Lurking at the border of thoughts that should not have crawled their way in
you think that you would like to take the knife and thrust it through the place near your throat and heart. you ponder how much force it would take just to pierce the skin. how much would you have to dig until the sharp edges collide with bones and rip away blood vessels. how much until warm blood pools on the floor. how much until you can tug your heart out of the body and throw it away. just so in hopes that this all consuming black hole that has rooted in there and is slowly crawling all over your lungs will be cut apart from you.
again and again, you wonder, how much will it take until it reaches the edge?