Tatemcallisterr-blog

theprodigalsoldier:

god, he was tired. after a long overnight shift, his whole body ached with weariness. it wasn’t anything like the long overnighters in the military. but it didn’t mean it was particularly fun or easy. especially tonight. with a rough domestic violence call, with kids involved. he was ready to go home. but he was starving. and eating at home meant cooking, and he definitely didn’t have the energy for that.  “ hey, daisy, ” jax smiled warmly at the waitress behind the counter he knew too well after so many early mornings. “ steak and eggs? with sweet potato fries. to-go, please. and a black tea. thanks, darlin’. ”  he was about to sit down, waste time on his phone, when he saw tate. looking just as exhausted as he felt.  “ i can grab you one if ya really want. but you look like you need a nap more than caffeine, ” he pointed out, gentle and understanding as he sat across from his old friend.  “ hey, man. rough night? ” 

At the sound of a familiar voice in response to his request Tate looked up to meet Jaxon’s gaze. He was right, but there was no way he was going to get any sleep more at this point in the day. It might as well be noon Tate-time. Jaxon had always been able to read him. Although it wasn’t that hard right now to tell that Tate was exhausted. Between the bags under his eyes and the mess of hair he hadn’t bothered to comb through before he left the house, it was clear he had just rolled out of bed and come to the diner. Tate shook his head slowly letting out a sigh. “Thought you were the waitress.” He replied, setting his fork down as Jaxon took a seat across from him. His gaze moved to his plate at Jaxon’s question, staring at the barely eaten contents momentarily before he answered. “Just couldn’t sleep is all.” He shrugged, looking back up at his friend.

I punched a wall. And then I punched it a few more times. It was the first time I felt anything all day.

(via 50shades-of-you-and-i)

supernaturaldaily:

#sasstiel

@theprodigalsoldier​

✉️ | DANNIE & TATE

dannie: that is typically what people get shot with.

dannie: yup, right in the hip. then i got picked up by police and was held in a fucking psych ward for three days.

tate: fuck off, i thought maybe you made a typo or some shit.

tate: jesus fuck, dan. are you okay now? that's insane.

beautifulburnout:

Jonny hands tucked into his pockets and he hummed in thought. He could see the tiredness in Tate’s eyes and when it came to munchies Jonny wasn’t choosy away. He just gave a grin and shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah man, I’m good with pizza. And if that’s not enough I’m sure I have enough junk in the house to get us by.” He took a couple steps and paused. “Don’t worry it’s a short walk.” After a couple short blocks they arrived at Jonny’s (and Pono’s) place and he pushed in through the gate rather than using the front door. The backyard was huge. The soft bubbling of the pond seemed to erase all outside sound. It was surrounded in plants, there was a turtle enjoying a leafy veggie and a dog sunning himself on the deck. He hopped up and ran towards them on three legs and came to sniff at Tate’s feet. “We can chill on the deck. What do you like on your pizza by the way?”

Tate nodded in response to Jonny, staying silent the rest of the way to his place. He was tired and he really wanted to sleep, but he knew that even if he tried a nap wouldn’t last long. He had given up on naps a while ago. When they arrived and went into the backyard, Tate could already feel himself relax a bit due to the surroundings. He had only been in the backyard a handful of times, but it only took one time to understand why Jonny and Pono liked it there so much. It was tranquil and quiet compared to the rest of Vegas. In fact, it felt like he had left Vegas and gone to a peaceful island somewhere. When he was greeted by Jonny’s tripod dog, a small smile formed on his face and he reached down to let him sniff his hand before scratching the top of his head. Tate nodded when Jonny spoke up again and started towards the deck, thinking for a moment before he responded. “Honestly, I’ll eat anything. But it’s the best when there’s a lot of cheese. So a lot of cheese and whatever you want, man. I’m not picky when it comes to pizza.” He replied with a shrug before taking a seat on one of the chairs on the deck, letting out a soft sigh.

theprodigalsoldier:

yeah, he knew that feeling well. too well. it made his chest ache for his friend. and it made him angry that he didn’t know how to help tate. especially when tate was so adverse to help.  “ they say therapy is supposed to… i dunno. do somethin’, ya know? ” the suggestion was tentative and gentle, like he knew tate wouldn’t respond well to it. but he had to try. there had to be something. even if talking didn’t help the famously tight-lipped man, maybe there was something else they could recommend. at least, that’s what jaxon hoped.  “ yer liver being fucked up doesn’t sound like ‘not a big deal’. and that fuckin’ sucks. who else is gonna appreciate shitty whiskey with me? ” he teased gently, a small smirk flickering at the corner of his lips. “ oh, we got a friend in common. jonny. maybe in place of drinkin’, get stoned with him. ” the suggestion was only half serious, and the light in jaxon’s eyes said as much. he was trying to be helpful. trying to make tate feel like there was a little hope. despite how fucking tired he felt. 

Tate saw it coming, Jaxon’s careful first suggestion. It was the most logical thing to tell someone in his current state, and it certainly wasn’t the first time anyone had mentioned the idea to him. However, the way Jaxon proposed the idea was exactly why Tate wouldn’t do it. They both knew Tate wasn’t one to open up easily, or at all really. He used to be different. Talking about how he was feeling used to just come naturally to him. But a lot of things that used to come naturally were just not as easy anymore. “I’m not going to therapy.” Was all Tate said in response, completely shut down to even thinking about the suggestion seriously. He didn’t want to relive those days in his dreams and he sure as hell didn’t want to have to talk about them either. “It’s not fucked up, it’s just...stressed.” Tate decided before quirking a brow as Jaxon went on. “Oh yeah? You know Jonny, huh? Small world.” He shook his head. “I don’t know if anything would take the place of drinking. Although it might help me sleep for more than five hours.” It might also help him eat a decent meal once in a while, but he left that part out. Jaxon had enough worry in his eyes looking at him, Tate didn’t want to give him anything else. 

theprodigalsoldier:

jaxon fully expected that reaction. even their issues in the past couldn’t erase the countless nights they spent on patrol together, and jaxon knew tate. then and now. they’d both changed in ways they hated to think about. he sighed to himself, and sat up a little straighter, leaning his elbows on the table and closer in.  “ look, man. i get it, okay? i don’t talk to them about my shit either. ‘cause i really don’t fuckin’ wanna drag all that shit up. but… they got counselors, who just give you suggestions, ya know? like they recommended me to a training program for my dogs, so they can help when i get overwhelmed. and they gave me a list of things to try when i’m in a bad place. jus’— somethin’ to think about, ” he shrugged, trailing off as he leaned back and sipped at his iced tea. it wasn’t something he wanted to pressure tate into. but he also didn’t want tate to blindly block out everything that had a possibility of helping. “ well i hope yer liver relaxes, ” jax replied, just barely smiling, hoping to get tate to relax some too.  “ yeah… we were best friends all through high school. remember i told you, how he went away to art school, got involved in sketchy shit, and we had a falling out. that’s jonny. same jonny you know, apparently. but smoking does help with the sleep thing. while your liver is healing, ya know? plus, i’d pay good money t’ see you stoned out of yer mind. ”

“I don’t need suggestions, alright? Especially not from people who don’t know shit about what I’ve been through.” Tate snapped, his tone coming off a little more harsh and a little more loud than he had originally planned. Of course getting all worked up so quickly about the mere suggestion of a little bit of help didn’t exactly make it seem like he didn’t need the help. But nonetheless, it was true. How could anyone who had no idea what it was like to go through the things he did make any kind of suggestion on what to do to help? Tate closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and leaning back in his seat. “I’m fine.” He said, this time a bit more calm. “I haven’t been back that long. I’m still adjusting.” That’s what he kept telling himself anyways. Every night that he was jolted awake by a nightmare or every time something brought on a flashback, he convinced himself it was just because he hadn’t been back from the hospital but a few months. It was easier than admitting he might really need the help and suggestions everyone kept offering. “Yeah, me too.” Tate replied softly. As Jaxon went on he started to remember the stories the older male had told him about Jonny. Although he never assumed it was the same Jonny he knew, it did make sense now that he was thinking about it. “Right right, I remember. You been hanging out again then? I mean, now that he’s back?” Tate wondered, rolling his eyes slightly. “I feel like it wouldn’t be as entertaining as you think. I mean, you’ve seen me eat and sleep and that’s probably all I would do high.”

knoxaf:

Watching the shoes fly across the cell only made the rookie cop snicker in reply. He could understand the aggravation to being sent to the drunk tank to sleep everything off. Knox even has an idea of how bad the hangover was going to be when it’s over. 

“Right,” he replies with a polite tone. “I’ll be here– just be here. Let me know if there’s anything you need, alright?” After he gave the other a type of run down, be then started back to the desk not far. Returning to the game of Panda Pop. Yet, when it got too quiet, Knox glances from his phone. “The offer still stands if you wanna clean up!”

It was obvious that this guy was pretty new to station. Mostly because Tate was just there not too long ago and he didn’t recognize the male. He wondered if they always stuck the new guys with drunk watch. What a way to start your exciting career as a police officer. “Yeah, I’ll be sure to do that.” He mumbled, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. When he spoke up again after a few minutes Tate shook his head. “Again, I’ll pass on the wet wipe.” He paused. “It is hot as hell in here though. You wanna turn on a fan or something?”

I look young But inside I am old And filled with the deaths Of other people.

(via hailthequeens)