Sfthposting - Blog Posts

the face of a man preparing to give the performance of a lifetime as "fruity henchman":

mr mayo ily

(bonus under the cut)

the face of a man about to have his life ruined by the emmy award winning performance of "fruity henchman":

That feeling when your ceiling has collapsed and your dad is eating steak that has rubble in it and you ask if he's done anything to cause this and then he tells you some batshit insane stuff about cows and the roof and the door not being big and OH MY FUCKING GOD DID HE BUILD A CRANE???? and btw your uncle is there too chilling (bleeding out) (he was not meant to operate heavy machinery) (at least we now know why)

You've really got to be an experienced improvisor to feel no shame or hesitation to imitate a nymph sex scene in front of your closest friends and hundreds of strangers

hey yall check out this screengrab I got from accidentally pausing today's scene flurry

as a non-british sfth watcher, my understanding is they're basically plays written by students/first time writers that are trying to be deep/edgy but usually miss the mark and are instead unintentionally very funny

Sometimes I wonder how many non-British SFTH watchers have a just-off-the-mark perception of what GCSEs actually are thanks to the GCSE drama genre

yeah no, cool cool yeah, awesome, amazing even...

More GIFs because Luke and Tom's chemistry in this was something else

HANDS!!

"PAUSE!!" Bonus:

I want the people who follow me but dont know sfth to know that this is not out of context, that there was no context to this, and Tom just decided to start singing and the others joined it

this has been looping in my head all day

welcome to part 2 of making my friend make me rainbow loom merch for the random British men I'm obsessed with

once again thank you @fuckyeah-dragrace for making me another niche bracelet, and taking my crazy specific requests for it

thought about dressing up for "Clarissa's DIY wedding" but realized the stained p.e shirt from middle school and neon pink basketball shorts are exactly the vibe I go for in most DIY projects so I'm just committed to the bit

how'd these guys keep getting into my bedroom?

oh boy it sure is a mighty fine day to be sellin’ a whole truck-load of gas-o-line

if you had told me about 6 months ago that I would be currently obsessed with an improv comedy group consisting of four white British men to the point where I am learning more about improv comedy to better understand just how good they are I would've probably said "yeah that makes sense"

big day for shoot from the hip fans

'So what are your hobbies?' 'I do a lot of diving' 'Like deep-sea diving? That's so cool!' 'No, no, just floor diving'

James playing trumpet is such a good idea that I didn’t consider - even though he doesn’t enjoy it, I think it suits him and Margaery on the piano is so good- I think she’d be so good at it (and I love Derek having been a violinist and switching to viola, that makes so much sense)

Everyone in DIY Wedding makes so much sense - Clarissa and Amanda would be the most chaotic stand partners during rehearsals and things passing notes and things if they get a break while the conductor works on other sections and things

I always forget guitar is an instrument 😭 (sorry guitarist) but it does make so much sense for Bubba and Jeremiah to play

All of the Milkman characters make so much sense, too, like of course Jemima would’ve played some instruments (violin and piano makes much sense) and wanting Peter to do the same (David can teach him percussion things!). I also love Mr. Steven as a baritone, that is also so nice

Hi does anyone want to hear about my SFTH Orchestra AU???

I've had it in the back of my mind for a little while but I was suddenly struck with intense inspiration, so here's what I have so far ideas-wise with my favorites/more elaborated ones on top and going down with less detail (I'll split them up by longform for your convenience):

(Kind of a long post so beware. It should also be noted I have only been in orchestra and I know depressingly little about the choir and band so. I apologize in advance - please feel free to add input about either of those if you want!)

Unrelenting Aubergine

I'm not fully sure about what Margaery's role would be, but for some reason she gives me cellist vibes. Maybe it's the way Sam sits while playing her, idk- regardless I feel like she'd be really good at it and would have lots of experience

She can play baroque-style as well because I said so. (I'll get to it later but she plays in the group with Father Andrews and Begruvia, too)

She could also be the conductor... I feel like she'd fit the role well, but I want to keep that slot open for now

Titch and James, I'm not exactly sure what they'd play, but with Margaery playing cello it makes me think they could, too and Margeary's magic in this AU is instead her teaching their father to play and then also teaching them how to play. With them playing the same instrument, it still allows them to have their rivalry as they try to live up to their father's legacy! Maybe he leaves them a really really nice instrument and they're kind of competing for it

James also gives me double bass vibes so maybe he's just doing it to try to make their father proud but in reality he kind of just wants to play double bass. Maybe he likes jazz, he kind of gives me those vibes

And Derek!!! I can't forget about him. He gives me viola vibes for some reason. Or maybe second violinist. He just wants to support Titch!!! But I think he could play piano as I could see that fitting for him. He’s Titch’s accompaniment! Basically his assistant, still

(He also gives me music theory nerd vibes for some reason, so maybe he composes from time to time)

Phantom of Hornchurch

Begruvia plays baroque-style viola because I said so. (This is what inspired the AU, actually-) He can also play modern viola but he just prefers baroque-style

Andrews, meanwhile, plays the organ! (it's so associated with churches I though it would be fitting) That and maybe harpsichord/piano, too, since if he can play organ he can probably play those two as well

(He also kind of gives me conductor vibes, but that's usually reserved for the first violinist in ensembles [or, well, leading, is. Not exactly 'conducting']. He'd probably be second to lead, though)

They respect each other's skills but they don't really get along - probably because they have completely different musical interpretations of the pieces and things

Since it's probably a small group, however, - and as I mentioned earlier - Margaery is there, too, and they both respect her skills. She finds it amusing to watch them bicker when it's not interfering with their practice time. She is not afraid to scold them about them wasting time

Cardboard Stegosaurus

Cliff plays cello (I swear I'm not that biased- they just all give me cello vibes). He's in his own ensemble before meeting Maire-Claire

Marie-Claire plays either violin or harp, but I'm leaning towards violin. It mimics the voice, it can have such a sweet but intense sound; she steals the show and yet she is still so collaborative and knows how to work with a group so well and Cliff absolutely loves it (but she would also be so majestic with a harp so. Either or!)

Pierre plays viola or cello, too, but I'm actually leaning towards viola. Him and Marie-Claire used to do lots of duets together and they played in an ensemble together

Marie-Claire and Cliff meet at some kind of ensemble gathering together where they play in a group together and they are both just enamored by each other's playing and it goes from there.

I imagine they don't pressure Chip into playing any instruments, but he still wants to try. I think Marie-Claire would try to teach him some violin and maybe in the future if anything happens with Cliff and Pierre (because I kind of love them) Chip can pick up viola, too, and use what he learned about violin to transition to viola. Maybe he plays both - either way Pierre is impressed by how much Chip knows and probably recognizes the skills that he learned from Marie-Claire right away

Toby's Secret Pocket

Toby would play something really elegant. I could see him playing harp and being really proud of it - but I could also see him playing piano. Maybe he knows both

He could also compose music, that might make a little more sense (he'd probably play a bit, too, though)

I don't have any ideas for his wife yet, but I imagine she'd have some kind of role in the orchestra, too

Clancy and Doohickey, meanwhile, should be like, a really loud section. Either somewhere in the like band section (brass and woodwinds or whatever) or like. First violins. Something where they can fight about their positions all the time. I don’t know enough about band instruments to assign them any, though and I don't know if they fit violin

They also don't have to be in the same section, they could also be two different instruments always fighting about which instrument is better or which has better solos/pieces and stuff, which can do cooler things, that kind of stuff. They could have some funny stuff being at the front of their sections and constantly glaring at each other as they try to be the better player but also have to communicate so they just glare (I think they'd secretly respect each other's playing, though)

Jimmy can be there, too! I think he could play something like trombone, maybe. One of the brass instruments, I feel like. Or maybe we can give him a triangle. I think he’d like triangle. Regardless, he's just having a great time in the background

From here on I don't have as elaborate of ideas, but I still want to include them

Inside the Mysterious Cube

Jeremiah and Bubba I feel like would play something like the fiddle (which, fun fact, I'm pretty sure is literally just violin and all of the difference comes from the style of play, actually) or something like saxophone. Which, I know would make them be kind of out of place in an orchestra, but idk, I think it suits them for some reason

Regardless they just enjoy themselves. I feel like they'd do a lot of duets and things rather than like full group performances

Clarissa's DIY Wedding

Amanda could sing. I think she’d have a great singing voice. That or like. Bassoon??? Idk why I just like. I just see it.

Clarissa, meanwhile I could also see singing. But maybe she picks up another instrument. I could see her playing flute

I think they would have met when they were young at some kind of music camp or at a music class at school and they just hit it off and became best friends from there. I think they would have done some great duets when they were younger

Mark would either play one of the brass instruments or like, keyboard. Some kind of electric instrument. Or maybe percussion. Admittedly I don't have many ideas for him (and I know too little about band to give him an instrument...) but he should be there, too

Priscilla's Final Petal

Priscilla! She still plays piano, she still pretty young (maybe somewhere around 18), still pressured into it by her parents (probably getting her into college, too), and she’s good at it, but… she doesn’t enjoy it.

Because of this she doesn’t have much musicality (or like. Putting emotion into the music, kind of). She plays the notes on the page as they’re written and doesn't really try much else. It doesn't have much emotion and it sometimes hinders the performance.

Everyone in the orchestra worries about her because she doesn’t seem to enjoy herself… (I like to think they try to take care of her or at least check in on her because she's still pretty young compared to most of them and she doesn't seem to be enjoying herself, but she's a good kid - I feel like Derek especially would check in on her, but people like Amanda, Jeremiah and Bubba, and Cliff do, too - oh, and Margaery! She acts like she doesn’t care but she does)

One time she gets really angry during a rehearsal and just stands up and yells at the conductor (whoever that ends up being, I still don't know) about how much she hates music and playing and how dumb it all is. Maybe she throws her music to the ground, of which some sections are just scribbled frantically out, and she just walks out and doesn’t return for the next few rehearsals

I think she would just need to find out how to enjoy music on her own or find something else to do - maybe a different instrument, maybe something else entirely, who knows

Wild, Wet, and Worrisome

Persephone!!! Maybe she sings but she just isn't great at it. Or maybe she is but she doesn't like it all that much. But the others still like her, even if they can be a bit rude at times (her sisters can be there, too). In my mind she desires to play another instrument and hasn't gotten a chance to try anything different (for some reason I want to say flute)

Maybe that’s how she meets Geoff. Maybe he plays something else - percussion? They’re both a bit awkward and they still hit it off - I don't have many other ideas about them, though, but I want them to be there

And that's it for now! I really want to include Tarquin and Amanda from Lost In Your Eyes (who would've guessed), but I don't have any ideas for them yet... I kind of want to include Beetroot Sam/Rupert and Justin, too, cause I like them, but I'm not sure. Maybe the Bandit Brothers, too. Jemima, David, and Mr. Steven from Milkman could also fit in... Caesar and Juliet could join in on the baroque-style playing group. Nigel, Andrew, and Uncle Sam could be fun to put in there, too. I should probably go to sleep now, but I might add onto this later with more ideas for them as I think of them.

Thank you for reading my ramblings! Feel free to add more ideas, I'm now very invested in this AU. Maybe I'll write something for it in the future but I'm not sure (Also, I need ideas for a conductor... I keep forgetting… Conductor Nigel, maybe…? I don’t know)

Hi does anyone want to hear about my SFTH Orchestra AU???

I've had it in the back of my mind for a little while but I was suddenly struck with intense inspiration, so here's what I have so far ideas-wise with my favorites/more elaborated ones on top and going down with less detail (I'll split them up by longform for your convenience):

(Kind of a long post so beware. It should also be noted I have only been in orchestra and I know depressingly little about the choir and band so. I apologize in advance - please feel free to add input about either of those if you want!)

Unrelenting Aubergine

I'm not fully sure about what Margaery's role would be, but for some reason she gives me cellist vibes. Maybe it's the way Sam sits while playing her, idk- regardless I feel like she'd be really good at it and would have lots of experience

She can play baroque-style as well because I said so. (I'll get to it later but she plays in the group with Father Andrews and Begruvia, too)

She could also be the conductor... I feel like she'd fit the role well, but I want to keep that slot open for now

Titch and James, I'm not exactly sure what they'd play, but with Margaery playing cello it makes me think they could, too and Margeary's magic in this AU is instead her teaching their father to play and then also teaching them how to play. With them playing the same instrument, it still allows them to have their rivalry as they try to live up to their father's legacy! Maybe he leaves them a really really nice instrument and they're kind of competing for it

James also gives me double bass vibes so maybe he's just doing it to try to make their father proud but in reality he kind of just wants to play double bass. Maybe he likes jazz, he kind of gives me those vibes

And Derek!!! I can't forget about him. He gives me viola vibes for some reason. Or maybe second violinist. He just wants to support Titch!!! But I think he could play piano as I could see that fitting for him. He’s Titch’s accompaniment! Basically his assistant, still

(He also gives me music theory nerd vibes for some reason, so maybe he composes from time to time)

Phantom of Hornchurch

Begruvia plays baroque-style viola because I said so. (This is what inspired the AU, actually-) He can also play modern viola but he just prefers baroque-style

Andrews, meanwhile, plays the organ! (it's so associated with churches I though it would be fitting) That and maybe harpsichord/piano, too, since if he can play organ he can probably play those two as well

(He also kind of gives me conductor vibes, but that's usually reserved for the first violinist in ensembles [or, well, leading, is. Not exactly 'conducting']. He'd probably be second to lead, though)

They respect each other's skills but they don't really get along - probably because they have completely different musical interpretations of the pieces and things

Since it's probably a small group, however, - and as I mentioned earlier - Margaery is there, too, and they both respect her skills. She finds it amusing to watch them bicker when it's not interfering with their practice time. She is not afraid to scold them about them wasting time

Cardboard Stegosaurus

Cliff plays cello (I swear I'm not that biased- they just all give me cello vibes). He's in his own ensemble before meeting Maire-Claire

Marie-Claire plays either violin or harp, but I'm leaning towards violin. It mimics the voice, it can have such a sweet but intense sound; she steals the show and yet she is still so collaborative and knows how to work with a group so well and Cliff absolutely loves it (but she would also be so majestic with a harp so. Either or!)

Pierre plays viola or cello, too, but I'm actually leaning towards viola. Him and Marie-Claire used to do lots of duets together and they played in an ensemble together

Marie-Claire and Cliff meet at some kind of ensemble gathering together where they play in a group together and they are both just enamored by each other's playing and it goes from there.

I imagine they don't pressure Chip into playing any instruments, but he still wants to try. I think Marie-Claire would try to teach him some violin and maybe in the future if anything happens with Cliff and Pierre (because I kind of love them) Chip can pick up viola, too, and use what he learned about violin to transition to viola. Maybe he plays both - either way Pierre is impressed by how much Chip knows and probably recognizes the skills that he learned from Marie-Claire right away

Toby's Secret Pocket

Toby would play something really elegant. I could see him playing harp and being really proud of it - but I could also see him playing piano. Maybe he knows both

He could also compose music, that might make a little more sense (he'd probably play a bit, too, though)

I don't have any ideas for his wife yet, but I imagine she'd have some kind of role in the orchestra, too

Clancy and Doohickey, meanwhile, should be like, a really loud section. Either somewhere in the like band section (brass and woodwinds or whatever) or like. First violins. Something where they can fight about their positions all the time. I don’t know enough about band instruments to assign them any, though and I don't know if they fit violin

They also don't have to be in the same section, they could also be two different instruments always fighting about which instrument is better or which has better solos/pieces and stuff, which can do cooler things, that kind of stuff. They could have some funny stuff being at the front of their sections and constantly glaring at each other as they try to be the better player but also have to communicate so they just glare (I think they'd secretly respect each other's playing, though)

Jimmy can be there, too! I think he could play something like trombone, maybe. One of the brass instruments, I feel like. Or maybe we can give him a triangle. I think he’d like triangle. Regardless, he's just having a great time in the background

From here on I don't have as elaborate of ideas, but I still want to include them

Inside the Mysterious Cube

Jeremiah and Bubba I feel like would play something like the fiddle (which, fun fact, I'm pretty sure is literally just violin and all of the difference comes from the style of play, actually) or something like saxophone. Which, I know would make them be kind of out of place in an orchestra, but idk, I think it suits them for some reason

Regardless they just enjoy themselves. I feel like they'd do a lot of duets and things rather than like full group performances

Clarissa's DIY Wedding

Amanda could sing. I think she’d have a great singing voice. That or like. Bassoon??? Idk why I just like. I just see it.

Clarissa, meanwhile I could also see singing. But maybe she picks up another instrument. I could see her playing flute

I think they would have met when they were young at some kind of music camp or at a music class at school and they just hit it off and became best friends from there. I think they would have done some great duets when they were younger

Mark would either play one of the brass instruments or like, keyboard. Some kind of electric instrument. Or maybe percussion. Admittedly I don't have many ideas for him (and I know too little about band to give him an instrument...) but he should be there, too

Priscilla's Final Petal

Priscilla! She still plays piano, she still pretty young (maybe somewhere around 18), still pressured into it by her parents (probably getting her into college, too), and she’s good at it, but… she doesn’t enjoy it.

Because of this she doesn’t have much musicality (or like. Putting emotion into the music, kind of). She plays the notes on the page as they’re written and doesn't really try much else. It doesn't have much emotion and it sometimes hinders the performance.

Everyone in the orchestra worries about her because she doesn’t seem to enjoy herself… (I like to think they try to take care of her or at least check in on her because she's still pretty young compared to most of them and she doesn't seem to be enjoying herself, but she's a good kid - I feel like Derek especially would check in on her, but people like Amanda, Jeremiah and Bubba, and Cliff do, too - oh, and Margaery! She acts like she doesn’t care but she does)

One time she gets really angry during a rehearsal and just stands up and yells at the conductor (whoever that ends up being, I still don't know) about how much she hates music and playing and how dumb it all is. Maybe she throws her music to the ground, of which some sections are just scribbled frantically out, and she just walks out and doesn’t return for the next few rehearsals

I think she would just need to find out how to enjoy music on her own or find something else to do - maybe a different instrument, maybe something else entirely, who knows

Wild, Wet, and Worrisome

Persephone!!! Maybe she sings but she just isn't great at it. Or maybe she is but she doesn't like it all that much. But the others still like her, even if they can be a bit rude at times (her sisters can be there, too). In my mind she desires to play another instrument and hasn't gotten a chance to try anything different (for some reason I want to say flute)

Maybe that’s how she meets Geoff. Maybe he plays something else - percussion? They’re both a bit awkward and they still hit it off - I don't have many other ideas about them, though, but I want them to be there

And that's it for now! I really want to include Tarquin and Amanda from Lost In Your Eyes (who would've guessed), but I don't have any ideas for them yet... I kind of want to include Beetroot Sam/Rupert and Justin, too, cause I like them, but I'm not sure. Maybe the Bandit Brothers, too. Jemima, David, and Mr. Steven from Milkman could also fit in... Caesar and Juliet could join in on the baroque-style playing group. Nigel, Andrew, and Uncle Sam could be fun to put in there, too. I should probably go to sleep now, but I might add onto this later with more ideas for them as I think of them.

Thank you for reading my ramblings! Feel free to add more ideas, I'm now very invested in this AU. Maybe I'll write something for it in the future but I'm not sure (Also, I need ideas for a conductor... I keep forgetting… Conductor Nigel, maybe…? I don’t know)

One of my favourite things about this fandom is someone could say “hey does anyone remember what video ding a ling bing bong penis kachow is from???” And like 5 people would go oh my gosh yes I love ding a ling bing bong penis kachow

I absolutely love the moments in the recent plays where a child gets into a fight with their parent and then right after is like "I'm sorry, I still love you"

I think it happened in the most recent one of The Pilot's Final Flight with Michael and his mother (given, he was like. 23 in that scene, but the point still stands) and Green Leaves on a Summer's Day and I can't get over it. I just love how they still want it to be known to their parent that they still care and love them even after a fight. More good family dynamics please (ignoring that things got physical in Green Leaves on a Summer's Day-)

Sometimes I wonder what the AO3 tag wranglers thing about the SFTH fandom- we probably make things so difficult for them- just think about how many characters don’t have names, that in it of itself can’t make things easy

Anyway, thank you AO3 tag wranglers for dealing with the fandom. I love the tag wranglers

I don’t know why I’ve never questioned it before now but… what’s going on in the thumbnail for Lost In Your Eyes??? Like what is that explosion off to the right there for??? There’s literally no explosions in the entire play as far as I can recall???

One year for class we read “Much Ado About Nothing” by Shakespeare, and all I’ll say is, Clarissa and Mark (from Clarissa’s DIY Wedding) reallllly remind me of Hero and Claudio (I think that was his name)

Anyway, my class did a vote on if/how long we thought the other pair and Hero and Claudio would last and people were not confident in them (Hero and Claudio, that was) lasting soooooo take that as you will

I thought I was going to have a straightforward answer and then I realized: what even counts as "morally wrong"? And then spent the next like 15 minutes going through characters and considering if what they did could be considered morally wrong-

Anyway, with perhaps the most directly 'morally wrong' character I like the most, I think I'd go with Don Vincenzo from The Grape Depression? There's something about him that just fascinates me and I quite enjoy it. He lost his own son, decides he wants another one, basically threatens a man to make him one, and then once he actually gets the boy, he straight up sets it on fire

But at the same time he did give the family money and I don't think he was fully morally wrong? - Idk, I can't put my thoughts into words

Some honorable mentions go to James from The Unrelenting Aubergine because I don't think he's really morally wrong necessarily, but he did kind of go mad with power and completely screw over his brother's dreams by flipping the land (the farm that James knew Titch cared so much about), so who knows how far he would've gone with that. But to me he just seems kinda lonely (same with the Don above, actually) and I think that's what draws me to his character

And then Old Lady Margaery who could steal literally everything from me and I would still absolutely adore her. I don't think she's really morally wrong, though. Like, sure, she's a witch that deals drugs but like... Is that necessarily morally wrong? I don't know. She's just kind of giving people what they want? So. I don't think she counts, but I absolutely love her so much

(Quick edit, I forgot Phantom Begruvia from Phantom of Hornchurch, which I also absolutely love, but I don't really know if he's like. Morally wrong???? Like yeah, he went to Hell so I guess that's probably morally wrong. Yeah. Idk, he's cool too - I'm too lazy to add more thoughts about him now but I don't think he did much else morally wrong other than that. And maybe murdering someone???? But like. Maybe he didn't? It's never realllllly stated, so who really knows)

what's your guys' favourite morally wrong character?

ill start, my favourite character is the Father from Burglary and Bobsledding, he starts his role as very financially-starving, accidently stuttering and showing his true motivation on why he wants his boys to grow up to be bobsledders, money.

-in which Helter points out but is sadly ignored

he then ends his character in death, by revealing that he didn't do the gambling for the finance and for bringing money home to the family, he did all the gambling only for the thrill of it. the excitement of spending money.

and he dies. with no good ending or peaceful resolution. just. an absolute heartbreaking story of a bad father