Heaven Scent Without Air

Heaven scent without air

A/n: i didnt wanted to make this story too fucked up, i know fez would never react like this, i just had this scenario in my head i wanted to write it out i tried my best, i hope you all like it!! <3

Warning: s*lf harm, angst, mentions of violence, panic attack description, swearing.

Word count: 1.113

Needless to say you and Fez’s relationship was chaotic, your close friends would say toxic but you didn’t see it that way, he loved you and you know he would kill for you, die for you.

This night was different from the others, you two would usually argue but this time it got too much too fast.

You were laying on the bed you both shared, going through your phone as you waited for him to finish his shower.

Suddenly, the door harshly opened making your head lift from the screen only to find your boyfriend with anger written on his face, I fucked up good you thought.

“Strip, now” he demanded, getting closer to the edge of the bed, standing in front of you.

“W-what? Why?” Your voice shaking as you sat on the soft mattress,

“Take your fucking clothes off, don’t make me do it y/n, i’m dead fucking serious right now.”

Taking a deep breath you stood up, slowly getting rid of each clothing item on your body leaving you in just your underwear under his gaze.

His eyes filling with tears as they fixated on the bandage on your left thigh, letting a frustrated grunt. “fuck” your whisper low enough just for yourself to hear.

“Why? you told me you were clean y/n, why do you do this to yourself, you fucking promised!” his tone started of as a low whisper and it became louder which each word that came out of his mouth, running his hands through his head as he refused to look at you.

You tried your best holding back your tears but it didn’t work, head low, ashamed as anger rushed though your body, he was blaming you for this. You relapsed and hid it from him, it was all your fault.

Grabbing the shirt from the floor and placing it back on your body you tried to run from him, you needed to get out of that room as fast as you could, he was quicker and before you could lock yourself in the bathroom he forcefully pushed the door open not allowing you to hide.

“Get the fuck away from me, don’t fucking touch me!” you cried, don’t know how or from where you found your strength but you hardly pushed Fezco making him hit his back against the nearest wall, his features becoming more aggressive as he got closer to you “am i not good enough for you huh? that’s all this shit is about? Am i not doing enough? You are not only fucking hurting yourself but you are hurting me!” He yelled back at you hitting the wooden door behind him in frustration, the loud noise making you jump and your anxiety worst. Tears streaming on both of your faces, this was getting out of control and you both knew.

“I can’t help it I’m fucked up, you knew that before you started dating me, i’ve always been like this, it’s not going to change, i can’t change.” your words were filled with pain and anger not at him but yourself, you knew this brought pain to the both of you, but it was true, you couldn’t help it.

Your back sliding against the cold wall all the way to the floor, attempting to hide your face between your knees, not daring to look at him. “im sorry, please forgive me, please please please I’m so sorry, don’t leave me.” You begged with your eyes shut tight, face soaked with salty tears that didn’t dare to stop falling, your body shaking uncontrollably, making it impossible for your lungs to fill with air.

All of this situation came after he found a razor hidden in a drawer. It was your fault, thoughts rushing through your head faster than you could even encounter them “if i just didn’t leave it there, i should’ve hid it better. Fuck, i should’ve kept my promise.”

This only worsened your panic attack, hyperventilating as you were not being able to focus on your breathing.

Thats when he realized, seeing his princess like this, crying on the floor and begging for him not to leave, that he should’ve handled this differently, offer you help instead of letting anger take control of him and blaming you like this. His expression softened as he slowly took a seat on the floor right in front of you. He has dealt with your attacks before, so he knew how to handle this.

“Hey, baby look at me.” His voice soft and gentle, all his anger gone at the sight of your face. God he loved you.

“I’m so sorry.” your voice broken and coming out in a bare whisper from all the yelling and crying. “i know, i’m sorry too princess, comere.” he took you in his arms rocking you softly, making your body start to calm down in a matter of minutes, the shaking came to an end and so did the tears, air filling your lungs again, making breathing easier now.

His embrace had this effect on you, it made you feel like your were melting under his touch, making you feel warm, protected and loved. Home.

“I was going though a lot and i didn’t want to bother you with my shit, i won’t do it again, I’m really sorry.” You said quietly looking up, taking in every single one of this features. How can someone be this perfect?

“Next time you feelin like this talk to me, you know I’m here for you and i’ll always be here for you my angel, anytime, you know I’m just a call away.” He gently spoke leaving small kisses on your head.

“I know, i will.” You gave him a reassuring look.

“Lets take a bath, would you like that ma?” He offered.

“Mhm, yes baby please i need it.”

“Okay, let me get this ready for us.”

Watching him closely prepare the bath just how you liked it, he paid attention to the smallest details. He even lit up some candles.

Taking his clothes off first as he helped you take off your shirt, when you both were ready he entered the bathtub first, you hopped right after sitting in between his legs, your back leaning on his chest while he wrapped his arms tightly around your frame leaving little kisses as he buried his face on your neck. “I love you baby”

“i love you more Fezzy.” You could feel his smile appearing against your skin. It might be difficult sometimes but its definitely worth it, at the end of the day this is where you want to be, in his arms, for the rest of your life.