ENFP Problems

Violet is teeny and frail the way that so many ya female protaginists are. But the difference is that the story recognizes her weaknesses and addresses them. Everyone can see she is breakable but what makes her scary is that she's fully willing to break herself to get what she wants. She isn't just anger in a cute tiny package she is rage shoved into a glass bottle with a crack running up the side. She doesn't just fight through pain, she functions in pain constantly. She's brutal and resilient and so willing to throw herself on a knife just to give others a better chance at survival.

My nemesis: sweaty armpit stains on shirts 😤

When a person with ADHD complains of severe anxiety, I recommend that the clinician not immediately accept the patient’s label for her emotional experience. A clinician should say, “Tell me more about your baseless, apprehensive fear,” which is the definition of anxiety. More times than not, a person with ADHD hyperarousal will give a quizzical look and respond, “I never said I was afraid.” If the patient can drop the label long enough to describe what the feeling is like, a clinician will likely hear, “I am always tense; I can’t relax enough to sit and watch a movie or TV program. I always feel like I have to go do something.” The patients are describing the inner experience of hyperactivity when it is not being expressed physically.

At the same time, people with ADHD also have fears that are based on real events in their lives. People with ADHD nervous systems are consistently inconsistent. The person is never sure that her abilities and intellect will show up when they are needed. Not being able to measure up at the job or at school, or in social circles is humiliating. It is understandable that people with ADHD live with persistent fear. These fears are real, so they do not indicate an anxiety disorder.

holy SHIT

Me: I’m having such a good time

Brain: sure would suck if you get hit with a low mood, and go nonverbal, and come off as rude and uninterested in your friends

Me:

Let's talk about "Monster" ... and one of Odysseus' criminally underrated traits: his lack of judgment.

I was re-listening to "Monster" the other day and it kind of just hit me... Overall, that song isn't my favorite (it's somewhere in B tier; the lyricism is great, and the part after "So if we must sail through dangerous oceans..." absolutely slaps, it's just not one that I go back to frequently.) But there are some things I genuinely adore about it because I adore the way it progresses Odysseus' character arc as clearly not a "corruption" and how this is conveyed through the way the song is set up and presented.

First of all, I simply have to yap about how Odysseus isn't justifying his foes' actions the way that I have seen some people falsely assume. He's describing what they did or do and essentially saying, "They aren't letting themselves be stopped by guilt from doing what they think they have to do, so why should I?"

Polyphemus doesn't overthink whether it's right or wrong to kill some people because they harmed him or his sheep.

Circe may deep down feel guilt but isn't letting that stop her from turning men into pigs to prevent any more harm from befalling her nymphs at their hands.

Poseidon isn't losing sleep over drowning a fleet because that is what gods do to retain their infamy and status.

Odysseus and the rest of his soldiers didn't use the Trojan horse tactic out of malice or bloodlust, but out of pragmatism. It was the most efficient way to win a war that would have only cost more lives on both sides if they hadn't ended it then and there.

You look at that and you may think, "That's all very fair, but that doesn't mean any of those actions are justified" ... and you'd be right. None of the actions above are actually right or justified.

But the thing about "Monster" that I love so much is that it's specifically NOT something like, "These people I've encountered are all evil and ruthless and they are right and justified in being that way; I'll be the same." It's actually, "These people I've encountered act with ruthlessness; it clearly aids them in achieving their goal, and they seem to have figured out how to not feel guilt over their actions. I want to reap those benefits too. So far, I've been acting with mercy, which seems to have disadvantaged me. If they can do it, I can and should do the same to level the playing field."

Odysseus isn't saying that their actions are right, wrong, or justified. He's simply exploring why these people act the way they do. And he does so entirely without judgment.

I'm not surprised about him not judging Circe; while she was still wrong since she went overboard and struck preemptively against people who were not guaranteed to ever cause harm, she was pretty much redeemed in the end and her point is the easiest out of these to understand.

But the rest? Polyphemus killed his best friend. Poseidon drowned his whole fleet. The Trojan horse? It never comes up anywhere else but since he mentions it here, I think it's safe to assume that Odysseus feels guilty for using a tactic such as this. And still... Odysseus talks about his foes' actions with understanding and an open mind. He acknowledges their points of view—all of them, even if none besides Circe ever acknowledged or understood his.

The only time we genuinely see Odysseus act out of resentment is when he tells Polyphemus his name... After that, he never shows anything of the sort ever again. If he ever held any resentment toward any of his foes, I feel like this is where he lets it go for good.

Hell, even Poseidon, whom he would have by far the most reasons to resent, Odysseus doesn't actually judge or resent. I wrote a whole mini-essay on why the Vengeance saga proves that Odysseus doesn't actually seek or want vengeance on Poseidon. One might argue that he sounded like he was avenging his crew in "Six Hundred Strike" but it's important to remember that he offered Poseidon forgiveness one song earlier. He didn't lead with vengeance or resentment, but he rekindled his anger when Poseidon rejected his mercy.

My point is that Odysseus doesn't judge or resent any of the people who attempt to stand between him and his home... which shows incredible character strength in and of itself. This occurs later, but he acts similarly toward Calypso in "Not Sorry for Loving You" as well.

This is such an underrated trait of his, especially considering it fits perfectly with EPIC's themes, which revolve around seeing every perspective and balancing between ruthlessness and mercy. Honestly, I don't think those themes would even work with a protagonist who isn't so open-minded.

Coming back to "Monster," as we've established, Odysseus doesn't pass judgment on his foes. Similarly, he isn't saying that his decision to embrace ruthlessness and "become" a Monster (read more to find out why I put that in quotation marks) or any of his future actions as this Monster are justified.

I genuinely despise it when people call his arc a "villain arc" or "corruption" because that's pretty much missing the entire point. He isn't actually becoming a monster, corrupting, or genuinely changing his personality—hence why I put those quotation marks earlier. He is deliberately choosing to embrace a certain ruthless way of acting, fully knowing that it is not actually right or justified. "So what if I'm the Monster?" is self-gaslighting. He knows it's not "so what?" But he's doing it anyway because he has seen this way of acting aiding his foes. He literally says, "I must become the Monster / And then we'll make it home." He is convinced that this is what he must become because he keeps being told this by everyone.

From the top, his values or person isn't actually being corrupted. He's not really internally changing. He's merely adapting a way of behaving because he thinks it's the only way he'll still get home, and only because of that. It's really f*cking sad actually. Especially because he is wrong; his not being ruthless is not actually the problem, as we find out later.

Genuinely, his monster act lasted exactly 3,5 songs; in the second half of "Mutiny" it's already all gone because he is so afraid for his crew and what they're about to do to themselves that he instinctively goes back to wanting to save them despite how they just led a mutiny, despite how they don't listen to him regarding the cows.

Odysseus' entire arc can be described as, "He tries out mercy, and it doesn't get him home. He tries out ruthlessness, and it doesn't get him home either. In order to get home, he needs to learn balance, in Hermes' words "Every trick in his domain"." And that is also, as I believe, the main theme of EPIC: Neither ruthlessness nor mercy by itself is the solution. Both have their place; one needs balance. Or: treat people as they ask to be treated.

Only by the time of the Vengeance saga does Odysseus seem to have finally figured this out, and that's where he genuinely starts succeeding.

So no, Odysseus is no longer "The Monster" by the time of the Vengeance saga, no matter how much the visuals in "Six Hundred Strike" try to convince us otherwise. But he isn't "Just a Man" either. Did anyone besides me notice how he stopped calling himself this or justifying his weak moments like that in "Monster" and how he doesn't go back to it even after dropping the monster act?

And here we have the perfect segway into an essay I haven't written yet that might answer the question, "If now he's not a man and not a monster, what is he then?"

Well, technically Odysseus told us himself that one time he acted out of resentment... "Neither man nor mythical." But that's an essay yet to be written... I'll get to it soon, and there we might answer what actually happened in "Six Hundred Strike" and why the line "If you dance with fate I know you'll enhance your state", that I see is mostly overlooked, matters so much more than we probably all think.

Until then, know that I am not actually the first one to address the "Neither man nor mythical" significance. Credit goes to @glisten-inthedark; coming across her post on this matter genuinely enhanced my understanding of what happened so much and I need all of you to read it because it's a truly brilliant conclusion. I'll write my own essay on this topic soon, I promise. But without that post, I would've probably not come to this realization for a long while.

Either way, we end this essay with words that I will never tire of repeating: Stop villainizing Odysseus, y'all. It's not cool, not only because it's undeserved but also because it pretty much shows that you have successfully missed the point and core theme of this musical.

... See you when we inspiration for another essay strikes me. In the meantime, have a brief introduction to what that essay will cover in meme form because I can.

something my therapist told me that personally has been rather helpful is that coping skills are not to make us feel better. they are to create space between u and ur feelings. they r to help u cope and do what u need to do. they are not meant to resolve ur negative feelings. if they do, that's a bonus. but if they don't, that's ok. learning that honestly helped so much. i'm such a perfectionist that i can't even cope if it's not gonna be perfect and this like took a weight off my shoulders. if i use a coping skill and don't feel better, that's ok. i am simply trying to distance myself from my emotion. i felt like i wasn't coping correctly before i learned this. like maybe i was doing something wrong or there was just something wrong with me.

I’ve seen a lot of posts about how “no one mourns the Wicked” is actually about Galinda, but I’ve been listening to it again, and I gotta say, I think the song is actually about the Wizard with rather dark implications.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Galinda thinks and believes it’s about her. But Galinda became good in the end, she was Elphaba’s friend, Elphaba and Fiyero miss her, and Galinda has friends in Oz, the musical ends with one of Elphaba’s flying monkeys getting the ability to talk to her and Galinda can help them now. She’s mourning Elphaba, and she might be alone in that, but in other respects, she isn’t alone or dead or wicked or forgotten.

The same cannot be said of the Wizard. “The Wicked’s lives are lonely” is very much about him. Even at the height of his power, he had to isolate himself so that no one could see he was a fraud. When Elphaba threatened him, he became paranoid and spent his days in isolation and fear. Whereas Galinda, even at her worst and limited power, has always been well known. The Wizard has left Oz, and the people don’t seem to question it because they have Galinda now, and they know Galinda and they love Galinda, while the Wizard was more an idea than a man. He never visited them, he never did what Galinda does for them. No one misses him, why would they? Galinda fills his role, what little of it there was, a thousand times over. The lyric “no one cries they won’t return” fits the Wizard best, not Galinda. People are thrilled to see her, and don’t seem to care that he’s gone, while Galinda cries for Elphaba.

Also “the wicked cry alone” applies to the Wizard too, when he mourns Elphaba. Yes, Galinda technically mourns for her alone too, but at least Galinda has the Animals, the few that can still say some words. The Wizard cries, but Galinda doesn’t cry with him, because the Wizard is crying over his own actions as well as her death, and Galinda has no sympathy for him, no one does, and that’s his own fault for making them hate Elphaba. Also the song says “Nothing grows for the wicked, they reap only what they’ve sown” and the story that Galinda tells during the song isn’t her and Elphaba’s story (that’s later), but Elphaba’s and her father’s story, specifically, how the Wizard brought about Elphaba’s existence and set himself on this path. Galinda asks if people are born wicked or have it thrust upon them, which is ironic because the Wizard is the reason Elphaba was born AND why she was vilified.

Then we have “no one lays a lily on their grave” and “the wicked die alone”. I’ve pointed this out in other posts, but it’s never confirmed in any or at least most versions of Wicked/Wizard of Oz source material that the Wizard makes it home or has any way to do so. I’m not sure what the movie is gonna do about this, or if they’ll attempt to repair the balloon or heavily imply he dies, but the Wizard dying alone in his grief and no one missing him while instrumentals of “no one mourns the wicked” play in the background certainly takes care of that problem.

Also “woe to those who spurn what goodness is, they are shown” also applies to the Wizard. He has a whole song in part 2 about goodness being a matter of perception and rejects Elphaba’s plea to help the Animals. He vilifies her goodness and believes, truly, that he is the hero because he has declared himself so, and that he is a good “father to the nation” because he declared it. He makes himself the subjective decider of goodness. It’s only in the end, when he realizes what he’s done to Elphaba that he has regrets and begins to see and understand the evil he has done. Elphaba is what he “misses when he’s misbehaved” as the song says, and although none of the villagers know that, Galinda witnessed it and knows that the Wizard missed the opportunity to be a father, which was all he claimed to ever want. It’s a missed opportunity, information he would not have been missing and discovered earlier had he acted differently, and “missed” in the sense that he misses the daughter he threw away.

If The Types Came with an Instruction Manual: INFP Edition

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner/friend of an INFP! Here are a few things to take note of with your new best friend! Oh, you didn’t know INFP was now your best friend? Well now you do, because if you have one, it’s going to stay by your side for pretty much ever.

1. Your INFP comes with the innate ability to scope out good and bad! This particular model is very good at determining whether or not a person is being truthful and genuine or totally fake! You just acquired a lie detector as well. Your INFP will be able to break a person down in about 5 minutes flat !On top of that, they will warn you as well like the little Golden retrievers they are! 2. Your INFP is an INTROVERT! This means that more often than not, your INFP is going to be just as happy staying in and watching a movie by his or her self, than going out. So remember to keep the super social things down to a small amount or this will drain your INFPs battery.* They tend to like one on one things or a small group often a maximum of 3-5. Be sure to ask INFP how they feel. Be prepared for a 30 minute conversation.

*CAUTION: If INFP loves you, INFP will try to force itself to go to gatherings so as to make you happy. Then you will not see INFP for a week or more. Be careful with INFPs willingness to participate as likely they do it for you.

3. INFP cares Deeply!! Your INFP comes standard with the ability of caring too much and too deeply. Usually this trait makes them resent themselves more than anything, but when they find that person who appreciates them for it, they become very happy and stick to you like glue. Please be sure to listen to INFP when they speak and try your best to understand them, because 99.9999% guaranteed, your INFP listens to you and remembers most everything you like and dislike. 4. Your INFP usually likes one of the following: Writing, drawing, music, etc. This is a way your INFP expresses themselves, and is a very important thing to them. There is a 40% chance that INFP will show you there art/writing/music choices one day. When/If they do, know that INFP finds you very special, as this is very uncommon and you have become the chosen one.

5. Your INFP is obsessed with something. No really, your INFP has something that it loves and expresses said love for it. Whether it is something as small as a fascination with rocks to a unhealthy love of rainbows. Please indulge this. INFP will show this feature the more you spend time with them. Pro Tip: If you get a gift for INFP that involves said obsession, you will become their favorite person ever and will likely keep with gift in a place and remember you every time they look at it. Plus they will likely never expect you to do this for them.

6. Your INFP is not good at confrontation. Your INFP DOES NOT like confrontation and will do anything to avoid it. They are diplomats and they keep true to the title. They try to make peace in bad situations and can often stop fights by being the nuetral go between. They are able to see both sides of the coin and will try their best to make everyone happy. Please avoid confrontation to spare INFPs becoming mentally exhausted/Upset/using every emotion they have and know of…

7. INFPs are VERY GOOD AT CONFRONTATION. (Yes we are aware of what was stated above in 6) While INFP does not like confrontation, when a friend of INFP has been wronged, it is as if something snapped in INFP and suddenly INFP will become bullet proof and will destroy its target. In plain terms, your Golden Retriever has now switched to full on Rottweiler guard dog mode. If you want this action not to be completed on your behalf, you must tell INFP before it annihilates the person that has wronged you. They have a very hurtful almost eerie way of completing this action and It is not pretty. Distract INFP with something shiny or its favorite thing to spare the person.

8. Your INFP in the embodiment of the word contradiction. (See 6 &7) Your INFP can be decisive and indecisive on the same day at basically the same time. One moment your INFP will be meek and mild like a lamb about one thing, and as vicious as a bear protecting it’s young about another. This is normal and in time will become less and less surprising.

Pro Tip: Don’t try to change this quality. It actually adds to INFPs quirkiness and overall personality. Plus their feelings WILL get hurt

9. Your INFP is very strong and can be very stubborn, but will cave if they love a person. Treat your INFP with care as their love for you will make them give in to doing most of what you want to make you happy. Consult with your INFP to be sure what you re doing/planning makes them happy too. More often than not it will, but they will appreciate the consideration and only love you more. (Be prepared for a 15-30 minutes conversation and possible tangents)

10. Your INFP needs to talk to you! Your INFP has a habit of keeping everything in. In their mind, the less they trouble you with their problems, somehow to them makes it better for everyone else. If left unchecked, INFP will slowly erode and self destruct and feel unlved and misunderstood. You must ask them how they are doing and spend one on one time with them often. It would be simple if asking how your INFP was was a simple as asking “how are you?” But it is NOT. You must sometimes be a little forceful. Show that you care.

Pro Tip: Invite INFP over for bonding time. Give them a warm cup of coffee/tea and a cozy place to sit. Be ready to listen. CAUTION! This will likely take from 2-8+ hours. Make a day for it!

These are the top 10 instructions for your new INFP friend! We would post more, but sadly the model INFP comes with 75 additional volumes each with 700+ pages per volume! But this is a good way to get started and get to knowing your new INFP!

Have fun with your new friend and Congratulations!

hi i brought some memes based on fourth wing

and i also created a playlist:

upd: i don't know what the problem is with the playlist showing, i'll try to fix it

How each type look during an argument

This is GOLD