. i’ll love you always,” but what he doesn’t tell you is i have been killing myself over your absence. you have the power to destroy me, and you don’t even know it—and i have no idea what to do with that revelation.

you could turn into a criminal and i would still fear losing you more than i would death. i would follow you anywhere, even if it meant i had to throw away all my morals—so long as i’m with you, i need nothing more.

though, he’s still quite relieved you aren’t actually evil.

“you won’t.”

“i will.”

“but you left me,” you murmur.

“and i’ll never do that again,” he promises, words dripping with so much honesty that you can’t refute them; sincerity practically emanating from his body.

your pulse quickens. already faltering in your resolve to push him aside, the lump in your throat expands to a quivering voice as you breathe out his name: dan heng.

the way it rolls off of your tongue enthralls him. it’s enough to send him into a spiral—it’s also enough for him to understand what you’re trying to convey.

he pulls you in even closer, eliminating any space between you two as he presses up against your form, relishing in the way you feel in his arms—something he was starting to doubt he’d ever feel again.

really, honest to god, he was definitely made for you.

"i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm so incredibly sorry," he apologizes repeatedly while holding onto you. and while his touch is foreign, it is also terribly familiar.

“dan heng,” you call out to him once more.

“yes?” he questions, uncertainty heavy in his tone.

“i cannot go back to the astral express,” you reveal, and he can practically hear how his heart instantly shatters at your words. “not immediately, at least. belobog is a lovely place. i want to stay here for a while.”

and then they piece themselves back whole. “it is nice,” he agrees, arms tightening around your torso like the prospect of letting you go would end him.

“how long until you leave?”

“i am not too sure anymore.”

you pull away slightly to give him a questioning look, and he smiles at your curiosity. “i’ve told you earlier that i have been looking for you. if you are here, then there is no reason for me to leave now.”

“then you’ll stay?” you ask.

“yes,” he tells you. “i will stay.”

“but you have nothing here.”

“i have you.” and that is more than enough for him.

“but the astral express is your home, even more so than it is mine.”

“no,” he corrects you. “the express is where i reside in at most, but my home is wherever you are. and if that’s in belobog, then so be it.”

“you’ll stay here with me? in this cold?”

“yes,” he assures you, lifting a hand to cup your face. as a thumb brushes across your cheek, he starts leaning in until his lips hover over yours. “i’d like to stay with you, and i’d like to keep it that way forever, if you would let me.”

you don’t say anything else, because truthfully, it’s unnecessary to speak in this moment. instead, you find another way to communicate with him by filling in the gap separating you two with a kiss.

dan heng makes a startled sound, shocked at your advances, especially with taking into consideration the circumstance prior to this. but then realization strikes through him, and soon, he’s kissing you back.

it’s slow at first; delicate, unsure if any of this was actually real, uncertain if he even deserved it. either way, he’s mapping every second of this moment onto his heart, eyes slipping shut as he wills himself to be patient with you. but then sweet longing pierces through him, and the kiss turns fervent, wholly desperate, because it has been far too long—and he realizes that he’s wasted too much time.

so he keeps kissing you, and you let him.

warmth floods from your face to your chest to your fingers, spreading like wildfire. belobog is a region of unparalleled coldness—it is always freezing here; the wind is biting, and there’s a permanent chill that creeps through the air. but right now, you are melting into a lovesick puddle as dan heng kisses you with an intensity you’ve never known before; transferring all the love—all the longing, he’s stored up for you through slightly chapped lips and careful touches.

you think of it all of a sudden; how dan heng told you that home is wherever you are—and in his arms, you realize just how true that statement is.

You and me. Us.

pairing. Aventurine x fem!reader cw/genre. angst, confused thoughts and feelings, insecurity. synopsis. You didn't feel right, so after keeping it to yourself, you decided to talk it over with him. masterlist

Despite him being a loving and attentive boyfriend, something was troubling him internally.

It could be his senses telling him that something "bad" was happening, like a premonition.

For your part, there was no change, you were still stuck to him, as always.

So after about 2 months, he decided to ignore that strange worried feeling inside him.

However, one night you saw him pacing back and forth, muttering some words under his breath.

When he seemed to notice you, he stopped what he was doing and approached you.

"I can't stop thinking about it.. something's going to go wrong, I just feel it. Maybe I'm being paranoid."

It was unlike you to see him with this sort of anxious energy.

You reached out to him, squeezing his hand gently. He looked up at you and gave a smile of appreciation, but the tension in his eyes persisted.

"You know it's normal to get tense, right?" You tried to make your words comforting and soft. "Everything is going to be okay, honey."

Despite not knowing his thoughts in detail or being able to put yourself in his place at that moment, you tried to comfort him.

He let out a sigh that seemed to expel all of his worries. His grip on your hand was tight enough for you to be able to sense his anxiety.

He pressed his forehead towards yours, his eyes closed tight.

You wondered what was going through his mind.

He couldn't bring himself to look at you during this moment.

His thumb gently brushed your hand, his eyes slightly clenched as he was about to tell you something, but hesitated.

It seems to be hard for him to get out what he was trying to say.

So he opted to squeeze your hand and bury his face into your chest.

You let a smile grace your face, despite his tense aura.

You understood him enough to know that whatever he was going through right now was something beyond your knowledge.

You comforted and supported him by wrapping your arms around him, kissing his head, and rubbing his back.

He looked grateful as your tender words of comfort helped him relax.

It was a nice moment of intimacy. It wasn't always a situation like this between the two of them, but there was never a problem comforting each other.

The affection and love that both had for each other was very enviable, they fit together so well in any situation.

Your fingers found their way onto his chin, gently lifting his head up so that he could meet your gaze.

His face was soft and expressive even when feeling down.

Even in the midst of trouble, he could always find a ray of hope with you.

He didn't say a word, but the feeling of your thumb rubbing his chin could be interpreted as "everything will be alright".

You both stayed close throughout the rest of the night.

It was an unproblematic night of rest for the both of you, he slept comfortably next to you, and you watched over him, feeling safe.

As the weeks went by, the one who started to feel bad was you.

Physically bad.

First came the nausea and dizziness, which you managed to hide perfectly from Aventurine.

At one point you thought you were sick and that these symptoms would eventually go away. However, that didn't happen, the symptoms remained, which worried you.

"…" From the way you felt, you suspected it from the first moment.

You sat on the bed, your legs a little weak from the shock, staring at the pregnancy test.

The minutes of waiting felt like hours. The intrigue was killing you.

Until finally you could see for yourself, your suspicions were right. You were pregnant.

You didn't know how to feel, you didn't know whether to be excited or worried.

However, a smile grew on your face, and you hugged the test closer to yourself.

So what if you weren't ready? For you this was something to be happy about.

But all you could think about was the moment you'd tell him.

He would be happy with this news, right?

Despite the pregnancy, life carried on, and so did you.

The symptoms you've been experiencing were unpleasant but tolerable. The nausea was still there, and you still felt dizzy, but you did your best to get through it.

As for the pregnancy, you tried to tell Aventurine once or twice. But you just… didn't feel ready yet. You wanted the perfect moment to drop that bomb on him, but that perfect moment felt like it never came.

You looked at Aventurine's sleeping form.

Should you tell him the news?

He looked so peaceful.

Perhaps you should wait for the right moment, the right time.

You laid there, not wanting to wake him, feeling a sense of anticipation inside. Even after the physical symptoms subsided slightly, your mind was full of worries.

"What if he doesn't want children now?"

"What if he thinks we're not ready?"

"He wouldn't leave me, would he?"

You wanted to push these worries aside and focus on the good things, but your mind wandered.

You didn't realise when it was that he had already woken up and was looking at you for a while.

You came out of your thoughts when you felt his hands caressing your face.

"Darling, what's wrong?" His voice was soft, not wanting to scare you.

For your part, you felt relaxed at his touch.

He continued to stroke your face, his hands eventually finding their way into your hair and gently combing it as he spoke,

"… Are you okay…?"

He sounded slightly worried.

"Mhm." After making a sound of affirmation, you clung to him, keeping your head buried to his chest.

"…" Once you were close to him, he continued to stroke your hair gently, not speaking, just wanting to listen to your breathing for a moment.

He rubbed your back in an attempt to soothe you, despite not knowing what was wrong. After a moment of silence, you broke it by speaking.

"I'm pregnant…" You blurted out. Your words were somewhat muffled by the fact that your face was in his chest.

His body tensed as soon as the words left your mouth.

"You're… pregnant?"

His hands stopped moving as an overwhelming sense of shock and fear came over him.

You thought he would be happy with that type of news but what you got was something different.

"…" Your boyfriend couldn't get his mind to respond, his face expressionless as he processed your words.

You let out a sigh as you waited for his words of response. He slowly pulled you away from his chest and stared straight into your eyes, almost as if studying your expression.

After another long pause, he spoke.

"You're… you're sure…?"

Your response was a confident nod.

He was quiet for a while.

"…" He could barely process what you'd just told him.

This was not the response you were expecting.

However, he still didn't move, not even a slight twitch of emotion on his face.

Silence.

His eyes wandered away from you, looking at the ceiling.

He was deep in internal crisis, feeling overwhelmed with all sorts of different thoughts.

At this moment, anxiety and nervousness flooded your system. The situation that had gone quiet too long was something that made you uncomfortable.

You waited.

He still wasn't speaking.

After another few minutes of staring at the ceiling, he finally opened his mouth.

"… I need time to think about this, dear" He said, his voice as serious as you had ever heard it before.

Before he got up, he ruffled your hair gently. Then he got out of the bed and went to the bathroom without another word or a glance thrown in your direction.

A feeling of rejection began to fill your heart as the bathroom door closed, leaving you all alone.

Your stomach dropped at the unexpected response. The fact that he requested time to digest what you had just told him made you increasingly anxious. Your fingers fiddled with the bedsheet, you were thinking too.

Is he angry with you for getting pregnant?

Is he just scared?

Why did he react like that instead of showing happiness like you thought he would?

The questions were countless, each one creating an increasing sense of insecurity within you.

But not only insecurity, but also sadness.

You couldn't help but think that this would be the breakup of your relationship, also due to the fact that you would have to raise your child alone.

It was a little too much for you to make those kinds of ideas and thoughts.

From one moment to the next you felt your cheeks wet. You didn't bother to dry them, you stayed leaning on the pillow, trying to disappear at that moment.

Your emotions were not very rational, being 4 months pregnant was hard.

On the other hand, Aventurine was locked in the bathroom.

He had a range of emotions inside of him.

Fear, anxiety, frustration, worry.

He took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror.

You were the love of his life, so he knew that there was no way he would leave you. But that didn't change the fact that he was terrified right now.

After a while of crying and waiting, you finally noticed the bathroom door slightly open.

Aventurine was still very far from calm. His face seemed still tense, but he was much more relaxed than before.

"Honey…" His voice was gentle, he came to sit next to you and started running his hand down your back again, trying to soothe you.

You were with your head buried in the pillow and with the blanket covering your entire body.

His touch gave you comfort, his presence reassured you.

"Please look at me, darling." he insisted, his thumb tracing the outline of your face.

You did as he said, you slowly turned your head and looked at him, he was smiling slightly, which surprised you.

"Come here." he took you in his arms, placing you on top of his lap.

Your eyes slowly closed, you let out a small sigh as you began to relax, and your mind started to settle.

While you sat on his lap, he brushed his hand through your hair, not speaking.

You buried your face into his shoulder and let him do his thing, it was calming.

"I'm sorry." His voice was soft as he continued to comb through your hair.

"It was stupid of me to react like that." He said, letting out a tired sigh.

His words soothed you.

You kept quiet for a moment, not knowing if you should answer him or not.

By the time you were going to answer him, Aventurine spoke again.

"I'm just…scared." As he spoke, his voice cut off at the end. His arms wrapped around you as if you were going to slip away from his grasp at that moment.

After a while, you broke away from his grip, you lifted your head off his shoulder and went to grab his face, placing it in your hands. You looked into his eyes and tried to get a glimpse of what was going on inside of him, but it was hard to read.

Your face was worried, no matter how much you tried to get an idea of what was going on in his head, you couldn't figure it out.

In his eyes there was a hint of tears beginning to fill little by little. Not to mention the expression he had on his face, it was something that surprised you, you had rarely seen him like that.

"Can I ask why, darling?" You tried to sound as cautious and gentle as possible, your thumbs caressing his cheeks.

His eyes closed as soon as you touched him.

When you asked your question, he was silent for a few seconds before speaking very softly.

It was like he was fighting to hold himself together to keep himself from breaking from the flood of emotions.

"You know what my childhood was like, how they killed all of my race, I—" He took some time to stop his voice from breaking up again.

You, with the greatest delicacy in the world, wiped away the fine tears that fell from his eyes. You didn't rush him to speak, you simply listened to him, letting him know you were there.

"I don't want this baby to suffer. Who knows what they life will be like when they grows up? We don't know if they could have the same luck that I had…" His voice faded into a silent murmur, unable to continue talking.

He was trembling slighty, his body seemed to be unable to hold all of the distress that was eating at his mind.

After he spoke, you held him close to you, your arms embraced him tightly, so he could cry, if he needed it, without feeling uncomfortable.

You rubbed his back gently to keep him calm, you knew that the moment that you were in was very delicate and that he needed your attention and support.

You let him get his thoughts out of his system.

His insecurities were very understandable.

It did not seem to be a problem of not wanting the baby, but rather a problem of fear and anxiety about what life the child might have.

You understood him perfectly, he had lived through a lot in his life and did not want to put that on his baby.

In front of you, you could see the man who was so confident, crumble into a pile of fears and insecurities. Insecurities that he don't let other people see.

"Mhm, you're right, my love. We don't know what will become of they future." Your voice was quiet, as if it were a lullaby to calm him down.

"I also know that that you are very afraid that they will go through the same thing as you. There, unfortunately you were alone…but now you have me." You could almost hear him holding back his sobs.

"The baby will have you and me. And I know we will make sure this child was the happiest and most protected by us."

With that, he stopped holding back his sobs, letting them out. As he clung to your chest, finding the comfort he longed for.

All he heard were your words, words that calmed him down like the sound of a song.

You held him close and comforted him, as if he was a child needing a gentle voice to help him fall asleep.

His head rested on your chest while your arms were wrapped around him.

"…" His breathing started to slow down, the tension was slowly being drained out of his body.

You could feel the softness of his body and his soft hiccups.

"Mhm.." He let out a sound, while with one of his hands, he wiped his wet cheeks.

You continued to stroke his hair and comfort him.

Love and affection.

"I love you." he spoke, his voice still trembling, but not with anxiety this time. "I love you so much."

The weight that seemed to be on his shoulders lifted, even if just a little, as the fear that had been tormenting him was starting to melt away.

He broke away from your grip a little and turned to face you, then he looked at you.

"I love you both." He said as he placed a hand on your belly.

The love he had in his gaze was undeniable. With his hand on your belly, the reality you were living felt much more real.

You smiled at him, and placed your hand over his, keeping it placed against your belly.

"We love you too, my dear."

©cherrylovelycherry do not repost, copy, translate, modify

Hii, May I request something? :0 Soooo...Y/n being Kazuha,Aether(bc this boy si so underrated)and Childe's little sister, and she is in those teenage age you know, and she gets hurt badly. What would they do to comfort her?If requests are not open feel free to ignore it! :D. <33

"ohana" means family...

# — characters: fem!reader, aether, lumine, paimon, childe

# — summary: ...and family means nobody gets left behind.

# — warnings: blood/violence mention

# — tags: hc/drabble format, canon divergent, platonic/familial hurt/comfort, fluff, sibling bonding, heartbreak (reader)

# — notes: y'know, i don't see much sibling!reader content! maybe that's just me, but even when i look, i don't see much.. so this is refreshing, thank you for the req, anon! i did spin the request a bit and only did two characters, though. as always, reblogs are appreciated, and i hope you enjoy!

✧ — 𝐚𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 — ✧

since you are the youngest -- born a year or two after the twins -- he and lumine treat you like you are the only star in their sky

you were too young to remember your parents, and after traveling so much, you all but forgot about them. your siblings were the only family you needed -- the only family you wanted.

(also, you don't mind them doting on you, but you wish they would stop babying you from time to time.)

before being stranded in teyvat, the three of you would travel between worlds together, experiencing all kinds of people and cultures and traditions, having all sorts of fun

the three of you only have each other, so you cherish one another very deeply. fights between you were actually rather rare

mostly because of your unstable lifestyle; if you fought and separated from each other, what were you supposed to do? all of you tried to avoid trouble with others and each other out of caution.

but then you encountered the unknown god and lumine went missing.

you and aether were stuck in an unfamiliar land with your new travel companion paimon, basically forced to help solve the problems of the people of this world until you get answers leading to lumine's whereabouts.

it wasn't all that bad at first; being gifted with the elements of both anemo and geo alongside your brother was exhilarating, and in your down time, you two would train and play around, keeping your spirits high

you and aether grew increasingly frustrated by your lack of clues, but you held each other up as best you could, trying to keep pushing forward

and then, with the help of dainsleif, you finally, finally got to see lumine

but... she refused to come home with you.

she left you.

a tense silence suffocates you as you and aether look over liyue harbor. not even paimon knows what to say after what just happened. you try to think of something to say -- something, anything -- but each time you open your mouth, you feel your throat tighten. now that you were in a quieter place, you felt like the sheer amount of thoughts that flooded your mind would start spilling out of your ears.

what were you supposed to say, anyways? were you even going to talk about it? what did any of that even mean? why were you still doing this? why couldn't you go home?

why did she leave you behind?

aether finally breaks the silence, his voice strained. "we need to keep moving," he says. his fists are trembling and his eyes are teary, but he tilts his chin up and takes a steadying breath. "if we want to understand what lumine was talking about, then we have to do what she says."

you frown at your brother. lumine was always the more stern sibling -- she was like a leader of sorts. without thinking, you and aether did what she said; she had very good judgement, so it wasn't much of a problem. but after all this--

"you still want to follow her?!" you cry. you didn't mean for your voice to come out so shrill and watery, but you can't help it. normally, it'd take you longer to get to this point -- to get to your breaking point -- but aether's attempt to put on a brave face makes your poorly built walls come crashing down. "you still want to do what she says? she's given up on us, aether, why would you still want to be in her good graces?!"

aether's glare is stony for all of two seconds before it smooths out, a glimmer of sunshine returning to them again. he calls your name as softly as he can muster. "that's not what i mean, and you know that."

you know he's right. a rational part of you agrees with him; if you want to have any hope of getting out of this world that has literally been forsaken by its gods, you were going to have to persevere. maybe at some point, lumine would return -- maybe she would keep her word and join you once more -- but until then, you were distraught, your heart shattered into near irreparable pieces over your sister's absence.

you sit yourself on the grass and grab a fistful of it, hoping the feeling will ground you. "what if she doesn't come back, ae'? w-what if she changes her mind and attacks us? you saw what she was capable of! she's a stranger now, aether, she--" you don't blink back the tears this time. "she had her sword. we don't have ours anymore. why is she doing this?"

aether doesn't move for a while. he watches silently as you break down, your frame shaking as sobs start to pour out of you. he doesn't know what to do either. as the eldest, the responsibility of caring for you and finding his twin sister fell on his shoulders, but he hadn't expected for lumine to just... refuse. the sight of you begging and pleading with lumine to come home replays in his mind, forcing his eyes shut.

the vow you three made all those years ago has been broken. you were never supposed to hurt each other like this; you were supposed to be each other's foundations. that hasn't changed one bit -- when lumine came back, he would be there for her as he always has been, and so would you. until then, he was going to protect the family he had left.

aether opens his eyes again and brushes any stray tears from his face before sitting next to you. he pulls you into a tight embrace and you return it immediately, burying your face in his shoulder.

you feel terrible; he should be the one crying, not you. sure, lumine is just as much your sister as she is his, but she's his twin; his other half. you tighten your hold on your brother. he's shaking like a leaf in the wind. he must be trying to carry the world on his shoulders right now. but as long as you were here, you'd never allow him to do that alone. "you're doing it again," you sniff after a while, your voice muffled by his shoulder. "you can let it out."

aether puts his hand on the back of your head. he's pulling you closer, if that was even possible. it's as if he's afraid you'll slip through his fingers too. "you need a shoulder to cry on, not me." he mutters. "just--"

"aether."

your brother flinches at your tone. he chuckles tightly. "who's older here, me or you?"

you return the gesture, burying your fingers in his blonde hair. he probably won't let it out yet; he's never been the type to do so. he and lumine were far better at controlling their emotions than you were. for now, you suppose you'll let it slide. "whatever," you sigh. "you can stop squeezing me, you know. i'm not gonna go anywhere. promise."

aether loosens his grip on you, but he doesn't let go. that must have been exactly what he needed to hear. "me neither." his voice is small, but his words are affirming. the two of you sigh in unison, making you giggle. "i'm not going anywhere. i swear."

it was you and your brother against this world. you wouldn't have it any other way.

✧— 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 — ✧

absolute pain in the ass older brother. the worst. horrible. annoying.

i'm kidding... sorta.

childe is the older brother who smushes your face with his hand just because he can

the brother who puts his entire body weight on you and challenges you to push him off

the brother who will literally fight you for the last snack in the pantry

but he's also the older brother who sits there and lets you play connect the dots with the freckles that barely exist on his face

the brother who does his best not to embarrass you when you're around friends or potential suitors

he's the best wingman in the world and the coolest older brother ever

his harbinger status means nothing to you

you're a big girl! you know what that means!

you don't brag about it; you show off your brother in a very different way

childe is prepared for many things. one could even say that he's prepared for anything.

monster ambush? no problem. an ancient deity threatening to sink all of liyue harbor? simple!

but childe... ajax was not prepared to see you sobbing in his office at northland bank.

when he arrived a few minutes earlier, every agent went on their guard. it's normal for them to do that since he's their boss, but something about their alertness was suspicious to him. he approached ekaterina and demanded to know what was going on.

"lord harbinger, it's..." the receptionist trailed off. her eyes were hidden by her mask, but childe could feel her looking away. he started to tap his finger on the wood; a sign of his growing impatience. not wanting to upset him further, ekaterina came clean. "it's your sister, sir."

childe's finger froze. "what about them?"

"they arrived not too long ago looking for you, but..."

"if you're doing this for dramatic effect, i will inform you right now that you're doing a terrible job. that," childe's finger began tapping again, faster this time, "and my patience is wearing very thin. what happened to my sister? tell me; that's an order."

though she was frightened, ekaterina couldn't bring herself to say any more. "she's in your office, sir. she wouldn't talk to any of us, so i feel that you should see the mess for yourself."

the mess? childe nodded briefly in thanks and sped to his office. it wasn't a far walk, but it felt like an eternity. were you okay? did someone hurt you? he grimaced as his hand hovered over the door to his office.

if someone did hurt you, was it because of him? it was no secret that he was a part of the fatui, and you'd been seen with him on multiple occasions. after the osial incident, people became particularly hostile towards the fatui, and even though you weren't a member yourself, you received the same foul treatment they did. probably even worse since you were childe's sister.

childe could handle the heat and he knew you could as well, but if someone touched you...

fueled by a sudden wave of anger, he swung open the door to the office and saw you hunched over in a chair, your face in your hands. you were trying to muffle your sobs from the sound of it, and--

was that blood on your shirt?

ajax is crouching in front of you in an instant. he's always been good at consoling you and your siblings. to the others, he's the perfect older brother; the one who sends trinkets and souvenirs from his travels; the one who's always kind and considerate, even when he's upset. but when he tugs your hands away from your face, he's anything but gentle.

he confirms what he saw before getting closer. there's splotches of blood your shirt, and when he inspects your hands closely and sees your knucles cut and bruised, he puts the pieces together. "you got in a fight." he says tersely. "whose blood is this?"

"s'not mine," you sniff. you try to pry your hands away, but ajax's grip is unrelenting. you don't know why you bothered in the first place. you look away from your brother, feeling like a scolded child under his harsh gaze. ajax always, always told you never to fight unless absolutely necessary. he was very clear about why you shouldn't.

"there's strength in numbers," he told you quietly. he was almost whispering, as though he was telling you something he shouldn't. "people won't stand up for you in a fight -- they would gang up on you instead."

you wrinkled your nose at him. "but you always fight people in groups."

ajax flashed you a cocky grin and squeezed your nose, chuckling when you fought him off. "yeah, but that's because i'm stronger than you, kid." his grin dropped off his face as fast as it came. "now pay attention. do you know why else you shouldn't get into fights here?"

you thought for a second and pointed at the electro vision on your hip questioningly, but ajax shook his head at you.

"close, but no. the second reason," he started, "is because of this." without warning, he pulls a small dagger out his back pocket and holds it to your neck. you don't waste a second, moving to disarm him as quickly as he taught you. almost in the blink of an eye, you've taken the blade from your brother and pressed it against his neck. his smile came back, this time full of pride.

"now, do you know why i don't want you fighting others?" he asked. "it's because you're my sister."

call him a bad influence, but ajax feels a familiar sense of pride swell in his chest when you tell him the blood isn't yours. there's also relief mixed in there somewhere, but it's overshadowed by the satisfaction. he doesn’t smile at you though; he's got to keep up the act. he wants to praise you for doing a good job, but you were a wreck before he came in, and you obviously wouldn't be covered in someone's blood for no reason. he keeps 'big brother mode' turned on and lets you go. "well? what happened?"

you find a clean part of your sleeve and wipe your face free of tears. you're trying to stall for time, but ajax can tell. you sigh and recount the story to him.

it wasn't your fault.

you were minding your business, taking a stroll down by the docks when some large fishermen recognized you and began to shout for you to leave. you ignored them; this happened every so often, so it was easy to tune them out. you kept on your stroll, walking down by the water.

you've always been fascinated by the water, even when you were still in snezhnaya. you envied your brother's hydro vision once, but after giving it some thought, you figured that there was no one better suited for it than him. that, and it made sparring with him all the more interesting. after basking in the sun for a little while longer, you decided to head back to northland bank to wait for ajax to return. but as soon as you turned to leave, you found yourself blocked by four boys, each one taller than you.

"do you guys need something?" you asked.

their scathing words went in one ear and out the other. each of them had something to rude say about you; they must have been trying to get a rise out of you.

enraged by your nonchalance, one of the boys shoved you, hard. you caught yourself just before you could fall into the water and gave them an icy glare -- it was the one you've seen ajax give his opponents every now and again. it obviously didn't have the same effect, because the boys decided to rush you.

after that...

"after that?" ajax prompts you to continue, but you shake your head. "then, why were you crying? did they hurt you? do i have to intervene? talk to me."

man, if only the fatui knew ajax could look like this. the stern look has long since faded and been replaced by concern. he's pulled out his handkerchief and started wiping your face and hands with such tenderness, you almost forget that he's a harbinger. you tell him the truth. "some locals saw me fighting." you mumble. "they called the millelith and said i just went beserk and started punching them, but they touched me first, ajax! what else was i supposed to do? none of them believed me -- no one helped me, no one stood up for me, i-- i was so alone, and--"

your brother balls up his handkerchief and sits in the chair beside you. his arm wraps around your shoulders and he shushes you as tears begin to fall again. for a while, he just lets you cry. if there's anyone on teyvat who knows what you're feeling, it's ajax.

he sees so much of himself in you. it terrifies him; breaks what's left of his heart into smaller pieces.

a large part of ajax wants to resort to his usual methods. he wants nothing more than to press you for details so he can find the people who hurt you and teach them a lesson, but when he glances at you again, he figures that now is as good a time as any to give it a rest. this isn't a mess he'd ever be able to clean up, and you've been hurt enough; he doesn't want to make it worse.

instead, he drops a gloved hand on your head. "you did a good job," he says with a serene smile. for a split second, you see some light in ajax's eyes. it always happens whenever he speaks to you or your other siblings -- it's one of your favorite sights in the world. "i'm so proud of you."

"but," you frown, "i beat people up."

ajax laughs heartily. "you think i'm gonna be mad at you for fighting someone? me? really? c'mon."

he has a point. he did advise you not to fight, but if it can't be helped, then it can't be helped. you lean your head on his shoulder. "i still made those people hate me."

ajax hums. "well, they're gonna hate you -- hate us -- regardless of what we do. that's just life. i wish i could send you home, kid; i'm sorry you have to go through this because of me."

his voice goes soft at the end. he must be beating himself up about all this. you flex your fingers, hissing when the cuts begin to sting. "i don't wanna go home, ajax. not without you. i can handle this! i guess i just need more practice."

your brother tilts his head down at you, an incredulous smile on his face. "you were just crying because you got in a fight and you're already trying to start another one?" he asks. he nudges you gently off his shoulder and makes his way across the room. he comes back with a first aid kit and kneels in front of you again, taking your hand and starts to treat the wounds. "if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were trying to take my job."

you wince when an alcohol pad swipes over your knuckles. "who knows, maybe i'll become the new eleventh harbinger some day."

ajax looks up at you, his eyes flashing. you know that look very well. "is that a challenge?"

"you bet your ass it is!"

"that's my girl. as soon as i'm done with your hands, it's on. clear?"

you nod sharply. "crystal."

✧ (i've never felt so alive <(￣︶￣)> i hope you enjoyed it!!)

First of all I’d like to apologize for leaving Chongyun out of these requests- I really just couldn’t get in the headspace for him on this one for some reason, I’m sorry!

Also, this is my first time for writing Scaramouche and if you couldn’t tell, I’m a sucker for Soft!Scara. 😔 sorry if you were expecting something harsher! I’ll figure out how to write for him as I go since I got a few more req’s with him in it.

And lastly, these got a lot longer than I intended, so whoops.

Xiao, Albedo, Scaramouche Neglecting Their S/O

Xiao:

Xiao:

Waiting for Xiao to come back to the Wangshu Inn after a full day of exorcising demons was not out of the ordinary for you, but that was only under normal circumstances.

You knew Xiao. Or at least, you liked to think you did- Having been in a romantic relationship for several years, and companionship for even longer, gave you the idea that you could call yourself a Xiao expert, at least when it came to all beings except the Geo Archon himself. So when he disappears for long swathes of time without any word or warning, you worry, but ultimately trust him to come back home to you at the end of it all.

That’s not how it’d gone as of recent, however. Xiao would be gone for weeks, and it isn’t until you hear from Goldet that you know he returned for a short amount of time before leaving again, leaving you in the dust. It seemed at every turn you would miss him by the thread of a hair, at one point catching his figure fading away into the night sky as you climbed to the tallest balcony of the Inn. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was avoiding you.

...But you knew him, right?

You couldn’t be so sure anymore. Contemplating the reason for Xiao’s consistent disappearances, you gazed down dejectedly at the deflated and now room-temperature Almond Tofu in front of you on the table. You had just tried calling his name, if only to get him to appear for just a few seconds before he was off again- But nothing. He never appeared. He never came at your call the first, second, fifth, eighth time- And with each one the tears welled up more and more in your eyes before spilling over, and with it came the choking feeling in your throat. You couldn’t call out his name anymore, afraid to be met with silence once again.

He said he’d be there when you called, that he’d protect you from danger, but where was he now? Was he hurt, and couldn’t get to you, and you couldn’t even help him? Or was he listening to each and every call, but ignoring them and hoping you’d forget his name eventually? Why couldn’t he just tell you if he didn’t want you around anymore?

Each thought swarmed inside your head, creating a miasma that only you could feel. It consumed you so much that you hadn’t even noticed Xiao walk onto the balcony, hadn’t noticed the worried call of your own name from his lips, or the sound of footsteps as he hurriedly neared you. It was only when he kneeled on one knee and grabbed your shoulder that you registered his presence, sobs silencing in shock. You stared at him, wondering if he was actually here, but all worries were disproven when he spoke.

“You’re crying. Why? Who hurt you?” Xiao asked, looking ready to summon his spear at the possible names you’d respond with. You sniffled, wiping your puffy eyes with your sleeve.

“N-no one...It’s just…” You bit your lip, unable to look him in the eye all of a sudden. “Xiao...Do you...Do you even love me anymore? Did I do something wrong to make you run so far away all the time? Please, tell me the truth.” You pleaded with him, closing your eyes and waiting for his answers.

Xiao stayed there in shocked silence, unable to comprehend you at this moment. Of course he loved you! Didn’t you know that was why he’d been gone for so long, fighting the cursed entities of Liyue so that you may walk it free of worries?

“Wait...You think I’ve been gone...Because of you?” He asked, unbelieving and with guilt already gnawing away at the inside of his chest.

“What else could it be? I haven’t seen you in nearly a month, Xiao- I wait every day for you, and I always seem to have just missed you every time you come back...I called your name, too, and…” You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. “...And you never came. Not even after many times. I thought you’d never come home…” It felt liberating to finally tell him after all this time, but the pain still lingered and stung inside your chest, eyes still red and burning with tears. Why couldn’t he answer you?

“You...Called my name…” Xiao looked as if he’d seen a ghost, realization dawning on him. You’d called his name and he never came, and that fact hit him like a meteor. How had he not heard you? He made one promise and broke it more than he thought he could even mend it.

“S/O, I…I apologize, I didn’t…I love you.” Was all Xiao managed to get out, knowing he wasn’t good with words meant he’d have to show you some other way. He stood and took you with him, arms coming around your waist and tugging you tightly to him. Xiao buried his face in your neck, inhaling your scent- Safe and familiar, but he could also smell your misery. He made you feel like this, and he hated himself for it. “I love you.” He repeated, trying to convey everything into just those three words.

You felt them in your soul, knowing he didn’t just say them so casually, reserving them for special occasions that he felt needed more than just affection or platitudes. Hearing the affirmation released the tension within your body, and you hugged him back just as tightly, never wanting to let go. “I love you too, Xiao.”

With a mantra of the same three words from Xiao, you knew he’d always come home to you from now on.

Albedo:

You sat in the dark of your home, alone and cold, as you contemplated the past few months events.

The Chief Alchemist came to you one day and warned that he was nearing a breakthrough on an old theory he’d had years ago- One he couldn’t pass the opportunity up on finally solving. He warned that he may become rather distant, distracted, curt- You appreciated the communication, and understood immediately how important this was to him, so you let him know you’d give him the time and space he needed.

But Albedo had never been gone this long, had never strayed from you like this...Even if he was busier than ever, he’d always accepted your passing kisses and reminders to take care of himself, often times even mumbling out an idle “I love you” that brought heat to your cheeks and a swell of adoration in your chest. He was distant, yes, but you knew this going into the relationship. It was just a part of who he was, to become engrossed and passionate in his projects of alchemy and science. It’s one of the things that you fell for, among many others.

Albedo tried back then. He tried to see you, tried to plan dates and spend time with you even if all you did was nap together. He tried to reciprocate every kiss, every touch, every effort that you put in. He once told you that it was only fair he made you as happy as you made him. Wasn’t that still true? Or did he finally grow tired of you, tired of maintaining such a high-effort relationship that has seen its use through? Did Albedo still care for you, or was this simply a way for him to get you to break up, to wear your patience and heart thin enough to snap at a single breeze?

Whatever it was, it worked, and here you sat at the dinner table trying not to let the salty tears fall the more you thought about the enveloping loneliness you’ve experienced for months on end. You wanted to be hopeful, you really did- But it was hard when at every turn, Albedo made himself scarce.

This was the 14th date he’d agreed and never shown up to, and perhaps it would be the last.

You made no move to get up when the front door finally swung open, a clearly fatigued figure making its way through the frame one heavy step at a time before closing and locking it. You knew it was Albedo- But what did that matter now when the food and candles had long gone cold, and your heart ever so colder? You couldn’t bear to look at him now, the tears finally falling but still made no sound, no movement.

“S/O? What are you doing awake so late?” Albedo asked, his voice a hoarse whisper like he hadn’t used it in ages. He probably hadn’t, in all actuality.

“Nothing.” Was all you said, miserably watching your tears stain the wood surface of the table in the light of the moon.

“That’s-“

You interrupted him before he could even start. “Do you even love me anymore, Albedo? Or are we done here?”

Expecting the silence that ensued for several minutes, you stood from the chair and made way for the bedroom, intent on leaving him to the couch. The silence was all the answers you needed, and thought perhaps you could find a way to pack his things and bring them to him without causing a scene at the Favonius headquarters-

Until a hand around your wrist stopped you.

“Wait- S/O...Where is this coming from?” He asked, hopelessly lost. You almost laughed, if not for the crushing tension in your chest. You turned around, ripping your wrist from his grip and watching his expression turn to one of surprise and...Hurt?

“Where is this coming from? Albedo, we haven’t seen each other in months!” Your voice shook with emotion, but continued. “You don’t talk to me, whenever I come to see you the knights won’t let me in, you come home when I’m asleep and leave before I awake- And when I do finally get a hold of you to ask for some time together, you make a promise and break it just as fast! Yet again I’ve sat at home waiting for you, but you never come home.” You started off strong, but the tears and pain took hold and made you weak near the end, voice tapering off to a broken whisper.

“I just want you to come home, Albedo…” You couldn’t bear to look at him anymore, hiding in shaking hands and vainly wiping away tears. “I know you told me this might happen, but...It still hurts…” What was the point in this? Was he even listening? He still hadn’t said a thing, and it just might drive you crazy not getting any real answers.

Finally, you heard footsteps approach you, before the warmth of his embrace enveloped you fully. You broke, sobbing loudly in his arms as he rubbed your back soothingly, pressing light kisses to your head. You let it all out, clutching his shirt and not even caring that tears and snot stained it. Hearing your agony shattered his heart, but he knew it was nothing compared to what you’re feeling right now.

It took a while to calm down, but eventually you silenced, only a few stray tears and hiccups escaping now. Albedo continued to hold you tightly, not letting go in the slightest. He feels as though if he did, you’d slip through his fingers and he’d be alone yet again. Ironic, isn’t it?

“I’m so sorry, my flower...I never meant to hurt you. I simply...Ah, let me be honest- I had forgotten what truly mattered, and neglected you, allowing you to suffer the consequences of my actions and assuming you’d still be here when I finished my work.” He pulled back slightly to see you, a hand coming up to cup your reddened cheek. You shakily looked back at him, still unsure, but the gentle look in his eyes and curve of his brow was more than you were expecting to see. Had he...Finally listened?

“I put my work above you when it never mattered nearly as much in hindsight, and for that I am truly sorry. I know my promises as of late haven’t been reliable, but...Will you allow me to make one more, so that I may correct my mistakes?” You knew this was his way of asking for forgiveness, and it was still so hard to deny him despite all the pain he’d put you through recently…So, taking a deep breath, you rested your ear against his chest and exhaled heavily.

“Alright...This is the last promise, Albedo. If you break it, I’m not sure there will be much of me left to mend.” As you said that, you could hear his heartbeat’s pace quicken, though for what reason you weren’t entirely sure. Fear, perhaps, at what you’d insinuated? Or excitement that you were giving him one last chance? Perhaps it was both...

“I’ll keep you intact, S/O, my beloved. I promise.”

Scaramouche:

They always warned you about the trials of dating a Harbinger, but you stupidly ignored them all.

The fact that you managed to capture the attention, and more miraculously affection, of the Balladeer was almost unbelievable some days. You weren’t Fatui yourself, but you’d seen him work many a times, and became familiar with how he carried himself in the presence of literally anyone but you. The drastic change in demeanor almost gave you whiplash at the start of it all- He’d threaten and throw around harsh orders for his subordinates all day long, but as soon as he turned to you, Scaramouche became soft as a slime, and just as pliable to your desires as well.

Sure, he still held a rather gruff exterior as he pined for your attention and touch, but he really meant you no harm. The last thing the man wanted to do was hurt the one good thing he has in his life, the one person who supports and loves him unconditionally. He’d never do anything to cause you to leave, to end the bliss you two had together.

Or so you thought.

Scaramouche’s mood took a wild turn one day after coming home, slamming the door and declaring all of humanity as scum. Having heard this speech before, you came over to offer comfort and reprieve as you always did, only to be roughly shoved off and ignored as he stormed his way to the bedroom, going to bed and leaving you there in the middle of your shared home. Idly you realize he’d never done that before- Never once handled you half as rough as he just did, and that fact shook you to the core. Who managed to affect Scaramouche so horribly that he took it out on even you? Whatever it was, you were sure he’d be better in the morning and maybe even apologize to you then.

Except he didn’t, and the mood continued for days. You tried everything you could think of to help him regain a semblance of the softness he usually displayed with you. Anywhere from his favorite meals to drawing relaxing baths with the products he favored, you tried to alleviate the stress, but nothing seemed to work. It escalated to him outright ignoring you, and after a few more days, he stopped coming home altogether.

It ate away at you, but what could you do, more than what you’ve already done? Slowly you began to have doubts, doubts that you’ve never encountered once before in your whole relationship with Scaramouche- Did he still care about you the same way he once did? Was he fed up with the world and, by extension, you? Why did he seem to have little mercy now for your feelings, little regard for the loneliness and worry he’s putting you through? He hasn’t stepped through your door in weeks. In a way, you wonder if this is how he’s chosen to leave you. Wordless, and without reprieve.

It all comes crashing down on you when he finally does walk through the front door, hat already discarded and in his hands as he hangs it up on the coat rack beside him. He acts as if he never left for days on end, never left your heart in shattered pieces- And he doesn’t acknowledge you until you start bawling right there on the couch. Unable to contain the pain anymore, you curl over and cry, wanting him to say something, anything at all.

You barely hear the stuttered breath that comes from him, but you definitely hear the frantic footsteps in your direction before your hands are pulled from your face, and are met with the concerned gaze of the Balladeer. It’s the first time you’ve seen anything other than rage on his face, and it’s such a relief that you almost laugh.

“Hey, why are you crying? What happened? Tell me already! I’ll kill whoever-“ He starts, but is interrupted by the pull of your arms around his neck, and the presence of warm tears staining his shirt from where you bury your face. Shocked, but not unwelcoming, he tentatively holds you.

“P-please don’t leave me! I don’t know what I can do, I just- Do you even love me anymore, Scara?” You babble uselessly, not even fully aware of what you’re saying, but talking is easing the pain and you’re not about to stop.

“Hey, that’s...Of course I do, what the hell is this about?” He questions, and even though he’s confused, he feels like this has to do with the past two weeks…

No one ever said he was a genius in social skills.

“You...You’ve just been so angry recently, even with me, I...I’ve been scared…Scared I did something, that it wasn’t work that had you in a bad mood but instead me!” You confessed.

“Scared?” Scara mused, unbelieving. He scared you? How had he not noticed that? Was he really so wrapped up in his own anger that he ignored how it affected you as well? “...You didn’t do anything wrong, S/O. I’m...Sorry...I made you feel like that.” You could hear the strain in his voice, knowing even if he could be gentle with you, that didn’t mean he suddenly was okay with verbalizing tenderness just as well. It was still hard.

You shook your head, which just rubbed your face into his shirt again. “Please don’t shut me out, Scara. Not again. I can’t be alone right next to you like that again.” Feeling his hand scratch lightly at your back, a sigh brushed across your shoulder from where his chin rested.

“I won’t leave you alone. I promise.”

———

NSFW HCs

Xiao:

After that night, Xiao made good on his promise to come home to you every night he could.

While his job to protect Liyue is hardly contained within the daylight hours, there are some times where he can spare a few hours to see you to bed, but not always to sleep…

The night you broke down in particular, he made a point to make you happy again. He feels incredibly guilty for being a source of sadness for you, that he would do anything to make up for it.

When it was time for bed, he laid with you and cuddled for a while before asking if he could make it up to you in a more...intimate way.

You agreed, and he made sure to worship every part of you. With his tongue, his hands, his lips, eyes, anything to coax those addictive moans out of you.

He won’t cum that night unless you take things into your own hands. He insists on focusing on you, forgoing his own pleasure in pursuit of ravishing you completely. If you hadn’t cum more than 3 times before he even thought about sticking his dick inside you, he wasn’t doing it right.

Xiao made sure that by the end of the night, you knew how thoroughly he loves you.

Albedo:

He promised to keep you intact, but later that night he made you fall apart in all the best ways.

Ever the dutiful scientist, Albedo recalls all the little mental note of the best places to touch you, and abuses them to your benefit. He’s aware of each and every little sensitive spot, of what gets you going faster than anything else, of what words to say to get you to keen so sweetly in his ear.

He does whatever you ask of him, tonight is all about you he says. If you want him to take control, he will. If you want to take control, he’ll oblige without a complaint.

Not that he normally would anyway, but there’s an eagerness in each and every movement that Albedo rarely ever has that tells you tonight is special.

Absolutely overstimulates you into oblivion, and at the end of the night, you can barely even recall why you were crying earlier.

The night fades into morning when Albedo lets you rest, and stays in bed for as long as you want him.

Anything to make it up to you.

Scaramouche:

True to his word, Scaramouche doesn’t leave you alone for a single second the rest of the night.

In fact, he all but carries you to the bedroom, promising he’d find some ways to make it up to you and ease the loneliness a little faster.

Ease them he does, and with every gentle caress you can feel the nights tensions fly away into the breeze that floats through the open window. He’s more tender, slower tonight than he’s been any other night- You can tell he’s sorry just by the way he kisses you deeply.

Never breaks eye contact as he brings you to orgasm again and again, asking if you want another, and another, and another-

You’ll have to be the one to ask for his cock, otherwise he doesn’t even think about using it that night. But once you do, his thrusts are slow, powerful, languid- Each one hitting spots that make you see stars.

Incredibly meticulous, and calculated. He knows where to touch, and when. He’s got your body down to an instrument he expertly plays, and don’t you dare hide those moans. He wants to hear it all.

Scaramouche wants to hear the loneliness leave your body with every drop of cum that slides out of you.

[video]

me: *watches anime*

me: *posts about anime*

me: *has anime character as icon*

me: *has anime character as header*

me: *has anime quote as blog title*

me: *downloads anime wallpaper*

me: *buys anime merchandise*

me: *learns lyrics to anime openings*

me: *downloads anime openings into itunes*

me: anime

person: wow you’re a weeb lol

me: 

some after party kinda thing :^)

Thinking about marrying Aventurine and his face when he sees you walking down the aisle.

He's always so cool and confident. Always has an answer, a plan, a way out. Nothing can crack his exterior cover. Except for you.

He's never in his life cried in front of others. But here he was, standing at the altar, tears threatening to blur his vision as he watched you walk towards him.

You looked ethereal. Your white dress trailed behind you and gently sparkled in the sunlight. Your makeup accentuated all the features he already loved about you, and your hair cascaded down your back and framed your perfect face. You looked like an angel. Like salvation.

He did his best to keep his tears from flowing, not wanting to miss a single second of your walk towards him. Towards the rest of your lives together.

As you approached, he held out his hand to help you up onto the altar.

His purple-blue eyes glistened as he gazed into your own. Into his future. A future he never expected to have, at least until you came into his life.

With you he saw a future he wanted to protect and cherish. There would be no more staking it on risky gambles. Not anymore.

Instead, as he placed your ring on your finger, he also placed his most valuable chip in your hands: his heart.

It was all or nothing. And he decided to give you it all. His future, his life, his heart, it was all yours now. You were the best gamble he ever took, he thought, as he said "I do."

Vigil ✤ Kazuha

V i g i l

A/N: Here is the Kazuha angst, sweeties :')) I wrote this with my prepared angsty playlist hehe- I.. well, my heart cracked..

✤ She/her

Words: 3.9k

"Text in this format means dialogue in flashback!"

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

The memory of peering into the crib with excited blabbers remains fresh, untarnished with the passing of time.

It feels like it’s just yesterday when your mother reached for the wailing baby laying inside to hand him in your caring touch.

“This is your little brother, [Name].” you squealed when the boy clung unto your finger, “His name is Kazuha. Be a good sister for him, understand?”

“Yes!”

Ah, that did feel as if it was just yesterday.

“Nee-chan!”

Dropping the basket of laundry, you frantically looked around.

“Nee-chan!”

“Kazuha-!?”

He was sprinting, arms flailing as tears spilled past his eyes and panicked exclaims left his lips. His friend was chasing him from behind, laughing as he waved an undercooked fish—your brother’s worst nightmare.

Comedic but understandable.

“Tomo’s making me eat it!” your younger brother mumbled behind you, pointing accusingly towards his friend who sheepishly spluttered excuses at your stern gaze.

Taking the skewered fish in Tomo’s hands, you hummed, patting his and Kazuha’s heads.

“How about I cook something for the both of you, instead? How’s that sound?”

“Yes, please! Nee-chan’s cooking is the best!”

You can never get tired of cooking for the two of them, even if your sibling eventually asked to be taught, you find yourself still taking over cooking duty. Lovingly whipping up dishes is your forte.

It stuck around when the household eventually lost the attending servants following the fall of the Kaedehara clan. It even stuck through the grim times of your parents’ passing.

Kazuha had went through so much at a young age, changed little by little—and you aren’t oblivious to it. With his growth, you are a witness to his budding shell of maturity.

Single years fold into a decade and all of a sudden, the mirthful silverette who doesn’t last a day without calling you ‘big sister’ has grown up.

Far too quickly, to be honest, but who are you to hold him back?

“You don’t call me ‘nee-san’ nowadays,” you laugh jokingly, “My, you’ve grown so much, Kazu!”

He stares at the plates of food you set on the dining table, his sigh small and feeble as you continue gushing. Albeit he has a smile on his face, it appears tight. Forced.

But you turn a blind eye to that—you’ve always been doing it.

Now, however, it seems that your brother has grown tired of humoring you. It has been going on for too long.

“I’m not some child anymore..” his monotonous voice is so unlike him—it’s as if he no longer is the person you grew up with.

Having him address it bluntly prompts you to pause, the only sound being the sizzling of unagi meat, frying to perfection. The richness of its color, however, dulls when you process what your sibling has mentioned.

As if its vividness is an illusion meant to shield you from present-day reality.

Still, you shake it away, keeping the smile on your face as you set the fried meat on a new plate, turning to put it down on the table beside the other dishes.

“Oh, Ka-“ you stop, seeing the look in his eyes.

The way his carmine optics bore against your [c]s is foreign.

It’s scary.

It’s different. It’s new.

You sit down in front of him, trying not to show how restless you’ve become. Such an attempt is futile, of course, since you’re in front of the person you’ve been with for years.

“Kazu-“

Thud!

Silence zips your lips when he lays his chopsticks down. It isn’t by any means a slam—but someone like Kazuha doesn’t need to be outright with anything in order to express a negative opinion.

“So please refrain from initiating unnecessary coddling,” he cuts you off with a swivel as he leaves for the door. “I have grown up now, sister. I... need you less.”

What?

A multitude of emotions hit you at once, all coming from his sudden statement that feels like it can tear you apart. But oh—who were you kidding?

You know that this will eventually come.

The very day where he admits that he is capable of being alone. Without you.

The opening of the door causes you to stand from your chair, “Wait!”

He does as you said but doesn’t look back. His hand remains on the handle of the knob, unchanging of his decision to leave.

You tug the black and red scarf from your neck, inching close to the man so you can wrap it around his neck. “It’s cold outside.. won’t you at least eat something?”

It takes him a moment to respond—but his decision does not change.

He detangles the fabric on his neck and, without looking you in the eye, sets it in your hand, rejecting your offer.

“Later.”

And he’s gone.

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

Nothing changed much after he left with that declaration.

Often times he still returns in the dead of night, a smile on his face. It will only ever droop when you come in the room greeting him a lovely evening, and he will sigh.

“I told you not to wait up for me.”

He will depart for his room before he can hear your explanation.

It leaves you hanging, hollow with bitter hope and refusal to believe that you both have reached that time in life where he doesn’t need you as much.

Each time he turns his back, you are filled to the brim with sorrow you didn’t know you’re capable of holding.

Retreating to the upper floor of your home, you will stay at the balcony sighing your concerns away to the stars. To the place where you believe your parents are staying, listening to your bouts of frustration and worry.

“Was I a good sibling for him, mother? Father?” you’ll sometimes mutter as you play with your silver locks, the only thing you share with your sibling other than the forgotten name of a once esteemed clan.

And as you vent all these to the stars, you remain oblivious to the lone figure hiding by the shadows in the adjacent room. His frown is tiny. Sad, but not guilty.

Kazuha will leave once again before he’ll hear his sister’s frustrated cries.

Sometimes, he will chew over it when he is wandering Inazuma—thinking, pondering if perhaps there could’ve been a way to say it without hurting his sibling. But as he contemplates over and over, he finds that there is no easy method to admitting the truth.

His friend Tomo, albeit not being told anything, is naturally cognizant of the things revolving around the silver-haired siblings. The older sister’s presence has been diminishing and he can count her appearances at Kazuha’s side getting less.

He has implied several times to make up with the female even if they had no outright argument, and when faced with a baffled question of ‘why’, Tomo only smiles.

“Because you’re family.”

So simple and yet—when Kazuha thinks of the matter a minute longer, the taste in his tongue becomes acrid.

“What upsets you?” his friend questions as he coos over his white feline, “You’re not the Kazuha who’s always crying for big sister, heh.”

The silverette cannot even find it within him to send a retort. His silence, to others, is a message that typifies a want to be alone—but to Tomo, who has known him since they’re both children, that silence is different.

With a hum, he stretches his limbs, yawning as his cat rolls around the grass.

“You know, [Name] won’t hate you for wanting it,” he starts, “You want to wander, don’t you? But you feel like you’re tied down. You’re grounded—because [Name] is here.”

Kazuha flinches and his friend snickers.

Spot on.

“I’m just going to repeat what I said because I meant it, Kazuha. Tell her the truth. She’s literally the most understanding person I know—it’s not like she’s going to despise you for wanting something.”

“… I’ll think about it.”

Tomo sighs. It’s not what I was hoping for but it’s a start.

Remembering something that moment, Tomo lets out a loud scream that nearly sent his friend toppling in the nearby stream of water. Kazuha looks on with slightly wide eyes as the other man jumps to his feet, violet eyes gleaming.

“Oh, right! I plan to initiate another challenge!”

Another challenge…

Kazuha closes his eyes with a hum, “I do hope you’ll last another. You’ve been faced with the worst of the worst.”

The chuckles that leave his friend’s lips are excited and sort of expectant.

“It’s going to be the ultimate one of all! So if you’ll excuse me~”

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

Perhaps a talk with your brother will do you both good.

You’ve both been acting like strangers walking on eggshells underneath the same house and it is driving you insane. He’s not even looking you in the eye anymore!

Given his quiet personality, confrontation will be difficult, but he’s a cooperative person. Besides, he always hears you out.

There isn’t any reason for him not to when he knows that this will be done only for the betterment of the future.

So, with a nervous disposition but eager heart to settle things right, you lift the basket from its place with plans to head over to the market. It’s an hour or two before dusk, just the perfect time to shop for dinner.

“Mm.. some dry-braised salted fish for tonight sounds lovely.” You muse, remembering how the dish is your brother’s favorite.

Ah, the number of tries he takes to perfect and stylish it into his own can’t be forgotten.

It doesn’t take too long to cook it, but you’ll be making tons of other side dishes and dessert, so it’s best to start early!

You exit the abode, the smile on your face present as ever even when you’re greeted outside by a couple of Shogunate Soldiers. Their features appear sterner, their hold on their naginata rock solid.

“Are you Kaedehara [Name]?”

Hm?

“Yes. Can I help you?”

The soldiers lunge forward, spears falling to a position pointing at you from all possible angles, cutting any means of escape as you furrow your brows. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“Your brother has defied the Decree of the Shogun and was hereby declared a criminal. Going against an Imperial Decree results in punishment inclusive to his immediate family.”

Your basket falls to the ground.

Thud!

Kazuha’s feet create a loud sound following his landing, a breath of panic expelling past as he rushes away.

The warmth in his hand escalates to a scalding degree, burning and searing like the fading power of Electro held within the golden casing.

To think that that was what Tomo meant.. !

He does not feel anger, no, just the burn of desperation and want to hide his friend’s Vision because he doesn’t want it to be taken away—to be placed in that statue that displays the lost ambitions of many others.

He’ll be damned before the Shogunate can take it… !

The criminal evades those at his tail, making swift maneuvers on rooftops and alleys without a second thought. His limbs are answering his every command, be it to duck, to jump—or to even draw his blade.

He is still ways away from the port but getting there won’t prove to be too complex for someone like him. He’s cut down plenty of the samurai in his escape from Tenshukaku,

Tomo…

“You’re family. Tell her.”

Family—

“This is the first one in a long time I’ve heard of it being extended-! To whom again? The clan that has lost its prestige a decade ago, right?” he almost trips in his sprinting, darting to an alleyway so he can further eavesdrop.

Did I hear that correctly?

A relieved sigh escapes when those chasing him run past his hiding spot.

Sucking in his breath, the silverette tightens his grip on the faded Vision of his best friend as he listens in the hushed conversation.

“Be quiet!” someone hisses, “If someone overhears us, what next? Still, I do feel bad.. they lost so much already. I can’t believe they’d drag an innocent person into it, too..”

“Well, there’s nothing we can do. The Shogun issued the penalty to immediate families, right? As far as I know, there are only two Kaedeharas left—”

Kazuha feels his heart stopping. Kaede..hara?

There’s no mistaking it.

But why—?

Why would a punishment meant for him extend to her?

She’s innocent!

Going off-course, he sprints in the direction of his house. The house that he lives in with his sister who takes great care of him—the same sister he’s willing to leave in favor of chasing what he wants in life.

He’s willing to, but he doesn’t.

Because perhaps—perhaps if he stayed and buried his desire, then he will amount to the same greatness she has done for him. But he cannot stand it, either. As patient as he is, as kind and ‘gentle’, [Name] can always see through his face.

He’s always been antsy—always itching to wander and he’s stumped that his sister is well-aware of that fact. Still, she’s always playing the ignorant one, pretending not to care- still coddling him as if he’s little and he’s had… enough of it.

But now that the situation has pinned this misfortune upon them, the ronin realizes that she’s only pretending for his sake, as well.

“Cut that out, I don’t need it. I fear that.. you will only embarrass yourself.”

Wasn’t it him who refused to tell her of his want to roam free in the first place?

“I understand that I am your brother—but there is no need to worry over me all the time. I can look after myself, [Name]. Do worry about something else, instead.”

Wasn’t it him who stuck around, still?

The bitterness in his tongue increases with each leap of his feet. He doesn’t even process the race of his heart as he’s carried through the same path that leads him home. To his family—to his only sister.

Everything seems to pass by slowly, in a blur, like the specks that decorate his vision the more his mind throws stacks and stacks of memories. This is madness.

Complete and utter madness.

He rounds the corner to see the figure of his only sibling, her back turned to him—she cannot see him, but he can see the armed soldiers flanking around her.

His throat tightens and certainly, he wouldn’t have been able to utter a word due to how it feels like his throat has been crushed.

“[Name]!”

Yet, the furious scream that tears past his lips denies all kinds of ‘impossibility’ the instant he sees the female falling to the ground, the sight of red splatter making him draw his blade.

Whoosh!

The summoned wind is opposingly gentle to the brewing storm in someone’s beautiful carmine eyes.

“[Name]-.. !”

That voice.. Kazuha?

Sometimes, the depth of emotion in Kazuha’s eyes is too deep for you to understand. Despite being so silent, he’s so, so expressive with his stares.

That even when he isn’t trembling when he lifts your torso, you know how much he’s quaking from within.

“What are you.. doing here? You have to go,” you cough red when he adjusts you in his arms, the sight of the fallen soldiers reminding you of the situation at hand. “Quick—before they.. catch you.”

He shakes his head,

“I’m taking you with me, I have a boat prepared, come, let’s—”

“Don’t lie to me, Kazuha.”

He pauses, flitting his gaze down to meet yours. You hate how you can’t seem to focus on him, though. Your sight is blurring in and out, only providing small intervals of clarity where you can see the panic in his features.

A sight you didn’t think you’d see on him until now.

“I know you made it for yourself. You’ve been planning to leave home, weren’t you? I’m not..” you’re not oblivious to his wish, “I’m not mad. I was only holding you back, wasn’t I?”

He sucks in a breath.

“I-I-“

What was he supposed to say?

Weakly tapping his arm, you start taking quick breaths—just to take in all the air you can while tolerating the gaping wound from being impaled.

It hurts. You want to scream. It hurts.

But you don’t—because you do not want to appear weak to your brother.

You promised mother and father that you will not cry when faced with problems—he mustn’t see, Kazuha mustn’t see. But at this moment, you just want to break apart. Disbelief is kicking in, you can’t believe this is happening.

When—where did everything go wrong?

“Besides, I’m not of use to you anymore. As if I’ll last the journey to Liyue-“

“Don’t say that!”

You blink owlishly, gasping out in pain when his hand presses against your wound, futilely attempting to hold back the bleeding.

“K-Kazuha?”

Your own hand shakily plants itself atop his own, helping him press—as if his hand isn’t heavy enough to stop the flow—it down. It will hurt, but you can’t say for sure. You’ve already grown numb and your head is swimming.

Still, you focus on him.

Still, you help him apply pressure even if you know—even if he knows—that it’s too late.

“Don’t say that. You’ve..” his voice cracks, “You’ve done so much, [Name], you-“

You took over the clan household when our parents died. You struggled to make ends meet for both of us. And yet.. all I do.. all I do is… !

Kazuha angrily bites on his lip, his hold on his composure beginning to slip as his mind throws in a reel of olden days.

“I’m leaving, [Name]. Please don’t wait up, I may take longer.”

“I’m grateful, but I don’t need that anymore.”

“Stop that, already.”

He dips his head with a muffled cry. All I do is wander and desire for a future where I can roam freely. I haven’t even thought of you..!

“You’ve grown, Kazuha,” he snaps back into this harsh reality when he feels the hand atop his disappear, presently moving to brush his messy locks.

He doesn’t know why all of a sudden his sight is becoming misty, but perhaps—perhaps it is because he remembers when his sister used to brush his hair the same way with a loving smile.

It is the same touch he flees from nowadays.

The same touch now—the same loving smile.

“As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right—you’ve grown so much.. and I’m still clinging onto the past.”

So lively, so beautiful and yet—

“You’re strong now..”

Yet it’s dying.

He presses harder on his sibling’s wound, almost sadistically—as if he’s hoping that it’ll ignite a painful reaction. “[Name], please, let me-“

Because if it hurt—then it means she’s still okay. She’s still responding.

“So capable.. so independent, you are.”

So why—? He almost chokes out a sob. Why are you not reacting to it!?

“Mother and father would be so proud of you. I am sorry if I was lacking in any way.”

“Please, [Name], you can’t do this.” He trembles, the composure he created so, so close to breaking as he gives up on endeavors that are pointless, to begin with. Instead, he tilts his head up, wishing to curse the heavens above.

For everything.

“I’m happy to be your sister, and.. I’m proud of you… Kazu..”

“Wait-“ he stumbles over his words, catching the falling hand of his sibling and registering how deathly pale she has gotten in a matter of seconds. “Wait, please—I-“

As much as he wants to voice out he’s sorry. For many things; for turning his back on her, for being distant when all they have is each other, he’s unable to find his voice when he sees the tears dripping out of his sister’s [c] eyes.

His strong older sister—weeping. It’s the first time he has seen her cry.

Her smile trembles—

“I love you. My nice.. little.. brother.”

—And her [c]s are then hidden forever.

The way she endearingly called him in her dying breath has him freezing, his heart pausing as if he had died along with her. But then the spark of pain welcomes him back to reality—to life.

And then he is leaning over her.

“[Name]..” breathless whispers escalate into panicked murmurs. “[Name]?”

His heart is pounding in his chest as he tries to shake her awake, like when he’d do when he’s eight and awake from an awful dream.

“Nee-san.. can I sleep by your side tonight?”

And although her [c] eyes are tired, she will still smile. “Okay.”

And she’d keep watch over him the whole night.

He’s reminded of it when he hopelessly shakes her awake, to no obvious avail. But he keeps grasping her arms, anyway, like he used to many years ago.

But things are different now.

“[Name]—[N-Name]!?”

He said it himself—he’s no longer a child.

“Please, don’t leave me- I- you’re all I have left!” The ronin’s composure finally breaks loose and his tears begin landing like a profuse waterfall. His uncontained sobs remain unheard.

This time, there is no one to wake him up from his nightmares.

“No—no, no- no, please..!” Kazuha weeps as he holds his sister’s cold hand, shakily pressing it to his forehead, imitating the sweet action she has always given him. A hand on his head, on his shoulder—or on his cheek if he’s tearful. “You can’t!”

She’ll tell him not to be sad because it’ll make her sad, too.

And he’ll hurriedly wipe his tears because ‘no! big sister mustn’t feel sad because of me!’.

Then [Name] will muster a smile as bright as the sun and hold his face in her warm hands, and press a kiss on his forehead. He’ll get red and thrash around, whining, ‘onee-san!’. And about how embarrassing it is so she mustn’t do it anymore.

Now, he is holding her hand in his own, trying to remember the same warmth it emitted just a day ago. Just a few hours ago. How long has it been?

And when he doesn’t feel the warmth—when he doesn’t remember the warmth, when all he feels is the cold and the obvious lack of love, Kazuha breaks apart.

His heart squeezes and his tears spill more, his lips parting to release the honorific he has dropped a long, long time ago. “Nee-san!”

“You don’t call me ‘nee-san’ nowadays,”

“Onee-san!”

“My, you’ve grown so much, Kazu!”

“Onee-san!”

I’m calling you. He cries, like a picture of misery. So why aren’t you waking up? Sister! He cries, like a heartbroken child.

The winds around him pick up, warning him of incoming men sent to apprehend and penalize him the same way they did to his sibling. It’s suffocating—maddening, even, and he wants to tear them all down himself.

But [Name] wouldn’t like that.

So, with a muted cry and bolster of willpower, he tears himself from the body of his kin, trembling.

He can hear the thundering steps of the samurai as he hurries to untangle the same black and red scarf [Name] has once attempted to give him. The same fabric he has rejected.

“I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry.” he hugs her with all his might, with his soul, and with his heart before he’s back up on his feet and running. I love you, too, nee-san.

“Get him!” someone roars from behind.

And although he wishes to turn and slice them away, he couldn’t—because he’d be seeing the fallen figure of the same person he had neglected to cherish. So, instead, he nestles the scarf around his neck whilst clutching onto the Vision of his friend.

Down the path, he runs.

Years ago, he will be accompanied by the people he loves, chasing a faraway future.

Now he is running on the same path alone, running after a dream that can now be turned into reality.

Far from Inazuma.

Far from home.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

a/n: did it hurt-

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　Return to the Scrying Glass　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

≿————-　taglist　————-≾

@lehra @melkxsh

Hi can we please have fluff w Aventurine where reader and him reunite after 2. 1 and just fucking elope start a new life etc? Please I need it.

God yes. This is what we all need after 2.1. I'm aware he is in a coma-like state technically now but for the sake of fluff and this headcanon he is awake from that coma and is now reuniting with you. CW: Spoilers for 2.1 and Aventurines actual name, starts angsty but then turns fluffy, Gn reader, pre established relationship hurt/comfort

I am still accepting requests (especially for aven) btw so if you wanna see something send it in!

Back in your arms

You had lost track of how long it was since Aventurine left for his mission in Penacony. Has it been 2 months? No, probably more. It had been months since you last had been able to make contact with him. Your messages no longer went through, unable to be sent.

Looking at your textlog and scrolling up, you came across the last message he had sent you. It had come in while you were asleep, and it simply read “I love you”.

Waking up to that message would have been a sweet message for most people, but for you it had made you immensely worried.

 Aventurine was never someone who professed his love openly, so such messages were quite rare. Receiving such a message, especially unprompted, made you send him a barricade of texts, none of which went through and even now months later none were able to be sent.

If you were honest you were starting to lose hope of ever seeing him again, who knows what happened in Penacony after all? He could be…dead for all you knew, you had no way to verify whether that was true or not after all. 

You tried continuing your life on as you would normally, what else could you do? It was hard though, everyday you missed him more and more. Sometimes you imagined his face in a crowd somewhere but whenever you would take a closer look he would vanish.

Sighing you closed your phone and looked around your apartment, it felt so liveless ever since Aventurine was gone. Tears were falling down your eyes as you wondered how much longer you had to live with the uncertainty of where he was and if he was even alive.

Exhaustion was taking over as you began falling asleep. A common occurrence nowadays, since at night you were restless, unable to fall asleep as you worried. Just as you were beginning to fully doze off, you heard the door to your apartment open, immediately waking up.

No one but you and Aventurine had the key, and with him being absent panic coursed through you thinking someone was breaking and entering. You grabbed the nearest heavy thing to defend yourself with.

“For fucks sake…” You muttered as you made your way to where the noises were coming from. Cursing every entity out there for piling even more shit onto you as if your significant other being possibly dead wasn’t enough.

Readying your weapon (probably a heavy book) you stepped foot into the room where the noise was coming from ready to attack and hit the intruder. But once you saw who it was that was in your appartment, you dropped your makeshift weapon, a sob escaping your mouth.

Before you stood Aventurine, alive and breathing. You rubbed your eyes, making sure that this wasn’t your mind playing a cruel trick on you again. Aventurine watched you with a smirk on his, albeit very exhausted looking, face and his eyes held a new found softness you had never seen before.

You fell into his arms immediately, holding him tightly against your body, feeling his warmth. Desperately you grabbed at his clothes as you held on to him, scared this was all just a dream and you would wake up all alone once again. Tears were falling from your eyes, unable to hold them back, the relief washing over you making you let out all of your emotions.

“Wow you missed me that much?” He asked, in his usual teasing tone. Though there was something in his voice that usually wasn’t there. Desperation and a bit of fear. Was he afraid you wouldn’t have missed him? Or was there a deeper reason for it?

Moving away from the hug you grabbed his face in your hands, the tears still falling from your eyes as you took a good look at him. His face had fallen in, and he seemed exhausted. But there was also something in his eyes, his beautiful eyes you were so sure you would never see again, that you couldn’t recognize, having never seen it on him before.

Before you spoke your first words to him, you pulled his face closer and gently kissed him. The feeling of his lips on yours felt like you were floating in heaven. They may have been more chapped than usual, but fuck was it nice to feel him again.  Breaking the kiss you finally were able to muster up your first words to him.

“Fuck…I was so worried about you…I…When my messages stopped being able to sent I was…so sure you…Please…never worry me like that again Aventurine…”

You leaned your forehead against his, your words jumbled together from the adrenaline coursing through you.

He took in a deep breath, and held it for a moment before letting it out. A gesture you saw in many people before they needed to say something important and heavy, but one you never saw in your lover.

“...Kakavasha…” His voice seemed unsure and meek as he spoke. 

You, of course, had no idea what he was saying, so you looked into his eyes confused.

“Wha-”

“Kakavasha…it is…my given name. The one my mother gave me” He inhaled deeply before he continued.

“It is a long story but the short version is…I am no longer affiliated with the IPC, they probably think I died or something. So I no longer go by Aventurine, and…with how close we are and how much you mean to me. I felt like it was appropriate for you to know my true name...”

His eyes refused to look at you, flickering about unsurely as he spoke. Though he tried to sound confident, his voice wavered, scared that you would not accept him for who he truly was and reject his true self.

You looked at him gently and with all the love you had for him, gently pulling him close again and kissing his nose.

“Well then…It is nice to meet you Kakavasha…” You smiled brightly at him, showing him you accepted him as he was.

He felt relief course through his body and could not help himself but pull you into a passionate kiss. He kissed you like you were the oxygen he needed to stay alive. As if he would die without you.

Breaking the kiss he whispered “Marry me.” It wasn’t a question but a request. One that you were too stunned to answer to, looking at him with wide eyes.

“I mean it. Let’s get married, run away from everything and start a new life just you and me.”

His eyes were pleading with you to agree. He knew that he wanted to start over, but he knew he needed you with him.

“...yes!!” You once again fell into his arms and kissed him. The two of you holding each other so closely it was as if you were one.

Kakavasha knew that he would need to tell you everything that happened in Penacony at one point, even the part where he tried to end his life. But he knew that if he explained everything to you, you would still stay by his side and be with him. 

You were his family after all.