Sanemi Shinaguzawa - Blog Posts

Good Morning! Good Evening! Good Night.

Small story about the Shinazugawas

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Okay this is a fluffy piece. With a little angst. There are vague references to past abuse. Also there will be brotherly antics😊.

Word count: 4617

(Also this is inspired by the art I did a little bit ago of Genya having a full head of hair and Kyogo's hair style: post 1 post 2)

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A light breeze blows through the house as the warm glow of the sun shines through the rice paper. A boy with short snow colored hair and wispy lashes scrunches his face at the light. He shifts under the thin covers until his face is pressed to his brother’s dark black hair. Genya shifts, disgruntled by the sudden weight pressed around him. His little face pinches sourly before he sharply elbows a bony elbow into the big thing behind him. Sanemi lets out a strangled yelp of pain, rolling over while gripping his abdomen, finally fully awake. “Ughhh…Gennyaah.” He groans sleepily as he sits up and rubs his eyes, his fluffy hair skewed and messy. He glances over to the now happy bundle beside him that snuggles deeper into the futon. The older brother narrows his eyes and huffs, Smug little twerp. 

“Good morning Sanemi.”

Sanemi looks up away from the sleeping toddler to see his mother hefting a laundry basket inside filled with freshly dried clothing from the night before. The night before he had helped her hang the clothing, now able to reach the same heights as his mother. Her pregnant belly made her unbalanced at times and her feet would swell making it uncomfortable to walk. 

Ma was almost definitely pregnant with twins, was what the doctor had said. It was believed still by a few that twins could bring either good luck or bad. Sanemi hoped that his new siblings would bring good luck with all the trouble they were causing their mother. She was sick all the time, her back always hurt, and she hardly rested anymore, but to be fair Sanemi didn’t think the ‘no rest' was really the twins’ fault.

More often than not she would still be working on the mending when she would send a sleepy, stubborn Sanemi to bed. She never let him stay up late with her, but he knew she was hardly getting more than a couple hours of sleep. Yet despite that she worked hard, rose early, and still looked flawless in everything she did. 

Sanemi shifted to stand, sliding out from under the covers, and stepping down off the tatami mats to the wooden floor.

“You could have woke me up Mama. I would have brought the baskets in.” He blows his hair from his eyes to see better as he reaches out his hands. Surprise briefly flits across her face before a warm smile takes over. Her hands also extending. 

“That’s very sweet of you dear, but you need your rest. You're still a child after all. Still growing.” The basket handles exchange hands and as they do Sanemi sees the bruising across the top of her knuckles and her wrists. His eyes linger as an angry sadness rises up in Sanemi for just a moment before he dispells it. He shakes his head a little, meeting his mother’s eyes as he smiles and jokes. 

“I don’t need to grow! I’m your height now and you can do a lot without being tall!”

Shizu chuckles, a bruised hand covering her smile. 

“And you’d be very short for a man dear. I can’t imagine you’d find a wife shorter than you.”

“Maybe I won’t find one or she could be tall.” He says as he hefts the basket to the genkan. He sets it right by the other smaller basket of mended garments. They would need to fold the clothing by each family. They had a lot of work ahead of them today.

Shizu chuckles, shaking her head at her son. A wave of dizziness hits her causing her to sway before the nausea kicks in. She shuffles across the wood floor and slides the shoji door open to their small kitchen. She sits on the bench by the wooden prepping table. It was a bench she often used to reach the taller cabinets. This was where she also sat to prepare their food, food that for them, was becoming more scarce. And soon they’d have more mouths to feed. She sighs. 

Shizu didn’t know what she would have to do to keep this up, but she knew she would find a way. She supposed that things would become easier for her physically after having the twins, but even so she knew she would need to do something soon. It wasn’t like Kyogo was generous. He paid the bills, but would only give her what he felt would pay for their food. He knew the cost of food was going up and the measly amount he would give her each week wouldn’t cover it. Her fists tighten in her lap. Her kids deserved better and they would get it. 

Sanemi saw as his mother moved to sit down. She looked queasy. They would need to get moving soon if they wanted to deliver everything before nightfall. Everyone in the town knew that it was dangerous after nightfall. Wild dogs and violent drunks were often out after dark. Sometimes bodies would be found torn apart in the forests. The townspeople had been trying to kill off the wild dogs as they had begun to breed with wolves and were becoming more and more dangerous as time went on. Some more superstitious people thought the killings were the work of man-eating demons. Sanemi scoffs at the thought. Some people would believe anything. Sanemi was pulled from his thoughts by his mother.

“Sanemi? Can you wake Genya please?”

He blinks before responding, an amused grin taking over his face. 

“Of course Ma.” He says. 

Sanemi turns and stalks towards the unsuspecting, slumbering lump on the futon. He grins widely as he makes his way back, kneeling carefully. He hovers before he pounces on his younger brother, who starts shrieking Oniichan! as he tickles him to death. Genya squirms and laughs, struggling to get away. Sanemi’s laughter joins the younger’s. Genya breaks free from Sanemi and the blanket, running to their mother’s side as Sanemi gives chase. 

“Get back here!” He yells out. 

Genya lets out a little shriek as he giggles more, running to the open back door. Sanemi can hear their mother’s amused giggles at their morning routine. Genya slides the door closed in Sanemi’s face. It surprises him enough to make him pause, before he slides it open in pursuit of the little rascal. 

His eyes narrow across the silent backyard, looking for signs of a troublesome toddler. The grass was sparse, leaving dirt patches here and there. They, like their neighbors and the other tenants, had a scraggly wooden fence outlining the yard. Almost a year ago they set up multiple clotheslines and made multiple bamboo baskets since they needed them for their little ‘business’. 

Sanemi's eyes are still trailing over the washing basins and boards when he hears it. Small labored breathing coming from the toppled over basket across the yard. Sanemi grins, but pretends to not notice. 

“Where could he be?” He complains loudly in false confusion. 

Small stifled giggles come from the basket. 

“Gen-ya.” He calls out, sing-songing his name as he quietly meanders his way to the toppled basket.

“Come out Genya.” He whines and calls out again and more giggles follow. 

He slowly steps towards the basket, a hand coming to grip the edge before he leans down popping his head in. 

“Gotcha!” Genya shrieks trying to crawl out away from his nii-chan, but before he can Sanemi rights the basket, and Genya and the clothing inside shift with the change in gravity. Genya giggles and cuddles a blanket amongst the clothing.

“Huh!” Sanemi exclaims in mock confusion, ‘thoroughly’ examining the basket as he peers in. 

“I could have sworn Genya was in here, but I guess I was wrong. I wonder what could be the cause of the weight in this basket? Isn’t clothing supposed to be light?” He says as he sways the basket back and forth dramatically. He picks it up and begins walking.

Giggles sound out from inside it as Sanemi makes his way to the open door.

“Nemi!” Genya calls. Sanemi pretends he can’t hear. 

“Nemi!” Genya calls louder. Sanemi pauses, a look of confusion crosses his face as he looks directly at Genya and the clothing below. 

“Clothing can’t talk. What could…”  His eyes bug out. 

“What!? My little brother? You little rascal. You're the reason my basket is so heavy!” He says in mock offense. Genya laughs, little tears leaking as he laughs at Sanemi’s ‘disgruntled’ face.

“Just you wait, Genya. You won’t get away with this.” He narrows his eyes playfully at the little boy in the basket. Genya sticks his tongue out while hugging the blanket closer. Sanemi laughs as he makes his way inside. Sanemi grins at his mother, holding the basket up in accomplishment.

“He’s up!”

She giggles, mirth coloring her voice. “I can see that.”

Sanemi nods and sets down the basket. He looks back at Genya. “You ready bud?” 

Genya shakes his head petulantly. Sanemi arches a brow, raising his tickling fingers. Genya nods his head eagerly then. Sanemi nods back as he scoops up the little tyke who was quite a bit smaller than him. 

Sanemi had, had a small growth spurt since turning eight, but so had Genya right before he turned three. Luckily for him, his growth spurt was bigger and he could still manage to pick up Genya. Unluckily his clothes were getting smaller and would soon become Genya’s. 

“Up we go!” He says as he settles Genya on his hip. “Now we’ve got to hurry or we’ll be late to the beetle races.”

Genya cocks his head. “Beetle races?” He asks. 

“Yeah! If we get home early enough we can do a beetle race!” He says a little awe peeking through as wonder colors his face. The black haired boy’s face takes on a look of wonder of his own.

“How Nemi?” He says excited, bouncing a little in his arms. Sanemi makes his way to where their clothing is stored in the single wooden dresser. Sanemi no longer had a change of clothes though. So he wouldn’t be getting changed. He had grown out of his only other pair of pants and shirt last fall. But his mother was making him a new set out of the old pair. Hopefully she’ll be done with them soon. Sanemi would have done it himself, but the only thing he knew how to do was mend. She hadn’t taught him how to make clothes yet.

“You know those beetles we collected last week?”

He nods quickly.

“Well I’ve been feeding them and they had babies! So now there’s a ton.” He sets Genya down as he pulls out their clothing. 

“Sanemi.” His mother calls from the kitchen.

“Yeah.” He answers absentmindedly while he helps Genya tie his shirt. 

“Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah, just a sec.” He leaves Genya to find his pants as he walks to his mother.

“What is it Ma?” He asks, a little worried at the troubled look on her face. She pauses before she asks hesitantly. 

“What type of beetles are they?” 

“The ones with the horns…Why?” He draws confused. 

She can’t meet his eyes as she says. “I’ll have to look, but I believe those are edible beetles, Sanemi. I don’t want to ask this, but we might need-”

He grabs her hands and shakes his head, voice wobbling even as he meets her eyes. “Don’t worry Mama. It’s fine.” Though he says this, his heart breaks a little. He really likes those beetles. He sees it in her eyes. She can tell he’s sad. He forces a smile.

“It’s okay Mama. Maybe I can raise beetles for us. And we’ll eat the ones that lose.” He says trying to hype himself up and make his smile bigger. She cups his face.

“Are you sure?” She asks firmly. Her brow pinches in worry and guilt and Sanemi’s heart hurts worse than it did for the soon-to-be dead beetles. Mama shouldn’t have to look that way. Not because of Sanemi. Not because of anything. He nods, decisively as his brows furrow. He pulls back, willing all sadness from his face, and puts on a blinding smile.

“Of course! I wouldn’t want to keep the weak ones anyways.” He says, chest puffed, crossing his arms. Mama smiles back sadly. 

“Thank you sweetheart.” She smiles. 

A cry of Aha! makes them both whip around to look at Genya. He’s finally gotten his sandals on, the reason for his exclamation, but he’s currently pantless, his bottom half only covered by his fundoshi.

“I’m ready Nemi.” He calls as he runs toward them in full confidence, the waist of his pants flapping behind him with the legs tied in the front, having apparently decided that his pants were gonna be a belt today. He looked ridiculous. Sanemi shakes his head at his brother's antics, before yelling, tickling fingers raised.

“Alright, come ‘ere you pantless rascal!”

—

After getting an unwilling Genya into his pants, their morning continued like usual. Sanemi and Shizu folded the clothing, both cleaned and mended, and separated them by family. Genya would sit waiting until they were done, so he could tie twine around each pile of clothing. He was getting better at that, as was evident with the pants fiasco. 

Once they were done, they fit the piles into baskets, putting them in the order in which they would be delivered. They had two big baskets and one small one, all having straps so they could carry them on their backs.

Sanemi put on his shoes, helping his mother with hers, before helping Genya put his basket on. Sanemi slipped his over his shoulders and opened the door stepping out onto and off the porch. He helped Genya step down, followed by his mother after she firmly shut the door. And they were off. 

Sanemi’s mother would lead the way as Sanemi followed beside her. She would point out kanji she knew to Sanemi, though she herself knew very little. Genya would sometimes go ahead of them or walk beside them depending on his mood. He was their door-knocker. He would announce their presence and then let Mama do the talking.

Their morning was peaceful as it dragged on into the afternoon. Genya was still as energetic as at the beginning. He would dart off the path to pick up grass that Sanemi had to stop him from eating multiple times. Sometimes he would bring back a flower for the both of them and sometimes Sanemi would follow him when he would spot some weird bug on the ground he wanted Sanemi to have. All in all they were having a nice day. 

They went to the base of the mountain a little outside the village to pick the wild vegetables his mother knew of after they had finished the deliveries. Shiroke, nettles, zenmai, and urui were what they usually looked for and if they were lucky they would also find wild garlic. Only Mama picked the nettles though because of the stinging prickles. 

After a few hours they stopped, safely storing the wild vegetables, and the few garlic they found, in Genya’s empty basket because Sanemi’s and his mother’s were filled with clothes. They made sure to find extra zenmai so they could dry it and store it for later. 

Mama often had to sit down on a fallen tree while Sanemi and Genya gathered the shiroke and zenmai ferns. Sanemi watched his mother now as they made their way home in the late afternoon sun. Sweat glistened across her brow causing her to wipe it away with the back of her hand. He hoped she would have the babies soon. They were making her very tired.

They made it home just as the sun had set. Sanemi helped Genya take off his basket and let him run to the backyard. He would probably have to go make sure he wasn’t eating grass again in a few minutes.

He brought Genya’s basket to the kitchen, pulling out the vegetables. The mother and son prepare the ferns for tomorrow after setting up the nettles, urui, and garlic to boil in a pot next to the rice on the stone stove. Sanemi was just putting the ferns into a third larger pot when Genya comes running in. He runs straight into their mother’s back as she sits on the bench in front of the prepping table. She makes a small oof as he collides. 

“Look Mama!” He shouts. 

“Genya,” Sanemi scolds. “You need to not run in the house or into people.”

“It’s alright Sanemi.” Shizu says, waving him off. “Now what is it you wanted to show me Genya?” 

She turns to him and Genya holds up a flower with white petals. “I got you a flower.”

She reaches up, to comb through his hair, noting the length. He’s going to need a haircut soon. She smiles at Genya. 

“That’s very nice. Did you have one for Sanemi?”

“NO!” He yells angrily.

Shizu’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Why not?” She asks, perplexed. “You did earlier.”

“Yeah why not, twerp?” Sanemi’s sour face appears beside them. He crosses his arms with narrowed eyes. 

“Sanemi.” Shizu scolds.

“What? He’s a twerp.”

“I’m not a chirp. I’m not a bird at all!” Genya stomps his little foot against the wood beneath, crossing his own arms and glaring at Sanemi. 

“It’s tw-erp, doofus.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-huh.”

“Boys.” Shizu tries to scold, but then Genya blows a raspberry at Sanemi and they’re off, Sanemi chasing the little imp across their home. Shizu sighs and decides to wait it out. She feels she’s getting too old for this. 

The boys race out of the kitchen and on to the futons. They go in circles before Genya makes a mad dash for the back door, but Sanemi cuts him off causing him to go back to the kitchen.

“Get back here!”

“No!”

Sanemi tries to corner him in the kitchen, he should have been able to, but then Genya goes for the door they all know not to cross.

“Genya don’t-!”

No one’s there, luckily. Genya had frozen in place at the fear he’d heard in his brother’s voice. 

“Sanemi.” His mother calls. He looks at her peaceful face and his previously rigid body relaxes.

“It’s alright,” She continues. 

“He’s not home right now. Even so, you both know not to go in there. Get over here please.” 

The sternness in their mother’s voice has both slinking over slowly to stand before her. Once settled she starts with Genya. 

“Now Genya. What’s gotten you so upset? Usually you're nicer to your nii-san.”

Genya doesn’t meet her eyes as chubby cheeks puff out and a foot scuffs the floor. He mumbles something neither can hear. 

“What did you say?” Shizu asks, leaning forward. Sanemi cocks his head lower as he looks at his brother. A clear pout is displayed on his face as he repeats himself.

“Nemi forgot.” He says sadly, confusing the other two, before Sanemi’s face lights up in recognition. It’s no wonder he forgot. He wasn’t looking forward to it anymore. 

“The beetle race.” He says.

“Yeah.” Genya huffs out, his eyes not meeting his brother’s.

“I’m sorry I forgot Genya.” Sanemi says. 

Genya looks up at his brother before he shuffles to lean against his leg. He pats it in reassurance. 

“It’s okay Nemi.”

Sanemi ruffles his head affectionately in return glad that his little brother wasn’t mad at him anymore. As silly as it was, it had hurt when he didn’t get a wilted flower too. 

Shizu watches her boys for a moment before she decides to interrupt. “Genya?”

He looks up at her. “We’ll have to do it tomorrow instead. It’s too late now, sweetheart.” 

“Okay.” He pouts, disappointed, though not as sad as before. 

Shizu smiles sadly in empathy before she says sweetly. 

“Now, go ahead and get ready for bed. And make sure to wash off all the dirt mister. I doubt your brother would appreciate rolling in the dirt with you tonight.” She grins amused and Genya giggles. Sanemi nods in agreement.

“Yeah that’s right! I don’t sleep with dirt balls.”

Genya pouts cutely. “I’m not a dirt ball.”

Sanemi grins. “If you wash off you won’t be.”

Genya scowls as he walks away, but stops in the doorway. 

“And I’m not a bird either.” He says with finality, turning away sharply to walk down the hall. 

Sanemi laughs at that and turns back to their stove, so he can stir the pots again. Shizu hums while they watch the pots boiling. They eventually bring over her bench so she can stir while Sanemi gets more wood for the fire. Shizu is putting a lid on the rice and pulling it off the stove to finish cooking when Sanemi returns.

After stoking the fire a little, he turns towards Kyogo’s room a few feet away. The door is still open he realizes. He walks across the room and closes it. It used to be Mama’s and Kyogo’s room, but ever since the man wanted nothing to do with them, ever since he started hating them, it’s just been Kyogo’s. That’s the way the man likes it. And that’s way Sanemi likes it too even if he hated that he got the best futon in the house, and the best clothes, and the best of anything that made its way through the front door. Honestly Sanemi thought the reason the man let them stay wasn’t because of his pride or image, but because he wanted punching bags at his convenience. 

Their night ends uneventfully, set back into their usual routine. They ate together laughing about Genya’s retelling of the day. He added quite a few details that definitely didn’t happen, but they indulge him nonetheless. Sanemi finds that Genya’s world is much brighter than his own at times. He hopes Genya never loses that world. 

The two boys clean up dinner while Shizu gets comfortable on her futon. She sets up her sewing needles and threads on a small wooden tray before she begins pulling out the first garment from her basket. She hums a tune to herself as she begins working, which makes Sanemi smile. He joins her humming as he continues cleaning with Genya. Once finished, Genya runs off to snuggle beneath the thin blanket on their shared futon. He lays his head on the pillow and watches Mama as she works, being lulled to sleep. 

Sanemi continues rubbing the boiled ferns one by one and then laying them out to dry on the table. This batch would last them a while. It takes him over an hour to finish. He dusts off his hands and makes his way outside to wash off like his brother, scrubbing the stickiness from ferns off his hands and the dirt from his face, feet, and arms. 

He walks back inside and sits beside his mother, pulling one of the garments from his own basket to work on. He grabs a matching thread, threading it through the eye of the needle and tying it off before he begins. He and his mother continue humming the tune while they work. His hands and eyes are tired. He fights back his yawns though, knowing that if she sees them, his mother will send him to bed. It isn’t long before he can’t hold them back anymore and one slips through. 

“Alright Sanemi-” Shizu starts.

“Noooo.” He whines quietly.

“-it’s time for bed.” She continues. 

He sighs, knowing there’s no use fighting her on this. 

“Okay.” He gives. He folds up the garment he was working on, making sure the needle, still attached by the thread, is resting on top before he sets it in his basket. He shuffles to her side and leans against her. She sets her needle and garment in front of her and hooks her arms around him, pulling him in close to her side. The silence of night seeps into the room only disturbed their breathing. Shizu hums again and they rock a little as they sit and listen to the soothing tune. Sanemi closes his eyes wishing this could never end, that days like this one would go on and on. He’d put up with chasing down a thousand pantless Genya’s and putting pants on them if he meant he could have this every day. He laughs a little at the thought. 

They hold each other, rocking slightly as his mother hums a little longer. “I love you Mama.” Sanemi mutters out. He snuggles in deeper into her shoulder knowing he has to go to bed now. She rests her head on his and squeezes him before she mutters out an, “I love you too my little blossom.”

He squeezes her tight before reluctantly letting go. He shuffles across the floor and over to his futon. Sliding in close, with his back next to Genya’s, Sanemi tries not to disturb his brother’s sleep. Genya decides to scoot away. Sanemi and Shizu noticing this, huff in amusement. Sanemi meets his mother’s beautiful blue eyes and smiles.

“Goodnight Mama. Love you.”

Shizu smiles back. 

“Goodnight Sanemi. Love you too.”

Shizu continues to hum through the night as she works and Sanemi drifts off to sleep.

—

Shizu wakes, startled by a sudden noise. She listens closely for sounds of danger, before sighing in relief. It sounded like a drunk had fallen while making his way home at the next house over. Shizu sighs, rubbing her belly. She had fallen asleep sitting up again. Her neck aches and her back is sore and stiff from the bent over position she fell asleep in. She groans as she moves to sit up straight. I need to go to bed, she thinks as she slides her mending off her lap.

It strikes her as odd as she looks around in the now dark room. Somehow the lights had been turned off. Maybe it was Kyogo when he came back, which would be very unlike him. If it was Sanemi he would have woken her up to tell her to lay down. It may have been Genya. He had become curious with light switches now that he could reach them, but he should be in bed. Either way Shizu is grateful she doesn’t have to get up to turn them off. 

She slowly crawls under her blanket, easing onto her back. It was a wonder that her husband hadn’t woken them coming back tonight if he truly had come back. Most nights he would wake the whole house, whether it be on purpose or in a drunken stupor. The best and most peaceful nights were when he didn’t come back at all.

Shizu tries to find a comfortable position that wouldn’t have her soon-to-be-born children crushing her lungs or bladder. She shifts around for a few minutes on her side before she finds it, ahh just right, she thinks as the pressure lifts. She rests her head on her pillow, content now, feeling herself fall unconscious. She was so tired. Her achy body was finally unwinding after a tiring day. Her eyes closed as sleep began to seep into her mind. Just as she was on the cusp of deep sleep, fear struck her to her core. She looks up and the shadow of Kyogo looms over her. She screams. 

—

To be continued.

Thank you for reading! I've never written something like this, so feedback is appreciated. I would really like to know if you feel the pacing or relationships feel off or anything else. Thanks!

—

Note: Before Genya came in with the white flower, he did eat grass. He also ate grass when he went to wash up. Sanemi sadly cannot protect Genya’s stomach, but luckily for Genya, we know he can survive eating more than grass 😊

Rough doodle of Sanemi I did in google keep.

Cover Your Ears

2nd part of previous post

Summary:

“I’ll help Nemi, so spiders don’t eat your head!” He paused, seeming to think about something before he looked worried. “You’ll protect my head too, right Nemi?”

Sanemi smiled, wrinkling his nose at him. “Of course silly, that's what big brothers do!” 

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Word Count: 1147

Warnings for referenced spousal abuse/rape. (Nothing is witnessed. I promise) It's only insinuated and is mainly about the kids. Also I don't think you can read this as a stand alone as there are many references to the first post.

Previous post

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It was a few months later….

THUNK-BANG.

Crashing sounds woke Sanemi, Genya, and their mother up. 

“AGHHH!!”

…..that Kyogo lost his job.

It was their father, Kyogo. He was back from drinking all night. It sounded like he was throwing things outside. 

“FUCK YOU GAKU!” 

His anger was different this time, Sanemi could sense it. His mother could sense it too by the nervous look on her face. Kyogo continued to scream curses outside and Sanemi waited for the tyrant to come inside. To come inside and swing at them and break their things that they couldn’t replace. A hand shook his shoulder. He looked at the face connected to it. 

“Sanemi, I want you to take Genya and hide in the backyard.” 

“But-” 

“No.” She said firmly. Her eyes darkening. Ma was never like this. She never had that look in her eyes. His Mama was scared. 

“He’ll hurt you.” He whispered. 

“I know.” Her head bowed. 

“But worse!” 

Her head stayed bowed. 

“Mama please-” She cut him off by picking him up. 

He stood, now on his feet, watching her. 

She grabbed Genya under his arms and quickly went to the back door with him on her hip. Sanemi followed, flinching as he heard more things break outside their front door. She set Genya down in one of their very large laundry baskets that he had helped Mama make from bamboo. She grabbed a spare blanket that had been drying on the clothes line. She looked at Sanemi now. 

“Get in.”

“No.” 

“Now, Sanemi.” 

“You’ll be alone!” 

She looked at him, an unknown emotion flitting across her face, before she kneeled and rested her hands on his shoulders. “Listen to me.” He wouldn’t look her in the face as tears pooled in his eyes and ran over their lids. 

“Hey none of that.” She chided gently. She titled his chin to look her in the face and she smiled. The smile that made bruises and cuts disappear, the smile Sanemi loved. He sobbed. She shouldn’t be wearing that smile. Not when she was one who was going to get hurt! His arms reached around her neck as hers wrapped around his middle. 

“I don’t want you to go.” He sobbed.

“I know.” She ran her fingers through his hair as her other hand rubbed his back. 

“I hate him.” He said.

“I know.” 

Sanemi hiccuped and squeezed her tighter. Maybe if he squeezed tight enough she would stay. Maybe they could run away and he’d help her raise Genya, he’d show Genya how to be a brother, how to be a father, and how to sew and mend and how to help Ma too.

He squeezes her as she squeezes back. 

“I love you Mama.” He pleaded.

“I love you too, my little blossom.” He could tell she was crying too.

 They heard another crash from the front of the house. 

“I have to go now Sanemi, you have to let me go.” Tears ran down her face.

“But I love you!” He sobbed, clinging harder. She pulled away. And Sanemi stood there staring at her as she stood up. She stooped over into the basket and kissed Genya on his head. He blinked his big eyes at her and smiled. He made grabby hands, so she would pick him up. Tears fell as she smiled back. 

“Bye-Bye, love you Genya.”

Genya giggled and waved. 

“Bye-bye.” He repeated softly. 

She stood back up and looked at Sanemi. She sighed before bending and picking up Sanemi under his legs and back. 

“Hey!” She placed him beside Genya, who immediately clung to his sobbing brother’s arm in worry. 

“Don’t go!” He pleaded again.

She smiled sadly before she dried her tears. She lifted the blanket and covered them both. 

“I love you.” She said above them as Sanemi heard her footsteps retreat. 

“Don’t go.” He whispered as his crying made his body tremble. 

Genya continued to cling to him as he cried. He wanted her to come back. He heard the door close. He wanted Mama to come back.  He heard their muffled voices. He wanted his Mama. Sanemi buried his face in his knees, waiting for Ma to come back for them. After a moment, something began wriggling and digging in between his hand and his leg. Sanemi stopped crying to look. Genya was trying to inch his finger in between where his hand tightly gripped his leg. 

“Genya. What are you doing?” Sanemi was confused. He raised a brow. 

Genya looked at Sanemi and went back to what he was doing. He looked to be on a mission. Genya’s face became more determined and his finger more persistent until one of his little fingers finally breached his tight clasp and Genya whipped his head full of hair around with a determined look and said, “Hey Nemi! Don’t be sad. Genya here!” he cheered. He beamed at Sanemi. And Sanemi froze, before he wetly chuckled and wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand that wasn’t occupied with holding Genya’s finger. He gripped Genya’s finger and met his eyes.

“I won’t be sad, Genya.” 

“Yay! Genya here! Nemi here!” He cheered as he practically hugged Sanemi's hand with his whole body, but the joyous atmosphere dropped as they heard the scream. Mama’s scream. Genya whimpered beside him. Sanemi pulled him close as her screams grated against their ears. Tears dripped from his eyes again. There was nothing they could do. There wouldn’t be any “Genya here! Nemi here!” for Mama. A small hand gripped his shirt, but… 

“H-hey Genya.” He looked up at Sanemi. Fear was quivering in his eyes. 

“Can-can you do something for me?” Genya nodded, a diligence taking over, though he still looked a little shaken.

“I want to cover your ears and I want you to cover mine.” 

Genya tilted his head. “Why?” 

Sanemi smiled. He leaned closer as if to divulge a secret. “I don’t want spiders to make nests in my ears.” 

Genya looked affronted and grossed out. “Ew! That gross Nemi.” 

Sanemi giggled weakly as he heard another scream. “I-I know!” 

Genya got a determined look again. “I’ll help Nemi, so spiders don’t eat your head!” He paused, seeming to think about something before he looked worried. “You’ll protect my head too, right Nemi?” 

Sanemi smiled, wrinkling his nose at him. “Of course silly, that's what big brothers do!” 

Genya beamed and scooted closer. Sanemi crossed his legs and pulled Genya into his lap. 

“Up you go.” Genya giggled. 

“Now what Nemi?” 

He grabbed Genya’s hands and placed them on his ears, while he reached around and put his on Genya’s. 

“Now you hold my ears and I’ll hold yours, like this. Sound good?” He felt Genya’s nod with his hands. Genya began to nod off not long after and with it his hands slipped, allowing Sanemi to hear the screams again. Genya slept peacefully and that’s all that mattered.

Sanemi's vision blurred in and out, trying not to succumb to sleep. Maybe he’d see Mama in the morning, he hoped he would, but Kyogo might kill her like the baby. Sanemi shuddered. No. He would see her. She’d come get them in the morning. She would… was his last thought as he drifted to sleep.

—

The next morning Shizu wouldn’t wake Sanemi and Genya. Sanemi would wake with the sun and find her passed out on the floor, bloodied and bruised. And after two weeks they would find that Shizu was pregnant once more.

Forgot to post this yesterday lol

White day illustration

demon slayer masterlist

Giyuu Tomioka

Giyuu Tomioka loves his crazy S/O

Please please please (don't bring me to tears) do a kinkmass with Obanai and Sanemi separately, idk what it is

Kinkmas/New year: Iguro Obanai and Sanemi Shinazugawa.

Warnings: double penetration, anal, p in v, oral(f and m receiving), clit kissing, pussy eating, Iguro’s basically a munch cause he eats pussy 24/7, Sanemi gets jealous when attention isn’t on him. MITSUSHINO SHIP🤗

You and Mitsuri were best friends and were always fangirling over your crushes. Except Shinobu wasn’t really a crush to Mitsuri because they were dating.

And now you two were having a sleepover, with Shinobu of course because she knows everything about everyone. Quite literally.

“So, I hear you have a crush or two.” Shinobu says, motioning to Mitsuri who told her, it wouldn’t be a lie to say Shinobu didn’t know everything about you two’s conversation.

“Yeah, it’s just something stupid I guess, I dunno how it happened, like, whatttttt!” You exclaimed as you heard a ‘caw!’ it came from your crow. He was delivering you a note.

It was a note from Shinazugawa. It read; ‘dear name it’s an emergency. Iguro and I have gotten into a minor situation that only you can help with, come to my estate at twenty o’clock(eight pm for those who don’t know military time).’

You quickly look up at the clock and see it’s ‘19:30/7:30pm’ on the clock. You immediately excuse yourself from the girls and leave, why are you just now getting this note????

His estate was like twenty-five minutes away and you needed to make sure you wouldn’t be late at all.

You got there with two minutes to spare and you used that to catch your breath before sliding open the door. “Shinazugawa? Obanai?” You questioned, hoping for a response.

You hear a grunt from the other room. It sounded like someone was in pain. You slowly step towards the room and open the door, seeing Obanai and Shinazugawa tied up on the bed right next to each other.

They both had just their boxers on, it seems like they have been tied up for a while. You look over their bodies, trying to look for the bow or knot that was tightened to tie them up. That’s when you see it.

The bulge pulsing against their boxers. You just observe them with a smile plastered on your face.

This was about to be a fun night.

I HAD TO GET THIS OUT, I'M SORRY THERE'S NO SMUT BUT IT'S BEEN IN MY DRAFTS SINCE DECEMBER YALL. I PROMISE THERE WILL BE A VALENTINE'S DAY STORY.

KINKMAS DAY 10: Sanemi Shinazugawa & Gyomei Himejima - a special request(or whatever you wanna call it.)

warnings: threesome, slight mention of jealousy, reader has no race but it is implied that the reader is poc, no gender identity but female pronouns, p in v, anal, oral(m receiving). You’re a hashira in Rengoku’s spot.

You had just gotten back from a mission with Tomioka, it had went well. You two managed to defeat the demons and even went out to eat!

Mitsuri and you were just talking about your missions to Kocho as you often took turns to talk instead of talking over each other.

“Oh, and Tomioka went out to eat with m—“ you didn’t even get to finish before they cut you off with a loud ‘WHAT’. you were so confused, was there a problem? Did you say something bad??

You just back away and go on your merry way, bumping into Gyomei, you apologize, then wind up starting and having a whole conversation with the MUCH taller man. The two of you were completely unaware of the person watching you from afar.

“Gyomei-San, would you like to accompany me to dinner at Shinazugawa's tonight? He mentioned that I could bring someone of my choice and you're the calmest person I know who won't argue with him!”

you say with excitement, hoping he'd say yes to accompanying you. Meanwhile behind you, Sanemi was watching from afar, listening closely to the current conversation between you and Gyomei.

Gyomei nods, showing that he’ll come to this dinner with you to Sanemi’s estate. You knew Sanemi wouldn’t argue with Gyomei for no reason, right?

During the dinner, Sanemi was just staring at you whilst you ate. He didn’t stop staring at you until you were done. “Shinazugawa, is something on my face?” You questioned.

-

one thing you didn’t expect to happen this evening was to be pounded into by sanemi while you were stroking gyomei off. you don’t remember how you ended up like this.

“Shinazugawa, be more careful with her.” Gyomei spoke up, slightly helping you jerk him off.

-

At the end of the day you ended up being taken care of by them, mainly Shinazugawa because Gyomei had a mission.

I’m really lazy for this one, but feel free to request stuff✌🏽

O tanto que fiquei desesperada, surtada e talvez um pouco (um pouquinho) feliz fazendo essa capa não dá para descrever aqui DUAWDBAIWUDBAIUWBD pois bem, primeiro que eu tinha ficado super feliz com o resultado, mas o gif que eu fiz infelizmente não deu no Spirit, ficou terrível e isso que me deixou desesperada e surtada e principalmente triste (sim, eu tentei diminuir os frames e a qualidade, mas ai deixou a edição muito feia buá buá. Também tentei comprimir mas a qualidade da capa foi toda embora) ;w;

Mas tirando esse acontecimento, eu não sei porque mas eu amo, simplesmente amo fazer capas manipuladas, ainda mais quando elas tem uma pegada Dark e eu posso ficar "brincando". Tipo, para representar o sangue, eu coloquei pétalas de flores (por conta das regras de imagem do Spirit) e gosto muito de colocar alguns significados ocultos, tipo o fato de que flores a gente remete logo a capas românticas, todavia as flores estão no meio de todo esse lixo, assim como o Giyuu tá no meio desse lixo e o fato da luz falhar e a cada retomada da luz o Giyuu sumir e aparecer, é quase que uma visão do Sanemi para essa situação, ou seria uma visão do Giyuu vendo o Sanemi ali? hmmm mistério ~

Ainda tem as fotos dele espalhadas no quadro, dele no café, dele na escola, até mesmo dele de costas. Quis trazer um pouco de desconforto nessa capa e acredito que eu trouxe, porque eu me sinto um pouco desconfortável se ficar olhando ela muito tempo, afinal quanto mais detalhes eu noto, mas eu percebo que tem algo de errado acontecendo NDAOWINDAOIWNOIWAN

Pois é, não é uma fanfic romântica gente.

Capa para a fanfic "Red means: 'I love You' " escrito pela queridíssima Prcabethoracle para a seção de Demon Slayer, fanfic com foco no Sanemi e no Giyuu.

Créditos aos donos de todos os recursos utilizados, como psd’s, Manipulações dos personagens feitas por mim usando de base nos png's de Hallyumi.

Capa para a fanfic "Born to Die" escrito por Prcabethoracle para a seção de Demon Slayer, fanfic com foco no casal Sanemi x Giyuu do anime/mangá Demon Slayer.

Eu tô tão viciada ultimamente em colocar gif em todas as minhas capas que eu não resisti de colocar alguns vaga-lumes na capa, e vocês sabem como eu amo editar com manipulação. É a primeira vez que eu me orgulho pacas de uma manipulação, porque olha isso: tá parecendo cena do anime mesmo ODINAWOIDNAOINWADIN parece que printei o anime, só coloquei o nome, os créditos e cabô, mas não gente NDOAWNDIOAWOIN

ai que orgulho, ufotable me contrata -sqn

Créditos aos donos de todos os recursos utilizados, como psd's e png's.

I have massive stocks saved up on the sanegiyuu market once this next arc is animated y'all don't even know.

Can't believe I forgot to include these two holy shit

I LOVE MY HUSBANDS

Indeed... This year I'm dying

New adopts! Check here to see which ones are still available/prices!!! You do not have to have a toyhouse to purchase, and can message me on any of my accounts!! If you DO have a toyhouse, Vote HERE to help me choose which anime I'm going to wcrp-ify next!!

Today is the day! Where our neighborhood hothead becomes the center of attention once again!! Please welcome, Sanemi Shinazugawa!! The Wind Pillar! The Suicidal Maniac! The Big Brother! Kanae's Secret Love Intrest! My Unfortunate Comfort Character!!

I just wanna wish him an AMAZING BIRTHDAY!! May he be in denial of his feelings for a bit longer ✨️ But pleasantries aside, why the hell is he so HOT?!? He has so many fucked up scars and weird ass eyes, but he still looks so damn good. He is like a 10 every single day. While I look like a 6 on a great day. AND I HAVE EYEBROWS!!! >:( Am I jealous of the fact that he is so pretty? Yes. Do I care? No. I'm just gonna enjoy his bare chest a while longer.

Demon Slayer S4 ep4 & slight manga spoilers!!

I'm sorry but all I could think during the paper airplane scene was the fact it's the calm before the storm, all I could think was "this isn't going to last."

Mui's "let's defeat Muzan together" had me bawling in the sense I know something you don't & I don't like it

"I even ate demons.." WHY DID YOU SAY IT SO HAPPILY TAJIRO I CAN'T TAKE IT I'M NOT READY FOR SANEMI & GENYA TO MEET I'M REALLY NOT

I'm very impatient, I need ep 5 NOW

Wilted Petals | Sanemi x fem!reader Hashira NSFW (18+), MDNI

Synopsis: Sanemi meets yn during the selection, taking a liking to her attitude and spirited way of talking to him. They grow closer due to their shared trauma and become lovers. On the night before their wedding Sanemi ventures out to find one of your favorite flowers. He never returns. That is, the Sanemi you once knew never returns. Warnings: MDNI, NSFW (18+), family death, demon killing, fainting, blood, gore, death, child death, injury, grief, heartbreak, pregnancy, alone, depression, oral (male!receiving), oral (fem!receiving), fingering, raw sex, creampie, breeding kink, obsessive kink, engagement, dirty talk (outside of the bedroom), angst...so much angst.... WC: 13.6k A/n: he calls her Petal 14 times. She was 14 when they first met... I'm not okay. This fucking fic ruined me. This is also mostly unedited...sorry

Sanemi would often tell you how you entirely envelop him. In your eyes, he was able to picture the future. In the timbre of your voice, he could recall the past. In your body, he was grounded in the present time. It was love. 

The world was falling apart around you both, but together you could rebuild anything. To think it all started with a flower. 

7 years ago…

The air was a different kind of weight in your nostrils. You could sense them, the demons. Some of the low-grade ones snarling with inhuman urges. You click your tongue, bored by the whole scheme of this showdown. What? Were you supposed to slay all these weak pieces of garbage while the rest of the Demon Slayer Corporation went after the ones that could form a coherent thought? All that consumed these losers was hunger. If you must partake, the sooner this is over the better. 

You wonder if there’s anyone else still alive, but before you can become lost in thought again a booming yell cuts through the trees. You tilt your head, knitting your brows together as the sound echoes through your ears. Hmm, what an interesting development. Your feet are bringing you toward the source of the sound before you know it. 

Brushing past some foliage you wait silently in the bush, observing the open area in front of you. There, looming and grotesque is a demon, gurbbling some nonsense about being in pain. Then, a sharp and shiny hoe comes crashing down on the skull – or whatever that thing had in its head because it definitely wasn’t a brain – of the demon. It yelps out in agony, slumping to the ground as ichor oozes from its many wounds. You watch as brisk movements suddenly have a chain wrapped around the mass of the demon. “You don’t need to be scared.” A voice calls from beyond the large body of the demon. “It’s dead.” The voice is lower this time, like the person holding that tone also held some deep regrets. 

Standing from the bush you were crouched in, you brush off the dirt from your trousers. “Scared? Please, I was bored waiting for you to finally finish off the damn thing.” You snap back, circling round the corpse. 

Mussed silver hair and those eyes… they bore into your very soul when they meet your own. He had to be the same age as you, maybe older. He carried himself in such a way that you were drawn to take a step closer. “I don’t know whether to applaud or roll my eyes. You obviously have an attitude problem.” He scoffs, tossing the muddled hoe to the side. “It’s dangerous to just stand around, come with me.” 

A giggle falls from your lips before you can stifle it. “With you? So you can yell another demon to its death? I think I can handle myself.” His eyes track your movement as you pull a sharp dagger from your belt. You flip it in the air, catching it by the handle with ease. 

He rolls his eyes this time. “A few party tricks will wind up with you dead,” He mutters, nodding his head toward the treeline. “Besides, we don’t have much time before the selection is finished.” Ah, he was right about that. It was better to stick with someone who knew their way out of this forest, because if there was one thing you weren’t good at, it was directions. 

 You kick at the dirt, the dust spreading onto a few kikus by a tree stump. “Fine, but you’re sharing your Ohagi.” You demand, trotting up to stand next to him. He peers down at you, some of his hair falling into his lavender eyes. You get a flashback to your little brother and how the same thing would happen to him. It’s a simple action, but you regret it as soon as his eyes dart from your hand back to your eyes. 

He catches your wrist, pulling it from his face. “Don’t touch me.” He growls, but quickly clears his throat, letting go of your arm. “And I am not sharing my Ohagi.” 

2 years later

That’s it, you were going to quit. Sanemi stares deadpanned toward the recently slaughtered demon, his nichirin sword covered in ichor. He then darts his gaze toward your figure, which also happens to be covered in demon ichor. “Nemi…don’t make me take this sword and shove it so far up your-” 

There’s a loud crack from behind you. Another demon looms out from behind a tree, drooling from its maw. A sigh deflates from your mouth, pissed at the interruption. You’d have to deal with Nemi later because now it was your turn to show off. The swordsmiths had trouble with you having less muscle density than the rest of the slayers. But when they saw how talented you were with close range daggers, they took that with stride. 

You pull your long blade dagger from its sheath, grinning at the large demon. “Remember, don’t get distracted-” 

“Kind of need you to shut up in order to do that Emi,” You crack your neck, beckoning the sludge-like demon toward you. “Come on fucker, I have a warm bath to take before this uniform is completely ruined.” You taunt, bouncing from foot to foot, channeling a wind style Sanemi had taught you. Out of the corner of your eye you can see a grin cock up the corner of his lips as you twist into formation. Focus glazes over your eyes as the muscles in your body harden. Your breath is almost non-existent as you set your target on the blobby creature. It wasn’t fit to be called a demon, more akin to something so close to death it was barely alive. 

Your nichirin sword hums with untapped potential, ready to explode forth and cut your target to shreds. You were practically giddy with excitement as your left foot slides forward, completing the set up. Just as the monster lets out a screeching roar you surge forward. The blade of your weapon cuts through its skin, severing an arm off with a high pitched yelp. 

Flipping back, you send a sharp gust of cold wind slicing open its abdomen. It has enough sense to peer down at its open belly, watching what insides it did have become part of the world around it. You suck in the brisk air around you, summoning a trick of your own; ice. A sharp dagger-like icicle appears in front of your chest, hovering in the current you still had summoned. You shut your eyes, picturing the icicle shooting through the girthy neck of your opponent. Then at once, everything is silent – even Sanemi. “Woah, where'd you learn how to do that?” He exclaims, his lavender gaze attached to where your summoned weapon had pinned the dangling – and headless – body of the low-grade demon against a tree. You let go of your focus too quickly, falling to your knees on the forest floor. Sanemi whips his head to observe you. “Hey, you alright? Hey come on, don’t start playing jokes on me-” His voice is cut off, not by anything else except your consciousness slipping away into nothing. 

-

The soft morning light stirs you from your slumber, a crow cawing incessantly outside. Your eyes blink open slowly, a throbbing pinch shooting from your head down your neck. You groan, shifting your sore body under the white blanket. Where were you? Your throat is unexpectedly moist and you feel fine except the stabbing pain in your head. It’s then you can hear the soft breathing of someone else. You peer to your side noting the spikey white hair you knew all too well. His arm is outstretched, his fingertips gingerly gripping your hand. Suddenly – your throat seems to dry up. What? Why is he sleeping there? Your brows knit together as you watch this boy who played up his hard exterior; be unguarded. It was baffling to observe him soundly sleeping over the side of your mattress. His long lashes brush against his squished cheeks and there’s a part in your chest that aches as you watch him. That aching steadily blooms into a warmth that makes your head throb even more. 

Somehow, you’d ended up in the infirmary. Somehow, Sanemi was sleeping by your side. Somehow… the promise you made yourself before entering the Final Selection slips away. There was room – in your heart you mean – for him. It was dangerous how much you yearned to brush your finger against his cheek. “What have you done to me…?” You whispered aloud, leaning your head to Sanemi’s level. “Why do I want to keep you around?”

His eyes twitch, before languidly opening. The first thing they find is your gaze, locking onto the fact you were staring at him. That fuzzy purple color darkens as he wakes up. His lips curve into a smile, but drop into a stern frown once he sits back on his knees. You don’t want to notice, but his hand still clasps yours tightly. “Tch, what the hell were you thinking, faintin’ like that? Your ass was lucky I was there to haul you back to the corps. My back fuckin’ hurts.” He rolls his eyes, but his thumb is gently stroking the back of your hand. He was right. What is wrong with you? He’s frustrated with you but all you can think about is how nice his warm hand feels against yours. 

You clear your throat. “Emi, I’m sorry-” He snaps a fierce look in your direction. 

“Shut yer trap, I’m not done chastising you.” He gripes, huffing out a large breath. “You are the biggest asshole I know. You’re blessed to have such an outstanding friend like me. Anyone else would’ve left you there. Now where’s my reward for savin’ yer ass?” He raises his brows gesturing to himself. 

It’s the medication you tell yourself – that’s why you do it. Your lips brush against his cheek in a delicate peck. With how your heart was hammering in your chest that action was scarier than slaying demons. His reaction – it’s not much to go off considering he freezes mid sentence. “Thank you,” you whisper in a hushed voice, too nervous that loud noises would scare him off. He’s staring, open mouthed, at you. 

A jolt runs through him and he briskly turns his head away from you. “N-next time just say thank you like a normal person…idiot.” He rubs his free hand along the nape of his neck, trying to keep his face out of your line of vision – but you’ve always been observant and your eyes widen as you see the tips of his ear rouge. What you wouldn’t give to see his face right now, but his grip on your hand was enough to tide you over for now. The sun glints off of a vase stuffed with an assortment of kikus. Just like them, something beautiful was budding here.  

1 year later

People were everywhere. It’s not that you had an issue with large groups, but usually when you were surrounded by this many bodies you were killing them. You’d be lying if you said the thought hadn’t crossed your mind. You feel on edge, but then you catch the smiling face of Sanemi Shinazugawa; newest Hashira. You tilt your head, grinning to yourself as you watch him from afar chatting with the flower Hashira – her little sister attached to her leg –  and the much larger stone Hashira. Master Ubuyashiki grins widely at something Sanemi has said, placing a hand on his back. He fits in so well among the elite slayers. “I’m glad they finally made him a Hashira.” A voice mutters from beside you. Your skin crawls with shock that you hadn’t picked up on someone being this close to you. Turning your head you meet the deep azure gaze of Giyu Tomioka, the water pillar. His presence is a wash of serenity. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t talk much or because you could feel the sorrow emanating from him. Was it some sort of requirement to go through tragedy to become a Hashira? If so, they should’ve recruited you a while ago. You scoff at your own joke, bringing Giyu’s transfixed gaze back to you. “Do you not think he’s fit?” Ah, there’s been a misunderstanding. You know what Giyu is asking, but the part of your brain that had grown since a year ago lets a salacious gaze rack up the uniform of the man across the garden. 

You find yourself clenching your thighs together. “Mmm, that's not it at all.” You hum, nodding toward Sanemi. “He’s going to save us all.” You don’t mean to say the last part out loud, but Giyu gives you a long, pondering look. 

There’s footsteps in front of you and you realize Sanemi has wandered toward you. “Good evening ma’am,” he bows his head and scoops up your hand. “Would you like to take a walk?” He inquires, shooting a glare toward the water Hashira. Giyu brushes off the line of territory Sanemi has seemingly drawn. 

“I’m glad to know we share the same sentiment, Miss Yn,” He takes a step back, bowing his head. “I bid you both goodnight.” He says curtly, then disappears around the master’s house.

Sanemi squeezes your hand, bringing your attention back to him. “I don’t like the way he looks at you.” He mutters. You let out a chuckle, amused by how wrong he could be when he was so smart. “Don’t laugh.” He huffs. He was so cute like this… if only you could just tell him how much he meant to you. Sanemi guides the both of you toward a wisteria tree, stopping under its leaves. “Y’know, I want to thank these trees,” His gaze wanders the branches. 

You smile, following the many petals of the flowering tree. “Why? Because they help you kill demons?” You tease. He did love his demon killing. A rumbling chuckle rattles through his chest. You swear you can feel the vibration in your intertwined hands. 

His gaze is soft as it falls to your face. “No,” he breathes. It’s like a magnet – being drawn to his lips. When you’re close enough to feel his hot breath against your nose he opens his mouth again. “Because they brought us together.” 

You’d never been to the entertainment district to view fireworks, but if they were anything like the buzzing happening against the back of your head – you still don’t think they’d compare. Sanemi gently slides his hand through your hair, caressing the back of your head. You share a trembling breath with him as your mouths clumsily slot together. A breeze brushes along the hanging flowers causing some of them to flutter to the ground. You watch them in the reflection of his eyes as his other hand rubs against your cheek. 

He presses his forehead against yours, shutting his eyes like a starved man. You both are panting, but you can’t look away from his swollen lips. “S-Sanemi,” you start. His eyes open instantly. “I think I’ve…” You swallow hard, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. 

If there was one thing you knew for certain, Sanemi wasn’t a patient man. “You’re really bad at this,” He chuckles. “I know. I like you too, yeah?” 

Yeah, fireworks didn’t have shit on this. 

8 months later

Sanemi grunts as you slip out from underneath the sheets. The warming glow of the sun basks your room in glorious light. “Mmph, come back to bed,” His strong arms wrap around your waist, holding you in place. A grin spreads across your lips. 

“Well, mister Wind Hashira, I need to go train. Now, let go.” You reply, pushing lightly on his muscled arm. He pouts, burrowing his head in your back. 

“Nuh-uh,” he huffs, taking in a deep breath of your scent. “You smell divine, it’s fuckin’ infuriatin’.” He pops up, placing his chin on your shoulder. You roll your eyes with a laugh. Sanemi and you had added a few things to your friendship; like sleeping in the same bed. After a long day of work there was nothing more heavenly than walking through his door. It was home and you’d be damned if anything would happen to it. You both had yet to cross into the zone of no return – sex. You kissed… a lot, but everything halted there. No funny business. There was an understanding that this was something special, but both of you were scared to step over the line. Maybe you weren’t ready. Maybe after you became a Hashira – to become equal enough to walk by his side. “What’s my pretty girl thinking about?” 

Without a second beat you answer honestly. “Training until I drop.”

3 years later… present day.

You bow your head. “Master,” you greet. Ubuyashiki’s illness had worsened over the years to an alarming degree. Of course, you wouldn’t say anything out loud, but it kept you up at night. He taps the wooden deck next to him. 

“Come, sit my child.” He gazes at you until you brush your uniform skirt underneath yourself. The pale light blue of your haori refracts the sun brushing through the petals of wisteria trees. “You take great honor in what you accomplish. I must say, I’m very proud.” He smiles and it’s the kind of warmth that makes you want to melt into his embrace. 

You bow your head, hiding the flush rushing to your cheeks. “Thank you Master.” He places a hand on your shoulder. 

He lifts his gaze to the whispering breeze. “I think it’s time you join our Hashira meetings.” His gaze swoops to look over the once small girl he knew. “You’ve grown Yn and I need people willing to grow on my side.” His grip on your shoulder tightens. “Now go, tell Sanemi.” Your mouth opens wide before snapping shut. You stand, politely dismissing yourself before rushing out the main gate of the estate. Your heart is pounding as you sprint back home. A Hashira…finally. You couldn’t believe it. All this effort, work, waiting, it was worth it. You couldn’t wait to see the look on Sanemi’s face. You’d kiss him a million times.

Your legs ache from yesterday’s training, but you push through the soreness. Hashira’s weren’t perfect, they felt pain – but having the title of Hashira was overcoming that pain to succeed in your goal. Was Ubuyashiki testing to see if you could run back to Sanemi? You’re sweating as you turn into the Wind Manor. “Sanemi!” You call, noting his sandals near the deck. “My love!” The words surprise you, but the excitement swelling in your chest overcomes the anxiety that Sanemi would find issue with it.

You trod further into your home, slipping off your boots as you step onto the deck. Sliding open the screen may have been a mistake, because you scream at the sudden presence of Sanemi on the ground. He’s wearing a stupid grin, the scars on his forehead smiling as well. Kiku and wisteria petals surround him – him on one knee. Staring up at you with a golden band pinched between his fingers. “Yn, you make me feel like those broken parts of me that always scream about how awful I am… can finally be mended. You’ve given me everything without even trying. You’re the only person who’s made me feel like I’m worth something. I want that feeling forever… marry me petal. Make me whole. I know we’re young, but with our profession, who knows how much time we’ll have left. I promise I’ll treat you right.” The past 7 years flood through your brain. The universe had put this man into your life when all you thought about was death. In part it was due to having to slaughter the only family member you had left right before the Final Selection. Your little brother had gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd and as his caregiver – you took care of him until the very end. 

Here was Sanemi, perfect with all his obvious issues. He’d been through so much; you’d been through so much together. He stood by you, yet you felt trepidations about accepting his proposal. He was strong, strong enough to protect you – but could you do the same? He’d been a Hashira much longer than you, seen what kind of dangers are out there. You reach up to trace the scar above his eyebrow. All those years ago he would’ve smacked your hand away, but he leans into your touch now. You were with him for most of the conception of these scars, so why were you jealous of such a permanent part of his body? 

“Yes.” You mutter, the word catching on your tongue. “I love you Sanemi Shinazugawa.” Your eyes meet and before you can choke on regret he kisses all the worries away. Your heart soars in your chest, but there’s a sinking feeling that something awful was going to tear the one good thing in your life away because you finally accepted you wanted to be happy. 

He grabs you and kisses you all over your face. “Let’s tell Ubuyashiki in the morning. With his blessin’ we’ll practically be married. You and me. Husband and wife.” A huge grin takes over both of your faces. What a beautiful melody those words were. 

If the world was about to burn though, you’d give into every carnal desire before it has a chance to fuck everything up. This meant taking the man currently trying to hide his erection to the bedroom you’ve kept innocent; until tonight. You were going to go out fucking or fighting. 

His hard face – the one he shows to everyone else, except you – melts away and is replaced by a genuine smile. “I love you too petal.” The world could wait, right now was just for the two of you. You feed into his kisses, pushing against him with filthy intentions. “Fuck, s’good,” He whispers against your swollen lips. You hadn’t realized, but your hands had worked his hair into a complete mess. “You’re driving me crazy, wife.” The word swipes you off your feet, causing you to falter in your attempts to unbuckle his belt. You blink up at him, furrowing your brows. His head tilts to the left, grinning the way he always does around you. “Got something you want to say gorgeous?” You huff out a frustrated sigh as you take a step back from him. 

“Sanemi.” You start. He quirks a brow, delightedly watching you. No time like the present to be honest with yourself. “I want to fuck you.” You finish off, observing his face drop from all snark to surprise. His mouth opens like he wants to say something, but then he shuts it immediately. “Do you like the sound of that, husband?” Two could play this game. His eyes darken as he takes in your figure. 

A hum rumbles through his throat as he takes a confident step toward you. “You want to fuck me or you want me to fuck you?” He cocks a smirk onto his lips, crossing those ungodly arms across his dipping neckline. You swallow, bashfully meeting his gaze. It was annoying how much of an effect he had on you. Normally you’d be fine flirting with him, but the tingling sensation running down your thighs was starting to make you nervous. 

“B-both,” You sputter out, standing your ground as the tips of his feet brush against yours. He bends down next to your ear, letting you revel in the sight of his chest. Your eyes trace the jagged lines of his criss-cross scar. Mmm, X marks the spot.  

His hot breath fans across your neck, sending shots of magma through your body. “Mmm, you sure you can handle all of me? ‘Cause I’m not holding back on you even if you are my wife.” The way he tests the latter word on his tongue makes you squirm in place. “I can barely stop myself from ripping into your uniform as it is.”

Sanemi backs you against the far wall of your home. “Don’t think you can command me around like all those kakushi.” You pout. He caresses your cheek, leaning in for a kiss. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” This kiss is different from the rest, it’s hungry – starving even. His rough palms are somehow more demanding than they’ve ever been. Your fingers trace the neckline of his uniform, rubbing your thumb across his pectoral scar. His muscles tense under your touch, his lips breaking from yours to pant out a shuddering groan. A fluttering buzz makes it hard to breathe. His head is bent to stare at your fingers, hair hanging in his face. You wanted to ruin him and be ruined by him. Your body is at war with itself. How perfect Sanemi is, you wanted to be the only one to see him come undone. 

Your fingers find his belt and his hands firmly plant themselves on either side of your head. It startles you when he lays his forehead against your shoulder, breathy grunts fall from his mouth – it only drives you forward in your actions. His belt slides somewhat easily free from the loops on his breaches. You unloop the button, slipping your hand underneath the clothing. A strangled hiss slides out his throat. “Shit, you’re goin’ to be the death of me.” 

Sanemi groans as you free his stiff cock from his pants. Your breath catches in your throat as you observe the length and girth of him. The color bleeds into an angry red and you swear he muffles a whimper against your skin. “That’s it baby, look at what you’ve done to me.” You glance at the back of his head then back to the beautiful apex of his thighs. You’d only seen drawings of phalluses or heard the other women chat about them. Never did you think you’d be at a loss for words when staring at one. “Ha, you goin’ to say somethin’ or just stare at me? S’startin’ to make me nervous.” He lifts his head to finally meet your gaze with lust filled eyes. A large gulp works its way through your throat, all the while Sanemi watches with rapt attention. 

“Maybe I like watching you squirm.” His brows raise as he mulls over your words. He wraps his warm hand around your wrist, leading it to his groin. He stares into your eyes the whole time, studying your reaction. It’s suddenly gotten a lot harder to breathe as your fingertips brush against the burning skin of his cock. 

“Oh? You like that huh? Maybe I should give you a better look at it.” He guides your hand down his shaft, groaning when he forms your hand around his base. Sanemi shifts his hips, sliding his cock through your rounded fist. “Damn it… just keep going – just like that.” His brows draw together and your thighs clench together. Seeing Sanemi horny and losing himself to the feeling of your hand was going to be seared into your brain. It was so wet between your legs…so wet and empty.

Your heart is seemingly trying to crawl out of your throat, but you feel so high from pleasuring him. Confidence was starting to take over the initial nerves. “So tough all the time… but you’re completely at my mercy,” You pant out, feeling the heat rise to the tip of your scalp. It was surprising you didn’t spontaneously combust with the sight in front of you. 

“Mmmhm, as wonderful as that sounds,” He shuts his eyes, trying to regain his focus. “I’m goin’ shut that pretty mouth of yours up,” Before you can wonder what he means, he shows you by pushing you to your knees. “Open,” He commands, backing up to behold your flushed cheeks and obliging mouth. You were paradise on earth. His cock is aching without your touch so he covers his length with a free hand, pumping himself like a horny teenager before you. You reduced him to pure desires and he couldn’t decide if that would be for your betterment… or your demise. “Suck it.” 

He brushes his weeping tip across your lips, creating a work of art in the process. He could stare at this all day long. Then – with one languid movement – he’s inside your warm wet mouth. He tosses his head back, his muscles flexing with enough tension they could snap. A sense of pride shoots through you, but something inside your own brain short circuits when he moans out your name. Suddenly you’re gripping his hips like a mad woman, digging your nails into his skin as you bob your head down his length – stopping at his base to hold all of him in your mouth. His legs are twitching and the stifled moans above you just drive you to swirl your tongue around the underside of his cock, where a long vein trails up to the tip. You follow it with the tip of your tongue until you meet his slit. From all the information you’ve gathered, this – this – was the most sensitive part of a man. 

You’re not sure what compels you to dip your tongue into the leaking hole, dancing your tongue across it while working your hands across the parts not covered by your mouth. The saliva you’d left behind and whatever was coming out of his tip made the movements easy. There were noises filling the room – one’s you’d be hearing echo off these walls for eternity. The wet squelching mixes with Sanemi’s whimpering moans in your favorite melody. 

Sanemi’s hand twitches to the back of your head, wrapping your hair around his flushed hands. “E-enough,” He hisses, pulling you away by your hair. You glare up at him. It’s hard to not shove you back on his cock when you look like that.

Your lips are bruised, the corners red and splotchy. Drool drips from your mouth and there’s a look in your eyes that makes Sanemi hoist you to your feet. He wasn’t going to cum unless it was inside that sweet cunt of yours. He was going to press you into the mattress until you were with his child. Suddenly his mind is blank, the only thought on rotation being ‘fill her to the brim.’

He guides you into the bedroom where the mattresses are already rolled out. Had he been thinking about this as he set up the proposal? Was the night meant to lead to this very moment? Sanemi envelopes you in his arms, kissing the tip of your nose. “Don’t you think s’unfair I’m the only one undressing?” His voice is so calm and low it goes straight from your ears to your core.

You drop your hands to the buttons on your uniform. “If you’re that eager then maybe you should help me out.” His gaze follows your hands, zeroing in on the sliver of your neck revealed. You peel back the layer of your haori, the blue fabric tumbling to the ground in a heap. Next is the top part of your uniform, slipping off the white undershirt as well. Your chest is almost bare in front of him, negating the cloth that winds around your chest. The rounds of your breasts only emphasize the heavy breaths falling from your mouth. Sanemi groans, biting into his lip. “What’s that? You were all talk just a moment ago.” You undo the clip.

Sanemi sucks in a breath, his gaze growing darker. “Describin’ your beauty takes time,” He whips his eyes up to meet yours. He cocks a grin, slowly dropping to your pebbled nipples. “As you know, m’not a man of pretty words,” He cups one of his massive hands under the heft of your chest. In an instant his lips plant a delectable kiss against the throbbing nub. The sensation rushes through your system, eliciting a pitiful moan to escape past your lips. His gaze flicks to you, watching with fire behind his expression. His lips curl into a smile against your breast. “Haa… shit, you’re really something else, huh?” A flush rushes from the tips of your toes to the crown of your head. Sanemi trails wicked kisses to your jaw, stopping to visit your mouth. The corners of your mouth sting from pushing all of him in – but the pain only brings about more pleasure. Your eyes flutter shut as he grazes his teeth on your bottom lip. The grip on his shoulders tighten as you tremble with arousal. 

One muscular arm dips between your thighs, cupping your mound. He scoffs, quirking that damn brow of his. “Were you plannin’ on sharin’ how wet you are f’me, sweetheart?” He growls, bringing his hand to your lips – smearing your arousal across them. His brows narrow as you squeeze your thighs together, squirming desperately in front of him. “Ha, you need somethin’?”

You break, annoyed at the unbearable desire roaring through you. “Damn it Sanemi, stop teasing me – do something.” You huff, placing yourself in between the sleeping mats. You raise your legs and spread them wide for him. He throws his head back in a dark chuckle. 

Kneeling down beside you he runs his warm hands up your thighs. “Guessin’ all those lessons in patience from Gyomei didn’t exactly… pay off?” He snarks, brushing the bottom of your skirt out of the way. You roll your eyes, fed up with his attitude. 

“Everyone has their breaking point, Sanemi.” You grunt, turning your face away from him. He takes this as an opportunity to run his thumb along your slit. Your body straightens, a breathy moan blasting out of you. He was playing dirty.

You whisk your burning gaze back to him, still wearing the frustrated expression. “Mmm, don’t worry pretty girl, I’m about to show you yours.” He dips his head between your thighs, lapping at the plush skin where your stockings dug in. You can feel his smile. “You know, Iguro was right.” He hums, kissing circles on your inner thigh while his thumb massages the other. You couldn’t focus on what he was musing about – too focused on the excitement of having this man, whole. “Givin’ stockings to a girl was great advice.” He captures the fabric between his teeth, leisurely taking it off your leg. “Now m’constantly between your legs.” 

Why did he say these things? Now whenever you pull your stockings on he’s all you’re going to be thinking about. Not that he wasn’t already constantly on your mind. “You’re so unfair,” You pout, wishing there was something you could tease him about – but as you gaze over your bare chest the next breath catches in your throat. 

Sanemi has your leg outstretched against his chest, tossing your stockings to the side. They flutter through the air like they were glad he touched them. Lucky bitches. He eyes you as he kisses your ankle, raking his teeth against the tendons. He swoops his hand under your calf, heaving your left leg over his shoulder. “The more I hear you complain the more I want to fuck you until that pretty voice can’t talk anymore.” He doesn’t wait for you to respond, sweeping his tongue against your folds. 

A startled whimper careens from within you. His tongue laps up your sex, finding its way to your entrance. You were panting now, gripping the sheets like your life depending on it. If you let go you might float up to the gods. “F-fuck,” you moan, squirming under his minstrations. This only drives his actions to a higher level as he moves his fingers to enter your weeping cunt. “Ahh, oh–” Your body is tensing around his finger and before you get used to one of his digits working in and out of you he adds another. You squeeze your thighs around his head as he flicks his tongue against your throbbing clit. “Yes, Sanemi, right there,” you call out, your voice pitched higher than usual. The tandem of his tongue and fingers had your thighs trembling with the growing high of your impending orgasm. 

His head squirms free from the apex of your thighs. “S’my girl, I want your cum on my tongue,” He commands breathily. Without instruction you spread your legs for him, his pace heightening your senses as he carries you over the edge. Throaty moans and whimpers shake past your lips as you clench down. 

Sanemi slips his fingers out of you, panting as he finds your eyes. He reaches his hand to your mouth, sliding the tips of his pointer and middle finger into your mouth. “S’pretty when you cum,” He hums watching you take his fingers inside your mouth. “Makes me wanna devour you,” He tilts his head following your gaze – straight to his neglected cock. “Heh, I have three guesses as to what you want from me and the first two don’t count.” He takes his fingers back, popping them into his own mouth. “A good night’s rest?” He inquires. You shake your head. “Maybe a cute little dog?” You shake your head again. He smirks. “Ahh, that’s right. You have to be overworked to fall asleep. My girl has to be brought to the brink of death before she’s satisfied. Isn’t that right?” He coos, positioning himself closer to your core. You nod eagerly, words apparently forgotten. 

He curls his hands around your calves, yanking you closer to him and wrapping your legs around his hips. “Then who am I to deny my darling?” You wait with bated breath as he lines the head of his cock against your entrance. A sharp breath fills your lungs as he pushes gently into your wet walls, clenching around him. “S’tight.” He mutters as his hips shift forward. He holds your hips still as he burrows deeper. There’s a pinching sensation as your cunt welcomes him. “Sorry, s’sorry, doin’ s’good.” He whispers, but your pain gradually flares into an overwhelming pleasure. 

His slow methodical movements turn ravenous as he shoves his length into your greedy pussy. “S’takin’ all of me, such a good girl,” He pants, thrusting with desperation – chasing his own orgasm but focusing on the spot that makes you scream his name. “S’it,” He’s driving deeper and deeper, the slapping noise of skin against skin filling the room. He’s whining about how heavenly you are, promising to stay inside of you forever. 

You throw your head back against the pillow. “Cum for me, s’my girl, just like that.” He praises, studying the way your body shakes with burning pleasure. His encouragement floods you, your second orgasm of the night rushing through you with tingling stars. Your cunt cinches around him, eliciting a whiny moan from his lips. 

He pounds into you relentlessly, spewing apologetic moans your way. Soon enough his hot cum fills your pussy in a beautiful mess. You feel so full, it’s the kind of pressure you enjoy. He’s taken aback by how much he likes seeing your pussy stuffed with his cum. He fucks it into you, begging you to mother his children. The oozing climax slips past the seal of Sanemi’s cock, trickling down your thighs. The sensation tickles and if you had any part of your mind right now you’d be worried about the sheets. Tears roll down your face, half from happiness, half from being dicked down. He immediately catches your tears, eyes widening. “Are you okay?” He exclaims, bending to check on you. You nod your head, smiling. He blows out a breath. “Gosh, you had me worried…” He trails off, shyly rubbing the back of his neck. “You should only cry when you’re with me ‘kay? So I can be there to wipe your tears.” There’s a moment where you both stare at each other, dumb smiles on your faces. He kisses your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. “I love you, petal. I’m never going to leave you.” He promises. 

After washing up together you lay in his arms. The night was filled with the promise of eternal love. One that wouldn’t die so easily. Once you fall asleep, the golden band on your ring finger, Sanemi slips out of your home. Before he’s completely out of the door he halts near a table – quickly scrawling the happy news of your engagement to the only other person he cherished; his little brother. He hands the note to Sorai, that way Genya was bound to hear the news the quickest. He’s the happiest he’s ever been. He wants to shout from the rooftops, but he’s on a mission to find fresh flowers for his beloved wife – well soon to be wife. He rounds his mansion, one that wouldn’t be complete without you inside of it, heading for the dirt road that leads to a small patch of kikus. He gathers a couple of the delicate flowers within his hands, stopping under the moonlight to appreciate their beauty. He pulls a line of twine from his pocket, wrapping them together. 

But he never makes it back.

With a sore throat you groan as the morning sun bleeds into your room. It appears you’d slept through most of the morning. You reach out to pat the area next to you, expecting to find the sturdy frame of the man who commanded you not to wash out his cum. A bashful grin finds its way onto your face as you remember the previous hours. Your hand doesn’t bump into anything except fabric. Where had he gone? You planned to go see Master first thing in the morning together. You sit up, clutching the sheet to your body – suddenly too cold. “S-Sanemi?” You call out, your voice hoarse.

There’s no reply, in fact the house has never been this hauntingly quiet before. An ache coils around your heart. Where was your love? You take a moment to calm your breathing, trying to think of possibilities other than he’d left you. He’d left you and was never coming back. Last night was just so he could get his fill and when he walked through the doors of his house, he wouldn’t want you to still be there. A sick warmth spreads thorns inside your stomach. 

It takes you a few minutes to get ready, hissing as your back aches with strained muscles. Your pussy throbs around nothing, begging to be stuffed again and again. You’d have to have a word with her about that later, especially if your betrothed was thinking about breaking off the engagement. He wouldn’t do that…right? 

Outside the morning is a flurry of crows and a light breeze. You squint into the sunlight, concern breaking through your faux calmness. Why were there so many crows circling the mansion? “Yn,” You jump at the sound of your name, bringing your gaze downward to the snake Hashira. Your face scrunches into sorrow as your lips quiver. His eyes are all you need to see before you rush into his arms, breaking down. Obanai allows you to cling onto him, brushing a hand down your back in what comfort he could muster. His mind was otherwise occupied. He couldn’t bear listening to your sobs for much longer. Damn it Sanemi, where the hell were you? That’s when the snake Hashira catches the glimmer of a golden band around your finger. His eyes darken. 

“Wh-what am I supposed to do?” You whimper, nestled into the crook of Obanai’s neck. He releases a sigh, moving his hands to your shoulders. He moves you so that you’re looking into his eyes. He tries to hide the worry, but you’d grown up being able to read the emotions of eyes. Even in your state, it was clear – something was wrong. 

He shuts his eyes, hissing out a breath. When he opens his eyes he’s not looking at you. “We’re not sure. Sanemi made a big fuss yesterday about introducing his wife to everyone so we were all supposed to meet at Master’s estate. We waited all morning…” He trails off, turning his gaze to the sky where the afternoon sun was being covered by clouds. “He’s missing.”

Those words echoed in your head for the next two weeks. You sat in the wind manor, blank. It was like someone had pushed the reset button on you. Mitsuri tried to get you to eat, visiting you every meal time with a delicious smelling plate of food. Your stomach was tied in knots so you were unable to eat much of it. Shinobu had visited you too, checking your vitals and making sure you at least sat outside for an hour. Everyone was trying to help, some with the search party, others with looking after you. 

It was pitiful, the way you had to be taken care of every day because you couldn’t even muster moving your eyes. If you did, anything you’d see would remind you of the aching loss blooming in your body. There were times you sat and cried, staring at a wall. 

Love had splintered into pieces of the past. You were too numb to feel anything. 

A month passes and the one feeling that surfaces is resentment – to yourself. What a waste of space. You were a Hashira, apparently inept at doing her job. You let your grief take over your body instead of assisting the rest of the corps who were working tirelessly to find…Sanemi. His name. It had repeated over and over in your head. It dances through your gray matter, sinking into your brain. Pumped through your veins until he consumed all of you.

The dark early morning sky casts a glowing hue through your window. In a way the darkness was comforting because all the sun did was illuminate that you were alone. 

Get up. Find him. You stumble into a standing position, bracing yourself on the wall next to you. A rushing nausea fills your stomach. Your eyes widen as you rush outside, vomiting into the gravel. You fall to your hands and knees on the deck as the clamminess sticks to your body. A shudder courses through you as the little food you’d eaten leaves your body. Then it’s just dry heaving, tears streaming down your face as the acid stings your throat. 

You hold your stomach, hoping the pain is finally over. The tears pushed out of your body from vomiting continue, but now from the pain of loss. Sanemi would’ve taken care of you. He’d know what to do in moments like these. You bring your head to the sky, sobbing through the night. 

Your throat aches as you wake up with a start, nausea swimming around again. You curse as you scramble outside to the very same spot you’d visited earlier this morning. Once the ordeal is over, you sit there perplexed. You collect yourself, stepping into the gravel. Your body is shivering as you start walking towards Butterfly mansion. 

Shinobu perks up when you walk through her door. “Yn?” She tilts her head, scanning your body with concern. “What’s wrong?” As if she wasn’t going to inspect you until she found out. You push a weak grin onto your lips. 

A limp arm points to your stomach. “Vomit. I keep throwing up.” Her eyes widen, something crossing through them. You were so tired and there was an awful cramp twisting your guts into a mess. 

“Okay, come lay down here.” She motions for you to lay down on a cot next to her. “I’m going to ask you some questions,” She starts, peeking at you for confirmation. You nod your head, collapsing back onto the bed. She gulps, pulling up a stool next to you. “Do you usually get sick in the morning?” You nod. This elicits a shaky breath to leave her mouth. “Are you eating well? What about sleep?” You shake your head, a fucked up grin lining your lips. 

“What’s the point in any of that?” You laugh, turning your head away from her. You couldn’t stand having her look at you with such pity. She reaches out her hand, grasping your arm gently. 

“Yn, when’s the last time you had your monthly bleed?” She asks with such a soft voice you turn back to her, brows drawn together. What did that have to do with anything? Though, now that you’re thinking about it…

“I haven’t had one since earlier last month.” You whisper. Shinobu’s face falls, a curse under her breath. She sucks in that same breath before standing from her stool. “What is it?” Your mind felt fuzzy, almost clouded. 

She clasps her hands together, facing the empty room. “Yn… I think you’re pregnant…” She whips her gaze back to you. “With Sanemi’s baby.”

The color drains from your face and your pulse quickens. No. No it couldn’t be. From one time? Was that even possible? A violent shake jolts through you as you start to wail. “How could you!? How could you leave me here!?” You cover your face with the back of your arm as you continue to cry, although it was closer to the yowl of a cat. 

A baby. His baby. Your baby. 

What a joyous occasion. 

3 months later

You glance around the home you’d shared with the love of your life. Now, there was no life in this mansion. The walls had watched you cry yourself to sleep every night, it was probably time you gave them a break. “Don’t worry Miss Yn, I’ll make sure to clean it up just in case.” Tanjiro, a spitfire swordsman exclaims. You muster a sorrowful smile as you pat his head. You hope he never experiences loss like you have. 

Though you’re pretty sure someone told you his whole family had been murdered except his kid sister, who was now a demon. Okay, maybe he had it worse than you did, but the smile on his lips was a testament to how strong willed he was. A pang of pride shoots through you. “Thank you, Tanjiro.” You walk outside, turning to glance at the structure one last time, holding your growing stomach. “Say goodbye little one.” You whisper. Goodbye my love. It’s almost like you can see him leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, waving goodbye to you. 

Ubuyashiki instructed Giyu and Obanai to accompany you to a small village east of the corps. There was a small house waiting for you to quietly have your babies and raise them away from the dangerous headquarters. The journey was long, about a week away. 

When your small group finally stepped into the village there was a welcome party. Swordsmith village; a place only Hashira knew the way to. Usually Kakushi would have to exchange visitors on their backs to keep the location secretive. 

They welcome you with open arms, showing you to the small house where you’d be staying. “Go ahead, I’m sure you’ll want to rest.” Giyu motions for you to go inside, a slight smile on his lips. You’re worried, why would he be smiling? With a tentative hand you push open the door. There’s a figure in the middle of the room, long spiky hair falling down their shoulders. You yelp at the sight, falling back into Obanai’s chest. 

“Don’t just stand there Shinazugawa, greet your sister.” He chastises gruffly from behind you. The last name sends chills down your back as it finally clicks. 

Genya Shinazugawa turns on his heel, an all too familiar face greeting you. The breath in your lungs whoosh out. “Hey there Yn.” He bows his head, jolting when he sees the tears welling in your eyes. It’s involuntary when you rush into his arms. He tentatively holds you before tightening his grip. “S’gonna be okay. They’ll find ‘em.” He whispers against your shoulder. “S’gonna be okay.” He repeats himself, almost like he was trying to comfort himself as well. You hold each other for what feels like hours, crying with each other and spending the night talking about Sanemi. For the first time since 4 months ago you feel a lightness in your chest. 

Giyu and Obanai are staying in the inn not to far from your house, patrolling the perimeter of the village before turning in for the night. There’s a room on either side of the house, before coming together in a platform kitchen area and dirt entry way. Genya was going to stay with you for the duration of your pregnancy. Giyu and Obanai would always be close by as well. It was kind of like a little family. Giyu cooks, Obanai patrols, and Genya takes care of you. The thought makes you giggle to yourself, the sound of your laughter shocking you into silence. You spread your hand over the right side of the bed you lay in. 

“You look gorgeous in the moonlight, did I ever tell you that?” You turn your head, met with the grinning face of your lover. The weight of the whole world lifts from your shoulders as you peer into his lilac eyes. 

You shake your head. “No, I think you should tell me again.” You whisper, butting your head against his. He kisses your nose, rubbing the side of your head. 

“You’re my entire world. My gorgeous, beautiful, seductive world.”

Mornings come too soon, waking you from the enchanting dreams of having Sanemi next to you. It’s been your mission to walk through the town every morning to distract you from hopeless thoughts. “Miss Yn! Miss Yn! When’s the baby coming again!?” A little girl named Momo hops around you excitedly. Her parents were farmers and she had 5 older siblings. Her hyottoko mask slips down and before it can fall she grasps the rosy cheeks with her little hands. You laugh lightly. 

“Your mother will be upset if you continue bouncing around like a rabbit.” You ruffle her hair with the ease of attachment. It was true, this little girl had made her way into your aching chest, easing some of the pain. Genya trots up next to you, holding out a shiny rock. You cock your head curiously. 

He rounds in front of you, halting the movement of both you and Momo. He places the shiny rock in Momo’s hands. “Here, for you m’lady.” He squats down to show her the crystalized pattern on the back of the stone. Momo gasps when she realizes how pretty the rock is. 

She bounces up and down again, whooping about how Genya was the best big brother ever. He laughs but you can see the pain behind his eyes. Momo runs in circles around your legs, gripping her rock like it was the most precious thing in the world. “I think you just made a best friend.” You tease and Genya’s face spreads into a knowing grin. 

His gaze flows down to your rounded tummy. “Just practicin’. I want to make him proud.” His words are like the air sucked from your lungs. 

You peek at your stomach, running a hand over the bump. “You already have,” you mutter, trying to think happy thoughts as the memory of this morning’s dream tries to take over. “Momo, how about you take big brother Genya to the hot springs?” You suggest to the wide-eyed girl. 

Genya doesn’t have time to react before she yanks him toward the stone stairs. You smile watching them leave. It was taking time, but you were starting to heal. 

The walk to the gate doesn’t take a lot of time, but chatting with curious villagers makes it late afternoon by the time you continue your walk along the forest line. The kakumaki around your shoulders shifts as you brace against a chilling winter breeze. The air was crisp, but it reminded you of the winters spent under Sanemi’s arm, snuggled together by the fireplace. 

Today was his birthday and no matter how much love you were surrounded with, you just wanted to be alone. To think about him and wish him a happy birthday.

Snow lines the pathway, pushed against the short stone wall that extended for miles on either side. A sparrow flies above your head as you continue, humming a traditional song. You adored your neighbors, but the village became stuffy with all the fluttering around you. You’re sure some of the villager girls were happy there were two male Hashira staying close by. Maybe if Giyu got laid he’d learn how to smile – or not look like a psychopath while doing so. 

A grin lines your lips thinking about the friends whom you cherished so much. The air in front of you puffs out, warmth meeting the cold. Honestly, winter was your favorite season. You might be slightly partial due to your breathing style, but there was just something about peering over a field powdered in a white blanket. Trees were gray and bare, but with snow they became royalty swaying across a ballroom. There was one word for it – majestic. “Happy Birthday Emi.”

You’re about to brush some snow off the wall and perch against it when you hear a twig snap. A line snaps your head in the direction of the sound. It could very well be an animal, but they learned to avoid making noise in the winter in case a predator was around. Against every fiber of your being you call out, “Hello?” 

After a few beats of silence your heart starts to calm down. Okay, so maybe you were going crazy. Wouldn’t be news to you. “Petal,” The chill that runs down your spine paralyzes you. The boots you wore were stuck to the dirt. It was such an unhuman noise. Like a growl mixed with choking. There’s nothing but the vast white staring back at you. That doesn’t stop you from rushing back toward the village, clutching the furs over your shoulders. That night Sanemi doesn’t appear in your dreams. 

When you wake up, fresh snow has fallen over the village. Obania storms into your home, meeting your gaze with panicked eyes. “Thank the Gods,” He hisses, Giyu clamoring in behind him. Curiosity pierces your skin. 

“What’s going on?” You interrogate. Giyu glances at the snake Hashira, his gaze avoiding you naturally. 

He squeezes his eyes shut, staring intently out your window. “There’s been an attack. One of the villagers was killed last night.” His deep azure stare slides to meet yours. “By a demon.”

4 months later

Since then, multiple attacks have showered the swordsmith village with blood. “Miss Yn, is the baby going to be okay?” Momo lays on the ground of your kitchen, kicking her feet behind her. You smile as you set a plate full of ohagi in front of her. “Gee thanks!” She squeals. “Ma never lets me have these!” Great, her mom was probably going to give you a stern talking to.

You ease yourself down on the edge of the platform next to Momo. “From how strong they are, I think they could beat up even Mister Obanai.” You chuckle, observing Momo’s eyes widen with wonder, her hyottoko mask forgotten on the ground. She jumps up excitedly and punches the air. 

“Yeah! The baby can fight off the demon that killed my dad!” You wince as she brings up the first killing of the demon that had been eluding two Hashira. Three if you count yourself – which you didn’t. You pat Momo’s back, settling her down. 

She leans into you, affectionately kissing your temple. “Would you like to feel the baby kick?” You offer, chuckling as Momo nearly pounces on your large baby bump. “Careful now,” You laugh. Momo’s tiny hands press against your stomach, yelping when it jolts from the baby’s movement. 

“Feels like you have an army in there…” She mutters, furrowing her brows. “You sure there’s only one baby?” You raise your brows with a comical laugh. The village healer, Momo’s grandmother, must’ve been telling her about pregnancies. 

You place your hand over hers. “I’m pretty sure,” At least you hope so. You barely knew what to do with one baby, let alone more. “Why don’t you get tucked in, I’m sure your mother will be home soon.” After the tragic death of her husband Momo’s mother had moved in with you after growing close due to Momo’s obsession with your baby and helping with her mother’s check ups. Having the house full of noise was a better distraction than seeing Genya’s face in the morning and feeling a thrill of excitement only to wake up more and feel the drop of sorrow again. It wasn’t fair to Genya and it was starting to give you a complex. 

Genya was in the other room so it would be fine if you slipped out for a while right? The early spring night air greets you like it's been waiting. A loud crash breaks the peaceful night air. You’re immediately on guard, but it drops when Momo appears in front of you holding your nichirin daggers. “I’m gonna be a Hashira like you some day!” She yells before bolting into the forest. A part of you is honored, but then reality comes crashing down your body. 

“Wait! Momo!” You screech, reaching out for her small body. She shouldn’t be out here! You try to move as fast as you can toward where she ran, but progress is slow. Your ankles are swollen and the pressure on your stomach and back make you want to roll over and die. “Momo!” You call, panic settling into your bones. “Momo come back!” 

You hear rustling and your heart sores thinking she’s found her way back to you, but a rabbit bounces forth from the foliage. 

A throat wrenching scream startles birds from their slumber. Your skin prickles as it continues. Then – as if sent by hell itself – Momo’s voice calls out your name before the noise goes silent. Your chest is rising and falling rapidly. No, no, no, no, no. You continue to repeat that word to yourself as you brush past branches, thorns lashing out to your skin. You’re bleeding, but you don’t care. Nothing is as important as getting to Momo.

Blood. The forest ground is covered in it. Hunched over a small figure is what you can only assume is a demon. Your training tells you as much, but the fact it’s still crunching on Momo’s leg is telling enough. 

Your gut twists as you take in the scene before you. Momo had valiantly stabbed the monster with one of your daggers in the thigh. Her little hand was reaching out toward you, her glazed eyes staring into yours. Too late. You feel sick. Your body is woozy, you feel like liquid as you stumble forward. Kill it. Bile rises to your throat, you have to swallow the burning sensation down. Fucking kill it. Wet slurping noises make your nose scrunch up with disgust. You were going to throw up. Your hand is shaking as you reach for the other dagger, somehow near your feet. You’re a Hashira. Your muscles tense, yelling at your body to prolong the sobs you could feel building behind your facade. 

The wind blows the smell of blood and demon toward you. Stalling your movements. Oh no, you were going to vomit. Moonlight casts a glowing light toward Momo’s corpse. Fuck, you were going to avenge her. You’re panting, body unmoving. That is until you catch the black kanji on the back of the demon. Satsu – to kill. Your body is swaying with how hard you’re breathing. “S-Sanemi?” You weep out, collapsing to your knees. Twigs and sharp pebbles dig into your skin, but the radiating shakes and adrenaline keeps you from feeling it. 

Sure enough, the demon turns its body. Four horns sprout from his silver hair. The two front ones were taller than the two back ones. The tips were a deep maroon, bleeding into a soft purple. The same effect was present in the tips of his hair. His eyes reflect the moonlight – the glowing red color causing you to clamp a hand over your mouth. His uniform was across his body, revealing the chest you’d fallen asleep on. Green swirling marks snake around his chest and biceps. The bottom of his uniform was tucked into a pair of breeches, hanging low on his hips. Gone were his scars, gone was his life, gone was the man you loved. 

8 months ago

“Petal.” He sneers and the noise fills you with dread. He’d been with you this whole time. 

Somewhere out there was my wife and no matter what – I was going to make it back to her. The last thing I remember is sensing something near me while I was gathering flowers for her to smile at in the morning. There was a fight, I tried my best; not for me, but for her. My life was nothing until she molded me into something great. Here I was, failing her yet again. 

I thrash around, feeling rope strangling my wrists. Somehow I’d been tied to a damn chair. Trained Hashira and my end was going to come from a chair. I click my tongue, what are a few more scars? I tense my muscles and attempt to break free from restraints. 

An overwhelming presence washes over me as my failure resides in my heart. “Ah, you’re awake.” That voice. My jaw clicks with fury. If I just had my sword he’d be dead on the ground. I needed to find a way to escape. 

“Show your face, coward.” I hiss out, squinting my eyes as the apparent bag over my head is ripped off. Before me is none other than the Demon king, Muzan Kibutsuji. His crimson eyes light up with delight as I face him with blood lust. 

His raven hair is loose around his face, falling forward as he leans toward me. “Watch your tongue Shinazugawa or I might have to cut it out.” He chastises and I surge forward in the chair. I instantly regret thinking I had any chance of escaping because the wooden let down starts to fall forward – with me in it. Muzan catches the back of the chair, his scent filling my nostrils. “Careful, we wouldn’t want you getting hurt.” He sneers, settling the chair back on all four legs roughly. My blood boils with a blinding white rage. 

Hurt? Wasn’t that why he captured me? To kill me? He must notice my questioning face because he straightens his waistcoat, a lecherous grin lifting his lips to expose how much of a monster he really was. “The other Hashira are going to kill you.” I spit out, the rage she had quelled in me fuming up to the top of my head. 

Muzan laughs, raising his brows in amusement. “I’m sure they will.” He watches me out of the corner of his eye as he sinks his teeth into his own wrist. What the actual fuck? I turn away in disgust, bile rising to the back of my throat. Memories, they were flooding back to my mind. Surfacing the murky water I tried to submerge them in all those years ago, for her. His fingers grip my chin, yanking me to look at him. He’s towering over me and every cell inside of me wants to reach out and kill him. He dangles his wounded wrist above my mouth, forcing me to lift my head upward. My muscles are twitching as I twist my head away. A growling hiss echoes around the room as Muzan viciously positions me forward again. I want to cry. I want to whimper. I can’t. Not if I ever want to see her again. 

“Fuck. You.” I sneer through squished cheeks. The demon in front of me slams his wrist down, lining it up with my half parted lips. 

“You will drink orrr,” His eyes are crazy, yearning for violence. “I’ll have to go kill that pretty wife of yours.” 

His blood seeps down my throat, a tickling sensation because I refuse to swallow it. It’s tangy, metallic, and awful. How dare it mix with the taste of her. “Smart choice.” The first drop reaches my gut and the urge to throw up almost overtakes me. “When I return, I hope you’ll be…” He shoves my chin away, causing my body to fall over on the ground. I hit the stone floor with a loud clack and the wind whooshes out of my mouth. My skin feels like it’s crawling with parasites. “Hungry.” He laughs before leaving me in the cold room. 

 A few months later

They’ve tied me down, mocked me, tortured me – and yet I still carry on. It’s her voice that keeps me sane as they force rotten flesh down my throat. I’m turning into something dangerous – vile. A demon. An experiment. A mixed breed between a demon and a slowly dwindling human consciousness. 

My love, my warmth, my beautiful petal. I’m fading. I wish I could kiss you one more time. A sick smile works its way onto my lips. Propose to you a million times over, wrapping your wedding vows around my neck. I wouldn’t last much longer – I was too weak in the end. 

Muzan visited me often, injecting me with concoctions he’d made in the lab. I’d been tamed by the damn upper moons. I wasn’t a demon, but I sure as hell wasn’t human any more either. I desperately clung to the vision of her in my mind, but her eyes – the ones I could stare into for eons – were slowly slipping away. 

I squeeze my eyes shut. At least I could still envision her sweet smile. If I couldn’t be her husband… I’d have to be her hell.

A couple weeks later

Who knew horns would get in the way? It almost makes me feel sorry, but I couldn’t really feel anything. I worm my way through the trees, grinning to myself that I’d become so strong even Kokushibo had gotten out of my way. After all, I was the only one that could complete this mission; eradicate the swordsmith village.

I suddenly stop, the wind carrying a familiar – nauseating – scent toward me. My mouth feels dry, but my chest tightens as if the heart that was once there yearns to flutter. I pull the nood further over my head, hiding from the sunlight beaming through the trees. The snow made everything blinding, but I could still see. I could still see you.

I swallow, freezing in my advance. What were you doing here? I feel sick and…hungry. My nose curls in a snarl as I take a step forward. In my mindless draw toward you I make a noise that makes you twirl around. 

My breath catches in my throat, a thrumming sensation building in my chest. “Hello?” You call out. 

Your voice. It washes over me in a blanket of what I had lost. In a blanket of what I still yearned for. I bring my forearm to my mouth, biting down so I don’t call back to you. Today was my birthday and the heavens put you before me. So I call out in that name I always did.

4 months later

I’d been watching you. I couldn’t leave your side – or at least that’s what I told myself. I sought after your company from miles away. I watched as Obanai hunted for me, his face ragged with lack of sleep. I boiled with jealousy as I saw you laugh with that bastard Giyu. Then in an unexpected twist, my brother cared for you. There was a little girl as well – you loved her. 

I loved you. I loved you. I loved you. I loved you. I loved you. I love you. Hunger. Hungry. I slip into the shadows. A while later I hear yelling. Your voice. I’d become addicted to the sound of it. Even in this state. 

“Wait Momo!” You sound worried. I grin to myself. I always knew you so well. I could tell by the slightest inflection in your voice what you were feeling. 

“You killed papa,” A tiny voice huffs. I turn, taking in the panting sight of the little girl – Momo. She’s dragging your nichirin daggers behind her tiny body. I killed her papa? Yeah… I guess I did. I feel a pang of what a human might call guilt, but it's swallowed by the sudden urge to slay this small child. My mind goes blank as the largely demon part of me pushes what little human thoughts I had left down…down…down.

I can taste blood. It’s a glorious snap of bones. I crave the syrupy sweetness of innocence. My body shifts, feeling something sticking out of my thigh. One of your daggers the girl had stabbed me with while she screamed your name. Her blood drips down my jaw now. That sickening smell assaults my nose again and before I have time to react I hear a thump against the ground. 

I know it’s you. I can smell you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I’m so hungry. I turn my gaze away from the corpse in front of me. You’ve fallen to your knees, sobs choking your next breath. My arm twitches. “S-Sanemi?” You weep out and my name has never sounded so melodic. I could kiss you. You were here. For me.

Your scent fills my head, but for whatever reason I can smell my own scent as well… my human scent. My gaze drops to your stomach where a very obvious bump rounds your yukata. How had I not picked up on this yet? You were pregnant? With whose… then it dawns on me. 

Mine. You were pregnant with my offspring. A twinge of pride courses through my veins. I can feel three souls interlocked. Twins aye? I bring my gaze back to your trembling one. A boy and a girl. I want to ask you what names you have picked out. 

A low rumble echoes out of my chest as I move toward you. I want to wipe away your tears. I want to be your husband… “Petal.” I sneer, reaching toward your cheek to collect the steady stream of tears. Blood mixes with your sorrow. You slap my hand away, face morphing into anger. You scramble away from me. 

Yes, I wanted to be your husband…but I was your monster.

Present time {yn POV} 

Fate is a cruel mistress to have my body warm with recognition. My husband…my monster. What happened to him? Your eyes fall to Momo’s crumbled body again and the wash of grief carries you to your feet, scrambling away from the scene. “Petal, my love?” 

Your body recoils at the swallowed sound of his words. The fangs protruding from his mouth mumble his speech. “Get away from me.” You pant. His head tilts. “Get away from me!” You scream. There’s a collective breeze that blasts past you as Obanai appears next to you, Giyu not too far behind him. You feel like sobbing all over again. 

Obanai’s face is contorted in confusion and his arms shake with unbridled anger. “Sanemi?” He calls out. Giyu’s head whips to stare at the demon before all three of you. 

Sanemi scoffs, standing up from his position on the ground. “Was I so easy to replace?” He coos maliciously. “You spread your legs for every Hashira?” He chuckles, moving behind Momo’s body. Obanai and Giyu’s face fall as they realize what’s going on. 

HIs words hurt, but at this point you were too numb to even care what venom he’d spew at you. “Don’t talk to her like that.” Giyu commands, drawing his katana. Sanemi clicks his tongue, shaking his head. 

“Don’t you talk to her.” He growls, his eyes flashing a deeper crimson. “She’s mine.” 

“Yn! Get behind me!” Genya yells, appearing next to you. No, no, no, not Genya. This kept getting worse and worse. His eyes tremble as he stares at his big brother. A monster. 

Your back is pushed against a tree as Sanemi draws his own katana, beckoning the three men around him to attack. “Don’t you know it’s not okay to touch what isn’t yours?” He taunts. Obanai is the first to make a move. Swinging a gust of purple swirls toward the old wind Hashira. He deflects it was a sickening familiar green strike, twisting in the air like he’d taught you. Giyu rushes in, surging forward with his own water breathing style. 

It’s hard to make out what’s happening as the woods erupt in blue, green, and purple. Kaburamaru slicing away at Sanemi’s arms while Giyu cleanly attacked his abdomen. The dagger that was in his thigh slips away, clanging to the ground near Genya. 

He glances at you, his eyes easing into a sad smile as he picks up the weapon. “Genya…no.” You whisper, but he’s already gotten up. He turns on his heel, saluting you proudly before driving the dagger deep into his brother’s chest, pinning him to a tree. You gasp, seeing blood splurt out of Sanemi’s mouth. 

Genya and Obanai nod at each other. Together they intertwine their breathing, aiming for Sanemi’s demonic neck. Before they can make it, Sanemi uses his own breathing to send Genya flying against one of the trees next to you. “Oops,” He hums, turning his attention to the two Hashira still attacking. 

A scream builds in your throat, but nothing comes out. With trembling legs you rush toward when Genya’s bloodied body lays on the forest floor. “G-Genya.” You sob, collecting his bleeding head in your lap. His eyes are still smiling as he peers up at you. “No, no, no, no please. I can’t lose you too.” Your tears plip on his cheeks, mixing with the grim and plasma on his face. His hand limply finds yours. 

“You,” He coughs up blood, spitting it on the ground next to you. “Won’t.” He wheezes, squeezing your hand. Your face crumples into his hair, breathing in his comforting scent. 

You wouldn't lose the other one this easily. You couldn’t let another Shinazugawa die. You glance up, seeing Obanai and Giyu wearing thin as they war against the much stronger wind Hashira. You were useless and your soul felt like it was wilting. 

You had to do something. Something. Anything. “Sanemi.” You say, but the name is barely above a whisper. All the memories of what you had lost and everything you’d gained build enough pressure in your chest. “SANEMI!” 

Your scream gains his attention just long enough for Giyu and Obanai get him against a tree again. Obanai flipping as he sends his blade toward Sanemi’s throat. You watch in horror as a single tear falls from Sanemi’s eye. You swear he mouths I love you before his head disconnects in a straining last few moments. The kiss of sunrise blinks through the tops of the trees and it’s over. Everything is over. 

A month later

“I still can’t believe you didn’t name one after me.” Genya huffs, groaning as he shifts in his cot. You grin, smiling down at the bundle of innocence in your arms. Shinobu treds next to you, gazing down at the baby in her arms as well. 

A glaze of warmth is over her eyes. “I still can’t believe you came back…” She trails off, patting the cheek of your son with the pad of her pointer finger. You lean your head on her side, smiling up at her. 

“But I’m glad I did. There’s no better place to raise them than here.” You say, the feeling in your chest blossoming when Obanai and Giyu walk through the door. “Hey guys!” You greet, rising from your chair. Obanai stays near the doorway, but Giyu opens his arms as he walks toward you, taking your little girl out of your arms. “Is everyone on the way?” You ask, eyeing Obanai. He nods curtly, his face lighting up every so slightly when Shinobu shows him your son. 

You help Genya to his feet, guiding him the short distance to headquarters. The other three follow behind you, chatting and cooing with the babies. “Do you think you’re going to be alright?” Genya mutters, looking at you with concern lining his face. You nod your head, a sad smile lifting your lips. 

“I will be now.” The April spring wind blows a lovely flowering scent toward your group. You bask in the sunlight as you walk the rest of the path. “Hey guys, could you give me a minute?” You suddenly ask, an overwhelming feeling calling out to you. 

Shinobu gives you a worried look but then nods slowly. “We’ll meet you there, okay?” She says and within a moment the group has disappeared around the estate house. You turn on your heel toward the wisteria tree, still standing sturdily in the back garden. 

A deep breath brings the smell of blossoms through your body. “Jinya looks just like you and Momo has your attitude.” You laugh, gazing up at the hanging petals. “I miss you Sanemi.” You whisper. A gust of wind carries a few dancing petals toward you and your heart warms. “I love you so much.”

I love you too, petal.

Lessons of Lust | Sanemi Shinazugawa and Kyojuro Rengoku x fem!reader

Warnings: oral sex fem!receiving, nipple play, blow job, raw sex, virgin sex, creampie, breeding kink, threesome, cum in the mouth, swallow the cum, hair pulling, brain rot Word count: 1.4k a/n: hey now... Kyojuro and Sanemi brain rot go brrr

“C’mon, baby,” Sanemi coos behind you, his large hands gripping your hips. “You wanna be a good girl for us, right?” Your head falls against the white-haired male’s chest as your breathing falters. A smutty slurping noise echoes around the room, the vibrations of the male underneath you, making it hard to stay upright. 

The flame hashira pops off your clit with a loud smack of his lips. “Keep ‘er quiet Shinazugawa,” He huffs, the grin on his mouth eliciting a growing pressure in your core. Sanemi pulls you flush against him, nipping at the junction of your shoulder and neck. A whimpering mewl slides from your throat as Kyojuro uses the flat of his tongue to swipe the length of your folds. You shudder, the feeling of two men who were your superiors doing such filthy things to you driving you to the very edge. 

It started off as you simply blurting out that you had never been with someone to the flame hashira. He was surprised, to say the least, but he promised he’d train you in the ways of being with someone. That’s when the wind pillar showed up with the quest of sparring with Kyojuro, but he was busy eating out your wet cunt. 

Sanemi sat and gaped, his lilac gaze trying to take in everything at once. How you reached out your fingers for him upon his arrival. The needy look in your eyes as you squirmed atop Kyojuro’s face. He couldn’t help but touch your body, the curve of your breasts, the skin of your stomach, the plush span of your thighs, and your neck. 

You made it obvious how much you enjoyed the rough side of Kyojuro paired with the playful one of Sanemi. You were a wicked thing indeed, especially when your fingertips graze the bulge in the wind hashira’s pants, a fucked out grin tugging on your lips. 

Sanemi blows out a laugh, raising a brow as you continue with your ministrations, panting and moaning while palming at his breeches. “You’re practically beggin’ for more,” He laughs, running his rough fingers down your arm. 

Kyojuro grunts against your thigh, his heated gaze resting on you. “M’thinking we move on to the next lesson.” His teeth sink into the soft skin of your thigh, and your eyes widen before you let out a panted yelp. Sanemi stands up, leaving your back cold and weak. You whine, searching for him only to find the wind hashira dropping his breeches to reveal a stiff pale cock. Your chest lurches at the sight of him, his muscular chest seemingly all pointing to this very spot on his body. There’s a long jagged scar that dips below his pelvis, deliciously curving downward. 

The wind pillar had scars covering his skin, and most likely, the internal ones were deeper than the visible ones. When you first met him, it was an intimidating part of his personality – but now you knew they were tangible proof of just how hard he fought to protect the innocent. “Stop gawking,” Sanemi hisses, stepping toward you with his length firmly in his grasp. “Gods, you’re such a filthy thing,” He brushes the head of his cock against your lips, a gooey liquid connecting your bottom lip to his tip when he pulls back. A twisted smirk plays with his mouth as your tongue darts out to taste the substance he left behind. It’s salty with a hint of sweetness – just like the hashira himself. 

Kyojuro shifts from underneath you, his large hands spreading your thighs even wider. You wince, squeezing your eyes shut from the sudden pressure shooting up your joints. He’s situated the apex of your thighs over the firm place in his pants. The area around the flame pillar’s mouth is red from the ample time spent between your thighs, but a lustful glint in his eyes tells you he’s not done with you just yet. “Since you did such a good job on your first lesson, how about two for one?” Kyojuro nods to Sanemi who grabs onto your chin, pushing his cock against your lips once more. “This is goin’ to hurt before it feels good darlin’, but I know that’s just the way you like it.” The flame hashira unbuckles his belt, sliding it out with tenaciously. Your lips part enough for Sanemi to push into your mouth. He was long, but the sheer girth of the wind hashira is baffling. It’s a miracle he even fits in your mouth as your eyes flutter shut, tears stinging your eyes at the strain. 

Sanemi thrusts against your tongue, grunting in pleasure. “F’ck, so good darlin’” He pants, grabbing the back of your head to sloppily fuck your face. You whimper against his length, hungry for something more. Somehow you still felt empty, but – almost as if hearing your thoughts – Kyojuro lines himself up at your entrance. Then, with a hum of delight, he slips in. The wind hashira has a fistful of your hair as you groan against his cock. “Mmm, ya’like the way he’s filling you up?” Your eyes open, despite the zaps of pain shooting through your system. You manage to nod, spit dripping down your throat. A dark expression coats Sanemi’s lilac eyes, his grip tightening as he shoves his cock so deep into your throat that it hits the back. You choke, a garble of moans and attempted coughs filling the air. The wind hashira grunts, his eyes squeezing shut. “M’goin’ to cum in that pretty mouth of yours,”

Meanwhile, Kyojuro hits the wall of your maidenhood, a sharp pain jolting through you. Your eyes roll back in your head as he squeezes your hips. “Be brave, sweetheart, it’ll all feel better soon enough,” Then he thrusts past it, breaking the seal of virginity. You shudder and twitch as the excruciating pain slowly folds into a full pleasure. “That’s it, that’s my girl,”

Your mouth tightens around Sanemi’s cock, causing him to pant wildly. “M’so close, fuck, swallow it, take it all,” You brace yourself on Sanemi’s hips, content with how his cum fills your mouth. It takes multiple gulps to get it all down, but you smack your lips with a dazed expression when you’re done regardless. 

If Sanemi weren’t afraid of fucking you too much for the first time, he would’ve bent you over after Kyojuro had his fill. If you looked at him like that again, especially after swallowing his cum, the hashira was sure to fill all of you up with his seed. 

Kyojuro’s cock rocks into you, the slapping of your thighs on his becoming your favorite sound in the world as your moans crack into whimpers. “Yeah, take it all, fuck,” Kyojuro furrows his brows, his nails digging into your hips. “Take it all, gonna fill you up,” He huffs, his thumbs rubbing your stomach. You pant, placing your palms against the soft muscle of Kyojuro’s upper chest. 

Sanemi’s hands reach for your exposed nipples, pinching them between his fingers. “Not so fast,” He grins, twisting them. You throw your head back, the void of your pleasure filling exceptionally fast. “Leave some room for me, Kyojuro,” He starts “Whad’ya say we both fill ‘er up and see who gets her pregnant first?” Sanemi’s other hand slips down your side, spanning over your stomach. 

“Fine by me. That’s okay with you too isn’t it?” His eyes meet yours, and you limply nod, pressing your hands onto both Sanemi’s and Kyojuro’s. “Good,” Kyojuro huffs, his thrusts growing sloppy, the slick sound only edging him closer to his release. The coil wound tightly in your stomach cracks, a screaming moan falling from your lips as you cum hard. Your pussy clenches Kyojuro’s cock as you rock against your climax. It’s a wonderfully fuzzy feeling that spins you into a frenzy as your walls flutter around him. “Fuck you feel amazing. You did amazing,” The wind hashira keeps you still as Kyojuro fucks into you, the shivering pressure of overstimulation nearly sending you over the edge again. “M’ready, shit,” Your head falls as the flame hashira spills into you, a warm fullness coating your insides. 

Sanemi kisses your temple, a soft, warm feeling. Kyojuro loosens his grip on your hips, the indent of his nails leaving crescent shapes. “So did I pass?” Your voice is hoarse when you speak, but it gathers the attention of both males. Kyojuro glances at Sanemi, then shakes his head. Your brows furrow.

“Not…yet,” Sanemi leans onto your shoulder, his cheeks flushing pink. 

Kyojuro chuckles, sitting up to kiss the valley between your breasts. “We’ll just keep going at it until one of us gets you pregnant. Right, Shinazugawa?”

“Right.”

Well fuck.

HEHHEHEHEHEH WHATS UP MY BBG? I hope you have had a good day/night! I have this idea in my head that I'm ITCHING to get out but you can feel free to ignore❤️

Can you do what would happen and what would Sanemi, Giyu, Tanjiro, and Obani do if reader got turned into a demon during a battle?

LIKE I SAID FEEL FREE TO IGNORE!! YOU DA GOAT BBG❤️

GEHEHE I'M DOING SO GREAT! 🫶🫶I HOPE YOU'RE DOING EVEN BETTER THOUGH 😡🥹 It was raining here all day and I was a worrisome parent and got soaked going to check on my kitties🥰🥰. (also why would I ignore such an angsty request MWAHAHA😈)

Includes: Sanemi Shinazugawa, Giyu Tomioka, Tanjiro Kamado, and Obanai Iguro CW: pretty much reader dies in all scenarios, but... yeah no my heart hurt writing these so there's no hope for any of us. Death, angst, sadness.

Sanemi Shinazugawa

The demon’s claws slice through you, tearing your skin apart. You fall to the ground, crumpled and bleeding

“San-Sanemi,” You choke out, the life draining from your beautiful eyes.

A vengeful scream erupts from his throat, burning his very vocal cords as he rushes the creature

Its head falls to the ground with a gruesome thump, Sanemi dropping to his knees next to your corpse. “YN...I’m so-”

Your eyes, they’re open and your pupils pull into slits. His next breath catches in his throat. “Sorry,” He breathes, his eyes stinging with hot tears

He picks up his nichirin blade, using it to help him into a standing position. Sanemi’s choked sobs echo through the forest valley. The glint of fresh sunlight reflecting off of his blade as he plunges the tip into your heart. The sun is cresting over the mountains in a new dawn.

Your garbled noises nearly drive him to the brink of whisking you off to a shadowy haven, but you wouldn’t want to live out your life being the very thing you fought so hard against. 

As the ashen belongings of your body blow past him he feels like he’s just stabbed himself through the heart.

“Sorry…so sorry.” He cries, but the sunlight dries his tears. 

Giyu Tomioka

He was by your side one second then cornered off by a second demon. He wants to remain close to you and protect you, but as he lands the final blow to the demon in front of him he catches the tail end of the demon lifting you by your throat. 

His blood runs cool, the demon’s features twisting in a cruel sneer as it makes you lick up the blood from his wounds. 

Too late, too late, too late

Just like with Sabito, Giyu was too late to save you. His head spins, running through possibilities to somehow not fuck up again

Tanjiro and Nezeko were a special case, who’s to say Giyu would break through to you? And when he didn’t? Would his heart finally go numb? The risk was too great.

The demon has dropped you and ran off, leaving you panting on the ground. You touch your throat, hacking up the blood it tried to feed you. A glimmer of hope sprouts in Giyu’s chest. Maybe you had saved yourself? You meet his gaze, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Giyu,” you smile, the one he’d grown accustomed to seeing every morning when you greeted him. “Giyu, I need you to be strong,” you start, but he can’t hear you. He doesn’t want to.

“No, I’m not strong,” His voice is trembling. His body aches with the knowledge of what you’re about to request of him. He couldn’t do it. You meant too much to him and he was a selfish man. When everyone else ignores him you see through his suffering to the little boy underneath, scared of being seen for the fraud he was. 

There’s that smile again. “Giyu. You’re a Hashira, you’re more than strong – you’re kind. You know what you have to do. Please, before it’s too late.”

Giyu’s body feels limp as tears mix with his sweat. He was too weak to save Sabito, but he could still save you. He yells into the night, a pained scream that rustles the birds from their branches.

Your head thumps to the side, fanning into dust as he sinks to his knees, sobbing over your remains. Turns out – he wasn’t numb after all. 

Tanjiro Kamado

You’re bloody, a demon standing over you, it’s foul stench dripping round droplets onto your wound

“Let’s see if you have the heart to kill one of your own, slayer.”

Tanjiro had been through this before, with his younger sister Nezeko and things were turning out alright with her.

Would his bond be strong enough to snap you out of the demonic craze? You had acted like an older sibling to him, watching over his progress and always cheering him on. Often he thought the gods had blessed him with you so he would have someone to look after him when he had no one. 

“YN!” He screams, the demon slipping away into the night. “YN talk to me. If you can still talk that means there’s still time.” But the veins on your face bubble and contort your expression to one of hatred.

Tanjiro falls back on his hands, heart loudly echoing in his ear. “YN, please… it’s me…your little brother.” But it’s far too late to work on your once human heart. As you rise to your feet Tanjiro stumbles to his as well

His katana is shaking in his grip. You were a demon, but also his friend. He can’t see through his blurry vision. 

“Pathetic,” you spit, then before Tanjiro can will his heart to do what he knew he couldn’t, you spill into the shadows

His vow to cut the head from Muzan Kibutsuji’s body grew a thousandfold that night

Obanai Iguro

You had been on this mission for weeks now, fighting side by side. Obanai had grown fond of you.

That was until a demon stole you away, reminding him that fondness sprouted weaknesses. However, he tracks you down regardless.

The demon had set up in a cave, the dawn making this rescue mission easier, but as he steadily slides into the heart of the cave he finds you’ve been tied up, dried green blood on your lips

“Fuck,” Obanai hisses into the darkness, searching around for the creature that did this to you

“It’s gone Obanai…” You drawl, your voice raspy and strained. He winces at the state of you.

He rushes to untie you, hoping it’s not too late and the insect Hashira can work some miracle cure on you. If Obanai was fond of you he couldn’t even imagine how the corp members felt about you. 

It had been a while of your fighting off the urge to turn, there had to be hope for you. If only he could get you back to headquarters fast enough…

As if reading his mind you shake your head solemnly. “Please, let me see the sunrise one last time,” you croak, gaze drifting to the sunlight filtering in from the cave’s entrance. 

Obanai squeezes his eyes shut, the electric buzz of his heart making it hard to fulfill your request. He was stagnant, breath quickening as you pleaded with him.

He offers you his hand, willing his chest to return to steel. He leads you to the outside world and your grip tightens as you step into the sun. Obanai’s body aches with unrelenting sorrow. If only he’d kept a better eye on you.

Soon enough, a faint ‘thank you’ blows past him on the wind, and he rushes away from the spot, not willing to look at what he had so carelessly taken for granted. 

NSFW ReHEARsal | Sanemi Shinazugawa

Word count: 774

A/n: a little thingy I just whipped together :) I don't think I've ever written for Sanemi baby all by himself, though now that I'm thinking about it I did have an idea I need to get back to for him BECAUSE LOOK AT HIS FACE!! LOOK. AT. IT. Mans could be into MLP rp and there I'd be, princess Celestia and everything... anyway 🩷 Love youuuuu

You could hear the steady melody of a piano piece as Sanemi dug his nails into the meaty flesh of your waist. “Fuck, how come you always feel so,” His eyes roll shut, a gruff moan gliding from his mouth. “Perfect.” He hisses out. You’d answer him if you had rational thought. His cock was rubbing against your entrance and the way it made your skin vibrate with hungry sensations could make someone faint and, only to think of him while unconscious. He wouldn't allow that to happen though, not right before you had to get your pretty self on stage.

It was cramped in the costume closet, but he managed to position you perfectly behind a few racks of clothes. You were frightened the stench of sex would permeate the pretty dresses forever when Sanemi dragged you back here. There was no going back now – not after he’d stripped you of your short skirt, the one you’d worn just to rile him up. It had worked, maybe a little too well considering the moment the student director had told you both to go run lines, you ended up here. Sanemi was going to run, run his tongue through your pussy.

His rough hand grabs onto your chin, guiding your face toward his. “Don’t drift off on me just yet sweetheart.” His lips tick upward in a smirk and a whimper escapes from your throat. “I want you to feel every last drop.” He hums, letting go of you with so much force your head snaps the other way. 

Sanemi pretended to be impenetrable, but if there was one thing you learned from working with him – it was that he was the most gentle person you’d ever met. His hand glides up the plush skin of your stomach, pausing to pinch at your already stiff nipples. “Always so willing for me,” He kisses your shoulder blade and you can feel the smugness of his words bouncing off your back. His hand gropes and travels up to the base of your throat. Two fingers apply pressure – the feeling is almost too much. Your nerves feel shot from the amount of teasing he’d put you through. He must sense how restless you are because his free hand dips down to your clit – using his thumb to rub lazy circles around it. A loud broken moan shoots from your lips and before you can flush at the volume his fingers squeeze harder on your throat. “S’posed to be quiet.” 

Your head falls back to his firm chest, a breathy whine vibrating out. He chuckles darkly, releasing your throat to move your head gently to the side. His mouth works against your beating pulse, sucking where there weren’t marks already from him. “Don’t want your little friends to find out that you’re fucking your co-lead, hmm?” He coos against your skin, but whatever kindness remained for your plea of secrecy was gone as he pushes two fingers into your begging pussy. “You love it when I touch you, don’t you sweetheart?” When you don’t reply he pushes in deeper, his fingers curling against your walls. Your arms shake with the force of trying not to make a sound. “So quiet now,” He hums, delighted you’ve given him the challenge. 

Your head radiates with a dull throb as you bite down on your bottom lip. “There’s a reason the director gave you the lead role, why don’t you show everyone your beautiful vocals, pretty girl?” His fingers are pumping in and out – a rushing feeling stemming from your heart. His cock wasn’t even inside of you yet, but you were already a mess underneath his touch. 

He’s smirking against your neck, obviously happy with himself for rendering you a useless bundle of limbs. “S-Sanemi,” You whine. “I can’t – hngh – take it,” A sputtering moan interrupts your speech as the tips of his fingers brush against an all too familiar spot for him. 

His lips twist into a huge grin as his lilac eyes gleam. “Found it.” He whispers. Someone was bound to hear you – after all whines and moans were careening from your mouth as you let Sanemi support you with his own body. Your knees felt weak, they were surely going to buckle from the pleasure coursing through your system. “You were sayin’ somethin’ darling?” He purrs. “Too shy to put on a show?” He chuckles, pulling his fingers from your sloppy cunt – bringing them to your lips. With unsaid command your mouth parts, allowing him to run the taste of your arousal over your tongue. “No, that doesn’t sound like you.” He smirks as you suck his fingers greedily into your mouth. “You love the spotlight and I will always shine it on you.”

Of course, if you’d heard him you might’ve thought there was more to this show-mance, but his words were covered up by the hum in your brain. You were ready to let him fuck you against the wall, but the alarm on his phone signals it's time to go back to rehearsal. 

I love this man so much 😭😭

Soft!Sanemi drabble

I just love soft!Sanemi…This won’t fit into the fic I’m writing but I think it’s cute so I figured I’d share it anyway <3

Sanemi who is so touch-starved that he will absolutely melt under your hands when you run your fingers through his hair. After the first brush of your fingertips all his hesitation is gone and he is laying boneless with his head in your lap, eyes closed, just totally surrendered to your touch.

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