Simon: *has a child safety teather*
Mary: Is that a leash?
Jesus: No, it is a child safety teather, let’s go Simon
Judas: It’s a leash, don’t judge us
Judas: Simon is going through a phase, gosh, at least we hope it’s a phase
Jesus: He bolts every chance he gets, so we had no choice than to put him on a child safety teather
Judas: …
Judas: It’s a leash... and we did have a choice
Diego De Vil: Everybody has a bad cousin that teaches you a few things. Like how to smoke, how to pick-pocket, how to wire a car, how to out tracks on your shoe, when you want to throw off a lie detector test.
Jace Badun: Which cousin was that? Surely it wasnt Carlos.
Diego De Vil: I am the cousin.
Ben: I think that's enough drinks for today
Mal: Im playing a game thats called "I take a shot everytime I feel depressed"
Ben: that game exists its called alcoholism
Fairy Godmother: what is the most irritating thing that your family has said to you?
Chad: That's too much cologne
Mal: that's how girls end up dead
Gil: Dont talk black to me
Evie: It's inappropriate because he is your teacher
Gil: how do you even talk black? End words with izzle?
Uma: that's back you idiot
Audrey: Act more like an adult. What does act more like an adult even mean?