mia-rules-me

Latest Posts by mia-rules-me

Happiness is not for me. I don't think I will ever deserve it, to be honest. I just wish for one day. I need a break. Just one day. Please

I want my life back

I've been fighting for so long but I am tired I dont know how much longer I can do this for.

repeat after me: trauma does not make people good or kind. trauma makes people scared and angry and sick and wounded.

I cant believe I used to be 130 wishing to be 115.... now I'm 155 BEGGING to be 130 again

well explain me then, if starving is bad for me why it feels like i became a god

if im not 20lbs down by christmas

i will simply pass away

Ok, I don't hate EDtok, but i hate their perception of purging???

Like I'm not cute when I'm done vomiting my brains out, thanks, im crying and heaving over the toilet, wiping splatter off my everything, shaky hands and dribbling spit

Shits nasty, not a cute aesthetic lil "put my hair up and pat my lips with a tissue"

It’s all I see all around me

i made this for me but heres some tips i came up with and have accumulated through out the day. i will be following this for the next few months

I’m trying so fucking hard and no one sees that. I’m trying so fucking hard to stay alive but my breathing is getting shallow and my heart is beating slower and if I don’t wake up tomorrow just fucking forget about me.

I’m trying so fucking hard and no one sees that. I’m trying so fucking hard to stay alive but my breathing is getting shallow and my heart is beating slower and if I don’t wake up tomorrow just fucking forget about me.

I swear I’m not a person anymore. I don’t laugh, I don’t feel joy or satisfaction or anything even remotely positive. I find sadness in literally everything. It’s like my brain isn’t capable of processing the good stuff anymore. I feel pain. I am pain. There’s nothing else. I don’t even have a personality anymore. All I am is pain.

I am not capable of healing. Every single thing that has hurt me and caused me pain or broken me in some profound way has distorted into this wound that bleeds at the slightest touch

I can feel everyone getting sick of me, and to be honest I don’t blame them, I’m pretty sick of myself at this point.

i am tired. i am exhausted. from my head to my soul to my bones i am so fucking tired.

i dont want to live another year.

Dear Body:

- I am so Sorry

“Trust me when I tell you: The most beautiful eyes have cried the most. The happiest smile was sad all along. & the coldest person felt the most.”

— The Poetic Boy

Just because I smile for you doesn't mean that I wasn't thinking about cutting my wrists open at the same time.

I wish I knew what happiness felt like

Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

"I just want to be okay for a day. I want to wake up and be happy to be alive. I want to enjoy the company of people around me. I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. I want to breathe the air freely and enjoy life."

— things people with mental illnesses wish they could do

I want hollow cheeks and sunken eyes. collarbones that stand out. arms that look like they would snap if I picked up something too heavy with hands that look skeletal. thighs that don't touch and calves that don't jiggle. I want my hips to be sharp and my pants to barely cling on them. I want to be able to count all my ribs and my stomach to cave. my hands would shake , my body freezing , my vision spotty and head spinning when I get up. I wouldn't be scared to sit on someone's lap or be picked up. I want it so bad

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why." - Mark Twain

“She is written in a foreign tongue.”

- Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady

(via)

I wanna find someone who makes me feel like I'm listening to my favorite song when we're together. 🖤