Friendly Reminder To Check Your Child's Halloween Candy This Year, I Just Found An Endless Labyrinth

Turtwig is so based

perfect headline. no notes

happy Thursday the 20th

This is for all y’all who don’t understand how terrifying these suckers are. 

Having to clean the shower is so fucking annoying. It’s clean in there. That’s where I go to get clean. It’s clean dude trust me. Stop fucking growing bacteria and stuff man this is the clean locale. You’re embarrassing me in front of the sink

my brother is sitting in the chair in my room studying a practice test thing for his final test before he becomes a fully certified EMT tomorrow and he’s mumbling some of the questions out loud and he just went “a child has fallen from a monkey at school…” and he just got dead quiet and stared at the wall for like a solid minute with the most stricken look on his face before he whispered “there’s no protocol for monkeys”

bro

bro it means monkey bars 

Saturday? No, you misheard me.

Satoadday.

Gets a job as a therapist but as my patients tell me about their awful lives I just sit there going "oh mood" and "meeee"