Incorrect Wenclair - Blog Posts

Enid : Is pink panther a lion?

Wednesday : My love... Say that again, but slower.

Enid : ...I don't get it?

Wednesday : He is the pink panther.

Enid : Okay, but is he a lion though?

Wednesday : Enid. My heart. Light of my life. My sweet angel. He is a panther.

Enid : Is that a kind of lion?

Wednesday : No, mon cœur, it's a panther. Not a lion. Different animals entirely.

Enid : I just googled it. They are not pink?

Wednesday, on her last bit of sanity : And lions are?!

Wednesday : *is throwing stones at Enid and hers balcony window*

Enid : *opening it, looking exasperated and tired*

Enid : You have a phone for a reason, Willa!

*THUD*

Enid : DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT OUR WINDOW?!

Enid : Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Wednesday : But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Enid : Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Yoko, on a walkie talkie: This is Yoko, those idiots are fucking in the East wing again.

Divina : You mean fucking around, right?

Yoko : I know what I said.

Kidnapper : I have your girlfriend.

Enid : What? I don't have a girlfriend...

Kidnapper : Then who just called me a an incompetent overachieving disgrace to kidnapping and spit in my face?

Enid : Oh my god, you have Wednesday…. That’s my fucking wife fyi, rip to y-

Kidnapper : *incoherent screaming and a chainsaw sound in the distance*

Enid : ….Welp, that’s life :3

Enid : Would you still love me if I was a worm?

Wednesday : ...

Wednesday : Mon cœur please, this is the fifth time you've asked me this, it is 3am, go back to sleep.

Enid : [looking up from her phone] Hey, did you hear about the rumour that we might be gay?

Wednesday : Might be?

Enid : Yeah, they're doubting it! Can you believe that?

Enid : Hey Willa? Have you seen my red duffel bag?

Wednesday, in the midst of typing : No.

Enid : Huh. I could’ve sworn I left it on the bed…

Wednesday : *cough* What did you intend to do with it anyway?

Enid : With my bag? Why are you asking?

Wednesday : I merely thought, had I known the purpose of you bringing it up, I could help you search for it. Retrace your steps and what not.

Enid, squinting at Wednesday : …. Wends.

Wednesday : Yes, mi vida?

Enid : Wednesday, you didn’t.

Wednesday : I have no idea what you are referring to.

Enid : Willa! You didn’t destroy my bag!

Wednesday : … You know I cannot lie to you, ma lumiere.

Enid : Wednesday! I wasn’t leaving you! I just prepared some outfits for Div to try out for her date today with Yoko!

Wednesday : … Well now I just feel foolish.

Enid : My raven, I’m never leaving your side.

Enid slides into Wednesday’s lap, the goth still sitting on her writing chair. Arms wrap themselves around the seer’s neck, as the werewolf softly peppers her face with soft kisses.

Enid : You still haven’t told me where my bag is.

Wednesday : At this point? Thousand’s of feet under the Pacific sea.

Enid : WHAT?! WEDNESDAY-

Wednesday : Your clothes, on the other hand, are inside your closet, clean and ironed.

Enid : …. You are simply infuriating.

Wednesday, smiling : Astute observation, mon amour. You love me though.

Enid, sighing, leaning in for another kiss : That I do, φεγγάρι μου.

Enid, hiding in Yoko's room : - and I just can't believe she would do that to me!

Yoko, tired af cuz Enid has been complaining for the past hour : Okay, so, let me get this straight-I mean gay-anyway! You are mad at Wednesday... Because of what, exactly?

Enid : I literally just said why, like, a few seconds ago! Are you even paying attention?!

Divina, who hoped to have a normal evening with her vampire gf : Yeah, you did, but... Why?

Enid : Guys this isn't funny! I don't know what to do!

Random guy in suit that has been chasing Enid for the past hours : Mrs Addams, please, I just need you to sign these two files and then I'll leave!

Enid : For the last time, I won't be signing anything, I am too young to lead a multimillionaire corporation! I don't even know where I left my sweater this morning!

Wednesday, pushing the guy away and stopping before Enid, heaving breaths, desperate: Mon cœur, I apologize for doing this without notifying you earlier, but I was hoping to surprise you!

Enid : Willa, no. That's enough out of you, I told you we will sleep separately until I say otherwise. Now go.

Wednesday, on the verge of tears : But-! Ma lumiere-!

Enid : Wednesday Friday Addams, you better get your ass out of here, take this Fred guy with you and figure out a way out of this! End of discussion!

Wednesday, turning to Yoko with a murderous gaze : You! You are the cause of this!

Yoko : Hey- WOAH WAS THAT A FUCKING KNIFE?! HOW AM I AT FAULT HERE?!

Wednesday : You advised me to surprise Enid with Netflix, because she wanted her own but her mother wouldn't let her!

Yoko : WHEN I SAID NETFLIX, I DIDN'T MEAN THE FUCKING COMPANY ADDAMS! I MEANT AN ACCOUNT!

Wednesday : HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?!

Divina : Enid, please tell your fiancee not to kill my girlfriend. She obviously didn't mean to overstep, Wednesday had the best intentions in mind.

Enid : Honestly, I didn't even consider that Willa might not know how Netflix works. I am not mad at her anymore. But Yoko made fun of my eating habits yesterday. I'll let her sweat a little...

Divina : God, you even sound like an Addams now... Mischief suits you wolfie.

Enid : Aww, thanks bestie!

Wednesday chasing Yoko while throwing knives in the background.

The Fred guy, whose actual name is Christopher : WILL SOMEONE SIGN THE GODDAMN PAPERS ALREADY?!