Tatemcallisterr-blog

theprodigalsoldier:

jaxon fully expected that reaction. even their issues in the past couldn’t erase the countless nights they spent on patrol together, and jaxon knew tate. then and now. they’d both changed in ways they hated to think about. he sighed to himself, and sat up a little straighter, leaning his elbows on the table and closer in.  “ look, man. i get it, okay? i don’t talk to them about my shit either. ‘cause i really don’t fuckin’ wanna drag all that shit up. but… they got counselors, who just give you suggestions, ya know? like they recommended me to a training program for my dogs, so they can help when i get overwhelmed. and they gave me a list of things to try when i’m in a bad place. jus’— somethin’ to think about, ” he shrugged, trailing off as he leaned back and sipped at his iced tea. it wasn’t something he wanted to pressure tate into. but he also didn’t want tate to blindly block out everything that had a possibility of helping. “ well i hope yer liver relaxes, ” jax replied, just barely smiling, hoping to get tate to relax some too.  “ yeah… we were best friends all through high school. remember i told you, how he went away to art school, got involved in sketchy shit, and we had a falling out. that’s jonny. same jonny you know, apparently. but smoking does help with the sleep thing. while your liver is healing, ya know? plus, i’d pay good money t’ see you stoned out of yer mind. ”

“I don’t need suggestions, alright? Especially not from people who don’t know shit about what I’ve been through.” Tate snapped, his tone coming off a little more harsh and a little more loud than he had originally planned. Of course getting all worked up so quickly about the mere suggestion of a little bit of help didn’t exactly make it seem like he didn’t need the help. But nonetheless, it was true. How could anyone who had no idea what it was like to go through the things he did make any kind of suggestion on what to do to help? Tate closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and leaning back in his seat. “I’m fine.” He said, this time a bit more calm. “I haven’t been back that long. I’m still adjusting.” That’s what he kept telling himself anyways. Every night that he was jolted awake by a nightmare or every time something brought on a flashback, he convinced himself it was just because he hadn’t been back from the hospital but a few months. It was easier than admitting he might really need the help and suggestions everyone kept offering. “Yeah, me too.” Tate replied softly. As Jaxon went on he started to remember the stories the older male had told him about Jonny. Although he never assumed it was the same Jonny he knew, it did make sense now that he was thinking about it. “Right right, I remember. You been hanging out again then? I mean, now that he’s back?” Tate wondered, rolling his eyes slightly. “I feel like it wouldn’t be as entertaining as you think. I mean, you’ve seen me eat and sleep and that’s probably all I would do high.”

beautifulburnout:

In a lot of ways Tate was like the second younger brother Jonny never had. He was the polar opposite of Henry, of course, but it didn’t mean that Jonny cared for him any less. It was hard for him to see Tate like this. He was clearly suffering and Jonny knew that the stubborn ass wouldn’t be taking any advice any time soon. But that didn’t dissuade him from trying to look after the younger man either. After mixing the sugar into his coffee he sipped on it but he was glad he piqued Tate’s curiosity. “It’ll actually help you sleep and make you wanna eat.” He knew that Tate wasn’t open to a lot of suggestions right now, he was pretty resistant to most things lately, including taking care of himself, so Jonny wasn’t sure how he’d take the suggestion. “Weed,” he replied matter of fact as he took another drink. The artist sighed when he heard about Tate being unable to sleep, but he wasn’t surprised. He couldn’t imagine what he was going through right now but he could at least try to help. “I know it sounds like hippy bullshit, but it’ll make you feel better. Relax you at least.” Jonny paused as if he was considering something. Yeah, it was early as fuck but it wasn’t like either of them were going to sleep any time soon. “If you want you can come over. Have a joint, play with my puppy and chill by the koi pond. I know you haven’t felt up to much lately but it’ll just be you and me. No pressure.”

Tate should have been grateful that he had people like Jonny and Jaxon to try and look out for him. But every time either one of them tried to cheer him up or give him a suggestion he just sort of shut down. Taking suggestions meant that he had a real problem. And god damn, he did not want to think about having a real problem. Honestly, since Jaxon had suggested smoking days earlier the more he had thought about it, the more he thought maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. After all, he wasn’t enlisted anymore. No more drug tests, no more having to worry about what could go wrong if he did do it. While Tate seriously weighed the pros and cons of Jonny’s offer he continued sipping on his coffee. Honestly, what the hell else did he have to do today? And what if it did end up helping him? His doctor kept telling him to get out of the house more and do whatever he thought would help. Maybe this wasn’t exactly what the doctor had in mind, but who cares? “Yeah, I haven’t felt up to much lately.” He replied before setting down his now half empty coffee cup and letting out a quiet sigh. “What the hell -- why not? It’s not like I have anything to lose, right?” He shrugged.

https://youtu.be/uY6dWKpq1Sw

✉️ | DANNIE & TATE

dannie: i figured if i actually gave you something cute that you would be in utter shock it was me. so deal with what i gave you.

dannie: do you wanna talk about it? i'm all ears.

dannie: or eyes. whatever the fuck.

tate: you're right, i definitely would have questioned your identity.

tate: really i'm just fucking depressed, there's not much else to say. my life sucks right now.

tate: what's new with you?