I Need To Work From Home Because I Get Panic Attacks. Making Music Is My Best Chance At Earning A Living

Let Bert do his thing. He got flow.

i’m losing my mind

∅ Hi, I'm Blue! ∅ Here are some hearts and diamonds for my new Tumblr friends :)

Self-love is important. I am a good person and I deserve to be loved and respected.

Happy midnight! Today is a new day, and the start of a new era. Today I draw for you the sacred Triforce. Daily Affirmation: My name is Blue, and my past does not define me.

I might be going crazy, but I think I'm going to try panhandling tomorrow. Doing gigs and odd jobs is too stressful for me. I'm not homeless, but I can't work and my disability aid is months away. I haven't done panhandling before, and I am rather terrified. But I am going to wear a face mask, a hat, and sunglasses, which will help with the feeling of embarrassment. Wish me luck.

∅ Hi, I'm Blue! ∅ I put the letters in quadrants this time. I'm so smart!

Thank you. Yes, I REALLY do need to affirm my new name. I still have to use my old name in real life. I need to keep reinforcing my new name by using it here, so that my new sense of identity is not extinguished. So I started an art therapy project to draw my new name in different ways.

I am too depressed to do anything, and my thoughts are troubled by paranoia. However, I feel more stable than I did yesterday. Daily Affirmation: My name is Blue, and feeling bad does not make me a bad person.

Agender symbol, white on black, HD

Agender symbol, white on clear, HD (for printing)

∅ Hi, Blue here. ∅ I made an attempt at drawing something useful today. This is my version of the agender gender symbol. I like the use of the empty set sign from math to represent my agender identity. I wanted the image to print on a couple of t-shirts. So that's my image for today.

I don't feel like I have a particular gender, and that is totally valid!

Good morning! It is, in theory, possible for me to compose and record a new song today. I may as well try. The composition will be for two performers, one singer playing a guitar and another singer playing tapping sticks. I don't have another performer though, so I'll have to do both parts myself. I am not so religious anymore, but I have been encouraged by these words since childhood: Oh sing unto the Lord a new song! Sing unto the Lord all the Earth! - Psalm 96:1

All right, enough rest. Time to go back out there and be a public nuisance. I need to make it my mission to annoy every single person in my community with my panhandling. I realize now that nobody is going to give me any money. So my panhandling is now about finding pleasure in causing irritation to others. And if I get some money as well, all the better! I'm taking a chair this time. If nobody is actually going to pay me, I may as well make myself comfortable.

∅ Hi, Blue here. ∅ I deleted number 6, and made a new version. This is number 8, not counting the deleted one. I am a real star!