What Do You Think About Non-binary Bell (in 1981 No Less) Just Confusing The Absolute Shit Outta These

Hal: I think we should get a divorce.

Barry: What are you doing?

Hal: Just practicing.

Barry: Why are you already planning your hypothetical divorce?

Hal: I don't know. I'm 42, I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Barry: You don't even have a partner.

Hal: Hypothetically divorce me.

Barry: Okay, then I'm hypothetically taking half your assets.

Hal: Well you didn't sign the hypothetical prenup.

Hal, to Bruce: It's called a prenup, right?

Bruce: Yeah, it's a prenup and you DID hypothetically sign one.

Barry: Who the fuck is this guy?

Bruce: I'm his hypothetical lawyer in this divorce case.

Barry: Well then, I'm taking the hypothetical kids.

Barry, to Clark: Right? We can get those, right?

Clark: Yes, we can definitely get the hypothetical kids, don't worry about it.

Hal: Who the fuck is this hypothetical nerd? Fucking idiot glasses-wearing nerd.

Clark: Wow, that is a lot of hypothetical insults. I need to keep these on for continuity because I look like the other lawyer.

Barry: This is MY hypothetical lawyer and we have been hypothetically sleeping with each other.

Hal: How could you hypothetically do this to me?!

Barry: Because you hypothetically are an alcoholic!

Examples of Bruce’s “Dad Strength” as witnessed by various Robins throughout the years:

can and will bodily pick up any new Robin and bail as soon as gunfire starts on patrol

one time Bruce got out, physically ripped off a broken part of the Batmobile, and threw it in the backseat so he and Jason could keep chasing someone in the Narrows

ran home with Nightwing over his shoulder when he got shot

frequently lifts sewer grates/manhole covers like they weigh nothing

does push-ups with Robins on his back for a challenge

held onto the side of a building with just his fingers for ten minutes once when Steph’s grapple line broke and he had to help her back up

pulls hot dishes from the oven without mitts sometimes for Alfred (insists scar tissue on his hands means he can’t feel it, nobody fully believes him)

Damian swears he saw him kick a tree down once during training. A big tree.

Dick frequently catches him unscrewing screws in his prototypes with his bare fingers

Punches through walls????

can drink nothing but straight black coffee for several days before any signs of discomfort (this freaks out everyone but Tim)

Hey there! So yeah more ideas I guess lol!

*In High School*

Dick: The pretty student council president who’s dating the hot captain of the track team.

Jason: The insanely hot ass bad boy who’s dating the even hotter captain of the archery club.

Tim: The introverted coffee addicted shy boy who’s dating the extroverted punk rock jock.

Damian: The walking definition of Satan’s spawn who’s dating the adorably bubbly country boy.

Barbara: The drop dead gorgeous genius who’s dating the schools newspaper’s editor in chief.

Stephanie: The bad ass cheerleader who can kick ass if she wants cuz she’s more then just a pretty face.

Cassandra: The rebel teachers fear her students wanna be her really she just vibing and gives no fucks.

Feel free to reblog/like!

Hey there! So long time no see!

Bruce: So you all have a mode of transportation for the gala tonight?

Dick: Of course Bruce, save a four wheeler and ride a speedster.

Jason: Got it covered old man, save a harler and ride an archer.

Tim: Don’t worry Bruce I got it, save a limo and ride a country himbo.

Damian: Obviously father, save a wheel and ride the boy of steel.

Bruce: Mortified and facepalms.

Feel free to reblog/like!

Roadtripppp!

Soap, squished in the back seat: And why exactly does Gaz get to sit in the front again, Cap'n? Price, driving: Because he's my favourite. Also I don't trust Ghost being near the wheel. Ghost, grumbling looking out the window: Whatever, asshole. Gaz, smug in the front seat: It's true though, ever since Las Almas- Ghost: I get it, I get it, you don't have to remind me. Rudy, smushed between Soap and Ghost: Why am I here again? Soap: I needed a cuddle buddy, obviously? Ghost isn't a cuddling type, are you Ghost? Ghost: Nope. Rudy, sobbing: I want to go home. Alex, in the trunk: Can we pull over I REALLY need to piss. Farah, strapped to the roof outside peering through a window: Oh YOU want to pull over??!? Alejandro in Gaz's footwell like a literal dog: I feel so uncomfortable right now. Laswell, on the phone already at the destination, laughing: Should've just taken a plane, lady and gents. Should've just taken a fucking plane.

my pronouns are they/he/it/the/fucking/pentagon

I remember seeing posts about Jason's goons being older than him and them realizing "Oh fuck, our boss is a child"

And now I'm just thinking about Jason venting to them every now and then because they're all collectively like "idk where this kid's parents or emotional support beams are, so ig it'll just be us"

So just imagine Jason returning to his base after a heated argument with Bruce and immediately going to his goons to wail about how badly he's been wronged

Jason, sobbing: And he just doesn't get it! *Sniff* I just wanted him to avenge me to prove he still loves me!

Goon #47, rubbing Jason's back: Mhmm

Jason: A-And I don't even ask for much! I just want him to bash in the skull of the man who killed me! Is that such a hard request?

Goon #47, texting the goon gc and telling them all to get their shit ready cuz theyre about to serve some roasted bat for dinner with a side of clown: Not at all, boss :)

Damian and Jon hanging out at the Kent’s

Clark: Hey Jon, your pops just called me. Bessie went into labor so I’ll be gone for a bit. Do y’all need anything?

Damian: Your cow’s giving birth?!

Clark: Oh, yeah-

Damian, vibrating with excitement: Can I help?!

Jon:

Clark:

~ later ~

Clark, to Jon: You are marrying this boy. Do you understand me?

Why am I the funniest at the buttfuck of dawn??

Like all Arab mothers Taila al Ghul wears sandals for one perpose and one perpose only.

It is the ultimate weapon of discipline. It flies at speeds that go upto 380 k/h. Easy to put on and very easy to take off to hit her boys.

Jason and Damian grew to fear the sound of sandals.

They didn't clean their rooms; hight speed sandal to the back of their heads.

Half assing training; sandal in the face.

Rushing thought prayers; oh is dear, is that shoe flying.

Stuffing food down their throats; that's a very nice look bruise at the back of your head there boys.

And you best believe that when Jason and Damian have kids of their own, Talia would buy sandals for them.