Intp Things - Blog Posts

INTP during an apocalypse:

INTP: Finally, something interesting! This could kill half the population! Including me! I can't believe people are scared of this! This is the best thing that ever happened to me! I can use the hours of apocalypse training I did instead of swimming lessons!

ISFJ: *concerned stare and judges quietly*

Me: I want friends

*People become friends with me*

Me: Not like that

If INTP was in The Office:

INTP: My job as a sales person made me realise how much I hate people

(Looks sideways from camera at the cameraman)

INTP: I hate when people are prying into my life.....cuz guess what? I have nothing interesting in it....except Pam, Pam is awesome.

(Gets questioned if he likes Pam)

INTP: No, not really. I like her a lot, which is surprising since I don't like many people here *mouths Angela*

INTP: now Pam and I are good friends, I do believe she hates her fiance tho...but what can I do about it?

(Gets questioned about his work)

INTP: I come late everyday, Dwight is always mad at me being late, I don't care much. I check in my computer and play Pac man while talking to stupid clients like an idiot selling paper which won't be useful in a future paperless world.

INTP: then I take a 2 hour break and pretend to be friends with Micheal to justify my 2 hour break.

INTP: I have lunch in my car so I won't have to see Kevin eating 4 tuna sandwiches in one go.

INTP: I spend time with Toby, he is like the only normal person here. We sit down and mumble about our misery.

INTP: I hate Andy, he is so annoying, I have to hide in the bathroom to avoid his constant brags about Cornell. I mean I went to Yale, and now I am a paper salesman *shrugs* this is always how it ends.

(Gets questioned about Jim and Pam)

(Looks at the camera)

INTP: everyone knows they are in love. It's not even a question at this point.

An INTP view of life: part 2

ESFJ: how was school today?

INTP: the usual. I slept through 4 classes, aced the history quiz and skipped P.E by staying in library to "research"

ESFJ: ok, did you make any friends?

INTP: there was this girl in English class who thought my comment on the teacher was really funny.

ESFJ: So you made a friend!

INTP: no I offended her next minute by saying it was really amazing that she could decipher a joke like that.

ESFJ: You know what? You shouldn't try at all

INTP: that's what I keep saying!

...........................................

INFJ: If you look at him more closely it's clear he is in love.

INTP: But the face he is making isn't emotional enough. That's how I look when I wake up in the morning

INFJ: but then the girl told him he has to wait for her!

INTP: which is why he looks like he is in pain

INFJ: then we found out from the inner monologue that he never loved her.

INTP: he was just using her

INFJ: That is so...

INTP: interesting!

INFJ: I was gonna say sad, but ok.

INTP: maybe we are looking too much into it.

INFJ: overthinking is our job.

..........................................

ESFP: ....blah....blah....blah...I went to the room and saw him....blah....blah....no he said...I made dessert.....we laughed so hard.

INTP: hmmm... (what is she talking about?)

ESFP: then she started to complain about her best friend again...like girl if you don't like them don't be friends with them!

INTP: yeah (why I am I even here?)

ESFP: I can't believe he said that to me....that is so rude *cries*

INTP: (she didn't stick with the script, she is crying, what do I do?) There there...*pats ESFP*

ESFP: You are like my favourite person! You are such a great listener. Such a great friend!

INTP: Sure

..........................................

ISTJ: hey you need to clean the room.

INTP: I thought you were doing it.

ISTJ: we share a room. You have to clean your part.

INTP: well if it isn't your part of the room, you don't have to worry about it.

ISTJ: *triggered* but as humans we should keep our surroundings clean and neat.

INTP: are you a human?

ISTJ: yes.

INTP: How do you know? What if this is all a dream and you are just a butterfly that is imagining all these things. Maybe I am not real and just a figment of your imagination. What if you are in a coma and your brain is.....

ISTJ: I'll clean your side. If you just shut your mouth and don't open it again.

INTP: I can do that. Thanks.

...........................................

An INTP view of life: part 1

ENFJ: good morning my sunshine!

INTP: I just went to sleep.

ENFJ: It's 11 Am

INTP: time is an illusion.

.....................................

ESTJ: you have got to start your work.

INTP: nah

ESTJ: you have six hours till the deadline

INTP: six hours! I learned morse code in that time during a flight.

...........................

ISTP: you know we can conserve more energy and live longer if we don't move

INTP: I guess so. You wanna live longer?

ISTP: are you kidding?

INTP: yeah, I know living is the root of all our problems.

ISTP: wait, what exactly is our problem?

...................................

INFP: sometimes I see my reflection and feel sacred that no one will know the real me.

INTP: interesting

INFP: that I will live in a world full people who don't understand the reason of existence.....that we might have nothing to live for.....that everything is worthless

INTP: are you having an existential crisis?

INFP: yes...

INTP: happens to me six times a week, here have some tea.

INFP: maybe you understand me.

INTP: I am very good with people's thinking, I see through them.I just don't like to go near them. How about you don't hug me?

......................................

ENTJ: I will become the absolute best version of myself!

INTP: so you mean, you are not the best?

ENTJ: the best version of MYSELF

INTP: so there's a lame you, a cool you, a stupid you, a nice you....wait nice one doesn't exist

ENTJ: when I will be incharge I will make sure you rot in a dungeon

INTP: well that's where the best ideas come from. I don't mind it.

ENTJ: I can't believe you infuriate and amuse me at the same time.

Interviewer: so how do you feel like speaking right now?

INTP: I don't feel anything. I was told I will get 50 bucks for this.

Interviewer: haha really? You gave this interview just for the money?

INTP: of course, I would not talk to you if I wasn't paid for it.

Interviewer:....lets go to the first question. When do you wake up in the morning?

INTP: if I have to go to work 8 am and if I don't then 12 pm

Interviewer: and when do you sleep?

INTP: it depends on my caffeine level and current hobbies. A lot of all nighters if watching a new T.V show.

Interviewer: what's your favourite food?

INTP: anything that can be cooked with minimal cooking skills and effort

Interviewer: favourite season?

INTP: winter or autumn

Interviewer: favourite movie?

INTP: I can't choose one

Interviewer: favourite book?

INTP: don't go there.

Interviewer: what is your biggest dream in life?

INTP: I want to do something for the humanity.

Interviewer: that's nice

INTP: the lack of humanity in today's world baffles me. I thought I was aloof. But if everyone is like the people around me, even I want to help them.

Interviewer: how would you help humanity?

INTP: by destroying the humanity before humans destory each other and let the animals and plants live in peace.

Interviewer:....oh big dreams! Last question, how was your childhood like?

INTP: I grew up being paraded as a gifted child with intellect and curiousity. I didn't have friends and avoided any social situation. As I grew I realised my talents aren't valued by others and my mind was too fast for them. I slowed down and accepted that I am a medicore genius and my parents had lied to me about my abilities. I recently dropped out of college and adopted nihilism to make myself feel better about my failures and disappointments.

Interviewer: that's bad...

INTP: it doesn't matter much to me. My mom always told me I will end up in a jail or asylum. So life's been okay.

INTP be like

INTP:So, show me your tumblr.

ENFP:No way. You'll judge.

INTP:I never judge.

ENFP:Of course you do. You're a human.

INTP:Are you sure about my humanity?

ENFP:You've got me there.

Things That I Needed To Hear But Never Did (Part Two):

- Someone loves you, somewhere. Even if you feel like they don't. They do. They do. I promise you, they do.

- You're important to someone. You're just as important to someone as they are you. To them, you are the first choice.

- Nothing is wrong with you. There is no coding that needs to be fixed.

- You are you, and that is so great and so important, and you are unique and original. No one could ever replace you.

- Someone will fall for you as much as you fall for them. Those sappy notes and letters you write? Someone will do the same for you.

- Hugs are important. Physical affection is important. Not everything results in you getting hurt.

- Someone would die for you as much as you would them.

- You matter in someone else's world. You are apart of their story as they are yours.

- You can and will be found.

- The darkness isn't forever.

- If you disappear, someone will go on a journey to find you.

- There will be someone that will never, ever leave you despite anything you say or go through.