My

I want to find my comfort in you instead of building a place to call it a home only to see it collabs on the fragile ground which I misunderstood as stable because they told stories about love and its fiction   instead of the truth its pleasure on destruction

I am drowning in the ocean of time and space Lost myself in the gab of ending and beginning I will remain here sit and swallow my anxiety  shivering from the unpleasant unknown of what is coming next  I have to learn to swim

And you are still

the only person

who can keep me together

when I am about to fall apart.

Falling in love is its own kind of violence

I don’t want to be your    drunk text romance. I don’t want to hear your    confession of love at 1 a.m    when you are drunk   and lost in your feelings of    loneliness and desperation. I don’t want to be loved   the way you love me    whenever you feel like it. I don’t want to be loved because   you want to love someone    and I am the only one around. I want to be loved    because you love me   not because you think you do. 

I did not expect to find a heavy heart like mine in hollow hands like yours

I want to discover freedom rename the emptiness inside of my mind I start to understand that nobody ever said emptiness had to be filled to enjoy, to feel, to be it`s only an assumption a comforting picture the feeling of feeling fulfilled. we are used to fix and fill and fit get uncomfortable around unknown, around space because we desire comfort which isn’t freedom in the first place so at the end of the day how can we feel free when we try to fill ourselves only to avoid the void inside of us Isn't it the empty blue sky which let the sun enlight the day? Isn't it the open dark sky which let the moon guard the night? why don't we use the free space and instead of calling it emptiness let’s call it freedom instead of calling it loneliness let’s call it independence instead of searching let's call it finding

It is insane how intense I feel  your skin on mine even after you left I feel your hands which grab me tight and close  like it wasn't your phantom which drives his fingers over my body 

How all the water in the world isn’t enough to clean my skin from your touches which imprinted on my body and cover me with paintings I could never draw on my own

Believe that it's all possible All the dreams And all the wanting All the changes All the promises All the hopes Everything is possible It doesn't depend on the stars Or the lovely words out of someone mound. It depends on you And your actions Because it's your life and your life only

Loving you  is just another way of self-harm