Why Do I Barely Bleed. I Hit Deep Styros Again (wouldn't Say Baby Beans Even Though I Think I Saw A Few)

current mood is wanting to fucking cry, scream, and rip my skin apart and hair out but actually I'm just sitting doom scrolling or watching youtube letting these feelings sit because you just don't have the will to do any of those things.

hate that I'm 19 and done with high school now

gotta actually find a job, especially if I plan on taking a gap year or not going to college at all

i just realized, I lost my boops as well

“Made my bed

cleared my head

closed my eyes

let me rest

fuck the help!

fuck my friends!

fuck my life!

let me end!”

slight regret for how deep I cut on my wrist is now setting in

introductions!

hi, first off, this is a major TW account. mainly sh and sui. if you're not comfortable, then please. get out. i do not encourage this behavior, im simply venting and screaming my thoughts and actions. i don't intend to get better. i am also not a good person, by any standards, morally and mentally.

I am 19 yrs

disc- decayed.forest

identity? no. | somehow I have two partners (A & Z) which I dont get how

i kin music so much -> aWannabe, Original God, Rivilin, Rebzyyx, Max Fry

bpd, depression, severe anxiety and social skill issues, adhd, idfk and idc. questioning aspd and szpd I don't know what's going on anymore

things I like -> classic and supercars, Minecraft, Skyrim, gore, blood, crp, cof

DNI: 13 and under - 40 and over. religious bs. ed/sh groups. generally free with anyone interacting

why are we okay recently. well, not okay, but neutral. I'm not overly suicidal or depressed or anything like normal, but just rather nothing, numb, if anything. and I kinda hate it. makes the invalid feeling feel stronger.

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it feels so weird and wrong starting over. i don't like this.