Around When I First Started Dating My Boyfriend I Bought Myself This Novelty Blanket That Looks Like

around when I first started dating my boyfriend i bought myself this novelty blanket that looks like a photorealistic tortilla because I am SUCH A SUCKER for novelty shit. when he saw it in person for the first time his eyes lit up, which should have been a warning sign for the indignities to come.

so he’s a first responder and his day shifts start obnoxiously early as far as I, a pampered corporate asshole, am concerned. almost invariably when he’s at my place there will be an alarm at an hour that is downright unconscionable that will make him wake up and roll out of bed to get ready and will simultaneously make me burrow under the pillows grumbling about how surely nobody actually NEEDS their lives saved this early in the morning, after which I will promptly attempt to go back to sleep

he is a clever man and he knows this is when i am most vulnerable to attack.

every single time we do this dance, he quietly dresses, packs up, goes about getting ready to leave, and then when i have juuuust fallen back asleep, he returns with the tortilla blanket. He finds it no matter where I have hidden it.

He then creeps silently up to my side of the bed and uses his superior speed, strength, and reflexes to wrap me up in it incredibly tightly while i am still dazed and sputtering, so that i cannot move my legs or arms and am reduced to humiliating halfhearted magikarp flops that do not deter him from at least attempting to kiss my forehead.

then he goes to my bedroom door, opens it, then pauses, turns around, looks at me, the soft human filling of the facsimile of an enormous burrito he has just constructed, and says in his best romantic lead voice “I’ll see you soon, beans.”

you cannot understand how devastating it is to my ego that i am beans.

More Posts from Questing-for-edibility and Others

3 months ago

Oh, sweetheart, come here. Let me hold you for a moment.

I can see that something’s weighing on your little heart, and that’s okay. You don’t have to be happy all the time. You don’t have to push your feelings away or pretend they’re not there. It’s okay to feel sad, or angry, or scared. Feelings can be big and heavy sometimes, but you don’t have to carry them all on your own.

I’m right here, love bug. No matter what you’re feeling, I will always be here. You don’t have to explain, you don’t have to fix anything—you can just be, exactly as you are. If you need to cry, I will hold you close. If you need to stomp your little feet, I will be right here to keep you safe. If you need quiet, I will sit beside you and hold your hand so you know you’re not alone.

You are so precious, just as you are, in every feeling, in every moment. Your emotions don’t make you too much, and they don’t make you bad. They just mean you are you, and that is the most wonderful thing in the whole world.

So take all the time you need, my angel. I will love you through every feeling, every storm, and every quiet moment in between. I will be here, always, with open arms and an open heart, ready to give you whatever you need.

You are never alone, little one. You are safe. You are cherished. And you are oh-so deeply loved.

The People In The Dimension 20 Cast Are The Funniest People On The Planet.

The people in the Dimension 20 cast are the funniest people on the planet.

3 months ago
I Did It Toooo

I did it toooo

Looka This Cute Piccrew!! Lets Start A Baby Chain Of Ourselves :3

looka this cute piccrew!! lets start a baby chain of ourselves :3

Looka This Cute Piccrew!! Lets Start A Baby Chain Of Ourselves :3
Looka This Cute Piccrew!! Lets Start A Baby Chain Of Ourselves :3
2 months ago

How to feel tiny

Sometimes, regressing can be tricky. A lot of the first few years of life focus a lot on learning. If you have already learned what the material, your grown-up brain might want to take over, making it hard to enjoy toddler activities.

🟦If you want the experience of learning preschool/kindergarten material again, try learning your shapes, colors, the alphabet, months of the year, or days of the week in another language! You can use fun songs or games to help.

🖍️If you want to experience developing motor skills again, try using your non dominate hand. You can try coloring, learning to write your name, or do basic scissor worksheets. (Please be careful with the scissors!)

🐻If you want to explore and learn science, try learning about animals. Shows like Wild Kratts and Octonauts can be genuinely educational for "grown up" brains. You can also check out books about animals from the library!

🫂Learn social-emotional and coping skills that are appropriate for children. There are many YouTube videos for yoga or meditation for kids. Shows such as Bluey, Author, or Carl the collector are some of my favorites and focus on social skills.

☀️If you want to feel physically tiny, try getting on the floor. Remember when your body was small and everything around you looked big? That was perspective! You can achieve something similar by being on the ground. Just make sure to listen to your body and take breaks if it hurts. You can also cover yourself with a blanket to focus less on your size.

So It Seems Pretty Clear That Tress’ Planet Is Somewhat Familiar With Worldhoppers, Given That Their

So it seems pretty clear that Tress’ planet is somewhat familiar with worldhoppers, given that their world politics is dominated by the sorceress and that Ulaam and Hoid don’t raise too many eyebrows, but how the heck has Marsh’s iconography spread here? Did he go to the Emerald Sea for his holiday?

8 months ago

Agere Age Guide

2 years version

Hello, pumpkins! This is the second post in a thread of posts I'm making! You can find the first post here, I accidentally posted it to my alt account but the rest of the posts will be posted on this page. I also want to preface this by saying that not everything I'm saying here is going to apply to everyone and each and every person who regresses or dreams will follow these traits and stuff!

Okay, now to the post!

Traits and Behaviors!

☠︎︎This is about the time that babies start to get up and play around, small jumps, walking, bouncing and maybe even some small sprints

☠︎︎Babies this age are starting to like playing with other babies and parallel play could be really fun at this age, they may have trouble sharing though so make sure to have enough eye grabbing toys for all the babies

☠︎︎This is also the age where babies may start to throw more tantrums and have bigger feeling, they naturally want to test the boundaries at this age and they don't like being told no. They're also going to be a bit more bossy and want their way.

☠︎︎Since this is the time they're starting to have bigger mood swings and test the boundaries, that may result in having big reactions which may be aggressive, they may hit, yell, throw tantrums or even hurt themselves to try and cope with their big emotions

☠︎︎They may mostly use hand gestures but they're starting to babble a lot more and mimic language

Activities to do With Your Baby

☠︎︎This is a great age to play a lot of simple puzzle games and games to practice motor skills, patty cake is a great game to play with your baby and so is playing with toys like stacking blocks and ring-stack toys

☠︎︎Pretend play, these babies are growing up fast! They want to be just like cg. Playing dolls and stuffed animals, putting them to bed and feeding them is a great way to spend time with your baby

☠︎︎This is a great time for parallel play, though babies won't always feel interested or know how to play together, they still love to interact with each other and play together to some degree and parallel play is a great fun for babies this age

☠︎︎New textures and sounds are extremely interesting to babies in their two's! Playing with new textures like sand, slime, dirt and more can be super fun for these babies!

Foods and Recipes

These tinies are starting their food journey, they're starting to upgrade from baby foods and apple sauce to solid fruits and hard cereals!

This is one of those things that's very individualized to each regressor! I can tell you what this age range usually likes to snack on but you should ask your tiny what they like either way.

☠︎︎String cheese and yogurts

☠︎︎Cut up fresh fruits

☠︎︎Dry cereals like honey nut Cheerios and fruit loops

☠︎︎Oatmeal

☠︎︎Eggs and tasty proteins

Babies in their two's are starting their palate expanding journey, usually it's best to stay away from super strong flavors and stick to mild and bland flavors. Younger taste buds are much stronger than adult taste buds so when your regressor was a bio baby, they most-likely had blander foods so giving them some mild and bland snacks can be a comforting factor t their baby space

Shows and Movies

Again, this is one of those things that are super individualized to each and every baby! So still be sure to ask your baby what they like to watch either way! Some shows and movies two-year-olds like to watch are

☠︎︎Doc Mc Stuffins

☠︎︎Bluey

☠︎︎Storybots

☠︎︎Bubble Guppies

☠︎︎Octonauts

☠︎︎Peppa pig

☠︎︎Pete the cat

☠︎︎Mickey mouse

☠︎︎Disney movies are super great for babies this age two, the vibrant colors and animated voices are sure to keep their attention. Though with some discourse involving Disney has come up, I know a lot of people have stopped using Disney plus. You can still find some amazing shows and mov.ies on places like Netflix, Pbs kids, nickelodeon, and more!

Potty Time for the Terrible Twos

Generally, kiddos are using the potty on their own anywhere from 1.5 - 3 years old but that doesn't mean that kiddos older or younger may deviate from that. There's good info Here about how to properly diaper someone and what products to use

This is also a great video on how to diaper yourself if you're a baby who does their own diapy changes.

Know Your Baby

You're going to want to know and talk to your regressor before they regress with you! The only way you'll be happy with each other is talking about boundaries and the best way to cat or to each other's needs beforehand. Having the awkward conversations are hard but necessary

I hope this helped! Like I said before, not all these things will apply to all regressors in the 2 year range. If you have any questions, go ahead and feel free to drop a comment or shoot me a message

Agere Age Guide
Youtube Has Identified Me As A Heavy Cube Enjoyer

youtube has identified me as a heavy cube enjoyer

4 months ago
It's Getting Late, My Dear. You Can Play One More Game And It's Upstairs For Your Bath, Alright? After

It's getting late, my dear. You can play one more game and it's upstairs for your bath, alright? After that? Well, you can pick out your jammies and a stuffy and then we can cuddle up for a bedtime story. How does that sound? I know, the last few nights have been hard; you haven't been getting much rest. Mama did get you some new lavender soap at the store, we can see if that will help. Yes, I can leave my door open a crack in case you need me.

-----

Shhhh, my little one; what is it? You woke up and can't go back to sleep? It's okay, I'm here. What do you need? You want me to come back to your room? Yeah, I can do that. Do you want to read a story? No? That's fine, we can just cuddle until you fall back asleep. I'll be right here the whole time...promise.

(To the person who requested this, I hope you enjoy!)

3 months ago

Re-blog this if:

- you’re gay - can read - support gay people - want to hold a match between your fingers as you wander the halls of an ancient castle because it’s your only source of light amidst the ghosts of people long past - are an antelope - or want a chocolate bar.

No one will know which applies.

Hi I'm out of work and no ones hired me

While I'm waiting on approval for Unemployment & Food Stamps Im struggling to make ends meet

I have $900 in owed rent

I can't afford HRT ($300)

Any & all assistance is appreciated even if its just sharing this

Venmo: redloop

Cashapp: $TropScream

Paypal: tropscream

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questing-for-edibility - Adelaides Shenanigans
Adelaides Shenanigans

Hiii I’m Addie, I’m 17, a trans girl, and kinda newish here :) I’m an age regressor and a massive nerd(those are unrelated though lol) My favorite book series are the Stormlight Archive and the Wheel of Time!!!I’m also most likely autistc :)

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