serial-lurker-lain

Latest Posts by serial-lurker-lain

The Unfulfilled Relationship Between Me and Pitiable Birds

When I first saw a broken little bird by the side of the road

Abandoned, hurt, alone in the world

Of course I felt pity, that’s only natural

So I decided to take that poor lost chick in

I’d be the one who’d save it

When no one else in the world would

I raised that chick

Fed it, cared for it, guided it through life

I gave love to that chick

If that little bird pecks me

I know it doesn’t mean it

But it still hurts

It can’t help it

Since it has never known how to be loved

It is only natural

The pain is worth it

For it is nothing

Compared to the pain that chick has known

It is worth it

And I know the chick is grateful

For all my efforts

The little bird sometimes 

Shows me love too

But really, an Ave’s love is incompatible with me

A bird cannot give me anything

A bird cannot understand me

A bird’s song is devoid of meaning to my ears

But I am the one who must care for you

For, there is no one else 

In the entire world who would

And I know you know this

And I know you are grateful to me

I know you love me

And if one day you can sing a love song to the whole world

That should be enough.

But

The world is not ready for you

You are not ready for the world

The beasts out there will tear you apart

You know this, you know

The other animals are cruel

I am the only one who will be kind to you

You do know that, right?

You are nothing without me

A lost bird who can’t possibly survive

Without me guiding you

What do I want from you?

Something you can’t give me

But a “thank you for saving me” will do

Your Gratitude

Your Devotion

Your Love

My struggle is all worth it

In the end

Because I am the one who saved you.

...Ah, I see. We are both such innocent sinners.

As you grow

Surely you must become restless

In this gilded cage that you flew into and I locked

For you need freedom

But I sought to bind you

With caring and loving words

I stifled your tune

The same tune that I had worked to convince you

Was beautiful

I gave myself

Meaning, purpose, reason

Because you were not enough

At the end of the day

An Ave’s love is incompatible with me

Perhaps all I really wanted

Was for you to be able to go and sing your song

To those who can appreciate it

But I was never a selfless person either.

I won’t pretend my wishes were ever pure

Certainly not as pure as you

But even so, I wish you nothing but happiness in the future.

Please, go and sing a song of love to the whole world.

Personal Writing - "Other Life"

I reach out my hand to grasp something ethereal

My body disappears and I am flying in the sky 

I am in a dream

I open my eyes and feel your happiness

Though I must eventually fall back to earth

I will fly away again soon

If I want to forget everything at once

I close my eyes

I reach out

I fall towards the sun

I melt into the sky

My face copies your smile

I can only see color in your sky

It explodes and swirls around me

And gently whispers secrets only to me

And when the sun is setting

I will reflect your tear-filled eyes

I feel and see so vividly

Everything else seems pale and bleak

I realize this is the most alive I’ve ever been

Cycling through joy, grief, and rage

And starbursts of color surrounding me

Am I flying or sinking?

I only know I never want to come back to earth.

a piece of personal writing, poem that is not really a poem. prose? i don't know technical definitions. tentatively named "one taste is all it takes".

The curtains are drawn

The window has been tightly latched

The lock, tightly chained

No, no, it was a forbidden door

No, no, the key has been thrown away

In darkness, the child slumbers

There is something ancient she is unaware of

No, no, you must not think of it

No, no, you must not speak its name

At bedtime, yes, close your eyes

Follow this precisely

You will not be found

Yes, yes, listen to me

Yes, yes, do exactly as I say

As your footsteps echo on the stairwell

Did you feel it stir?

Tread carefully

So as not to wake it

Step in all the right places, and it will not hear you

But if it smells your fear it will all be over

No, no, you must not fear it

No, no, you must not give it form

One step, two steps, do not be careless

Three steps, four steps, do not trip up

One mistake is all it takes

No, no, it is a forbidden movement

No, no, it is a forbidden thought

Take one step forward and fall back three

You flail and struggle to grasp on to something, anything

But you blink just once and everything has disappeared

Yes, yes, goodbye to your innocence

Yes, yes, goodbye to the things you love

All paths lead here

It is unavoidable

No matter how you hide you will find yourself at this door eventually

No, no, do not let it smell you

No, no, do not let it taste you

You try to hide

But there is nowhere to go

There is nothing to be afraid of. There is nothing to be afraid of. There is nothing to be afraid of. There is nothing to be afraid of. There is nothing to be afraid of. There is nothing to be afraid of

But you are afraid

And it is awake.