At The End Of My Rope And It Keeps Getting Longer Like Some Sort Of Clown Handkerchief Bit?

They call me Bruce Wayne the way that I compulsively think about Clark Kent.

The caption omfg

“People think that Clark is Bruce's sugar baby” WRONG. People think that Clark is his personal assistant because Clark spends every minute of his existence next to Bruce in a clerk's suit. He never wears a badge for a newspaper representative because he has a personal pass to every building owned by WE. He constantly takes notes while Bruce whispers in his ear. He brings Bruce coffee at charity events because Bruce doesn't maintain any human-like sleep schedule. He spends most of his spare time in Bruce's office. Half of the staff knows him by name and discusses work gossip with him. When they go public, the board of directors asks Clark to sign papers confirming that Bruce didn't abuse his power to start dating him. Clark just laughs at them.

Ha ha been there Brucie

Dick: *showing off a cute childhood picture to the family* Oh this one is my favorite! Bruce looks so surprised here, haha! I busted into the bathroom and he almost screamed! It was so funny.

Damian: I can’t imagine Baba getting scared from something so… menial

Jason: Shit was a lot different back then kid. I once scared the old man when. I once scared him in the Batcave when he was examining a gun from a case. Weirdly enough he didn’t get mad at me. I’m pretty sure there’s a picture of that too, it’s in here somewhere. *starts flipping through a photo album*

Tim: *grabbing his own photo album* I noticed that! Sometimes Bruce gets pretty weird and startled easily. Still haven’t figured it out… I bet Steph also had a bunch of stories of the same thing

Bruce: *walk in to the living room* What are you all doing? Hopefully not causing any trouble.

Dick: *grinning widely and pulling Bruce to sit down near him* Nah, not this time. We’ve just been going through a lot of old pictures! See! *shows Bruce the picture*

Bruce: *squints at picture before frowning* Oh, I remember that. I was in the middle of a suicide attempt and you caught me

Dick: WHAT! *coughing and sputtering*

Bruce: Yes, see the knife by the bathtub? And the bottle of pills near the toilet? Dropped them when you busted in. I thought you knew?

Jason: *absolutely shocked* Pops… what the hell???

Bruce: *glances over at the picture Jason found* That one too. I was going to turn the gun on myself.

Jason: *looks down at picture in horror*

Bruce: *grabs the photo album from Tim’s hand and flips through it* About half of these are interrupted attempts lol. The other albums probably have more. *shrugs*

Damian: *teary eyed* Baba…

Bruce: *already moving Damian onto his lap and hugging him tightly* Oh no sweetie, it’s okay. I’m… I’m trying to get better. I’m sorry I really thought you all knew…

Tim: *hides his face in Bruce’s shoulder while hugging him* I should’ve noticed. I’m sorry…

Bruce: No Tim, this is never and will never be your fault. It’s not your job to take care of me, even if I did push it on you when we first met. None of you have done anything wrong.

Jason: *voice breaking* B-but…

Dick: W-we could’ve… *tearing up*

Bruce: Done absolutely nothing. I was in a dark place long before I met any of you, even being with Alfred didn’t help.

Dick: I still can’t believe I never noticed… w-what happened to you after I left? After Jason died?

Bruce: Let’s not talk about that, it’ll only make us all upset.

Jason: *flipping through photo album and scrutinizing every photo* Y-you look so gaunt in these… I’ve never noticed…

Bruce: *chuckles awkwardly and slowly pulls album out of Jason’s hands* Yeah, that’s what an eating disorder will do to you. And coke…*mutters*

Tim: Fuck…

Dick: What was that last part?

Bruce: Nothing, anyways… let’s stop talking about this, okay? I made brownies.

Damian: *still sniffling* Okay Baba… can we have ice cream too?

Bruce: *chuckles softly, smiling fondly at all his sons* Of course, cmon, before Alfred finds out.

And not a brain cell

the Literacy Duo, as i like to call them

They're called World's FINEST because look at them!

people who don't experience hyperfixation don't know what it feels like to hyperfixate so much on something that it becomes not only your subject of obsession but also your source of happiness and literally the main reason why you still keep going; literal source of strength and life.

shoutout to my favorite fictional characters, favorite people, favorite ships, favorite movies, favorite tv shows, fanfics and archive of our own

it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living