Want To Commit But I Got A Thing Going On Tomorrow, So Suicide Debate Is Postponed. (I'm Upset For No

my thoughts when someone says "I love you" is just

ha ha. no, you don't. you just love the idea and perception of me that I have given you. you don't love me.

is it safe to take like.. 8 year old dietary pills you found in a drawer? they've never been opened before and im considering it..

also, they're huge. wtf.

I should've brought my blades with me to school today. i was so close to putting them in my bag yesterday and I should've.

i really really fucking need to right now and I can't go home for another 2 hours.

gonna fucking die or something

it feels so weird and wrong starting over. i don't like this.

i don't wanna speak, I don't wanna do any form of communication, I don't wanna type or write, I don't wanna talk. i don't wanna move. i don't wanna do anything.

again.

again.

again.

i just want to not exist, just wanna lay and rot, just wanna die.

why are we okay recently. well, not okay, but neutral. I'm not overly suicidal or depressed or anything like normal, but just rather nothing, numb, if anything. and I kinda hate it. makes the invalid feeling feel stronger.

i know for a fact, no one else at my school listens to him or even heard of him.

which makes me happier, I can finally have something that's mine

they can't take that away too. they can't take my only comfort away like everything else has.

i only hope that you never find me.

"when did you become such an ungrateful little urchin." "i did not teach my child to be this cruel to their mother"

i dunno. maybe when I became sick, wanna die on a daily, and started hating you and everyone else

just a possibility

My ideal body is covered in scars but apparently that’s not an acceptable body goal