Marlene: gaslighting doesn’t work on me
Mary: ..oh?
Marlene: because I already don’t trust my, terrible, memory and I don’t care what really happened
Mary: if you could kiss any woman in the world feet, who would you choose?
Marlene: my beautiful girlfriend, Dorcas
Mary: that don’t count you do that anyway
Marlene: [with no hesitation] Euphemia Potter.
James: REALLY??
james and remus watching sirius and regulus fight because one stared at the other for a bit too long.
james: i don’t get why those two are so angry all the damn time.
remus: short people are closer to hell.
*sirius struggling in the kitchen at 3 am.*
remus: what’s going on, love?
sirius: trying to rip the slutty little fishnets off my damn oranges.
james: sirius is about to come home from his third date any minute now.
regulus: third date? with the same guy? did he talk during the first two?
james: yeah no, i’m as shocked as you are.
sirius: what did i ever do to you?
remus: *pulling out a list* i thought you’d never ask.
more jegulus and their struggle with french <3
regulus: are you done practicing?
james: yes! i’ve memorized what to say to sirius this time.
regulus: right, go on then.
james: tu es…a dúmmy…?
regulus: *facepalming* bête.
sirius and remus texting:
sirius: i love you, stay safe! <33
remus: will do, i love you too abby. <3
remus: baby*
*sirius black is typing…*
remus: oh god, here we go again…
the marauders are at a party.
sirius: *shit-faced drunk, dancing horribly on a table.*
remus: *sighing* love is blind.
james: *also shit-faced drunk, singing horribly on a makeshift stage.*
regulus: *facepalming* love is also deaf…tone-deaf.
*at james and regulus’ wedding*
everyone: aw, look at sirius, he’s gone to the back, he’s probably crying.
sirius: *dancing his little heart out because he no longer has to deal with james’ snoring or regulus’ 3 am epiphanies.*
the marauders (and their incorrect quotes writer) are very engrossed in the depp heard trial.
everyone here is team depp! (you might wanna check on snivvy though, he might be team heard. but hey! you didn’t hear it from us!)
regulus: care to explain what happened pour moi?
james: uh- oui oui, so i had a little too much café on an empty túmmy, so i had a - how do you say - panique attaque.
the marauders as the types of people you’d see on eid day! (eid at the prongs household)
wakes everyone up at 6am bc family is coming over: james.
is having the time of their life cooking in the kitchen or making all kinds of desserts: peter
spends HOURS getting ready, so they have to be woken up extra early: sirius and marlene.
gets dragged by their feet to go to eid prayers: sirius
“give me the fucking money” : remus and regulus.
hands out money in cute little envelopes: mary and lily.
uses a money shooter and enjoys watching the battle royale as everyone dives to the ground to collect as much money as possible: sirius and regulus // euphemia and fleamont.
steals all the money from the kids: dorcas.
the owner of this account, along with the marauders, would like to wish all their muslim supporters a very happy eid 🤍🤍
regulus: james, if you didn’t sleep last night then i’m very sorry, i was thinking about you.
james, distracted by a triangle shaped grape: …the illuminati have taken over the grape industry.
james: what’s the shadiest thing you’ve ever seen someone do?
remus: turn a bunch of kids into werewolves, just to start an army.
lily: being prejudiced against half-bloods and muggle borns whilst being a half-blood themselves.
sirius: try to conceive for years, then become abusive to the very kids they were dying to have.
james: o-oh, i was just gonna say nick my sweaters right after they said that their fashion sense is nothing like mine…
regulus: i never said, nor did such a thing.
james is texting a sleepy regulus at 3am.
james: reg, would you still love me if i had no ears?
regulus: no, goodnight.