me counting the calories after a binge:
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i reaally wanna vent. its my birthday today. i wear this beautiful dress and the first thing my dad does is say "this looks too tight" "lets return it if ur uncomfortable". i thought i looked pretty in it. i am on the verge of crying. i asked my mom and my sis if the dress looks tight and they gave me "the look". i am fucking done. like i am fucking relapsing. fuck food. fuck everything. i hate myself for letting me get this fat. i am a pile of disgusting fats. lets get skinny.
you know your fcked when "omg ur so skinni" "you look like ur dyeing" "you look sick" starts to sound like a compliment π
we π₯Ί don't π€© need π to π§ worry π 'cause π when π€ we π¬ fall π we ππΌββοΈ know π how π¨ to π€ land πΆ don't π» need π to π₯΄ talk π€ the π₯³ talk πjust π walk ππ» the π walk π€·πΌββοΈ tonight πΉ 'cause π we βοΈ don't βοΈ need π₯ permission π to π dance
STREAM PERMISSION TO DANCE π
why i want to be skinny? i want to feel pretty. i want to wake up and feel beautiful. i want to hug people and not worry about them touching my fat. i want to wear jeans and not worry about my huge thighs. i want to wear sleeveless shirts and not having to worry abt my jiggly arms. i want comments like "your so skinny omg" "wht is your diet like?" "can u give me some tips?" i want to feel superior. i just.... want to be beautiful β‘ and i know i will achieve all my goals. i want skinny, and i will get my skinny.
i am permanently s*spend*d on twt for breathing... uhm π₯Έββso now i can't get back on there... fck ππ
i am unhappy because i binge and i binge because i am unhappy....
for me its, do i wanna recover or just binge in the label of "recovery" :/
Do I want to recover or do I just wanna give myself a excuse to eat?
SAM- OMFG πβ