Latest Posts by theprodigalsoldier-blog - Page 4

i have terrible luck with technology. and my modem crapped out on me tonight. so replies will have to wait another day. sigh. im sorry to everyone D: 

also i need to plot all the things with all the people. so hit me up xox

the day got away from me and i meant to get all my replies done D: 

but i work tomorrow morning, and im v tired. 

so becca’s reply on jax, and then all of kapono’s replies will come tomorrow. as well as replies to starters c: 

i’ll also post the new bios on the main! 

love y’all <3 <3 <3

beautifulburnout:

Tonight wasn’t Jonny’s night. His bare toes flexed against the pavement and the artist let out a soft and frustrated sigh. His eyes were puffy from crying, his hair a mess and his jacket ripped. He sniffed and his hands rubbed across his face as headlights illuminated him. He looked like a wreck and felt like one. It was hard to deal with the fact that you got mugged, clear down to designer shoes. It wasn’t like he could call for help either. Not with this phone stolen He had no way of getting a cab because the mugger had taken his wallet as well. And it wasn’t like he’d be walking far with tender bare feet. Instead he sat on the curb feeling both useless and more than a little dejected. He felt foolish. Jonny grew up in New York, he lived in Portland. It wasn’t like he was new to avoiding that sort of trouble and yet here he sat. A victim to some guy who no doubt preyed on tourists. Yeah, fuck this night and fuck this city. He just wanted to go home.

his shift had ran a little long. well, in truth, he’d made it run a little long. their job was technically done, and his partner had caught a ride home. but after responding to a call about a teenage tent city, jaxon hung back, to get the small group of teenagers some food, and sit and chat with them. they were good kids, just in bad situations, most of them emancipated or 18. it broke jax’s heart to see them out like this. he’d given them his card, and told them to call if anyone gave them any trouble. now he was driving back to the station, tired, and weary, and taking his time. the man slumped on the curb caught his eye. the jacket didn’t say homeless, but barefeet and body language spelled trouble. 

jaxon pulled over a little up the curb, climbing out with flashlight in hand. “ sir? are you okay? ” he called out, shining the flashlight just close enough to get a look at his face. “ jonny? ” he was incredulous and frankly, fucking shocked. “ jonny, what the hell? ” he said, squatting down in front of him to get a better look. “ what happened? are you okay? what’s goin’ on? ” despite all of his complicated feelings about them and him, jaxon’s protective instinct flooded his chest and drowned anything else out.  

#NYFWM Ambassador Kellan is smart  Photo by ckscreativemanagement

marclarkin:

“Damn, I ain’t had a good sleep like that since that bitch took my house,” Marc remarked as he came out of an extra room in Jax’s place. He’d been chasing a new bounty and had been in the neighborhood when the two of them had tried to out beat each other up. In the end, Marc had left him handcuffed to an iron fence outside and went into his cousin’s place to get cleaned up. Too tired to go home, he’d knocked out in his cousin’s place. Marc combed his hand through his hair and walked to the kitchen, opening the milk and taking a large chug from it.

@theprodigalsoldier​

marc showing up at all hours of the night, in various states of injury, duress, and pulverization, had stopped being surprising long ago. after all, jaxon did the same, after bar fights that got out of hand. marc had a little more of an excuse for his injuries, with the whole “doing good” and getting paid thing. jaxon didn’t complain (much). he’d rather marc come here, somewhere safe, then another place, where sharks could smell blood in the water. (not that jax worried about marc taking care of himself. it was more that general, perpetual state of worry that seemed the norm for the marine vet.)  sat at the kitchen table, jaxon leaned back and sipped at his coffee as marc emerged from the guest bedroom. “ yer lucky i’m not my mama. usin’ profanity and drinkin’ out of the carton. that’d get you slapped at the very least. if not fuckin’ kicked out, ” he chuckled, flicking a piece of toast crust at marc’s back. “ there’s coffee. though i really ought’a check you for a concussion first. ”

beautifulburnout:

Jonny wondered if it was still on Jaxon’s mind. It was hard not to think about how things between them had ended. There had been more than one time Jonny thought about Jaxon. Hell, he even tried to reach out to him once. But Jaxon didn’t really seem like the social media type. He never got the chance. And now that he was face to face with him he couldn’t find the words. Ten years was a long time and a simple ‘i’m sorry’ didn’t seem like it would ever be enough. “They seem really sweet,” he agreed fondly while looking at the pits. He was glad that Jax had them. He could see how protective Ginger was and it honestly warmed his heart, even if she didn’t seem overly fond of him right now. He chuckled at their names and was unable to resist rubbing behind Jamie’s ears. “Ya would name your dogs after a whiskey drink. Weirdo,” he teased gently with a stupid, fond little smile.

The feeling of Jaxon’s arms around him, no matter how brief, felt warm and familiar. How many times had he run into those arms when things were hard? The hug was over too quickly and it left a twinge in his heart. He knew that no matter what had happened he’d still always care about Jaxon deeply, but he wasn’t sure if Jaxon felt the same. He wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, but Jonny wasn’t the same person who made that mistake all those years ago and maybe this was the universe’s way of telling him he could get a second chance with the man he once considered his best friend. “It’s good to see ya too, Jax,” he replied softly. While he didn’t want Jaxon to go he knew it would be selfish of him to keep him any longer. “I’m done but…yeah I should head home. But um…wait a sec.” Jonny quickly dug into his bag and dug out one of his sketch pads so he could scribble down his number. He signed it 'Jay’ , a little throwback to their high school days. “Here. If ya ever want to talk…I’d love to hear from ya.”

jaxon shrugged and smiled a little back. it was hard not to. talking about the dogs always made him happy and jonny... had always made him happy. the pang of ache at the memory made him retreat again, as if emotionally flinching away from past pain. this was all too fucking much, and jaxon couldn’t sort through any of it in his head. it was all one big tangled ball of nostalgia, old, unhealed heartbreak, and dormant emotions he’d refused to deal with for so long. jonny was dredging all that up again, with a little smile and a tease, and jaxon hated that he felt angry. what had happened to him? what went wrong that emotions made terrified?  “ i needed a good pair of names. all the other ones were dumb, ” he replied, trying to keep the reservation from showing through in his voice. anxiety scuttled beneath his skin, stoking his frustration and his desire to run. 

“ oh... ” he replied lamely. “ well.. maybe i’ll, uh... come see it when its dried. ” it was an attempt. an olive branch, maybe? a ‘i know i’m running away now but i don’t want to disappear again’. would jonny understand? he forced himself to focus on the moment, knowing he’d wallow in all of this later on. “ y-yeah... ” he said, clearing his throat and taking the piece of paper. jonny’s handwriting was still the same, and he couldn’t help but remember all the notes they passed back and forth to each other in class. jaxon felt so fucking hung up on their memories and... them. did jonny? or was all of that just old high school memories to him? his heart twinged with pain at the possibility. and he felt immediately stupid. it was stupid. to care so god damn much. 30 years old, so many fucking years later, and jaxon still wasn’t over high school. how fucking stupid. “ i’ll see you around, jonny d, ” he replied, smiling politely at him and tucking the paper into his pocket. “ c’mon, babies. let’s go home. ”

the lost boys // jaxathan

You had your maps drawn You had other plans To hang your hopes on Every road they let you down felt so wrong So you found another way

You've got a big heart The way you see the world It got you this far You might have some bruises And a few of scars But you know you're gonna be okay

And even though you're scared You're stronger than you know

If you're lost out where the lights are blinding Caught in all, the stars are hiding That's when something wild calls you home, home If you face the fear that keeps you frozen Chase the sky into the ocean That's when something wild calls you home, home

beautifulburnout:

The tension between them was all but palatable. It was no wonder Ginger was so agitated. Jonny kept his distance to keep her as comfortable as possible, and maybe to keep them both a little more comfortable. He watched the two of them and when Jaxon explained part of the reason she was untrusting it made a lot of sense. “Well they couldn’t have ended up with anyone better.” Jaxon loved dogs more than he loved most people. He believed it when he said it. Those dogs were probably better taken care of than some people’s kids. “They’re adorable. Ginger and…Jamie?” He chuffed out a soft and knowing laugh. It was cute and kind of unexpected. He would have thought Jaxon would have gone for more ‘traditional’ dog names but he liked it a lot.

“Thanks…it’ll look better once it dries. I guess some kids came by and were messing with it. That’s why I came out here. To touch it up…” He cleared his throat and realized he was rambling a bit but he smiled anyway. At least Jaxon actually looked at him. But when Ginger growled and Jax explained, Jonny was a little surprised that he mentioned a hug. He didn’t seem at all comfortable but he wasn’t running off either. Did he want this? To sort of reconnect after all of this time? He did come to look at his artwork after all. There was clearly part of Jaxon that still cared for him and Jonny would be lying if he said he felt any different. So the artist opened his arms, wiggling his fingers in a 'come on’ type motion. “Well then, c'mere. Don’t use your dog as an excuse, Jax,” he teased with a touch of a smirk on his face. “I know you just want a hug.”

he was already on edge enough, but ginger's demeanor was just making him more anxious. but Jamie was just as carefree as ever, panting and looking up at them and chewing on a leaf on the ground. jaxon smiled a little then, despite himself and despite the situation. "thanks... I try my best. they've had a hard life, but they're real sweet," he nodded. it was more than that, honestly. they were saving him as much as he saved them. but that was too heavy to get into. jonny didn't need to know that Jamie laid on jax's chest when he woke up from a nightmare, and ginger pushed against his side and whined until jaxon stroked her ears and spoke to her. "yeah... ginger ale and jameson, officially," he huffed, with a small, slightly bashful smile.

jaxon really did like the mural. it was impressive, and beautiful, and grand and detailed. it was jonny. and jaxon had always loved jonny's art. another one of those things that hadn't changed, even after ten years. "fuckin' kids," he teased a little, slightly relaxing despite himself. but then, of course, jonny had to call him out, and jaxon's brow furrowed as he tensed a little again. he hadn't expected that. although... it was jonny. of course he'd do that. Jaxon's heart thudded hard and suddenly against the inside of his sternum. "yeah whatever," he muttered with a shy smile. but he moved closer anyways, refusing to think too hard about anything. he hugged jonny, warm and tight. but quick. it was all he could manage. "it's, uh... it's good t' see you, jonny," he said, taking a step back, rubbing the back of his neck. "i should let you get back to work..."

the lost boys // jaxathan

beautifulburnout:

Any smile that had been on his face faded away instantly when Jaxon both said he shouldn’t be there and he should go. It was amazing how much that hurt because despite everything that had happened, he was glad to see Jaxon. Apparently that was only a one sided feeling, but Jonny supposed he should have seen that coming. He was glad for the distraction of Jamie trying to get closer and so Jonny took a small step forward and leaned down so the dog could get a sniff at his hand. He could tell he was just excited and curious, and Jonny hoped that it encouraged Jaxon to wait even for just a moment. “Finally got your dogs, huh?” He looked up with a hint of a fond smile on his lips before he moved to stand again. He couldn’t count how many times Jaxon talked about wanting dogs.  There was a lot he wanted to say but none of it sounded right. ‘I’m sorry, I should have called, you were right’, just to name a few. Maybe he should have let him go but after all this time Jonny still found himself drawn to Jaxon and he didn’t want to miss this chance he never through he’d get. “Marines and a cop. Yeah, I can see that. You were always good at looking after people.” ‘Including me.’  He shifted where he stood. Jonny was still unable to hold still even after all this time. “So, since you went out of your way to come see it…what do you think?” He nodded towards the mural, but really he was just beating around the bush. He never thought he’d get the chance to see Jaxon again and now he couldn’t let him just walk away.

he felt unsure and unsteady. ten years past, and neither of them had ever reached out. jaxon thought that would forever be a distant memory of ache and regret. but jonny wasn't a memory anymore. he was standing in front of jax, alive and emotive and still just as awful at hiding emotions from manifesting on his expression. jaxon didn't miss the shift, and he felt a sharp stab of guilt. Jamie wouldn't quit, and jax let out the leash a little. "uh, yeah... I did," he replied, looking down at them with the slightest twitch of a smile. as Jamie enjoyed licking at jonny's hand, ginger leaned heavier against jax and grumbled out a low growl, wary of the stranger and Jaxon's tension. "ginger, it's fine, baby. relax," he muttered. "they're rescues. dog fights," he said to jonny, still quiet and withdrawn and guarded. he was too raw to be anything else.

part of him just wanted to say fuck it to all the complicated feelings trapped in his chest, and just hug jonny, or kiss him, or say i'm sorry i was stupid please take me back . but it'd been 10 years. and it felt like so many lifetimes past. and fear iced through his veins, freezing him into a quiet distance. jax just nodded at jonny's response, but looked back at the mural. "it's beautiful. of course. you did it," he replied, glancing over at jonny for just a second. it was all that he could handle. his grip tightened on the leash, and ginger growled lowly again. "i'm sorry. she's really protective. she doesn't trust anyone until i make it clear that i do. it helps if i hug people. then she's friendly," he sighed, stroking her head. it did nothing to dissuade her half-raised hackles.

the lost boys // jaxathan

the duality of man. ( aka tag dump )

beautifulburnout:

After cleaning his paint brushes Jonny headed back outside to head home. He tucked his paint supplies into his messenger bag and started towards his truck. In all honesty, he hadn’t intended on being out here this late. He had only stopped by to do a touch up because his work had ended up smeared by curious hands. He was adjusting the strap to his bag when he rounded the corner and saw someone admiring his work. The artist smiled to himself and intended on passing by when something made him pause. He was about to mention that it would look better dry when Jaxon turned to face him. Those baby blues were a blast from the past and even if it had been ten years, he’d know Jaxon Sawyer from anywhere. He didn’t know what to do or say. Jonny rarely found himself speechless, but it figured that Jaxon could cause that. He could fuck him up with just a look. He didn’t expect this. Yes, he had ran into Mama Sawyer, but he didn’t think Jaxon would ever take interest in his life again. Not the way things ended between them. After a long moment he realized he was staring and so he cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “Hey…um. Wow. Look at you, all grown up, Jax.”

jonny wasn’t supposed to be here. fuck, jax shouldn’t even fucking be here. but it was late, and he couldn’t sleep, and ginger was restless when he was. without the alpha sleeping, no one seemed to sleep. mama had told him about this. about seeing jonny. about seeing his painting. if you ain’t gonna talk to the boy, at least go see his art. it’s somethin’. he’d brushed her off in the moment, all but shutting down when jonny’s name was brought up for the first time in so many years. but he walked, and ended up here. and now jonny was too. it was stupid to think jonny would grow out of his late night habits. jonny didn’t know that jaxon had grown into them. he knew there was so much they didn’t know about each other anymore. 

if he thought he couldn’t breathe before, he really fucking couldn’t now. not with jonny, all grown up and filled out and just as annoyingly boyish, smirking at him like he was just on the verge of teasing jax about his scowl again. god, he’d stared down the barrel of a semi-automatic weapon and didn’t give a shit. but now jonny was looking at him, and he wondered how it was possible to still being in one piece with so much tearing at the inside of his chest.  “ y-yeah. uh... marines. and police force, ” he offered lamely, unsure of what else to say. ginger bristled slightly and leaned heavier against him. jamie just tugged and tried to get closer to sniff jonny. “ jamie. quit it. — i’m sorry. i, uh... got curious. i shouldn’t be here. im sorry. i should go. ”

the lost boys // jaxathan

the lost boys // jaxathan

his heart thudded harshly against the inside of his ribs, banging out a beat that rang in his ears and drowned out the city noises behind him. ginger whined and leaned against his leg, concerned at his stillness. but jaxon was frozen, staring at the drying paint on the wall, at the brushstrokes made by hands that used to paint neosporin over his cuts, at the marks left behind by a man he didn’t know anymore. jaxon felt sick, and scared, and that teenage angry heartbreak all over again. he shouldn’t be here. it was too much. but he couldn’t move. he could barely breathe. jonny had done this. jonny... 

jamie yipped and tugged at his leash, breaking the daze jaxon’s emotions had kept him in. he looked down in confusion, following jamie’s gaze, right into jonny’s. 

[ right rib cage. ] 

[ right hip bone. ] 

[ left rib cage. w/ his own information. ]

                               𝕁  𝕒  𝕩  𝕠  𝕟 ’ 𝕤    𝕋  𝕒  𝕥  𝕥  𝕠  𝕠  𝕤

If you were to ask Jaxon why he had so many tattoos, he’d simply answer it with this: “For a long time, my body was scarred and marked without my permission. I’ve made peace with that. Tattoos are my way of taking back control of the stories my skin tells.” Well… that, and MMA fighting culture and USMC soldier culture are fairly encouraging of tattoos. 

Tattoos, locations, and reasoning are as follows.

Keep reading

𝕛𝕒𝕩𝕠𝕟 𝕤𝕒𝕨𝕪𝕖𝕣 𝕒𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕔

                    And I know, oh no,                       that I put up a front                       But maybe just this once,                       let me keep this one.

And it’s all alright. I guess it’s all alright. I got nothing left inside of my chest but it’s all alright. 

Jαхoɴ Sαwyer + [moodboard]

Jaxon Sawyer && Three (5) Fictional Characters

Dean Winchester ( Supernatural ) // “As long as I’m around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you.”

Nick Miller ( New Girl ) // “You love me too much! And you picked the wrong guy! And when are you gonna get that through giant head of yours? I’m just gonna let you down.”

Vic Carboneau ( Survival Code ) //  —"You wanna run your business in my bar, fine. I don’t complain.“  —"What are you talking about? All you do is complain!”  —"WHAT?! No, I don’t!“

Kristoff Bjorgman ( Frozen ) // “Of course I don’t want to help her anymore. In fact, this whole thing’s ruined me for helping anyone ever again……— Hold up! We’re coming.”

Jeff Winger ( Community ) // “I’m just a grown man who can’t even look his own friends in the eye for too long, because I’m afraid that they’ll see that I am broken.”

“ …. — if you wanna start a fight, ya better throw the first punch. 

                                                                                  — m a k e  i t  a  g o o d  o n e . ”

im dealing with my shit the way im dealing with it.  are my methods unhealthy? yes. are they effective? no. am i going to change what im doing? nope. 

“ okay is just a word I use so I won’t have to talk about what’s inside.  okay is a word that means I am going to keep my secrets. ” 

          — she told me i was fatalistic. i told her she was right. 

jaxon sawyer + the things inside his head // aesthetic