i'm not going to let myself
have a new crush
not this soon
not on her
i'm not going to let myself
like a girl so painfully straight
and break my streak
of not liking girls who could never
like me
but what happens
when i catch myself thinking of her
or looking for her
or lighting up, briefly,
at her name on my phone
when she's creeping up on me
like the first sign of spring
six more weeks of winter
i can't go any more days without her
but i promised
no more girls
not right now
definitely not her
shut up, heart