H - Blog Posts
Polaris has to respond now! It's not a terrible deal, since he and Mirach are already friends, but, is that what Polaris wants?
WOWIE ZOWIEEEE MY FLYING FUCKS HAVE RETURNED
Boo! It’s a mentally ill, 289year old, art major!
I post funny things and sometimes- once in a blue moon that falls on a Thursday the 20th in an odd number month where the weather is raining, do I write.
I like WHB, twisted wonderland, all for the game and that’s about it!
NEWLY FORM A WORMHOLE TO EACH SOUL OR SPIRIT ON YOUR LIFE SUPPORT NETWORK USING FRESHLY WRITTEN PROTOCOLS EVEN IF EXISTING PROTOCOLS SEEM SUFFICIENT. USING A NEW DEVICE OR ONE NOT TYPICALLY USED AND OR ATYPICAL MEMORY LOCATIONS FOR DATA IS A GOOD IDEA. UTILIZING ATYPICAL INSTANCES OF SUFFICIENT HARDWARE IS ALSO IDEAL. IN SITU ATTACKS.
The loss of one
Kaidan, the crimson red eyed man chopped the remaining wood. He felt the breeze of the cold crisp cold hitting his bare back and chest. He felt goosebumps on his skin, but he didn’t feel cold. It just felt like a pressure sensation. He felt the snow melt against his Carmel skin, water slowly trickling down to his brown pants that he decided to fit in. He was shocked to see them fit so nicely after all these years.
He tied a rope around the structure, and looked up to see the many crafted ornaments around the tree that’s he’s made over the past 15 years. He’s made sure that each one came from a different wood that he remembered her liking. The craftsmanship was in good shape, and was smooth. He threw the rope and the ornament tied together on the branch that he directed, he felt it dangle and move around a it and settled nicely. As if it was a perfect piece.
Kaidan brushed aside his hair, he felt it getting longer than usual and seeing the strands of grey as well. Than again he hasn’t cut it in the past decade, nd he didn’t want to. He remembered her saying he loved his long hair, and wished he would have it down all the time. He could still feel her thin and beautiful hands brush within hair, and massaging his scalp.
He suddenly heard a loud crunching from the snow beneath someone feet. He could also hear who it belonged to based off of their stride and how they held herself. “Good morning Alea,” he muttered, not turning towards her. Already grabbing another log to shop up, to prepare for another ornament.
“Good Morning, Kaidan.” She greeted back, looking up at his work again. She wore a simple greenish black cloak to warm herself from the cold. She had a handful of expressions when Alea glanced up at the work. Kaidan knew the majority of the feels she had, but some he couldn’t. Just like she didn’t know half of what he felt when he looked up at them when he admired them from afar. “Todays her Anniversary.” Alea announced bluntly, her voice echoing through the forest.
Kaidan chuckled horsley, still feeling the scab that was on an old wound being pushed. “Yes, it is.” He replied, cutting the wood. He kept his mind to how she taught him, how to carve woods without harming the wood itself. He teased relentlessly at the fact she cared about wood life despite it being already chopped and gone. She would always argue that it was what her mother taught her, and she loved the trees.
Alea furrowed her eyebrows at him as she saw him ignore her. She sighed, “you need to get back inside Kaidan.” She ordered, her voice stern but gentle. Knowing why he’s out here in the first place, why he’s always making ornaments around a tree.
“I’m fine Alea,go back inside with the boys. I just…” he stopped for a moment, feeling himself fletch around himself. His voice almost wavering, he swallowed thickly and took a deep breath in. He let it out smoothly, and looked back up at the ornaments seeing it all hit eachother in the wind. “I just need a moment, Alea, please..” Kaidan requested, looking over his shoulder with a pleading look in his eyes at Alea.
Alea looked at him for moment, opening her mouth for a moment. But, decided against it. She sighed, and nodded in understanding. “I’ll let Farkas and Vilkas know than.” She muttered, walking back to the wooden house. Stopping for a moment, to look back at the lonesome man. “Remember Kaidan, we’re always here for you. We, too, miss our little wolf, never forget that.” She demanded, walking back to the cabin. Kaidan flinched slightly as she shut the door abruptly.
Kaidan gripped his axe tightly, and threw it down to the ground in anger. He sighed deeply, trying to calm down the fire in his throat. He wasn’t getting better, and he thought he had been. He’s been trying for the sake of his friends, and very little family he has left. But he misses her.
The day he saw her in that bed, it was hard on him to even look at her without being reminded of everyone before her that left in a similar fashion. On a bed, look pale and nothing but skin and bones. But no less smiling, as if she didnt mind being taken away to a place when he couldn’t fellow. Not yet.
She would constantly tell him to be strong, that she would always be there. Even if she wasn’t going to be in the way he hoped. She’ll always watch over him, their children, their friends, everyone. She was a protector even in the after life. If anyone in Skyrim were going to come after them, they would deal with a legendary Dragonborn ghost they all joked.
But it still wasn’t enough for them to stop feeling the impending fact of her being gone. He remembered her asking so sweetly, to be buried under the Willow tree near their home. Kaidan didn’t care, she could bluntly tell him that she would want to bury on the other side of Tamerial and Kaidan would gladly do the trip. Alone if she wanted him to. Willow grabbed a hold of his face, and kissed him softly at that. Kaidan almost broke how light and little preside he felt.
Kaidan cried during her final moments, and so did their children dispite not knowing exactly what was going on. They all were around her, holding her close. Along with the pack as well, touching her legs, arms, hands as she passed. They all whimpered and cried as she was humming softly, having a small hand on Kai’s face as he basically wrapped around himself around her. While leaning her head on the kids, who were smiling at her. Saying that they couldn’t wait to see her again. Not fully grasping the meaning of it.
Yes she smiled so sweetly at all of the. She kissed Kai’s head softly again and on her kid’s. She felt a tear trickle, as the last note she sung. And felt her hand slowly slip away from Kaidan’s face, and her grip failing to keep its hold on Erik’s hand. Kaidan kissed her head softly, muttering “I will see you again my tre huger..” Lydia bit her lip tightly, fighting back any more tears on her face as she held up both of the kids who were about to crawl back to their father.
Lydia held the children’s hands toward their rooms, saying the adults would need to discuss some of things in private. Not wanting to interrupt anyone’s grieving, and saying at a later time they’ll discuss more of this.
Everyone went in their respective rooms, not wanting intrude on anyone’s moment. While Kaidan still stayed in the nursery’s room. Laying near to Willow’s Body, and slowly letting go of her. She felt so cold now, and he wished he could hold onto her just a little bit longer. And kissed her forehead wince again.
Kaidan felt himself be pulled back to the present. He heard the door slammed open again, and saw two of his children running fast at him. ”Papa!” Kaidan first instinct was to check if they were harmed or were going to be harmed, he instantly instantly picked up his axe, and checked for danger behind them. Instead, he saw was Alea, and the wolf twins grinning ear to ear.
He felt their weight ram into him, causing himself to be unbalanced and crash into the snow below him with a thump. “What?! What is it?” He asked the kids who had bright smiles, that Kaidan had to look away. “Are you in danger? Are we in danger? Is your uncles and aunts in danger?” He asked instantly, his mouth speaking before he could think.
“No! Papa, come on you promised us!” One of Teens exclaimed. “Please papa!” The other exclaimed excitedly, practically hopping.
“Huh? Promised you what?” Kaidan cocked an eyebrow, trying to decipher what they were all reminding him of something. He looked past at the two, and silently pleaded them for assistance or help. But all they gave was a wave, and shut the door behind them. With a undeniable smirk on all their faces. He grumbled, and looked at his kids for answers.
“You promised you would tell us about Mama.” They answered bluntly, Kaidan was taking a back from their honestly and stright forward approach. It made him almost proud of them. However, he felt his gut clenched at the idea of telling his kids about their mother.
“Kids, I know you all want to know her-“
“Please dad. You promised, you can’t keep her memory of her forever.” One of the grimaced,it felt like a gut punch towards his scab. “we want to know her, see her life through the memories of the man who loved her the most. A-and it’s-“ he cut himself off, trying to composed himself. The other finished for him. “Papa, what we’re trying to say is we want to hear of our mother. What she stood for.” She answered, getting up walking towards the Willow Tree in their yard. She looked in awe of the ornaments that hung around it, if anything ot made the tree looked more beautiful with around her.
“What she was for this family. And to you.” The son finished, standing by his sisters they all turned towards Kaidan, who looked at his children in shock. They waited for his response, what he would say, and what he would think.
He sighed, and looked at his children. “I’ve been selfish for 15 years, I think it’s time I tell you kids memories of her. She would probably kick me in my hind neck for doing it towards you.” He looked at the ornmaments for a moments in wonder, and looked intently for a moment. And chuckled softly, “no, she would definitely do so.” He chuckled, he walked towards them and learned against the willow, and patted the spots near him for them to sit. Which the kids did so.
“Where should I begin? Hm.. how about when I met her.”
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I’m starting to make a possible one shots of my oc and Kaidan. Cause I’ve already made one story. But oh, well!
An Afghan child carries a shovel on his shoulder as he walks in a poppy field in Zhari district of southern Kandahar province, Afghanistan. April 11th, 2016.
Allauddin Khan
overspher design 😁 i guess...
Btw, i don't except to include puncto, oversphere, and the others from that movie in my adaptation. I'm just bored 😋
Music Volume 8.1.12.1
a.k.a. The eight tracks of my life when it comes to you
(1) A recurring dream: you say to me, “It’s always been you. It’ll always be you.” Sometimes, with your mouth; soft bubbles came out of those lips, eyes shaking as if you were afraid that I won’t ever get to know; so I believed it was true. Sometimes, in a note; written in a hurry, tugging all of my fingers and pressing it onto me like a sacred promise; so I believed it won’t be broken.
(2) But I wake up, breathless and sweating, soulless and aching, and... you weren’t here.
(3) When I sit down for a minute and ponder about my decisions, I come back to those times when we have conversations past midnight. I would remember you looking at me like I were a secret you still kept, still deciding if you would let go or keep hold of. Those gentle touches in the soft light, more tender than everything illuminated by the moon.
(4) I wish I would have done something. Anything.
(5) Yet, you’re still a smoke that keeps on dancing through my nostrils I am yet to get out of my system.
(6) I used to love the first few times when you starred in my dreams. But ever since you closed your eyes each time I start to tremble out your name from my lips, I stopped wondering about the crinkles by your eyes. I stopped trying to miss the way you laugh, stopped trying to make you laugh. I stopped whispering prayers. I stopped altogether.
(7) At some nights, I don’t want to sleep anymore; I’m tired of sleeping. I’ll keep having dreams of you anyway. And I’ll keep having dreams of you anyway even if I’m awake.
(8) A recurring thought: I’ll ask you, “Will I keep holding on? Should I still love you?” I’ll ask you if ever get the chance.
3,024,000 light-years. across the stretched road silence drove you mouthed against my cheeks 'the universe holds no questions' in your eyes exploded a thousand uncertainties 1,209,600 light-years. it's a one in a million possibility that you feel the same as me i breathed against your skin 'i know i can't have an answer to a question unsaid' flushed across the skies my soul flew chasing my dreams of you 604,800 light-years. a spur of the moment i met your lips with mine resurfaced mantras of 'say my name like a prayer' collapsed once again with your glazed over eyes 172,800 light-years. held everything like a fragile box i gave it to you like a sacrifice 'don't make me your religion' crawled and lingered on my ears now on the finish line you casted me on fire zero light-years. picked up my own broken pieces as i puzzled through you and realize like a poisoned broken glass you never held my heart on the tip of your tongue my name never stepped past
hence, a.k.a. “Here’s to someone, ver. 2″ (eusie.)